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30 Crazy Yet Hilarious “I Looked Away For One Second” Stories Shared By Parents Online
Becoming a parent is like instantly gaining 37 levels in a role-playing game—some acquire superhuman reflexes for whenever your kid decides it’s time to tumble down the sofa, while others get that perk where you don’t need a ‘long rest’ for days because you divide up your sleep into naps to coincide with the kid’s sleep schedule.
However, even heroes can err, and sometimes—just sometimes—there is a moment when we turn away for one gosh darn second and our kid is already gone like Copperfield vanishes from his glass boxes.
A netizen by the nickname of u/blamingpig456 asked parents of Reddit to share their I looked away for ONE second stories, which prompted nearly 10,000 comments and brought in over 42,500 upvotes and 180 plus Reddit awards.
We’ve collected the best stories from the viral post to create a curated list that you can find below. Scroll down to learn what the little critters ended up doing during that moment of complete freedom from their parents, and why not vote and comment on the stories you enjoyed the most!
More Info: Reddit
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#1
I swear babies that can't even flip over yet can teleport short distances when no one is observing them. You put that thing down in one spot, turn your back on it for one second and then it's moved a few feet away.
They can do this because they don't understand how it's impossible. When babies learn enough about physics and object permanence to be able to move and navigate they lose the ability to teleport, because then they know enough to figure out it can't be done.
RELATED:
#2
My son was 3. We were leaving Target. He left my sight as I was adjusting my bags. Maybe two seconds, tops. Poof. He was gone. I try to act cool , but my true crime podcast obsession got the best of me. The store locks down. We are all looking for him. People are checking cars outside. I’m calling my son’s name louder than any intercom system. We were just about to call police.
And then my toddler slides out of the cart area and acts like,”’Sup?” He decided it would be a most excellent idea to shimmy underneath the carts and sit there as the world turns inside out searching for him.
I hugged him and yelled at him for a good 10 minutes, ugly sobbing.
100/100 grateful for my Target folks. We catered lunch for them as a huge thank you and sorry my kid is an a-hole.
Emerald Ocean 2 years ago
I misread it and thought the kid came zooming by ON THE CART yelling Sup. I was laughing so hard. LOL
#3
When I was a kid my mom was watching me play while hanging laundry. When she turned to hang a garment I discovered a “bouncy spot” in the grass and fell down a 100ish year old abandoned well. She said that day took years off her life.
#4
We moved into our new house on Halloween in 2001. Most of the heavy lifting was done, so the wife decided to begin unpacking the important stuff and I would take our 8 year old daughter out trick or treating. We stepped outside and I realized I left my phone.
Standing on the front porch I tell her..."Don't move, I have to get my phone. I'll be right back. Do not move."
Narrator: She moved.
New neighborhood. Kids and parents everywhere. I'm running up and down the street frantically and after about 15 minutes later I spot a family, mom and dad and a handful of rugrats...with mine in tow.
They had a good laugh telling me they just turned around and there she was, having appeared out of nowhere. Decided to stay close assuming some hysterical parent would eventually come running.
Henry Russell 2 years ago
the same thing happened when my little sister who was like four walked out door and thankfully was found by a group of teenagers when my mom found her
#5
I glanced at the salt, and toddler daughter grabbed a whole new potato off my plate and shoved it in her mouth. She then tried to swallow it and choked. Longest 15 seconds on my life getting it out of her. Learn child first aid people! They are suicide machines as toddlers.
#6
It was 23 years ago, but still fresh in my mind.
I looked in my rearview mirror, and my son, in his car seat, was happily gazing out the window, gnawing on a chicken McNugget.
I hadn't been to McDonalds in weeks.
My memory is fresher than that Mcnugget was.
#7
I was making dinner for my twin 18mo when boy twin starts to fuss, so I carefully put the knife about a foot away from the edge of the counter. I intentionally put it away from the edge because my girl twin is NOT to be trusted. I go change my boy and turn around and my girl is casually holding my large, sharp chopping knife. I had to get it from her like a hostage negotiator so she wouldn’t run away with it. I couldn’t figure out how she got it so I looked at the video and as soon as my back was turned she was grabbing the cutting board to pull the knife closer and then immediately skipped over the carrots and peeler to grab the knife. I was clearly correct in not trusting that feral child
Jessica Rabbit 2 years ago (edited)
"I was clearly correct in not trusting that feral child" had me crying with laughter...
#8
My older brother was the kind of baby that would get into things if you didn’t pay attention to him for second and it drove my parents crazy. My aunt told my mom she was just a bad parent so my mom said “Ok then. You babysit him tomorrow when I’m at work.” The next day my aunt called my mom while she was work freaking out. There was white smoke coming from up stairs and it turned out that my brother got ahold of baby powder and was just going ham on it upstairs. After that my aunt apologised to my mom.
Orange is aging 2 years ago
Never say that parent don’t know what they’re doing or are “bad parents” (unless they actually are). You probably don’t know the HALF of what their children do!
#9
She found some glitter
#10
Not me but my wife. Our two younger kids are 14 months apart. When our daughter was around 3 and our son was 2, my wife went into the garage to grab a frozen pizza out of the deep freezer and one of the kids, not sure which one, shut the door and locked my wife in the garage. She was banging on the door and could hear the little boogers in there laughing at her. My wife was not amused, she got a flathead screwdriver from my toolbox and manage to unlock the door. This all took 15 minutes or so, when she got in the house they were in their room watching cartoons and eating cookies they manage to steal. They would’ve left her out there all night. Its funny now 10 years later but my wife was scared s**tless. We have kept a spare key hidden in the garage ever since.
