I'm hoping most of these are jokes. Not that a few white lies don't sneak in. Like sorry we can't go because it is closed today, but generally your children will learn you are lying and won't trust you... also they will learn that lying is okay.

When my parents wanted to take a nap, they said "When i wake up we're gonna clean. Wake me up in an hour." Lo and behold, the house was dead silent and they slept long and deep.

One time my dad needed me to do something for him at his house while he was out of town, but my 2 1/2 year old son and I were in watching his favorite cartoon and I could tell by the mood he'd been in all day that if I said we had to go he was going to start crying and it would be a whole scene and I wasn't trying to deal with that at the moment. So I sneakily unplugged the router and told him, "Oh no! We ran out of internet! Let's go get some from Papa's house really quick!" When we got to my dad's I gave my son a big Ziploc bag and told him to open it and run around the house to catch all the wifi while I did what my dad had asked me to do. When I was done we zipped the bag up and headed back home, then I had him dump the 'wifi' onto our router and wouldn't you know it, it started working again!

Funny we teach not to lie but we do ourselves. Our toothfairy will tell them to clean up, too. For St Patrick's, we mess up the house a little and our oldest makes traps. The lephrechan gets caught in a trap. I make a really crappy 30 second drawing cutout and put it in the trap and leave a note saying their trap was so good they caught the lephrechan and he turned into paper. They need to clean up and the lephrechan will return back to being alive next year. She is oblivious to things like my hand writing and how the lephrechan wrote a note after turning into paper.

Weird that I chose not to have kids at all because this was the kind of parent I knew I would be... only to find out they are apparently "hacks". "That's right Timmy, wind is caused by the trees waving back and forth".

When I was a kid in the 90's we had a minivan with a clock display on the ceiling for the passengers in the back, and it also showed the temperature. Every time we crossed the border into Canada my dad would get our attention so we could watch the temperature automatically change from Fahrenheit to Celsius, and that's how we would know the exact second we crossed. One day in my thirties I was reminiscing about this with my dad when it suddenly dawned on me that he was a dirty rotten liar.

One time my younger sister really wanted to go to the beach, and we'd been out all day so we were tired and hungry, it was about 5:55, and my mother told her that "We can't, the beach shuts at 6" But hey not too bad.

The best

My very young niece and nephews stayed with me frequently. How did I know they were jumping on the bed? Not that I could hear them, but because I could see them. Through the wall? Yes. How did I know his pjs were under that blanket? Oh, right, because you can see through things. When they asked how I knew, I told them that grown-ups sometimes have super powers and when they grew up , I would tell them all about it so they could have their own super-powers. Took them awhile to figure out I was scamming them. Seat belts unbuckled kept the car from going was actually a car super power of a special option.

The kids aren't getting hurt or damaged so what is the fuss? My son would only eat brocolli if I told him it was baby trees. He eats brocolli and in the mean time he is 30 years old. And he finds the baby trees funny.

Why are people so afraid of the truth. My son and I laughed about how we disgusted death and deorderent on the same day when he was ten. He battled a catastropic illness and depended on the truth so he could prepare for painfull times, not knowing caused fear.

I'm not a troll but I think it is better to build trust with them instead of lying because if you would lie they will eventually stop believing and obeying you.

When my son was in middle school we were at a restaurant and I ordered a Guinness with my dinner. He begged and begged to try it. After it warmed up a bit I let him have a sip. Oh the face he made! He said oh that's awful! Does all beer taste like that? Yes is does son, yes it does... It was years later before he tried to drink beer again. Saved his high school years at least. Until he was legal to buy his own.

I tell my son that the show he wants to watch that I can't tolerate is broken and we have to check back later.

My wife and I tried not to lie to our kids. Here's why: My mom lied to me all the time, sometimes for no reason at all. I was probably about 7 the first time I caught her lying, and it ruined her credibility with me forever. She's now 84, and if she told me the sun will come up tomorrow, I'd get a second opinion. Her eyes are brown because she's full of s**t. She's not a bad person, she just has a very casual relationship with the truth.

Did you all just skim over the one that said "Don't be judgemental"? Sheesh! You do you and mind your business! Just because they posted about it does not give you the right to judge these people like you all are saints!

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Why people feel the need to lie to their children instead of saying no and teach them not to be fckn brats, is beyond me. Also, what's with all the hand holding? You don't need to make up a story for your kid to learn safety mesures just because you don't know how to explain they can get injured. You can't even mention the word injured, let alone death... Your kids are not born stupid. Your shitty parenting turns them into idiots who can't handle life.