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A canon event is a transformative moment that redefines you as a person. It can range from heartbreak to triumph—the loss of a loved one, a promise to get sober, or landing a dream job. Reddit user MisterBigDude asked the platform to share what divided their lives into a clear "before" and "after."
The answers painted a vivid spectrum of human experience, showing that we're both similar and different, each on our own path. We never truly know what lies ahead and must keep learning and striving. It sounds banal, but what is there to guide us through the ups and downs if not perseverance?
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#1
Death of my 8.5 month pregnant wife and unborn child just two months ago. We were inseparable from when she was 18 until she passed at 33. Life changed a full 180 degrees.
Edit: Wow. The support on the internet can be beautiful sometimes. Thank you all so much ❤️❤️ To answer a few of the questions, we did two rounds of IVF, and it took three years for it to finally be “successful.” Her pregnancy was extremely rough, as there was rarely a day where she wasn’t sick but we were both so excited since we knew it would be worth it. Fast forward to October 2024, she is having bad stomach pains so we went to the ER. Almost immediately, they told us the three words that will haunt me forever - “There’s no heartbeat.” Tragically, this was the last thing my wife heard before she had to be intubated. And so, the nightmare began. She fought for 5 days, with family by her side. She ultimately passed from Sepsis, pancreatitis, leg infections, and finally full organ failure. She was an organ donor, but nothing could be saved.
Her funeral was beautiful, but it was obviously a near impossible day. The community all came together and supported me more than I could have imagined, and I’ll forever be grateful for that.
If you take anything from my story, please just pamper your wives, and hold your little ones extra tight.
Thank you all again, truly.
angelmomoffour62 19 hours ago
My heart hurts for you. I know what it's like to lose a spouse and child. I am sorry...
RELATED:
#2
The unfortunate ending to our first pregnancy a few years into marriage, around 5 months, after we’d excitedly announced it to everyone, we learned fetus was dead and breaking apart inside me, but there was no amniotic fluid and it wasn’t coming out on its own.
It seemed like no choice at all, to live or die, but that choice to live made me the enemy of 1/3 of my country who passionately votes to k**l me and any woman in that situation.
And now women are dying because of the way they vote, women who are in the same situation that I was, and they could not be more delighted, it’s exactly what they always wanted, and it’s hard to live knowing that.
When I tell my story, “conservatives” (the right wing in my country,) call me a baby-k**ler, they have for over a decade now, they don’t draw any distinction and can’t tell the difference. They are mad that I didn’t die, they didn’t change the law fast enough to k**l me.
I view all of them so differently now, 1/3 of the population can’t be trusted, they are bloodthirsty monsters, they don’t care how many of us die, they will never change how they vote.
HangryHangryHippo 16 hours ago
Atrocious that besides her coping with her miscarriage she has to carry with the judgement of those brainless and heartless monsters 🤬. That legislation is not "pro life", women are effiing dying!!!
#3
Sobriety at age thirty-two. I turn seventy-two in two months.
#4
Having a traumatic brain injury (TBI). One moment I was me, then suddenly, was robbed of my own soul. Ruined my hopes, dreams, and motivation at age 26 in a mountain biking accident. 43, alone, and miserable now. Wear your helmets, though, folks. I'd be a complete vegetable had I not.
#5
Living what I thought was a great existence. Happily settled, steady jobs, good friends. Savings. Decent cars. Wonderful son, and another on the way. A week away from getting married. All the families are happy.
Found out my partner had been cheating on me for years with multiple women (his job as a police officer allowed ample opportunity for f*****g badge bangers and for believable overtime).
Single mum life. Moved over 1000km away to go back to my parents. Living on welfare. No savings. A car issue/pet issue/health issue away from total disaster. No sleep. Not many friends. No job. Raised the newborn on my own.
Scary how life can totally upend in a morning.
#6
The unexpected death of my daughter-in-law in January. She was just 40 years old. I had gone to bed sick that night and had turned off my ringer and alerts, so I missed the call from my son at the hospital. He had to walk home in the dark alone after she died in front of him. I'll never forgive myself for not being there for him or for her when she was in the hospital.