Kookamunga 2 years ago
Once I saw her screwdriver, I had to find a picture of the Mom.... giant-lady...f555e4.jpg 
#11
I was shopping in Sears with my son who was 4 years old at the time. I had to speak to one of the employees and I turned and he was gone in a matter of seconds.frantically calling his name, people are helping me look for him 10-15 minutes go by I'm crying I am extremely distressed of course and I hear a man calling and waving "over here over here " I run over to where he was and there is my 4-year-old sitting on a riding lawn mower that was on display making his vroom vroom noises, happy as a lark.
ForgotMyPWSendHelp 2 years ago (edited)
Can't help but be reminded that John Walsh's son Adam disappeared from a Sears around the same age. His partial remains were discovered several weeks later, and John Walsh went on to become a victim advocate and create the TV show America's Most Wanted. His personal tragedy has led to a lot of missing children being tracked and found and a lot of violent criminals being captured.
#12
I had been drinking scotch one evening while doing dishes. So I'm standing at the sink. I hear my 3 year old stumble into the room, pull a chair out from the table and climb up. I'm not thinking anything of this until I hear a small voice say "Juice!" as I turn to watch him dump about 1/2oz of single malt into his mouth. This was immediately followed by a gasp, then he turned bright white, then bright red.
He went to bed early that night.
#13
Getting ready for my first Christmas party at a company. It's a family affair. We all looked great. Hubby was already in the car, ran to the bedroom for something I forgot, we were running a little late. Ended up going to to the party with my 3 year old looking like a smurf because he thought my blue nail polish was "just like mommy's makeup". Still to this day don't know how he got the cap unscrewed because he's 10 now and can't open an already cracked bottle of water to save his life
#14
Left my son at the kitchen counter while preparing pancakes. One minute he’s there, the next thing I know he’s successfully empties the syrup bottle All. Over. The. Couch. I mean puddles of syrup in our cushions and pillows. First time as a parent I remember calling my mom crying because I was at such a loss for how to clean it all up.
May 2 years ago
I once babysat my 3 year old niece, who was the most well behaved little girl. She was drawing peacefully at the kitchen table, when I left her for 2-3 minuets to go pee. In those minuets she had run to the other bathroom, grabbed a shampoo bottle and squirted shampoo all over the couch, kitchen chairs and her fathers very expensive soundsystem. I was impressed with how much she had managed to cover. No permanent damage, thankfully. But a whole lot of cleaning up.
#15
Not my kid, but about 20 minutes ago a toddler just kinda... wandered into my apartment. I had the door unlocked so maintenance could come in and out while working on something. My daughter and I heard the TV go on and sure enough some little blonde girl with cute pigtails is just plopped down watching cartoons. Lol. Her parents were probably s***ting bricks.
#16
Went to the toilet, leaving the newborn asleep on a blanket on the floor (on top of a large fluffy carpet). 3 year old was watching tv nearby. Came back to find baby literally rolled up in carpet like a dead body, 3 year old sitting on top, with a cushion under him too. Still don’t know how he did it at all let alone so quickly, and how the baby was totally chilled and unharmed.
#17
I was the child in question, two years old at the time. We were at the beach, where about two feet into the sea there's a shelf where it suddenly gets twice as deep. My parents were distracted by my brother, so didn't notice me wander into the surf. When they next looked up, all the could see was my hat away floating on the water. Panic set in, and my dad sprinted into the sea. Discovered that I was still wearing the hat, and was somehow floating completely vertical with just the hat showing above the water.
Turns out this is not that uncommon! Remember, when you're near a body of water, never stop watching the kids.
Debbie 2 years ago
You cant never stop... like you said yourself, distracted by your brother. Even if there are 10 adults watching 1 kid, they can all get distracted by something at the same time, and that kid then has an accident/wanders off. Being startled by a seagull makes you look around, stepping on a sharp seashell, picking up the toy the kid has dropped. It can be anything.
#18
I work from home. My son is usually with me while I work in the evening. One night I take a call, he was sitting on the floor next to me playing with his cars (he's three). The next minute, I look over and watching him as he is flying through the air next to me. He had climbed up on our table and just launched himself off! I always mute myself when I'm not speaking when he's home so thank god the customer didn't hear my OH MY GOD as i caught him lol
#19
So we took the kids (7, 3, 3 and 3) to a water park. One of us would stay in the kiddie area with 2 of the triplets and the other parent would take one of the 3 year olds and the 7 year old on a ride. It was working pretty well.
Note, the kiddie area was mostly contained, but there was no gate or anything. At one of the swaps, we blinked for a second and our adventurous 3 year old was gone. Instant oh f**k panic. Get security there, staff is looking, I'm running around looking.
Anyway, we eventually found him. He had ridden a waterslide with my wife earlier, and decided "That was fun, I'm gonna do it again" The 3 year old had gone back to get in line for the waterslide by himself, and they found him about 2 from the front of the line.
#20
My daughter said "Ouch" and was looking at her thumb. A few minutes later the same thing happened. That is when I realized she was trying to stick a paper clip in an electrical outlet.
Fortunately no harm. I think that was the last time she was allowed to go to work with daddy.
#21
I had taken my four year daughter into a public toilet in France, which was next to a main road. As we left, I let go of her hand for a split second as I looked away to close the door behind us. When I looked back she was running into the main road as she'd seen her Mum on the other side. From where I stood, my view of the road was obstructed so I couldn't see if any cars were coming, and she had gone too far for me to catch her. By a complete miracle, she got safely over the road. It sends shivers down my spine remembering the helpless terror I felt when I saw her in the middle of the road.
