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27 Stories Of Future Spouses Who Were Left Or Practically Left At The Altar, As Told By Folks In This Online Community
Do you remember the famous romantic comedy "Runaway Bride"? In fact, it turns out that the filmmakers could well write in the credits "based on true events." Of course, not everyone runs away from their wedding as many as four times, like the heroine played by Julia Roberts, but stories about weddings that broke down literally at the altar, as it turns out, are not so rare.
It happens that an unfortunate or completely curious coincidence of circumstances could become the cause of the break at the final spot. Sometimes these are mental reasons for one of the future spouses, and sometimes one of the guests actually has reasons why these two should not be married, so they speak now, not willing to forever hold their peace.
There is an incredibly serious thread in the AskReddit community, the creator of which asked several questions at once: "Did you ever attend a wedding where the bride or groom was left at the altar?" "Did it happen to you or someone you know?" And finally, "What happened and how did it affect the abandoned?" As of today, the thread has about 1K upvotes and nearly 400 different comments, many of which have entire life stories behind them, sad, dramatic and funny.
Bored Panda has put together a list for you of the most popular comments in the original thread, and almost every item on that list could become a movie. In any case, now feel free to scroll to the very end, mark the most interesting tales for you, and be sure to share your opinion in the comments!
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#1
It was pretty close for me. Technically he called it off about 36 hours before the wedding, so not AT the altar, but still with guests in town and everything booked.
We had been dating since high school and had both just finished college. We had a super s**tty relationship where he was constantly gaslighting and manipulating me. In turn, I was s**tty to him as well. We had an eight month engagement, and he started acting weird during the last month. He seemed less happy and more withdrawn. At my friend’s wedding—just a couple weeks before ours was planned—he was basically surly the whole time and wouldn’t smile or dance at all. About 10 days-ish prior he started to freak out. He kept telling me that he felt like he could probably do better than me and that he was noticing how most girls were prettier than me. He had me upload my face into some website that analyzed your face and gave a beauty score (total b******t). I went along with this because I was panicked and desperate and a little stupid. The last couple days before he called it off he got ultra paranoid. He started recording our conversations and trying to get me to say bad things. Our families all got involved at that point and it became a total s**tshow. His dad screamed obscenities at me in the church parking lot when we were there to figure out some last minute stuff for ruining his son’s life (???). Finally my mom stepped in and realized that this thing probably wasn’t going to happen. She asked him point blank if he was going to marry me, he tried to avoid the question, and when she wouldn’t back down he said no.
I sobbed and got drunk and had all of my in town friends over for a bbq that I don’t really remember. A few of my friends stayed with me for a couple of days. I went to stay with out of town friends for about a month after that (I luckily had time off work). After that month away from all of his emotionally abusive fuckery, I was finally able to see how awesome it was. It still amazes me that in a month I went from “my life is over” to “my life is just beginning.” The intense sadness lasted like a week.
The aftermath: So he convinced me to pay for the wedding so he could pay down his student loan debt. Then it would be my turn the next year. Soooo I got stuck with the 7000 bill for a wedding that didn’t happen. I froze the food and ate it for months. Some vendors were great and helped me out as much as they could. I put my dress in a consignment shop that closed and...legally stole it? Which is a bummer because it was pricey and my mom bought it.
He can crawling back about 4 months later. While I wouldn’t entertain a relationship, I asked a lot of questions about why he thought it would work and what he would do differently if we did get back together. He had no answers, other than that “the pain would make us stronger” or some b******t. I blocked his number and haven’t heard from him since.
I deleted my Facebook and cut ties with all of our mutual friends, who were really just his friends, so I have no idea where he is now. I’m doing great though! This was like five years ago now. I’m now in a super healthy, happy relationship with a great guy and working a job I would’ve never been able to have with my ex. I guess in the end I’m grateful that he called it off and saved us the s***ty pain of being together for even longer.
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#2
Happened to a guy at a company I worked at about 9 years ago. He and his fiance went up to the altar and she had requested a projector to show some of their times together, pictures, etc. He went along with it, only for her to have organised a video of him cheating on her to play instead. Full nudity. She walked away from the altar, refunded his portion of the honeymoon, and went by herself.
