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When we think about talents, we often imagine something cool, valuable and impressive. From painting to playing an instrument, these abilities immediately bring us into the spotlight and make us a teeny tiny bit better than anyone born without them.

But this online group celebrates exactly the opposite of that. Welcome to the “Learn Useless Talents” subreddit, a miscellaneous home to 694k members who share not just talents, but the most useless ones of all.

“This is a place to learn how to do cool things that have no use other than killing time and impressing strangers,” the group’s description reads, so I leave the stage to some of the best (and most useless!) posts posted here.

#1

Ima Do This

Ima Do This

MyManOwen Report

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DEW
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You're the best! Totally going to do this and share!! Your legacy will live on!! When this takes off make sure you get the credit!!

Wood Carver
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As it will be opened on arrival if you're more subtle glitter is the devils spunk and could be used to ruin an office

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Robert T
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Slightly more useful, if you get junk mail you don't want and it has a return address on it, you can simply cross out your address and write return to sender on it. If it is addressed to someone who has died, then also write deceased on it, and they should remove them from their mailing list (it has worked on several that my late FIL was getting and they were upsetting my MIL).

Mad Dragon
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I once worked for a company that sent out flyers with return envelopes. The company didn’t care at all about having to pay $2.50 for someone to send them a bunch of paper. To them, it’s worth it because that person opened the envelope in the first place. You’re only messing with the person in the mail room who has to dispose of that paper, who wasn’t even the one to mail it to you in the first place.

Dindu Nuffin
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sign. Now for the TRUTH. When you buy a Business Reply Mail permit you agree to pay for return mail up to 1 ounce (about 28 grams) or a postcard. The US Post Office can only 1) forward qualifying mail or 2) return mail if there is a valid return address (different from the permit address) or 3) destroy the offending mail as a 'dead letter'. You can mail a brick, but it will be discarded by the post office. Sorry. And yes, it's always been this way.

Hirtir
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anything over 16 ounces needs to be hand-delivered to the post office waiting for payment. A brick will be delivered to the dead-letter office while waiting for someone to pay for delivery (I worked for this type of office and they didn’t pay for anything above once ounce).

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Gigi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I used to work for a direct mail marketing business. We had the most wonderful, lovely people in the mail department. I wouldn't wish this on them. Seriously, people. The company doesn't care or see what you are sending. The staff that stands up 8 -12 hours per day at minimum wage opening mail and return packages do. So, have a care. Your petty fun isn't doing anything, just recycle it

The Other Guest
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unless OP also writes the "to" address somewhere, that's going straight to the dead letter pile.

Nikki Sevven
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I open junk mail and save whatever is blank to use as scrap paper. The rest gets shredded and composted.

Tim
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unfortunately, political campaign mailings don't come with envelopes.

Tanith Kempson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Junk mail can be used for scrapbooking. Or could just put bin/trash can under the letter box

marnidarr
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is true, but don't make it too fat or it won't go through all the machines it needs to be sorted correctly. In the picture above, it would be better to wrap all those shreds in one piece of paper on the inside of the envelope so the outside remains smooth. That barcode on the bottom is what the machines read.

Elizabeth Butler
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have been doing this for years, BUT all I enclose is the donation slip with my NAME and ADDRESS with note 'Please remove from mailing list'. They usually do that.

Juliette Dauterive
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Make the effort. Cross out your name on the pre-printed card and write “ Please take my name and addressor your mailing list”. If there is NO pre-paid envelope, look for a 1-800 number. Call and make the same request. As a last resort, use your own stamp. It’s worth it. Save trees, and fuel. STOP the junk mail.

Satya Bain
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Been doing this for many years. They have to pay the postage regardless of what they get back. I might get 2 pieces every 6 months or so.

Danish Susanne
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank you for doing this. I am convinced it is people like you, that are responsible for the fact that you almost never see those annoying envelopes anymore, at least not i Denmark

Riley Quinn
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've been doing this for ages. Add a few pennies to really ramp up the weight.

Laurie Ostergaard-Overbey
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

in the book 'Steal this Book" by Abbie Hoffman, pub in 1971, he says to wrap a brick in brown paper and attach the envelope to the front to mail. yet, they are still sending these envelopes out today...he also tells you how to use your tape recorder and record the sound of coins dropping into a pay phone, then use the recording when the operator tells you how much to put in.....this actually worked.....then.....

Donna Gettings Apperson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Decades ago, it was suggested that we should wrap a brick and use their return labels.

Angela Chapman
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've done this before in the UK. It soon stops them sending you junk mail if you write "Stop sending me cr@p I'm not interested" when you return the confetti 😉

Kelly Hartle
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband once fought one of the unions that tried to represent state employees. He took all their "No postage necessary" postcards, glued them to bricks, and dropped them in the mailbox.

