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People Would Have Preferred To Know These 30 Life Lessons Sooner, As Shared In This Online Group
It’s nicer to learn from others’ mistakes because you don’t need to go through that unpleasant or traumatic experience yourself to realize that you need to make a different decision or act in a different way.
Even though it is safe to say that the most valuable and memorable lessons are the ones that you go through yourself, it doesn’t hurt to listen to what advice more experienced people can give, especially if it is not that obvious and can prevent serious consequences in the future. That’s why Reddit user oigoabuya asked the internet “What are the lessons you learnt too late in life?” to which people replied with some valuable knowledge.
More info: Reddit
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#1
Just because you're blood related to someone, doesn't mean that you owe them anything. Toxic people are toxic people and you are not required to give them a single ounce of your attention if they are hurting you.
Luke Branwen 2 years ago
Family is like an appendix - you only have one, but when it becomes toxic, you cut it off for the sake of your health.
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#2
Never put your education/ job / plans etc on hold for a boyfriend / girlfriend especially while in college, especially when you’re 19.
Amy Taylor 2 years ago
When I was 19 my brother was in university in England. I had never been to Europe (I live in CA) he offered me a free place to stay and wanted me to come out and travel all over Europe with him and his friends. My boyfriend at the time said he'd break up with me if I went, so I didn't go. Looking back, him leaving me over that would be reason enough to have gone.
#3
Listen to your gut instinct. If something feels off about a person or situation, there’s a reason. Believe it the first time and walk away
ArodTheHorrible 2 years ago
This is sound advice. You don't have to justify it, either... the fact that you are uncomfortable is reason enough to go
#4
Happiness is enjoying the things you have, not the things to come.
#5
Sometimes you can do everything right and still fail.
Headless Roach 2 years ago
They say success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm 🙃
#6
That saying NO can save you a lot of trouble down the line.
#7
I think, oddly, the lesson I learned is that there is no such thing as 'too late in life' - at 26, I was homeless, out of rehab, and broke. Things have changed dramatically for the better.
#8
Look after your knees and your teeth.
Russ Kincade 2 years ago
Brush at night to keep your teeth and brush in the morning to keep your friends!
#9
You shouldn’t care what your high school experience was good or bad or what your classmates think of you because who cares about high school after 18?
If high school was your peak you have a sh**ty life ahead
Headless Roach 2 years ago
I can barely remember my university... what an old headless roach I have become 😏
#10
That a death in the family brings out the worst in people.
Well-Dressed Wolf 2 years ago
My dad died last year. My mother is still lying to people and saying my dad is still alive. She refused to even tell his brother and sister that he died. It isn’t a mental issue on her part - she’s just a mean, narcissistic a-hole who likes soaking up the pity points she gets for “caring for a disabled husband”.
#11
That you can't please everyone so you shouldn't worry about trying to
Eat Dirt Crow 2 years ago
I can only please one person per day. Today's not your day. Tomorrow doesn't look good either.
#12
Don't bring things home from work.
I had a bad day at work. Came home and got in an argument with my gf about something...and stopped halfway. Yes, she really had done something, but the only reason I got so angry about it was because...I had already been angry, from work. Otherwise i might have just let it go.
From then on I learned to separate work from home. I was 28. I felt like this was a lesson I should have learned earlier.
#13
Your boss is NOT looking out for YOUR best interests. He is looking out for HIS best interests.
Corporate has no loyalty to you. You are just a replaceable cog.
Nice guys rarely get promoted. They just get more responsibility. Semi-aggressive advancement planning and prioritizing the advancement tasks over items specified in job description is about the only way to advance salary faster than what is paid to new hires. Even then jumping ship is usually the best way to advance salary and get more responsibility.
Hugh Cookson 2 years ago
Always make sure you get yourself into a position where you know more than anyone else does in the organisation or are not easy to replace ; then play mind games with your immediate superiors. Hints about leaving are good, leaving an unfinished CV on your desk is better. Words in ears are even better .....
#14
You shouldn’t try doing a backflip for the first time when you’re drunk.
ArodTheHorrible 2 years ago
There is much more to the story that taught this wisdom that I would love to hear
#15
I know this sounds wrong but hear me out. DONT do what you love for a living, unless it pays well. Research your career path before choosing one and prioritize potential earnings and time off. Do what gets you the most money and benefits with the least amount of time invested. Do what you love in your free time, making it your career can ultimately make you resent it and lose your enthusiasm for the hobby you love most. Almost every job becomes a mundane chore if you do it every day, no matter how much you enjoy it now. I know it’s anecdotal, but, I always loved wrenching on cars. I started tinkering long before I could drive. I’m damn good at it and made a career out of it. The problem is, doing it every day has made me lose interest in doing it for fun. I don’t have cool projects anymore. I see cars as basic transportation now and have no interest in building/modifying anything. The pay isn’t terrible, but it isn’t great either. If I could do it again I’d have kept it as a hobby and gone into a field that is boring but pays for REAL life outside of work. Ultimately work is a means to an end for most people and all of the high minded ideals of “do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life” stuff is b******t. Get that money, retire as soon as you can, and live life to the fullest while you can.