Honestly, from what I heard, it was f*****g brutal on the guy. The women he cheated on her with was in the audience, too, and was part of the company as his manager. They were both made to resign, as office romances between a manager and their subordinates were not allowed unless the promotion happened while they were seeing each other.
#3
I was a bridesmaid for a wedding, and the bride's biological mother showed up uninvited 45min before the ceremony. They got into a screaming match, ending with the bride slapping her bio mom. Mom had the bride arrested.
Wedding ceremony didn't go on, but the reception did. When bio mom tried to crash that, cops were already in place to arrest her for trespass/DUI/public intox/public nuisance. Charges against the bride were dropped shortly after.
Bride and groom had a civil ceremony at the courthouse a couple weeks later, with just their immediate families present. (I had already deployed by then.)
Found out later on that the bride (who is VERY well off in her life, despite her trainwreck of a mother) secured a great civil attorney and successfully sued the woman for the embarrassment of the whole s**tshow and the cost of the wedding reception.
Mom had to sell her house (which she owned outright, as it had been given to her upon her parent's death) to cover the cost of the judgment, and later filed for bankruptcy. Insult to injury was finding out the bride would have let the whole thing go if mom agreed to go to rehab and therapy, but refused.
DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago
Oh wow...that last part. I hope she eventually got the help she needs. I feel really bad for the bride, to have to endure all that.
#4
More of a near miss than a no show but here goes...
My first marriage was a disaster from the beginning. My ex husband turned up at the hotel where I and the bridesmaids were staying, absolutely hammered at 2am the morning of the wedding. The hotel called and said he was demanding to speak to me. I sent my MOH down and she came back 10 minutes later telling me he was very drunk and wanted to tell me how much he loved me.
I found out a week later that he’d actually come to call the whole thing off. She punched him and told him to get his head together.
We were due to get married at 1pm. At 12.45 he still hadn’t arrived and said MOH was getting twitchy (of course, I didn’t know why at the time!)
He was, again I found this out later, in the car park of the pub next door getting a telling off from his best man about not wanting to go through with it.
Completely oblivious to all of this, i married him, found out a week later that he hadn’t wanted to marry me, felt like an idiot, went on the worlds worst honeymoon and the Sham lasted a whole 6 months.
MOH and I are no longer friends because (a) she didn’t tell me and (b) because she got engaged on the dance floor 2 minutes before our first dance!
Lesson here kids: if the groom wants to go, just let him!!
#5
My great great aunt (before I was born, obviously) was stood up at the altar.
We found out when my mother asked her grandmother to help her make a family tree. So great grandma started listing all of her 12 brothers and sisters, but accidentally named a 13th sister, then gasped, then made my mother swear she’d never tell anyone else in the family.
She was stood up at the altar, and soon after committed suicide. Since the family was extremely religious, she wasn’t allowed to be buried in the church cemetery, and her name was erased from the family bible. Her memory was wiped from the face of the earth.
Emerald Ocean 2 years ago
That’s frickin horrible. Imagine having to go through all that just to have your memory be wiped off the face of the earth!
#6
Oooh I can contribute! This happened just last month. My cousin was supposed to get married in a Mormon temple to his fiance that he had converted. They were arguing the months leading up to the wedding because his fiance wanted to have a regular wedding ceremony and get sealed in the temple in between the ceremony and the reception. Her family isn't Mormon, and can't enter the temple, but since the church has removed the policy stating that US members have to wait a year to be sealed if the couple has a normal wedding she figured this wouldn't be a problem. My cousin is an a*s and likes to show off how much holier he is than everyone else so he said it was a deal breaker because he "didn't want a regular ceremony to take away from the sacredness of the sealing".
So a month leading up to the wedding and his fiance is obviously sad, the joy of getting married is overshadowed by the fact that her dad can't walk her down the aisle. But my cousin said her "sadness now is temporary and that her happiness and family would be eternal" so she tried to seem happy.
