That's not a lie! That's a brilliant hack!

Technically that is not a lie. You just invented that game.

My nephew would have made me go look with him :/

My dad is the only one of our family who eats Brussels sprouts: had a friend over for tea in high school, he asked her if she liked Brussels sprouts, she exclaimed "oh no, they're gross! But I do like those little cabbage things" (meaning the sprouts). Proud of my fam , none of them blinked an eye. I guess she just said "ew Brussels sprouts" coz we all did/other ppl do, without realising

We all do that, sometimes to ourselvs.

and if you do plan on it, be prepared for "mommy, what's a dildo?"

As a kid, I was told, simply enough, tht you should wear your seatbelt in the car because without it a car crash can kill you. I don't see why this situation would require a lie when the truth is perfectly fine here.

Well, that's not entirely false though

Probably the next lie will be that daddy sleeps now in a sofa because there he can hear...

*hides the matches*

Hummus IS princess food.

I mean it's not really a lie :/ lol

I think my mother used this on my brother too. Kid was too lazy to use the potty.

I would LOVE to have a SO who bought me tools.

Yes this lol, I'm currently in a long term battle of wills and I use this :D

Not only do you not have to go over and see it, they are also more likely to behave themselves thinking you can what they are doing.

I wish it was real.

Be careful, I'm a middle aged woman that can't leave the house, start work, go on a journey, join a meeting, without going to the bathroom first!

Once my 3yo nephew had a sleepover at my house. When he woke up the next he asked me "why are you so beautiful?" I almost cried :D

Until the day the ice cream truck shows up without music

Our computer and tv used to need naps, or they would be so tired they would need to sleep all of tomorrow. As evidenced by the computer having a sleep mode! XD it was good while it lasted, he's long since wised up but it worked for quite a while

this one's cute :) thats it, i definitely want to be a parent when im older

Also, "If you don't stop by the count of three - one, two, three...Ok, this is the last time I'm gonna count!"

YES

My kids has to make a fire escape plan for home. My twins told me we would meet at the tree in the cul de sac and I was like that's good but you know I'm going to grab the cat and the dog before I worry about you guys, right? They laughed at my silly joke. Next day teacher pulls me aside and said in a very disappointed voice, Mrs W. did you tell your boys your fire plan was for you to grab the pets first and the kids were on their own? Haha. I can't describe the shades of red my face was. I explained it and she had a good chuckle. I wanted to die.

As someone who teaches 4s and 5s, if a student told me their parent’s middle name was Danger I’d laugh and probably record the fun memory in their journal. (We make journals/scrapbooks for the kids each year)

Danger break well? WHAT

"Wait for it"

Dwight (Danger) Schrute

I actually met a little boy who's name really is Danger! He really enjoys telling people his name.

No, his middle name is Exploding Unicorn

bad "raccoon"! bad, bad, bad "raccoon"!

You'd be surprised how many toys we tried "new" batteries in, but sadly they didn't work! (Only on several really awful toddler toys, nothing he was attached to)

It should be. The fact that they're corporate sociopaths that keep it open is no reason to pay them.

"Go hide, I'll come find you." I can just imagine the child 3 hours later, just standing in plain sight like: "Mommy, can you find me?" and she just completely ignores them haha

Buy the chili chocolate -"it's spicy, you won't like it" or 72% cocoa.

I am at work right now and this song is playing on the radio, how ironic

That's funny

Oh my goodness, my brother used to be up at 6 or 7 any day we didn't have school, but on school days my mom had to go in his room multiple times and work SO hard to force him to get up! I probably did that too when I was younger (and had less appreciation for sleeping in) but he's younger, so I remember him doing it more recently.

If they insist add bit of black pepper.

100% this is accurate!!!!

You're evil.