#22
When my daughter was little, probably about 3, she went with me to shop for some tools. I turned away to look at something and heard behind me "Daddy, what's this?" "Uh, honey, that's an axe. Please give it to me." She did, and all was well, but I'm glad my wife wasn't there--she would have panicked.
#23
My toddler at the time grabbed a stick of butter out of the fridge and tossed it into the fish tank. Minutes later all the fish were floating dead in the fish tank. Last time we owned fish
May 2 years ago
I've never owned fish, but how did cold butter kill them so quickly? Did they nibble it and instantly die from an allergic reaction?
Nupraptor 2 years ago
I'm not sure, as I've never before read about the interactions of butter in a fishtank. But tropical fish tanks have heated water, so the butter probably melted pretty fast and the oily substance killed the fish. I would think.
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olx 2 years ago
a boulabaise (don't come at me about spelling lol) perhaps?
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Cecily Holland 2 years ago
Weird. Must have melted and covered their gills thereby cutting off the oxygen
Ben Tinerino 2 years ago
When i was 4 or 5 i poured shampoo in my dads fishtank thinking i would give the fish a bath or something. I still feel bad to this day about killing all of his fish.
Kassy Newman 2 years ago
My 3 year old put Dawn dish soap in my saltwater tank while his Dad was supposed to be watching him. He wanted to help mom clean the tank. It was heartbreaking coming home from work to that.
L.a. Williams 2 years ago
My daughter was two I got her a couple of tetras one day things got quite ( parents beware of quite) I went to find her giving the fish a bath in the sink soap all over. She looked at me and said the fish was stinky. She didn't get any more until she was old enough to understand that fish only live in tanks still like to see her catch a fish out of 10 gallon fish tank
Maybe you know me maybe you donr 2 years ago
When I was a little kid like 3 or 4 I had fishes and I grabbed something that was plugged into a wall and threw it into the fishtank well all I have to say is those fishes in heaven lol
Jole Sankey 2 years ago
My mom left me unattended when I was 3 or 4. I took my dad's wire cutters and cut the wire to the fish tank. All of my dad's precious fish died.
Vincent Van Bro 2 years ago
That’s literally my stomach’s reaction to dairy but it’s so worth it gah
Virtually Fabulous 2 years ago
Any pandas with knowledge of how butter kills fish so quickly around here?
Gaby Almodovar 2 years ago
Butter+warm-enough-water = melted butter=oily surface on water = less to no oxigen = dead fish.
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Kimi Tomminello 2 years ago
I'm calling BS on this one. Your tank water is not going to melt a stick of butter in minutes and butter isn't going to do anything to fish in a couple minutes. Butter can be used as bait as can soap when fishing. Your fish died because you didn't take the time to figure out how to take care of them. I've been keeping/ raising and breeding fish for over 3 decades. Full stop.
Daniel Milum 2 years ago (edited)
Never quote how much 'expierence' you have. It's bad leadership. You are not immortal. And if you are right you pull open your Webster's biology manual and quote the chapter that covers how all fish can can happily coexist with butter. It's hard to be smart. It's easy to be a dumb loudmouth.
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#24
Went to pee , put my kiddos in there room with the door open and the gate up. I also had the bathroom door open...come out to find a dozen eggs cracked on the kitchen floor and into the butter and my youngest covered in peanut butter naked. My now ex husband was sleeping...I walked into our room woke him up and tagged out..my brain was fried at that point. To this day I have no clue how they escaped, they are 16&18 now.
#25
Woke up once and my two sons had climbed out of a window onto a flat roof. They were 1 and 3. I still don't know how they even got the window open.
M O'Connell 2 years ago
My parents were afraid of this happening and screwed blocks of wood to the window frames in my bedroom so the bottom sash could only open 3 inches.
#26
My daughter was 18 months old. Standing in between my husband and me in the kitchen, arm distance from both of us. She slipped, fell and broke two front teeth.
#27
Growing up we had a shed with our laundry room attached to our porch. My mom had me sitting on the floor of the porch playing with some toys (I was about 2), while she was doing laundry. I was just out of her eyeline for the time it takes to start a load of laundry, but by the time she turned around I had somehow managed to find a snake and had picked it up and was playing with it.
Emerald Ocean 2 years ago
When I was one I grabbed a yellow jacket and was playing with it. Got stung. Haven’t gotten stung since
#28
Telling it on my dad's behalf. On a fishing trip and I fell in a rapid while playing on the rocks. Never a strong swimmer, just kinda started my travel to the sea. He barely caught me by the arm.
#29
He was playing outside in the sand box just 10 feet from me. I had the window and door open and could hear him playing. Suddenly I was aware that he wasn't making any noise. I couldn't find him. I searched the yard, I asked strangers on the street and made a larger and larger circle and met my neighbors. 10 long minutes and he was nowhere. He had curled up in his stroller and was asleep.
ForgotMyPWSendHelp 2 years ago (edited)
I might get some flack for this, but I don't like the idea of letting a child small enough to still be in a stroller play outdoors in an open yard while the parent is indoors, even with a window and door open. If it's a fenced-in back yard, that seems fine. But kids can disappear in the blink of an eye, as this poster learned. They were lucky the kid didn't wander too far away or take off running into the street.
#30
I was sitting in a high chair, climbed out of it, onto the counter, and stole my mother’s coffee.
All she did was to put her shoes at the door, 3 feet away
What do you think ?