Karol Olson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just keep in mind that marketing costs (such as return postage) get factored in to the price you pay for the product.

dahnb 2000
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I did this over 40 years ago. Not so new and I doubt I was the first.

Kabuki Kitsune
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This does not always work. Because people have taken this idea and ran with it, by putting these things on bricks, and all manner of situation, the postal office is allowed to dispose of letters that are obvious attempts at forcing the sender to pay by weight. So if it has an open window that shows shredded paper in it, they'll discard it. If it's attached to a brick, it gets tossed. If it's grossly overweight from what is expected, they'll toss it.

Madb vonMesser
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mail carrier. I hate it when you do this. That s**t is heavy and if you're on a walking/park and loop route we have to carry it.

Ellen Woods
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It helps to have an actual address showing through the envelope window. That envelope is going no where.

Caryle
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Google opt out junk mail.Works for five years doesn’t work for political junk But my mail is about a 10th of what it was

Caryle
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or you can sign up for free to be on the no junk mail list

Gareth Baus
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even better if you have a conveniently sized tungsten plate.

Jeff Conquest
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Be careful placing metal plates in these. I’ve always filled them with paper and mailed back; however, I moved into a home with curtains weighted with 2” X 3” metal plates. I had 100’s of them so I taped them together and stuffed the envelope with them. A very short while later, I received a call from my local Post Master informing me that my thick e envelopes had destroyed one of their very expensive sorting machines. He gave me a direct order to never mail plates like that again or he was going to come after me to fix the next machine I broke. Returning with trash is fine, but avoid solid plates unless you want a very uncomfortable conversation.

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Patricia Stilwell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've done this in the past. Not many solicitors use the postage paid envelopes anymore. The most objectionable senders seem to also want you to pay the postage

BeeInACup
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If true, this is my favorite thing I’ve ever learned on the internet.

RoanTheMad
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In the UK we get the same kind of junk mail s**t from companies that give you an envelope to send back your reply. I once stuffed empty catfood pouches into the envelope and sent it back :')

Francine Govan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've been doing this for a while ... I admit it, it brightens my day a little!

Paul Aguilera
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You magnificent human! I will be sending little pouches of cement and gravel wrapped in cling wrap from now on.

SparkleFarts
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Important to note that Business Reply Mail like this is considered First Class mail and absolutely WILL be delivered. And will cost a bit as well 😁 And kids just LOVE sending letters

Izzy Curer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Now, I just have to figure out how to stop receiving other peoples' junk mail.

Babs McGurk
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've done this many, many times. It gives me a small degree of satisfaction knowing that they company is paying for scraps of paper.

Slap Shot
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We have been doing this for years. Unfortunately it doesn’t stop getting more from the same sender. Still feels good though.

Imjust jim
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Attach it to a brick with zip ties...not that i've ever done such a dastardly thing. Right? Sure.

El Dee
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've heard of people mailing bricks, you can tape the envelope to the package as an 'address label'

L̸1̶z̵
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel like this would upset the post carriers more than anyone. They may not even deliver it, would they?

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JL
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I used to gather the stuff these places send (the brochures and other things without my name on it) and put them in each other's envelopes and mail them out, so I was the middleman for them blitzing each other with unwanted junk.

okpkpkp
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have done this - on numerous fun-filled occasions. I heard of someone taping the envelope to a brick. Now that's payback!!!

Robin Roper
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I do this, but have never added extra weight. Today, I learned a new twist.

Bryan With a Why
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I used to do this a lot!! Just be careful, some have added barcodes to scan which could trace back to your address. Otherwise, fill it as much as possible and make those bums pay!

Laura Lett
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I want to do this. This is so petty & ridiculous. Can't stop smiling.

Ronald Bradford
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So using a paper shredder and an envelope are "Useless But Very Cool-Looking Things You Can Learn To Impress Others," eh?

Phyzzi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First, this is a lovely way to use things that are trash but not harmful to handle, like bubble wrap lined paper mailers, stickers, etc. Second, be sure to write something like "You are formally notified to take my name off this mailing list and all affiliate lists" and scribble a signature because notification in writing IS actually legal even if it's scrawled on something they sent to you. After I started doing this, I rapidly decreased the number of letters I was sent. Also, while not really nice to the post office, if there is a return envelope but it isn't postage paid, you can sometimes use the cancelled stamp. I only do this when I am frustrated in part by the roll that the post plays in physical spam though.

Paul Richards
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Used to be able to tape to boxes and fill with rocks, ah the good old days

Real Princess
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I once had a book club kept sending me the World of Poetry book over and over and I never ordered it. They finally sent me a postage-paid label so I added several heavy metal canister reel-to-reel radio tapes as well as a brick and sent it back. I think it was close to 45 pounds.

