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Marriage Hits A Breaking Point As Man’s Weaponized Incompetence Backfires On Him, Wife Is Fed Up
You know those people who suddenly become hopelessly bad at something just when it’s their turn to do it? It’s like watching someone “forget” how a dishwasher works or act like boiling some pasta requires a master’s degree. Convenient, right? It’s a clever little trick to dodge responsibility and make sure someone else picks up the slack.
One mom took to Reddit to spill some piping hot tea about her husband’s creative approach to avoid responsibility. And let’s just say, if weaponized incompetence were an Olympic sport, this guy might be going for gold.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
If weaponized incompetence were an Olympic sport, some folks would get a gold medal without even trying
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)
One woman considers divorcing her husband after he pretends to be very sick just so he doesn’t have to take the kids to daycare
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The woman wakes up early for work and asks her husband to take the kids to the doctor and daycare, but he says he is very sick and can’t get out of bed
Image credits: uprevich / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When she returns from work, the woman finds the house spotless and freshly-cleaned, but her husband is not sick in bed, he is out shopping
Image credits: Electrical_Cat_131
Fed up with her husband’s weaponized incompetence, which is actually a repetitive pattern, the woman considers leaving him because of it
The OP (original poster) started her day at 6 a.m., as most moms do, waking up ready to tackle her shift at work. With her toddler’s audiology appointment scheduled for 8 a.m., she’d passed the baton to her husband to handle the drop-off duties. Easy, right? Wrong.
The husband claimed he was too sick to function, complete with sweating, a sore ear, and what sounded like a PhD-level case of “man flu.” Our supermom suggested he handle the morning duties anyway and then spend the rest of the day recovering in bed.
But nope, this dude flat-out refused, leaving her scrambling to take the kids to daycare and to the doctor, then get to work, running late because of his sudden, but very convenient “illness.”
At the end of the day, our mom went home, expecting to find her husband pitifully bedridden. But instead, he was casually at the grocery store, having miraculously recovered enough to go shopping and clean the house until it was spotless. I don’t know which miracle pill he took, but I sure would love to know the name of it.
The OP confesses that this behavior is part of a pattern, leaving her feeling more like a solo parent than an equal partner. And honestly, it’s no wonder she’s contemplating pulling the plug on the relationship. After all, there’s only so much weaponized incompetence a wife can take.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
So, what is weaponized incompetence? It’s when someone deliberately performs a task poorly, or pretends they can’t do it at all, to avoid responsibility. Think: “Oops, I can’t fold the laundry right!” or “I burnt the meat last time, are you sure you want me to cook dinner?”
The pros say that this manipulation technique is especially harmful for the kids, as it teaches them toxic behavior by showing them that one parent has no responsibility. The result? The other partner picks up the slack, creating an unequal dynamic that just breeds resentment.
But that’s not how a marriage works, now is it? Marriage should be a team effort, not a solo act. In other words, Supermom isn’t a nag—she’s just burned out, and understandably so. After all, when you start to feel like you’re parenting your partner, it might be time to reconsider things. And our OP did too, considering leaving her husband for his attitude.
When it’s time to end a marriage, there are a few signs that are hard to ignore. If every conversation turns into a fight, you feel more like roommates than partners, or your mental health is taking a hit, it might be time to reassess.
Sure, all relationships take work, but they shouldn’t feel like a full-time job with overtime. If your partner consistently makes you feel undervalued, unsupported, or downright miserable, it’s worth considering whether staying together is doing more harm than good. After all, life’s too short to spend it picking up someone else’s slack.
What’s your take on this story? Share your comments below!
Netizens say the man is a jerk for pretending to be sick to get out of parenting duties, encouraging the woman to stop enabling him
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What do you think ?
LonelyLittleLeafSheep 1 week ago
"Help" with the kids?! It's called PARENTING and he's responsible for taking care of his own children, sick or not. Since he's incapable of behaving like an adult, kick his a*s to the curb; it'll be less work!
Lyoness 1 week ago
It's exactly that kind of subconscious mindset that needs to change. Partners are equally responsible for the little people they create.
Load More Replies...
Bi.Felicia 1 week ago
Unfortunately I can relate, a little too much, to this story. My ex husband sounds a lot like this tool here. He never wanted to do things with his 2 boys, unless I went with them. We were both full-time college students, at one point and we had planned to take turns getting everyone out of the house for a few to several hours, so the other can study/schoolwork. Every time I needed to study and he was to take the kids out, he would be blowing up my phone, the entire time asking questions or just aggravating me, only for him to be back in an hour or two. Unless he went to his mom's or out with his parents, bc they would help him take care of the kids, but I would be out all day, with them by myself. He also never gave the youngest, a bath, until our son was 10 months old! and this is only because his mother made him do it. My ex was/is useless, in every damn component of life and I was doing everything by myself, anyway, he was like having a third child, sometimes. I filed for divorce.
Apatheist Account2 1 week ago
Milton Jones: "Lads, you know how you deliberately do something really badly, so you won't be asked to do it again? I mean, I hardly know CPR anyway..."
Carol Bland 5 days ago
Attach the Christmas tree star to the end of a wooden spoon and leave it for him to wave as the same 'magic wand' you use when you're not feeling well and he's away at work. Equal partners/parents, or nothing - his choice.