Annamagelic 2 years ago
Toddlers can be surprisingly fast when they want to, are exceptionally creative problem solvers, and have absolutely no sense of self preservation. I believe every one of these stories, and that the parents in question were all being reasonable, responsible people supervising their children as well as is humanly possible.
Rissie 2 years ago
I would not call it problem solving, chaotic creativity is more like it. I'm happy my oldest wasn't like that (sure he had some bumps and bruises but never the put a metal object in the socket kind of adventures) and the youngest was a little more spunky, but still well within manageable limits. Keeping him contained at playgrounds and at those indoor play areas was the best way to let all that energy out. I like to believe that providing ample other opportunities to let that out is the way to go. As in, if I couldn't take it anymore, which was pretty fast, I would go somewhere where they had fun and I had coffee. Yes. Great combo.
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Lord Mysticlaw 2 years ago
I need to go and hug my kid because apparently she was the most angelic toddler ever
ForgotMyPWSendHelp 2 years ago (edited)
Yeah, my girl is chatty and a little smarty pants who thinks she's grown when she's only 2-and-a-half, but thankfully the worst she's done so far is scribble on the wall.
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not your average weirdo 2 years ago
When I was like 7 my parents had left the room, so I grabbed a fistful of powdered sugar and tried to eat it. My parents came back into the room, asked me what I ate, and I started laughing. There was powdered sugar everywhere 😂
tuzdayschild 2 years ago
For about the first 5 years, nature has their brains locked on test and discovery mode. No reservations, no filters, just 'what does this do' and 'how does this taste'. You can't fight it.
Shelbi S 2 years ago
Thank you for reminding me that not having children is the best thing I could ever do for my mental health! LOL!
Pille P 2 years ago
As a baby/toddler I managed to pull a container full of permanent marker ink (soviet union, mom had to refill markers by soaking the felt innards in ink over night) from a window sill all over me right before we were supposed to go somewhere. My brand new clothes were for the dumpster and mom had to soak and scrub me for days. Luckily my face was clean so she had to put on new clothes and take me with her like I was. At about 3 I pulled soot out of the heating oven into moms freshly washed plates and crawled into the oven to sleep.
Who Panda 420 2 years ago
When my little brother was a baby he was sitting by the stove and my mom told him don't touch the burner it's hot. He decides to be tough and says it's not hot and goes to touch the burner the next thing we hear is his scream. Lesson learned. Also one day when I was watching him I turn my back for a moment and he had taken a stick of butter off the counter and smeared it all over the floor and the counters I don't know how he got it done so quick but it took forever to clean up the grease smears! That may be one reason I don't have children now. LOL I can love my friend's children and send them home at the end of the day
John Smith 2 years ago
Best sort of kids, someone elses. Much more fun to be the uncle that buys them the drum set, than the parent that has to explain why they can't play it at 3am. :)
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NIKKI ADDO 2 years ago
My parents lost me at the zoo when I was a toddler and found me sleeping with the sheep in the petting zoo. It’s still one of my favorite stories and my parents always tell it like that was when they knew I would be a HUGE animal lover.
Shanique Gordon 2 years ago
I was at a toddler pool party with my husband. The pool was big but it was a blow up pool on the porch. My son was 2 at the time There were several older children in the pool so I put him in a float. There were adults all sitting to the side of the pool. My husband and I were also pretty close we could see the pool and our son clearly. But I was eating a patty n it was really hot, n was trying to break off a piece to give my husband who at this time was watching me break it. Just looked down a couple seconds. When I looked up I didn't see my son. The other children were blocking him. Then I saw his feet in the air. I ran as fast as I could to get my son, who was still in his float. By this time another adult saw me running and assisted me to pull him out. It seemed he got knocked over in the float n was upside down in a pool pull of children n surrounded by adults n noone saw my son. It was really really scary.
De Burke 2 years ago
Those floats are insanely dangerous because of this. Jackets are a much better option.
Load More Replies... C 2 years ago
When my kid was 11 months old there was one morning I wasn't feeling so great, and had just cleaned up a puddle of cat puke which made me feel even more nauseous. Went into the kid's playroom and lay down on the couch. Kid's on the floor right next to the couch, got plenty of toys, he's fine for a bit. Lay back for, no joke, 30 seconds tops, didn't even close my eyes. Look down at my kid. He's COVERED in poop. It's everywhere. All over his clothes, his toys, the floor, the wall, his hands, his face, he's shoveling it into his mouth, and when he sees me looking at him he breaks into a literal $h!t-eating grin and reaches out for me. All I could do was stare, jaw dropped, and yell for my husband. Sure didn't help my upset stomach feel any better, that's for sure :D
Rissie 2 years ago
Poop? In their mouth... If it was a puppy I would advice you to feed it pineapple. Yes that works. For puppies. Not sure about small humans.
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GoodWolf 2 years ago
When my cousin was 2, he wandered off to the main road to look at cars when my aunt was turning her back for a second. This was back in the DDR. There were tanks on that road. Luckily, some neighbor found him and brought him back safely. Also, when I was 14 I was supposed to watch my baby sister. Went to the bathroom, came back to find her sitting amidst the shards of a broken bottle in a puddle of olive oil in the kitchen. She was unharmed, thankfully.