Dorian
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You can actually fill a box with rocks at tape the envelope as a shipping label... Totally worth it

Ross Warren
Community Member
2 years ago

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If you have any flat pieces of scrap iron, this is a good use for them.

Paul Donahue
Community Member
2 years ago

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Fill with ball bearings and wrap with clear packing tape. Follow me for more malicious compliance hacks.

Pamela Worthington-Smack
Community Member
2 years ago

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I find this an excellent way to recycle dead batteries, but do be careful to remove all evidence of your identity. Despite being unable to reliably deliver the mail, the USPS is still quite capable of prosecuting you for trifling with it.

Lee Henderson
Community Member
2 years ago

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They used to tell you to attach the envelope to a brick and mail it back but I don't think the post will even pick it up like that.

Zachary Gillette
Community Member
2 years ago

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This poster needs to learn the "c p" can have a very different meaning.

Susan De Nimes
Community Member
2 years ago

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Not sure if this works in the USA but over here you can just tape the envelope to a large brick and post that. Same deal applies: they're charged by weight.

Milo
Community Member
2 years ago

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I do this all the time. Also, it helps the postal service since they get the money that the company has to pay.

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    yo,this aint useless my guy,who put the hideout for me and the gremlins here?(the gremlins is the name we gave me and my friends.

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    I'm doing this tomorrow and waiting to see how long it takes before someone notices and says "Are those PANTS??"

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    #14

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    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was on a bus tour where someone took a drink from a can of Coke and got stung. They couldn't stop crying, so I asked if it was a Bee or a Wasp -- they didn't know. . . . It Makes A Difference. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I told them, if it was a bee, it would have left behind a stinger and a venom sack. When took a look, I could see it in the roof of their mouth. Using the tweezers from a swiss army knife, I extracted it and solved the problem. Instant pain relief. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . If you've read this far, you've learned some "useless" information like the other people on the bus.

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    #15

    Nato Phonetic Alphabet

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    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is the opposite of useless. Very useful, recommended to remember.

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    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Usefull when you travel and need to read signs, menus and other stuff, despite not understanding

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    #43

    How To Make A Baseball Cap Lincoln From A Five Dollar Bill

    How To Make A Baseball Cap Lincoln From A Five Dollar Bill

    EpicAriX Report

    #45

    Cook Water

    Cook Water

    reddit Report

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    Toolkit
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I tried the recipe, followed it step by step, would recommend 100 percent,no allergies and good for ppl on diet too, easy to make, and very delicious too 😂

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    #46

    How To Tell The Different Types Of Watch Hands And What To Call Them

    How To Tell The Different Types Of Watch Hands And What To Call Them

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    #47

    It Seems Useless Until You Need It

    It Seems Useless Until You Need It

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    Khara Mei
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now this is strange, but I have indeed had to do this when I worked at the zoo. This is what we did, with four people because it needed extra security on the wings as one wing was injured.

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    #49

    How To Crack An Egg With One Hand

    How To Crack An Egg With One Hand

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    SobyKay
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    always wanted to do this, may try if I feel like making a crazy mess on the kitchen 😂

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    #52

    Identifying Different Types Of Lamps

    Identifying Different Types Of Lamps

    JackApollo Report

    #53

    How To Be Mildly Successful At Rope Ladder Carnival Games

    How To Be Mildly Successful At Rope Ladder Carnival Games

    BlueJabs Report

    #54

    Crossing Piranha-Infested Water

    Crossing Piranha-Infested Water

    VioletWinters Report

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    Izzy Curer
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They did an episode on River Monsters where Jeremy Wade crawled into a tub full of piranhas to prove that they're not nearly as dangerous as old adventure stories like to make them out to be. The ones in the tub just acted like scared fish.

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    #55

    Double Knot Shoelace Method

    Double Knot Shoelace Method

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    Good Luckas
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom taught me that but only pull one finger on each hand to make a single knot. It’s so useful and I can tie my shoes faster than anyone I’ve ever met!

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    #56

    How A Bar Code Supposedly Works

    How A Bar Code Supposedly Works

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    Khara Mei
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know EAN13, definitely not it, barcodes are all numbers too, it also lacks a start/stop so could never be read properly. In fact, I think this is just the 3 of 9 font.

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    #57

    Make A Huge Splash

    Make A Huge Splash

    r3dl3mon Report

    #59

    How To Fit A Round Peg In A Square Hole

    How To Fit A Round Peg In A Square Hole

    aloofloofah Report

    #60

    How To Commit Seppuku!

    How To Commit Seppuku!

    JediMindTrick188 Report

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    Lakota Wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love how BP censors words like "die", "death", and "suicide", but put a pictorial guide to killing yourself with a sword into an article.

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