#7
9/11/01. I was supposed to have been in the North Tower that morning. My 17 colleagues all died. Biz mtg was cancelled the night before, inexplicably.... .
#8
Before bariatric surgery i was almost 400lbs and in constant pain from my spinal arthritis. Couldn't walk more than a few feet before I started hurting. After bariatric surgery (and some physical therapy) im now 170ish and im still in constant pain from my spinal arthritis but its significantly less than before and takes a lot longer to build up to intolerable levels. I have a full time job again and i go hiking now.
#9
I have two events really, but I’ll just mention the big one.
In junior year of college, when I was 20/21, I developed very unusual symptoms of insomnia, intense muscle soreness, slow movement, and a shaking right hand. After months of seeing different specialists, testing different medications to see if they helped, and finally a lumbar puncture, I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease.
This fundamentally changed my life moving forward. I finished college and went to grad school immediately afterwards, but the fallout of the emotions and intense feelings of isolation caused me to leave. I later worked as a research tech for 4 years, and finished my PhD last year after 5.5 years of doing grad school again. I achieved that goal.
It’s been almost 13 years now, and I can’t say that any day since I started showing symptoms has been a “good” one compared to before. I have to deliberately move my feet and hands so as to not drag them, trip, or drop or spill something. I’ve gotten very good at it, but it’s exhausting. Everything is day-to-day. It’s also psychologically isolating, since almost nobody can truly understand or relate, while it’s also ended relationships when I told them about it.
But I try to keep positive, and look forward to something better coming in life.
Lyone Fein 17 hours ago
Having a physical disability that ages you prematurely is emotionally and psychologically debilitating, in addition to all of the exhaustion involved. I empathize with you.
#10
My parents are wealthy boomers.
I had just had my first son, was working long hours at a car dealership and my wife was working as well. My parents never gave me anything. We had incurred some credit card debt, about 3k that was destroying me, I hated owing money. I asked my dad for some help (drop in the well for them) and he coldly said “no” and basically said figure it out. Over a couple years the debt increased because we were trying to survive.
I took a job across the country, pulled my family out of everything and we are thriving. All without their help.
They always quip that they never get to see their grand kids, well, sorry about it.
Steve Sharpe 17 hours ago
No one knows who my father was, there were once some records of who gave birth to me but I never took any interest and they're long since lost to the sands of time - which I'm perfectly comfortable with. No one has any obligation to give you anything in life, no one owes you anything, no matter how entitled you feel you are to their time, possessions, or money - just the same as you're not obliged to allow people to spend time with your children. These things really aren't a big deal, it's just how life goes.
#11
Life turned upside down 5 years ago. Sudden health challenge almost took my life, had me in ICU for 3 weeks, in hospital for 2 months, and out of work for almost a year. 6 weeks after returning to work, covid hit, my family was among the first to have it in my area. Luckily came through OK, but wife had it pretty bad. As life was returning to normal a year later, my kids’ high school was the site of a mass shooting - 4 of their friends k**led that day.
I often question if my near death experience 5 years ago really resulted in my death, and I’m living in some alternate reality.
Life is precious - live each day you have to the fullest.
cerinamroth 18 hours ago
I nearly died when I was 10 and my hold on life has felt so tenuous since then that I‘ve often wondered the same thing.
#12
Getting treatment for my ADHD. My life took a whole 180 after getting on Adderall. Went from dead end job to being successful.
#13
We'll have to see, but it might well be this semester's papers turned in by students. I teach writing at the university level, and the papers were SO awful and so many students SO apathetic that I just can't even imagine doing this job anymore.
I can point to one single paper that broke me.
I actually had a real breakdown and spent last week in a crisis stabilization unit. It is TERRIFYING to watch education ebb like this, and to see students not participating in their own lives. I do not expect people to love writing, but at least be *present* in your own head! The entire system is dumbing down, which means that the American people are dumbing down too.
CanadianDimes 18 hours ago
As someone who who teaches in HE, society has really fũcked up by making a university education the default for what comes next after high school. It’s not for everyone and I don’t mean it shouldn’t be accessible for anyone who wants a university education (it should be, including financially accessible). Too many young people go without really wanting to or without being ready for it yet. Other options, such as trade schools or apprenticeships are considered less prestigious, which is stupid and short-sighted.