SilentBob731 2 years ago
Ah, chilluns. They're vicious little animals but their coats are worth a fortune. ;-)
Nanette Pacelli 2 years ago (edited)
I put my kids down for a nap 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 year old and decided to take a nap myself. My then husband came home and shook me awake screaming where are the kids? I said they're in their room for a nap. He said they weren't. My daughter managed to open the back door and took her brother for a walk. I found them a block over. They couldn't have been gone very long because a woman was asking my daughter where mommy and daddy were as I came running up. I had never been so scared in my life. we lived in a small town in Kentucky at the time, very rural.
MikeWheelerFan 2 years ago
When I was maybe 7 my mom went to walk the dog. She asked if I wanted to stay inside or go with her. I chose to stay inside. Well like 5 minutes later I decide to come outside, and I guessed that she had gone a different way than she did. The whole neighborhood was looking for me by the time I got back, completely oblivious as to what I caused.
Oana-Mihaela Rizea 2 years ago
When i was about 4 I went into the bathroom and locked myself in. The rule in my house was that only the adults are able to use the lock on the door not the kids, but I was feeling like I could achieve that level of greatness as well so I got up on a stool turned to lock on. My mum and dad were used to me staying in the bedroom and listening to my disney story cassettes so no one batted an eye for about an hour. I decided that it was enough and wanted to get out of the bathroom. Got up on the same stool and tried to put the lock off but it turns out I needed more power for that and tried for a good 15 minutes. I started crying hysterically seeing myself trapped in the bathroom . The lock couldn`t be open from the outside so all I could hear is my mum crying that her child was trapped in the bathroom while my father was trying to get the door open. He ended up needing to break the window that was on the door to be able to open it. Went out like nothing happened and got myself a snack.
Lovin' Life 2 years ago
Children can shave years off your life in a matter of seconds. Maybe that's why my hair turned completely gray while in my 20s. My daughters shared a room with 2 twin beds. I had sent them to bed but had to go and quieten them several times. Youngest got up to go to the bathroom. She comes out of her room afterwards screaming that my older was gone. I looked at her bed , outside, and everywhere. Called the police and they came and began searching. She was in her bed, sound asleep. She was thin so you couldn't see her the way the blankets were covering her. I was embarrassed but more relieved than anything!
Denise .Russell 2 years ago
From what I was told: about 2 years old, mom comes in to do her nightly check and notices the crib is empty. She starts panicking and starts looking around for me be spying movement out of the corner of her eye and up. She turns and low and behold, there I am with pillow and blankie atop this 8 foot tall bookcase sound asleep. I had undone my cribs gate, crawled out, pulled the shelves of the bookcase out and climbed up it to the top to sleep. Course even at an earlier age, I knew how to take my own crib apart as well as taking outlet covers off by watching my dad use a screwdriver.
Red 2 years ago
I was one of those quiet and creative kids and my mom has a ton of those stories. I don't remember this, but I was maybe 3, it was winter, when a neighbor kid broke his leg. I was fascinated by the cast. So, later my grandma gives my mom a humongous tube of white toothpaste and my mom said something like it's too big, it's going to harden up. We all went to bed, and I quietly got up found the toothpaste and covered my legs up with it, making a cast like the kid had. Went back to our room to show it to my mom. She says she started nervous laughing, woke my grandma up and took me to the shower to wash up with warm water because it was winter and I covered myself with minty toothpaste. She puts me back to bed, I lift my shirt and behold, my whole torso has toothpaste, bellybutton is nowhere to be found, completely filled up. So there we go again, at this point she decided to give me a bath, cleaned my bellybutton with q tips, tucked me in again and kept watch. 😅
Jacob Nunez 2 years ago
When i was like seven or six I remember going to the bathroom and grabbing my mothers razor to rub my fingers on it. I cut myself. Woke my mom up and showed her the cut. She put a bandaid and went back to sleep. I went back into the bathroom. And cut myself again.
Stephanie Cunningham 2 years ago
My mom and I were putting away groceries when my baby sister was 2 or 3. After about five minutes, we noticed she wasn't in the kitchen with us, and Mom sent me to check on her. I found her, standing on the bathroom sink, with one of her dad's razors in her hand and little cuts all over her face. When I asked what she was doing, she said, "shabing my pace."
Susan Bosse 2 years ago
When my sister (43 now) was about 2 (I was 11), we lost her in the mall. Looking everywhere. Mom is ready to call the cops. We hear "9 to 5" playing from a dress shop. There she was. Singing and dancing to a CROWD of people. Relief and anger flooded me and my mom. She's been there for a while. I guess it never dawned on a single person to call mall security about a lone 2 year old little girl. We just laughed at this story over Christmas.
Rissie 2 years ago
They probably all thought mom was there enjoying it too.
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Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
At Christmas lunch my nephew stole and unwrapped his dad's chocolate and ate about half of it, while there were five adults right there at the table with him. Nobody noticed (not even his dad, whose lap he was sitting on) until he started throwing a fit because it was dark chocolate and he didn't like the taste! They really are insanely fast and stealthy.
Yvette Shore 2 years ago
I remember putting my two tinies in their restraints on the back seat of the car and placing my full bag of groceries between them. They were unusually quiet as we drove home. When we stopped at some traffic lights, I turned around. Great big grins and an almost empty grocery bag. They had been dropping items out the half open car windows for the last fifteen minutes!