Day of the wedding comes and she is hugging her dad and mom trying to keep it together and she goes inside the temple. I don't know what happened inside because I'm not a temple recommend holder anymore (still technically a member but mentally out). 30 min into it and the bride comes running out the front doors in the ridiculous f*****g temple clothes and told her parents she didn't want to get married today and they took her to their hotel.
My cousin came out later in his regular wedding tux and was angry. Telling everyone that she didn't want to be married in a place her parents were allowed in. They tried working it out but she said she never wanted to go to the temple again (don't blame her that place is bizarro) and that she didn't actually believe in the religion but loved him so she tried.
My cousin is still moody and I'm still in touch with his fiance.She said she wouldn't be able to forgive herself if she left out her entire family for a ceremony that was really creepy to her. In her defense the wedding sealings they do are super sexist and have 0 to do with love.
#7
So my brother was sort of left at the alter. They had gotten pregnant while in their senior year of high school. My brother wanted to do the right thing, so he asked her to marry him. The night before the wedding, she told him she didn't want to go through with it anymore. Sometime during the next six months she got involved with another older man, and married him. Her mother died and she had the baby pretty quickly after that. Then she asked my brother to give up parental rights to the baby so that her new husband could adopt him. The bottom line is it messed with my brother a lot. He's never really had a good relationship since. Never had one that lasted a long time. He spent a lot of time regretting giving up rights to the kid. Made a lot of bad choices including drug use, stealing cars, and alcoholism. It's been a long twenty years since all that happened. In the last year he did get involved with someone. Asked her and her daughter to move in with him, and then six months into it she said she was going to marry her child's father. And so she left him and took his savings with her. He had another sort of downward spiral after that. But he did get into rehab, he has been sober for several months now, and he is living with his mom for now. But he got a new job, and he seems to be a lot happier than I have seen him in ages. I am hoping this time things work out for him.
#8
I did not experience this one but read it in a newspaper. In India, there's a custom in some states called the dowry system. Bride's father gives cash and expensive gifts to the groom and his parents for marrying his daughter. It started off as voluntary gifts but now people force the brides' side to pay up money. I know. I have four sister-in-laws wed this way. In the society, rebelling against parents or customs is akin to committing social and financial suicide. Still, a courageous girl refused to marry because the groom's father was being too greedy and was asking for more than what her father could afford. When I read it, I cried. I had seen so many families ruined because of this custom.
#9
Officiant here. Definitely have had this happen. It is usually pretty awful, and confusing. And it is, in most situations, (except of course same-sex couples) the groom. I’ve only ever seen the bride skip out on tv.
The party usually waits 10-15 minutes after the designated start time. Then there’s an awkward moment, and usually someone gets a call or text, or is sent to deliver the bad news. This generally results in tears, and statements of, “I knew it!” Some folks shuffle the bride off, and then usually Dad or senior member of the family makes an awkward statement.
If there was a reception with a meal planned, folks are either invited to stay and eat or the food is sent to a shelter.
And that's really about it.
SillyPandaBunny 2 years ago
So strange considering the groom is usually the one who proposes. Why asking you’re not sure?
#10
my aunt got left at the alter, I don't remember much since I was like, 9, but I remember that the groom wussed out at the wedding and couldn't go through with it. My aunt moved on and found another man, but it didn't last and in that span the groom realized what a mistake it was and proposed like three times before she said yes again.
Happily married for years, 4 adorable boys, I love them all so much
#11
From what I know, my great-uncle, so my maternal grandfather's brother, left his designated bride at the altar. The great-uncle, let's call him George, served in WW2 and lived a lavish bachelor style life, were talking high society parties, expensive trips, even a minor scandal or two involved with some married women... It was around 1964, and he was my grandfather's older brother. Great-grandfather was concerned who will run the estate after he's gone, so he decided to take matters in his own hands and find him a wife.
My great-grandmother and her sister were tasked and they found a suitable girl from the right family, let's call her Emma. So Emma and George were introduced at a garden party and my great-grandpa basically told him he's marrying Emma and George was super pissed.