#14
My son developing a terminal disease that we had no idea about.
He just turned 3, but the last year and a half has been a ride we never knew we would be on. Up until almost 2, he developed normally and was just the happiest little boy. In early 2021, he was diagnosed with a rare terminal genetic disease called Krabbe Disease after losing all of his abilities like walking, crawling, and even sitting up on his own in a matter of weeks out of nowhere. We ended up at the children's hospital of Pittsburgh to try to get him a stem cell transplant to prolong his life. They told us that without it, he would pass away by the end of the year, but if he got it, he may never be able to move or possibly even breathe on his own. That was the most stressful 24 hours of my life. He has gotten the transplant, can still somewhat move his arms and legs, and has the greatest smile you'll ever see, and he knows he is loved so much. We tried to get him in a gene therapy clinical trial, but he had an antibody that excluded him. Now, we are just hoping for a miracle to happen.
He has a page called Prayers for Arthur, hope for a cure that we use to spread awareness and celebrate his life ♥️.
Steve Sharpe 18 hours ago
I'm not exactly the sensitive of fragile type to put it mildy - but even I need a minute after reading this one. How do you.. your kids, and they're really little, how d... f**k. That's ju.. f**k.
#15
Starting at a alternative high school a month into my freshman year. It was a therapy intensive school and I’m telling you I’d be in JAIL if I hadn’t gone there. They saved my life.
#16
My best friend taking their life.
We were both 17 when he decided that he had enough of life. I spoke to him the day prior while my family and I were on a road trip to see him and other family. He came from the foster care system, and knew that when he turned 18 the next month, he would be homeless. What he didn't know, and something that still haunts me, was part of the reason we we're coming to visit was because my parents wanted to adopt him... I didn't tell him on that phone call, because I wanted to surprise him.
He took his life the next day, early in the morning. We arrived at 11:43am.. we saw the police and mortician at his foster moms home. She told us what happened. They didn't let me see him.
That was 14 years ago. I still wonder if things would've been different, if I would've just told him that we wanted him to be part of our family.
Ever since then, while I have many friends, I have never had a best friend again.
That was the day that I lost my rose colored glasses.
Michelle C 11 hours ago
On the off-chance you read this, it’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known and I’m so sorry to read of your loss.
#17
Getting hit by a car.
Woke up in the hospital a month later with casts on my legs, many fractures, and a damaged brain. Spent most of a year in a brain injury rehab hospital, fortunately recovered well, and returned to my life.
Though it was a bit different.
That was almost 18 years ago. So far, so good.
DennyS (denzoren) 17 hours ago
Damn, i can't imagine what that would have been like to wake up too.
#19
Lots of them but covid is the biggest. Before covid, my commute to work was over an hour. Now i work from home.
HangryHangryHippo 16 hours ago
COVID brought a lot of bad things. But also demonstrated that are jobs that can be done perfectly WFH. I tried for years to make a case about that to my bosses (great people BTW, but I've been by their side since day one and took care of a lot of different jobs) but no dice. Suddenly COVID hit and was no other way forward than WFH. And the company survived thanks to it.
#20
Our daughter died, which brought about the death of my husband. I sold our house and moved back to my home city. It's hard being a widow, but I have her Chiweenie, who's the biggest lovebug ever.
#21
Senior year of high school.
Nobody cares about what happened to me, but I will be brief and say it dramatically scarred me. I have not been the same man since, I have not forgiven the perpetrators, and I will definitely say that it is the “before” and “after” Time of my life, between being happy and be miserable.
#22
I used to think it was the death of my father when I was 11, but now it’s the death of my brother when I was 36.
Losing a sibling is surreal because you realize that they are like an external hard drive of your childhood. They were the only one that would have remembered this or that, or could correct the story, or topped it with something even crazier that you both shared. Losing them is like a compartmentalized, instant onset Alzheimer’s where some of your most cherished memories get wiped from the earth, never to return.