Brenden Kaye Fisher 2 years ago (edited)
When I was almost 2, I managed to scale a wall onto the master bathroom vanity. My mom, alerted by our dog that something was amiss during nap time, found me munching on iron supplement pills. Turns out they looked like my Flintstone vitamins. Poison control said go to ER ASAP. At the hospital on base (USAF) the Pediatric Flight Surgeon wanted to start two IVS for medication to counteract the iron. When the nurses came in to set it up, they took one look at me ( I was happily playing with toys on bed) and told my mom they would have to figure out a different way to administer the medicine. When my mom asked why they said “Ma’am, the IVs need to go into her neck, but we cannot even see it.” I was a butterball of a baby with rolls for days. While the doc and nurses were looking for alternatives, dad shows up after scouring the bathroom. He accounted for all the pills except one. I was observed overnight and released. No IVs administered. Took my mom awhile to let me nap alone in my room after that.
Janice Adya 2 years ago
My neighbor lived across the road with her 3 young children, the youngest being a son, who was about 18 months old. One day I was in my basement, and I heard my dogs going crazy barking upstairs, so I assumed they saw a squirrel out the slider door, because that would make them go nutty like that. The barking became more intense, so I went upstairs to check, and there in my dining room was little Denny, looking calm and unfazed, excited to see my dogs. We lived in the country, but this was a paved road, with traffic going typically 55+ miles per hour. I didn't want to startle him with my absolute fear and shock, so I just said, "Hi, let's go see Momma," and proceeded to take him back over. She was hysterically running out of her house. She was in tears and so scared. She had left him for a moment with his older sisters watching a movie, and when she came out of the bathroom, she asked them where their brother was and the were so engrossed in the movie, they didn't even answer. Yikes.
John Smith 2 years ago
I am pretty sure that up to a certain age. Children are capable of becoming almost liquid and pour though gaps. My brother (@ 2 yo) managed to get through a hole that didn't look big enough for his head to go through. Repeatedly. We even found him in the basement once, he disappeared and managed to some how get into the basement. To this day we don't know how he did it.
Olivia Johnson 2 years ago
When I was two or three my mom left me in a room to play while she cooked dinner. She said it got too quiet so she went to go looking for me... she found me. She said I looked funny but couldn't figure out what it was exactly that's when my 7 year old sister yelled... "SHE HAS NO EYEBROWS!" 👀. I had seen my mom shape her eyebrows with a razor and decided that might be a good idea! I shaved them clean off. I'm glad they grew back LOL. 😂
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
I think a lot of these parents looked away for a lot more than "one second."
Gay Williamson 2 years ago
This brings back so much trauma! My then 3 year old middle had just been dispatched from the tub while I dried off the 1 year old. He disappeared for an hour, completely naked. The entire neighborhood was searching for him, his 5 year old brother was traumatized for years, constantly needing to know where he was. He'd fallen asleep under a pile of clothes in the laundry room and only awakened after I dropped the lid to the washer and yelled his name for what was probably the hundredth time.
Lightningstar 2 years ago
my then 2-year-old cousin (who can't swim) has jumped into the pool when i was turned around for at most 5 seconds and everyone else was inside. this happened at least twice in a month.
Annamagelic 2 years ago
Toddlers can be surprisingly fast when they want to, are exceptionally creative problem solvers, and have absolutely no sense of self preservation. I believe every one of these stories, and that the parents in question were all being reasonable, responsible people supervising their children as well as is humanly possible.
Rissie 2 years ago
I would not call it problem solving, chaotic creativity is more like it. I'm happy my oldest wasn't like that (sure he had some bumps and bruises but never the put a metal object in the socket kind of adventures) and the youngest was a little more spunky, but still well within manageable limits. Keeping him contained at playgrounds and at those indoor play areas was the best way to let all that energy out. I like to believe that providing ample other opportunities to let that out is the way to go. As in, if I couldn't take it anymore, which was pretty fast, I would go somewhere where they had fun and I had coffee. Yes. Great combo.
Load More Replies... Lord Mysticlaw 2 years ago
I need to go and hug my kid because apparently she was the most angelic toddler ever
ForgotMyPWSendHelp 2 years ago (edited)
Yeah, my girl is chatty and a little smarty pants who thinks she's grown when she's only 2-and-a-half, but thankfully the worst she's done so far is scribble on the wall.
Load More Replies... not your average weirdo 2 years ago
When I was like 7 my parents had left the room, so I grabbed a fistful of powdered sugar and tried to eat it. My parents came back into the room, asked me what I ate, and I started laughing. There was powdered sugar everywhere 😂
tuzdayschild 2 years ago
For about the first 5 years, nature has their brains locked on test and discovery mode. No reservations, no filters, just 'what does this do' and 'how does this taste'. You can't fight it.
Shelbi S 2 years ago
Thank you for reminding me that not having children is the best thing I could ever do for my mental health! LOL!
Pille P 2 years ago
As a baby/toddler I managed to pull a container full of permanent marker ink (soviet union, mom had to refill markers by soaking the felt innards in ink over night) from a window sill all over me right before we were supposed to go somewhere. My brand new clothes were for the dumpster and mom had to soak and scrub me for days. Luckily my face was clean so she had to put on new clothes and take me with her like I was. At about 3 I pulled soot out of the heating oven into moms freshly washed plates and crawled into the oven to sleep.
Who Panda 420 2 years ago
When my little brother was a baby he was sitting by the stove and my mom told him don't touch the burner it's hot. He decides to be tough and says it's not hot and goes to touch the burner the next thing we hear is his scream. Lesson learned. Also one day when I was watching him I turn my back for a moment and he had taken a stick of butter off the counter and smeared it all over the floor and the counters I don't know how he got it done so quick but it took forever to clean up the grease smears! That may be one reason I don't have children now. LOL I can love my friend's children and send them home at the end of the day
John Smith 2 years ago
Best sort of kids, someone elses. Much more fun to be the uncle that buys them the drum set, than the parent that has to explain why they can't play it at 3am. :)
Load More Replies... NIKKI ADDO 2 years ago
My parents lost me at the zoo when I was a toddler and found me sleeping with the sheep in the petting zoo. It’s still one of my favorite stories and my parents always tell it like that was when they knew I would be a HUGE animal lover.