The wedding day came, my grandpa was an usher (this means he escorted his mother and his youngest sister in the church) and he saw everyone looking pristine and perfect, but the groom wasn't anywhere to be seen. George came p**s drunk and couldn't stand. When Emma came, he puked right at the priest's feet and left the church, passing right by Emma. He got into his car and that was the last time my grandfather saw him, because he crashed into a tree drunk. Emma later married someone and lived a happy normal life, from what I've heard she wasn't even shaken by George's death.
Grandpa, on the other hand, is still mourning his brother, 50+ years later. Everything fell on him and whenever he retells what happened to George, he tears up.
#12
My husband and I weren’t actually at this wedding (for mutual acquaintances), but a lot of our other friends knew the couple better and had been invited. Coincidentally, we were getting together that evening with some of the friends who were going to the wedding, and that’s who we heard the first-hand account from.
Bride and groom stood up in front of the priest to say vows, and groom hesitated. After an awkward pause, he turned away from the bride he’d been facing, said in a low voice, “I just can’t do this. I’m sorry.” The best man took him by the arm and led him out. The bride was too stunned to say anything, but then her bridesmaids led her away.
There were some kind of meetings in the back of the church and in the bride’s room, and the priest came back and announced that the wedding was being canceled. The bride’s father tore a program in half and announced angrily that anyone who wanted to partake of the reception was welcome to, since it was paid for.
Strangely, although the couple never did get married, they actually remained friends. How the bride did it, I’ll never know. A little more than a year later, the former groom died of a genetic heart condition while traveling overseas. A couple years after that, the former bride went to a sperm bank and had a child and has raised her as a single parent.
#13
I was rummaging in a cabinet at my grandparents home when I was about 12 years old and found a stack of napkins. They were embossed in gold with the names of my mom and a man, a date, and wedding bells. So of course I bust right out with "Hey Mom, whose Eddie?" The look that came over her face kind of said it all. She told me the whole sad story right then and there. She'd been left, not at the alter, but a few days before. I was horrified for her, but also immediatly comprehended that I probably wouldn't exist had he not done this, and that sometimes bad things happen for a reason. I've never mentioned it to her or anyone again until now. I have wondered why the damn napkins were kept.
Amused panda 2 years ago
Grandparents were probably of an age not to throw things away as they might be useful later on. Which makes me wonder what nasty messes those napkins with Eddie's name on got used for, because they sure couldn't bring them out to use at parties
#14
Not exactly on topic, but old girlfriend told the story from her mom, who went to a wedding way back when (so 1950's). Since she was a devout catholic, I assume the couple getting married were too... so "not until we are married!" After the ceremony, the newlyweds went to get changed for the reception, and kept the guests waiting for 5 hours.
*"You said not until we get married, and here we are alone taking our clothes off..."*
#15
Sorta.
It was one of my aunt’s wedding and her fiancee aparently got cold feet. We all waited uncomfortably at the church since she wanted to wait for him for a while, and I remember sitting at the front row just watching her silently cry her eyes out while her brothers planned beating the s**t out of him for leaving their baby sis none too quietly. We waited for what it seemed to me hours (but was probably just one) at her request, and we were about to tell her we were calling it quits when the guy rushed in.
I honestly wouldn’t marry someone who left me waiting for that long, but she married him. We kids were told he had been stuck in traffic although we know now it’s b******t. They’re still together now and had two lovely girls, so I guess they worked things out.
#16
I saw a close friend of mine's dad get left at the altar. It was so disturbing because the father turned out to be having an affair with the brides sister who at the time was 6-months pregnant with the fathers kid. I personally wanted to punch the douche in his face. F**k you Steven, and I am so, so sorry for you Jezebel.
#17
Buddy was getting married and died on the way to the church..
#18
One of the weirdest things I’ve ever seen. The bride left the groom because he was sleeping with the maid of honor. She found out shortly before the wedding, and he was sad, so the mother of the bride starts leaving, but the maid of honor gets up, goes to the altar, and then they get married. It was really weird, and nobody expected it.
Emerald Ocean 2 years ago
That’s pretty horrible. The bride probably payed a lot just to have her maid of honor get a free wedding, not to mention the betrayal!
#19
A distant cousin of mine had a panic attack.