If your collected memories are all that you truly are, then I simply cannot claim to be the same person after his death.
Smeghead Tribble Down Under 18 hours ago
That's a really beautiful way to describe a sibling. I wish mine was more like that. He claims to remember nothing about when I was born even though he was 9.5 at the time. He wanted a brother, not a sister, so he sort of ignored me :/
#23
The Navy. I was 19 and a dumb when I joined. I was 40 and a different kind of dumb when I left.
#24
My second marriage. It was like I had been sleepwalking for 50 years until I met my wife. I can't imagine life without her.
Edit: I'd like to thank everyone for your comments. I showed them to my wife, and she was very moved. She said that I am the most precious thing she has in her life, and now I'm crying. ❤️.
#25
When my life completely imploded and in the span of 3 months I went from married with a cool job to separated, jobless, homeless, with skin cancer. Everything changed and I’m NOT that guy I was before that time.
#26
Death of my dog.
Lorraine Woollands 14 hours ago (edited)
I have lost five dogs over the year, each hurt like hell and still cry for all of them
#27
Carjacked at gunpoint - within six months I left my dead end job and got out of a loveless marriage. Life's too short.
HangryHangryHippo 16 hours ago
Glad to hear that OP was able to flip a horrible traumatic experience into a better life!
#28
An autoimmune disease. An incurable debilitating disease. I was 32.
Hazel Sage 6 hours ago
My Lupus diagnosis came at 18. Honestly, getting my ADA parking badge was a lot more influential.
#29
Having kids. It's such a change from being a 20 something to be responsible for someone else that is so helpless.
Kelly Scott 8 hours ago (edited)
Then please, BE responsible for them. Teach them, supervise them, discipline them, love them, make them happy they were born, and make us appreciate seeing a well-behaved and happy child for a change, unlike all the other feral animals out there running around with their uncaring parents.
#30
Breakdown caused by OCD in 2021 that left me actively planning my end. Almost went through with it but my parents surprised me with a puppy, and that puppy saved my life. In a much better, stable place now with that puppy still by my side, but I’ll never be the same ever again. No one really tells you that - that you might survive the attempt (or near attempt) but something in you ***still*** dies, and that part of you is just carried with you for the rest of your time, like a scar on your heart (or brain, whatever).
What do you think ?
Smeghead Tribble Down Under 18 hours ago
Starting High school (Year7/age 12 here in Australia) Went from happy, fairly outgoing, straight-As, and having friends to being bullied to the point of suicide (teachers didn't care, family said I was overreacting, had no friends to confide in or back me up) withdrawn, nervous anxious, being physically ill every morning and crying my eyes out not wanting to go to school, and I believe this is where my now-crippling social anxiety was kicked off -_- I'm 44 now and still have no friends.
SnackbarKaat 17 hours ago
Im so sorry to hear that... Being bullied is life changing. My mother told me it must be my own fault, being bullied. Ill never forget that
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Weltschmerz 19 hours ago
Mine was my dad's suicide. Was such an earth shattering event that I don't think I'll ever truly recover from it.
Crystal M 8 hours ago
Hugs! I know exactly how you feel. My father completed suicide in 2000, even after 24 years it hurts every day.
Load More Replies... Smeghead Tribble Down Under 18 hours ago
Starting High school (Year7/age 12 here in Australia) Went from happy, fairly outgoing, straight-As, and having friends to being bullied to the point of suicide (teachers didn't care, family said I was overreacting, had no friends to confide in or back me up) withdrawn, nervous anxious, being physically ill every morning and crying my eyes out not wanting to go to school, and I believe this is where my now-crippling social anxiety was kicked off -_- I'm 44 now and still have no friends.
SnackbarKaat 17 hours ago
Im so sorry to hear that... Being bullied is life changing. My mother told me it must be my own fault, being bullied. Ill never forget that
Load More Replies... Weltschmerz 19 hours ago
Mine was my dad's suicide. Was such an earth shattering event that I don't think I'll ever truly recover from it.
Crystal M 8 hours ago
Hugs! I know exactly how you feel. My father completed suicide in 2000, even after 24 years it hurts every day.
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