The birth of a child usually is quite a distressing experience for the woman. And so, having someone who they trust by their side during the whole process can be very helpful. Needless to say, to have someone trustworthy by their side, some pre-planning is a must. Unfortunately, sometimes these plans can be ruined by other people and their stubbornness.

A woman recently shared a story of a verbal fight that took place between her and her mother-in-law (MIL). Before the birth of her third child, the woman had planned it out so that her mother, grandmother and other two children would be with her during birth, but all the plans got ruined by her mother-in-law.

More info: Reddit

It’s said that you must be respectful to parents-in-law, but what if they cross a line by not carrying out a plan that was made months in advance?

Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo) 

This woman planned that her mother would be by her side during the birth helping her, like she was during her previous births, but MIL ruined the plans

Image credits: u/Background_Box463

MIL came to the delivery room alone, stating that she didn’t want to wake everyone up, and just sat in the delivery room on her phone

Image credits: Alexander Grey (not the actual photo) 

Recently, Reddit user u/Background_Box463 turned to the r/AITAH community to ask who was the jerk in a situation she had in the delivery room not long ago.

The story starts with the pregnant woman (the OP) planning out that everyone who she cares about would be in the delivery room on the day that she went into labor. The plan was that both her mother and mother-in-law would be by her side helping her mentally and physically, while her grandmother would watch her other two kids outside of the delivery room. For it all to happen, the plan relied on her MIL driving both the mother and the grandmother with kids to the hospital when the OP went into labor.

The day when the woman finally went into labor, the calls were made to her mother to tell her to get herself, the grandmother and the kids ready for pickup, and to MIL to pick everyone up. After an hour and fifteen minutes, the mother-in-law showed up to the hospital alone, claiming that she wanted to “let everyone sleep” and just sat in the delivery room on her phone.

The OP angrily asked her to get up and go bring everyone else to the hospital, as they had planned out months in advance, but MIL refused to do that. So, after being enraged by MIL’s behavior, the woman told her to get out of the room and that she was dead to her. But the mother-in-law didn’t leave, saying that she didn’t do anything wrong, so eventually she had to be escorted out.

MIL’s behavior caused the woman in labor to say that she was dead to her and kick her out of the delivery room

Image credits: Vardan Papikyan (not the actual photo) 

The original poster claims that she cannot forgive her mother-in-law, because due to her behavior, her grandmother and her other 2 kids couldn’t be the first ones to meet her new child, just as they were promised, while her mother was able to get to the hospital only when she was already giving birth.

The woman ended up turning to the r/AITAH community asking if she was a jerk for saying to her MIL that she was dead to her, because there are some people telling her she was too harsh and made it a way bigger deal than it actually was.

The folks on Reddit unanimously decided that the jerk in this situation was definitely the mother-in-law.

There were quite a few responses stating that the MIL definitely threw this tantrum so she could be the only person in the delivery room, because she wasn’t there for the previous two.

Others were worried that her husband was the person who was telling her she overreacted, but the OP calmed them down saying that it wasn’t him, but rather the rest of his family.

There were even some claiming that the woman should try and keep the MIL out of her life at least for a little while. According to them, because of the MIL’s sinister actions, the woman was robbed of personal safety that is much needed during such a vulnerable event, therefore she deserves to be cut out of her life.

Image credits: Christian Bowen (not the actual photo) 

It is proven that having a support person in the delivery room is beneficial for a mother in labor. Women who have someone who is not from their health care team by their side during labor are likely to have shorter and more enjoyable labors and are less likely to use painkillers or even have C-sections. 

A mother’s support person must be someone they trust entirely and feel comfortable around and someone who is ready to be supportive all the way – from holding a mother’s hand to distracting her from pain or even mopping up blood. So, they need to make sure that this person won’t faint at the sight of needles, blood or other bodily fluids.

Some women choose to hire a doula to be by their side during labor. A doula is a person who helps emotionally or physically for a mother during pregnancy, during labor and some provide postpartum help. It should be noted that doulas are not medical professionals, thus they cannot deliver babies or provide medical care.

There’s no legal training requirement for doulas, only certification programs in which they complete around 30 hours of classes and attend at least 2-5 births.

So, since the fact that having a chosen support person in a delivery room helping a woman is very beneficial, it only proves the fact that the MIL is the jerk of the Reddit story. Just as the internet folks stated, the mother-in-law acted on her selfish desires and ended up disrupting the woman’s labor support system, which was very important to her.

The internet folks decided that the MIL was the jerk in the situation and caused the scene, deliberately trying to be the only person in the delivery room

Image credits: u/Background_Box463

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