As the bride was approaching I could see his eyes bulging, he was sweating profusely, and when the priest started speaking he begun to shake violently, holding his head down, and then he just walked out. The ceremony did not resume.
He had a history of panic attacks, and it was so sad to watch. He confessed later on (after the divorce 3 months later) that he was just getting married to make his parents happy, and he wasn't sure at all that that's what he wanted
Amused panda 2 years ago
I'm confused, need more info... The groom had a panic attack and walked out, the ceremony did not resume, but they divorced 3 months later? How far into the ceremony did they get before he scarpered? Or did they get married another day?
#20
I went to one,and both did not show up,we waited for an hour,then they sent us to the hotel for food,some people took the gifts back
#21
This kind of counts? My GF went to her brothers friends wedding. GF's brother's wife (wow that's a mouthful) gave the groom and groomsmen alcohol BEFORE the wedding for gifts......yup they drank it all. Now we have a bunch of drunk grown men up on the altar with the groom about to get married when the groom's parents (divorced, not civil either) start fighting. Chaos erupts as they start fighting, their dates start fighting and the rest of the family start fighting. Perplexed pastor looks upon the fight as the cops show up and one of the groomsmen says "Egh, it's ok, this happens all the time". Pastor refused to marry them and the wedding was called off. They got married later on but I don't know how they fared.
Emerald Ocean 2 years ago (edited)
I feel bad for the bride! (Or whoever he was marrying since it doesn’t state specifically)
#22
Never actually got to the wedding. About a month out the groom pulled out and ended things. Too late to get any deposits back, so they basically just canceled everything and took the hit. They didn’t cancel the honeymoon though; bride and her maid of honour went on the round-the-world trip instead. The groom in question basically skipped town and is now persona non grata amongst her family and their friends. I had a high opinion of the guy before that but honestly don’t know what I’d say to him if he came back now. I mean, at least he didn’t leave her at the altar, but I feel like this is worse? At least when you leave someone at the altar it saves you the trouble of explaining what happened to your guests.
Susie Elle 2 years ago (edited)
I'm not sure whether it's worse or not; if someone changes their mind about getting married, I'd rather have them say so up front than leaving me to stand alone like a jackass at an altar.
#23
I was at my cousin’s wedding (it was a same sex wedding) which was located in the forest by a small river. You had to climb down a bunch of stairs to get to the ceremony, so not very accessible. They were doing their vows and stuff, when the officiant asked for their rings. They looked at each other for a bit and realized they forgot them. One of the grooms had to run all the way back to the tent where we ate dinner, grab the rings, and run back. We were all kind of waiting there awkwardly for a minute.
P.s.: During the vows, I got stung by a wasp and then it fell on my leg and died. Very eventful wedding.
#24
I wasn't there, but this was a famous story. The groom went on the honeymoon, leaving the bride at the alter. She continued with the reception, dancing to "I Will Survive."
Updates say she got married 4 years later.
#25
Not bride or groom but my BIL's family didn't show up until after the ceremony to drop off their share of the potluck, mingle for a bit and eat before taking off. I don't think they approved of the fact that it was a small, non traditional wedding held at a friend's house. Plus my sister is white.
#26
I was once at a wedding where the groom was almost late to the altar and the groomsman were late. In Serbian tradition, the groom's family and friends meet at the home of the groom's parents for a pre-wedding party. In this case, the house was about 30 miles from the church. For those in the Chicago area, the house was in Palos Heights and the church in Gurnee. The groom left barely in time to get there. I left shortly afterwards. The groomsman left later but I saw them on I294 going about 120mph to get to the church on time. Groom chewed them out afterwards since he told them to leave when he did.
#27
Happened at a friend of the families friends wedding (small rural town so we all knew about it despite not being all that close)
The groom dipped on the bride for her best friend on the wedding day.
He and his new wife both died a year later.
I'll you with your imagination to fill in the gap
What do you think ?