Shanique Gordon 2 years ago
I was at a toddler pool party with my husband. The pool was big but it was a blow up pool on the porch. My son was 2 at the time There were several older children in the pool so I put him in a float. There were adults all sitting to the side of the pool. My husband and I were also pretty close we could see the pool and our son clearly. But I was eating a patty n it was really hot, n was trying to break off a piece to give my husband who at this time was watching me break it. Just looked down a couple seconds. When I looked up I didn't see my son. The other children were blocking him. Then I saw his feet in the air. I ran as fast as I could to get my son, who was still in his float. By this time another adult saw me running and assisted me to pull him out. It seemed he got knocked over in the float n was upside down in a pool pull of children n surrounded by adults n noone saw my son. It was really really scary.
De Burke 2 years ago
Those floats are insanely dangerous because of this. Jackets are a much better option.
Load More Replies... C 2 years ago
When my kid was 11 months old there was one morning I wasn't feeling so great, and had just cleaned up a puddle of cat puke which made me feel even more nauseous. Went into the kid's playroom and lay down on the couch. Kid's on the floor right next to the couch, got plenty of toys, he's fine for a bit. Lay back for, no joke, 30 seconds tops, didn't even close my eyes. Look down at my kid. He's COVERED in poop. It's everywhere. All over his clothes, his toys, the floor, the wall, his hands, his face, he's shoveling it into his mouth, and when he sees me looking at him he breaks into a literal $h!t-eating grin and reaches out for me. All I could do was stare, jaw dropped, and yell for my husband. Sure didn't help my upset stomach feel any better, that's for sure :D
Rissie 2 years ago
Poop? In their mouth... If it was a puppy I would advice you to feed it pineapple. Yes that works. For puppies. Not sure about small humans.
Load More Replies... GoodWolf 2 years ago
When my cousin was 2, he wandered off to the main road to look at cars when my aunt was turning her back for a second. This was back in the DDR. There were tanks on that road. Luckily, some neighbor found him and brought him back safely. Also, when I was 14 I was supposed to watch my baby sister. Went to the bathroom, came back to find her sitting amidst the shards of a broken bottle in a puddle of olive oil in the kitchen. She was unharmed, thankfully.
SilentBob731 2 years ago
Ah, chilluns. They're vicious little animals but their coats are worth a fortune. ;-)
Nanette Pacelli 2 years ago (edited)
I put my kids down for a nap 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 year old and decided to take a nap myself. My then husband came home and shook me awake screaming where are the kids? I said they're in their room for a nap. He said they weren't. My daughter managed to open the back door and took her brother for a walk. I found them a block over. They couldn't have been gone very long because a woman was asking my daughter where mommy and daddy were as I came running up. I had never been so scared in my life. we lived in a small town in Kentucky at the time, very rural.
MikeWheelerFan 2 years ago
When I was maybe 7 my mom went to walk the dog. She asked if I wanted to stay inside or go with her. I chose to stay inside. Well like 5 minutes later I decide to come outside, and I guessed that she had gone a different way than she did. The whole neighborhood was looking for me by the time I got back, completely oblivious as to what I caused.
Oana-Mihaela Rizea 2 years ago
When i was about 4 I went into the bathroom and locked myself in. The rule in my house was that only the adults are able to use the lock on the door not the kids, but I was feeling like I could achieve that level of greatness as well so I got up on a stool turned to lock on. My mum and dad were used to me staying in the bedroom and listening to my disney story cassettes so no one batted an eye for about an hour. I decided that it was enough and wanted to get out of the bathroom. Got up on the same stool and tried to put the lock off but it turns out I needed more power for that and tried for a good 15 minutes. I started crying hysterically seeing myself trapped in the bathroom . The lock couldn`t be open from the outside so all I could hear is my mum crying that her child was trapped in the bathroom while my father was trying to get the door open. He ended up needing to break the window that was on the door to be able to open it. Went out like nothing happened and got myself a snack.
Lovin' Life 2 years ago
Children can shave years off your life in a matter of seconds. Maybe that's why my hair turned completely gray while in my 20s. My daughters shared a room with 2 twin beds. I had sent them to bed but had to go and quieten them several times. Youngest got up to go to the bathroom. She comes out of her room afterwards screaming that my older was gone. I looked at her bed , outside, and everywhere. Called the police and they came and began searching. She was in her bed, sound asleep. She was thin so you couldn't see her the way the blankets were covering her. I was embarrassed but more relieved than anything!
Denise .Russell 2 years ago
From what I was told: about 2 years old, mom comes in to do her nightly check and notices the crib is empty. She starts panicking and starts looking around for me be spying movement out of the corner of her eye and up. She turns and low and behold, there I am with pillow and blankie atop this 8 foot tall bookcase sound asleep. I had undone my cribs gate, crawled out, pulled the shelves of the bookcase out and climbed up it to the top to sleep. Course even at an earlier age, I knew how to take my own crib apart as well as taking outlet covers off by watching my dad use a screwdriver.