Ginger ninja 5 days ago
OP already said this isnt the first time nor is it the worst he’s done… usually I hate comments that jump straight to divorce yet in this case
Deborah B 1 week ago
Parenting is hard work, even with two commited involved parents. If one person is carrying all the parenting and mental load, and has to carry their spouse as well, they get burned out. The problem is that it's not that he can't help, it's that he refuses to help. I can understand losing respect for your partner when the act like that. It gives the ick.
Mad McQueen 1 week ago
It’s called parenting because it imply multiple people to parent. And you aren’t his mom. Next time he pulls the I’m to sock to do something tell him ok and walk out of the room. Then say you called that office and they will See you too w the kid. No excuse not to go now. But no appt was made so tell Him he has to go or eat the cost of two cancellation fees.
Nice Beast Ludo 1 week ago
Why are the kids in daycare when he isn't working? Unless I read wrong... I skimmed. Honestly I don't care I'm just bored
Betsy S 1 week ago
If he has an on again off again work schedule you'd need to keep the daycare spots every day even if he's home, or when he goes back for his next round, the kids' daycare spots will have been given away.
Load More Replies...
Anna Drever 1 week ago
All of us mums have had to look after our kids while we’ve been sick, so let’s pretend dad actually was sick (he wasn’t!) there’s no reason why he couldn’t look after the kids and no need for mum to drop them off at daycare. Not to mention the appointment that got missed.
JLo 1 week ago
Moms still take care of their kids when they are sick and even if they were up all night with no sleep. Unless you need to go to the hospital, you can still do your part. Next time tell him beforehand that he is responsible for getting the kids dress, fed, and out the door when he is home. Give him an ultimatum and one more chance: either he mans up and parents his own children, or you will divorce him and he gets them half the time by himself. Also tell him that dads who don't spend time with their children end up not having any kinds of relationship with them when they are older ("The Cat's in the Cradle").
LonelyLittleLeafSheep 1 week ago
"Help" with the kids?! It's called PARENTING and he's responsible for taking care of his own children, sick or not. Since he's incapable of behaving like an adult, kick his a*s to the curb; it'll be less work!
Lyoness 1 week ago
It's exactly that kind of subconscious mindset that needs to change. Partners are equally responsible for the little people they create.
Load More Replies... Bi.Felicia 1 week ago
Unfortunately I can relate, a little too much, to this story. My ex husband sounds a lot like this tool here. He never wanted to do things with his 2 boys, unless I went with them. We were both full-time college students, at one point and we had planned to take turns getting everyone out of the house for a few to several hours, so the other can study/schoolwork. Every time I needed to study and he was to take the kids out, he would be blowing up my phone, the entire time asking questions or just aggravating me, only for him to be back in an hour or two. Unless he went to his mom's or out with his parents, bc they would help him take care of the kids, but I would be out all day, with them by myself. He also never gave the youngest, a bath, until our son was 10 months old! and this is only because his mother made him do it. My ex was/is useless, in every damn component of life and I was doing everything by myself, anyway, he was like having a third child, sometimes. I filed for divorce.
Apatheist Account2 1 week ago
Milton Jones: "Lads, you know how you deliberately do something really badly, so you won't be asked to do it again? I mean, I hardly know CPR anyway..."
Carol Bland 5 days ago
Attach the Christmas tree star to the end of a wooden spoon and leave it for him to wave as the same 'magic wand' you use when you're not feeling well and he's away at work. Equal partners/parents, or nothing - his choice.
Ginger ninja 5 days ago
OP already said this isnt the first time nor is it the worst he’s done… usually I hate comments that jump straight to divorce yet in this case
Deborah B 1 week ago
Parenting is hard work, even with two commited involved parents. If one person is carrying all the parenting and mental load, and has to carry their spouse as well, they get burned out. The problem is that it's not that he can't help, it's that he refuses to help. I can understand losing respect for your partner when the act like that. It gives the ick.
Mad McQueen 1 week ago
It’s called parenting because it imply multiple people to parent. And you aren’t his mom. Next time he pulls the I’m to sock to do something tell him ok and walk out of the room. Then say you called that office and they will See you too w the kid. No excuse not to go now. But no appt was made so tell Him he has to go or eat the cost of two cancellation fees.
Nice Beast Ludo 1 week ago
Why are the kids in daycare when he isn't working? Unless I read wrong... I skimmed. Honestly I don't care I'm just bored
Betsy S 1 week ago
If he has an on again off again work schedule you'd need to keep the daycare spots every day even if he's home, or when he goes back for his next round, the kids' daycare spots will have been given away.
Load More Replies... Anna Drever 1 week ago
All of us mums have had to look after our kids while we’ve been sick, so let’s pretend dad actually was sick (he wasn’t!) there’s no reason why he couldn’t look after the kids and no need for mum to drop them off at daycare. Not to mention the appointment that got missed.
JLo 1 week ago
Moms still take care of their kids when they are sick and even if they were up all night with no sleep. Unless you need to go to the hospital, you can still do your part. Next time tell him beforehand that he is responsible for getting the kids dress, fed, and out the door when he is home. Give him an ultimatum and one more chance: either he mans up and parents his own children, or you will divorce him and he gets them half the time by himself. Also tell him that dads who don't spend time with their children end up not having any kinds of relationship with them when they are older ("The Cat's in the Cradle").
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