Deborah B 2 years ago
Obligatory not me but a friend-of-a-friend: Groom was a prankster, the bride was not. He'd prank her, she'd be hurt or embarassed. They'd fight, he'd promise not to prank her again, then weeks or months later, he would see an opportunity and wouldn't be able to resist. Repeat. Bride wants the wedding dignified and perfect, and extracts the predictable promises; no cake-in-the-face, no getting drunk, and absolutely no pranks or practical jokes. When they get to the kneel-at-the-alter part, groom's side starts chuckling. The bride leans around, and the Groom has "Help me" on the soles of his shoes. Bride gets up. "Please tell me you didn't know someone wrote "help me" on your shoes." Groom's side are outright laughing, Bride's side are cringing. Groom owns up; he did it himself to get a laugh, it's just joke. Bride looks at him "It's humiliating to me. I can't do this. I can't spend my life waiting for the next time you embarass me." or words to that effect. She walked.
Daniel Yamada 2 years ago
To avoid being left at the alter, get married at a location that does not have an alter.
Brocken Blue 2 years ago
Effective! My spouse and I got married in our own living room so there wasn’t a great option for either of us to run 😂
Load More Replies...
Melissa TO 2 years ago
Kind of off topic, but I met a wedding officiant who told me that you'd be surprised how often a couple has a wedding but don't officially get married. The want the wedding and the party but don't officially marry, even tho they want to. I know a couple that did this because the bride had kids and got more benefits (health insurance, etc) for the kids if she remained a single mom. They lived in an extremely expensive state and it just made more sense financially for them to stay officially single. Only myself and maybe 3 others know that they aren't really married.
Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
Then there's poor Kel Knight, who was left at the altar *four times* because his charming sleazebag "friend" Sandy kept stealing his fiancees.
Caroline Sinclair 2 years ago
I wanted to do this, but was bullied out of it. My fiancé and I had a conversation 48 hours before the wedding which showed me a side of his character and his expectations of me as a wife which made me really unhappy. My mother browbeat me into not cancelling the wedding because it would humiliate her in front of her friends and family. We separated a year later and divorced soon after, but my mother got her fancy and expensive "Mother of the Bride" moment.
Deborah B 2 years ago
Obligatory not me but a friend-of-a-friend: Groom was a prankster, the bride was not. He'd prank her, she'd be hurt or embarassed. They'd fight, he'd promise not to prank her again, then weeks or months later, he would see an opportunity and wouldn't be able to resist. Repeat. Bride wants the wedding dignified and perfect, and extracts the predictable promises; no cake-in-the-face, no getting drunk, and absolutely no pranks or practical jokes. When they get to the kneel-at-the-alter part, groom's side starts chuckling. The bride leans around, and the Groom has "Help me" on the soles of his shoes. Bride gets up. "Please tell me you didn't know someone wrote "help me" on your shoes." Groom's side are outright laughing, Bride's side are cringing. Groom owns up; he did it himself to get a laugh, it's just joke. Bride looks at him "It's humiliating to me. I can't do this. I can't spend my life waiting for the next time you embarass me." or words to that effect. She walked.
Daniel Yamada 2 years ago
To avoid being left at the alter, get married at a location that does not have an alter.
Brocken Blue 2 years ago
Effective! My spouse and I got married in our own living room so there wasn’t a great option for either of us to run 😂
Load More Replies... Melissa TO 2 years ago
Kind of off topic, but I met a wedding officiant who told me that you'd be surprised how often a couple has a wedding but don't officially get married. The want the wedding and the party but don't officially marry, even tho they want to. I know a couple that did this because the bride had kids and got more benefits (health insurance, etc) for the kids if she remained a single mom. They lived in an extremely expensive state and it just made more sense financially for them to stay officially single. Only myself and maybe 3 others know that they aren't really married.
Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
Then there's poor Kel Knight, who was left at the altar *four times* because his charming sleazebag "friend" Sandy kept stealing his fiancees.
Caroline Sinclair 2 years ago
I wanted to do this, but was bullied out of it. My fiancé and I had a conversation 48 hours before the wedding which showed me a side of his character and his expectations of me as a wife which made me really unhappy. My mother browbeat me into not cancelling the wedding because it would humiliate her in front of her friends and family. We separated a year later and divorced soon after, but my mother got her fancy and expensive "Mother of the Bride" moment.
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