Red 2 years ago
I was one of those quiet and creative kids and my mom has a ton of those stories. I don't remember this, but I was maybe 3, it was winter, when a neighbor kid broke his leg. I was fascinated by the cast. So, later my grandma gives my mom a humongous tube of white toothpaste and my mom said something like it's too big, it's going to harden up. We all went to bed, and I quietly got up found the toothpaste and covered my legs up with it, making a cast like the kid had. Went back to our room to show it to my mom. She says she started nervous laughing, woke my grandma up and took me to the shower to wash up with warm water because it was winter and I covered myself with minty toothpaste. She puts me back to bed, I lift my shirt and behold, my whole torso has toothpaste, bellybutton is nowhere to be found, completely filled up. So there we go again, at this point she decided to give me a bath, cleaned my bellybutton with q tips, tucked me in again and kept watch. 😅
Jacob Nunez 2 years ago
When i was like seven or six I remember going to the bathroom and grabbing my mothers razor to rub my fingers on it. I cut myself. Woke my mom up and showed her the cut. She put a bandaid and went back to sleep. I went back into the bathroom. And cut myself again.
Stephanie Cunningham 2 years ago
My mom and I were putting away groceries when my baby sister was 2 or 3. After about five minutes, we noticed she wasn't in the kitchen with us, and Mom sent me to check on her. I found her, standing on the bathroom sink, with one of her dad's razors in her hand and little cuts all over her face. When I asked what she was doing, she said, "shabing my pace."
Susan Bosse 2 years ago
When my sister (43 now) was about 2 (I was 11), we lost her in the mall. Looking everywhere. Mom is ready to call the cops. We hear "9 to 5" playing from a dress shop. There she was. Singing and dancing to a CROWD of people. Relief and anger flooded me and my mom. She's been there for a while. I guess it never dawned on a single person to call mall security about a lone 2 year old little girl. We just laughed at this story over Christmas.
Rissie 2 years ago
They probably all thought mom was there enjoying it too.
Load More Replies... Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
At Christmas lunch my nephew stole and unwrapped his dad's chocolate and ate about half of it, while there were five adults right there at the table with him. Nobody noticed (not even his dad, whose lap he was sitting on) until he started throwing a fit because it was dark chocolate and he didn't like the taste! They really are insanely fast and stealthy.
Yvette Shore 2 years ago
I remember putting my two tinies in their restraints on the back seat of the car and placing my full bag of groceries between them. They were unusually quiet as we drove home. When we stopped at some traffic lights, I turned around. Great big grins and an almost empty grocery bag. They had been dropping items out the half open car windows for the last fifteen minutes!
Brenden Kaye Fisher 2 years ago (edited)
When I was almost 2, I managed to scale a wall onto the master bathroom vanity. My mom, alerted by our dog that something was amiss during nap time, found me munching on iron supplement pills. Turns out they looked like my Flintstone vitamins. Poison control said go to ER ASAP. At the hospital on base (USAF) the Pediatric Flight Surgeon wanted to start two IVS for medication to counteract the iron. When the nurses came in to set it up, they took one look at me ( I was happily playing with toys on bed) and told my mom they would have to figure out a different way to administer the medicine. When my mom asked why they said “Ma’am, the IVs need to go into her neck, but we cannot even see it.” I was a butterball of a baby with rolls for days. While the doc and nurses were looking for alternatives, dad shows up after scouring the bathroom. He accounted for all the pills except one. I was observed overnight and released. No IVs administered. Took my mom awhile to let me nap alone in my room after that.
Janice Adya 2 years ago
My neighbor lived across the road with her 3 young children, the youngest being a son, who was about 18 months old. One day I was in my basement, and I heard my dogs going crazy barking upstairs, so I assumed they saw a squirrel out the slider door, because that would make them go nutty like that. The barking became more intense, so I went upstairs to check, and there in my dining room was little Denny, looking calm and unfazed, excited to see my dogs. We lived in the country, but this was a paved road, with traffic going typically 55+ miles per hour. I didn't want to startle him with my absolute fear and shock, so I just said, "Hi, let's go see Momma," and proceeded to take him back over. She was hysterically running out of her house. She was in tears and so scared. She had left him for a moment with his older sisters watching a movie, and when she came out of the bathroom, she asked them where their brother was and the were so engrossed in the movie, they didn't even answer. Yikes.
John Smith 2 years ago
I am pretty sure that up to a certain age. Children are capable of becoming almost liquid and pour though gaps. My brother (@ 2 yo) managed to get through a hole that didn't look big enough for his head to go through. Repeatedly. We even found him in the basement once, he disappeared and managed to some how get into the basement. To this day we don't know how he did it.
Olivia Johnson 2 years ago
When I was two or three my mom left me in a room to play while she cooked dinner. She said it got too quiet so she went to go looking for me... she found me. She said I looked funny but couldn't figure out what it was exactly that's when my 7 year old sister yelled... "SHE HAS NO EYEBROWS!" 👀. I had seen my mom shape her eyebrows with a razor and decided that might be a good idea! I shaved them clean off. I'm glad they grew back LOL. 😂
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
I think a lot of these parents looked away for a lot more than "one second."
Gay Williamson 2 years ago
This brings back so much trauma! My then 3 year old middle had just been dispatched from the tub while I dried off the 1 year old. He disappeared for an hour, completely naked. The entire neighborhood was searching for him, his 5 year old brother was traumatized for years, constantly needing to know where he was. He'd fallen asleep under a pile of clothes in the laundry room and only awakened after I dropped the lid to the washer and yelled his name for what was probably the hundredth time.
Lightningstar 2 years ago
my then 2-year-old cousin (who can't swim) has jumped into the pool when i was turned around for at most 5 seconds and everyone else was inside. this happened at least twice in a month.
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