Chucky Cheezburger 2 years ago
So true. If you turn what you love to do for fun into something you have to do to survive, it quickly becomes no fun to do anymore.
#16
People aren't thinking about you even a fraction of the amount you think they're thinking about you.
You're noise in a lifetime of experiences and a busy mind. This is a good thing. It means you can just get what you need from people and not over think it, safe in the knowledge that they'll forget you almost immediately.
#17
1) Soul mates aren't a thing. 2) Learn to fight in a relationship without raising your voice and keep a check on your emotions, it's you and your SO against the problem not you against them.
Max M 2 years ago
Whem me and my gf moved together, i was not used to being yelled at, and she was used to yell during arguments from home. My brain made some kind of shut off, and made me think, this is to noisy, i go away from the noise. She got pissed but with time we found common ground, talking in normal volume about problems, and i didnt walk away.
#18
We all make mistakes, dont dwell on it
Mabelbabel 2 years ago
Don't dwell on it, certainly, but learn from it and find out how you can do better next time.
#19
If you made mistakes, always confront them and the consequences right away. Waiting doesn't make it better, it makes it worse.
Deborah Harris2 2 years ago
True just get it over and done with. Bottling something inside you just adds to the guilt.
#20
Budget save and invest
Boring af but makes a huge difference
#21
You can lose a finger wearing a ring.
Chucky Cheezburger 2 years ago
And that's why I don't wear a ring. I do industrial maintenance and could very easily lose a finger or worse. My wife would prefer to have me fully functional. She knows I'm not going anywhere, ring or no ring.
#22
1) You are not obliged to love your parents. This is a hard one but some parental behaviours get toxic and you can't possibly keep them happy constantly
2) You are not obliged to constantly help out / listen to people especially when they take too much help / vent to you too much. Let people make mistakes. Let them learn
3) Just because you did well in primary school doesn't mean everything will come to you automatically in life; learn to put real effort into your work
4) A lot of people you meet will be cold, cruel and selfish. You will get used. Life is a constant struggle to avoid being one of those people.
#23
People will tell you a lot of things, but their actions are what is important. Someone will tell you that they will always be there for you, but that is not guaranteed. They will say they want you to be happy, but then do things that hurt you. Sometimes without knowing, sometimes on purpose, sometimes because they are a coward.
#24
It's always better to do your work immediately rather than putting it off for later.
Deborah Harris2 2 years ago
I always leave the hardest task 'til last, I really wish I didn't.
#25
Be patient and wait. It's better to be alone than with someone that doesn't respect you.
No matter how much or good your are to someone, some of them will screw you over.
Always look after yourself first.
Start early with physical hobby and keep fit, you have one body and there is no replay.
If you love someone but they don't love you.. move on. It will hurt like hell but in the long run, you'll be happier.
Giving money doesn't equate to affection, the gratitude will be short lived and you'll only be an ATM to them in the near future.
#26
Looking back so far, here’s my list of gotta dos:
1. Get a skill. College, intern, trade school, self taught - doesn’t matter. Get a skill.
2. Minimize your debt. Do anything to stave off picking up loans, racking up credit cards. Even with a skill, if half your money goes to paying debt, you’re gonna have a bad time.
3. Don’t chase others (relationships). Be the best you possible. Read. Work out. Think. Be happy by yourself. People like people who have a story to tell. Don’t live through others.
Thomas Ewing 2 years ago
Don't be a clingy dependant. Stand on your own two feet like a solid citizen.
#27
Never allow someone to treat you as their therapist. If they tell you all their problems but get defensive about your simple requests, they are not worth your time.
#28
The value of responsibility, to me it's an ethical thing. Doing the right thing eases your conscience so much more than just doing what you feel like doing. Sure it can be stressful, but you sleep so much better and feel more at ease when you do what you know is right.
#30
That there IS hope for you to fix your mental health problems. I left things for 10 years not knowing there was decent help to be had. Although to be fair, things have progressed a lot since then
What do you think ?
Emma S 2 years ago
Don't use drugs or alcohol to make yourself feel better or to treat mental health issues. It makes the situation a lot worse because the withdrawals the next day make you more anxious, you'll probably end up owing someone an apology for something you said/did, you'll end up spending money you don't have and you'll end up feeling very embarrassed about your behaviour while your original problem is still there. Yes, I found this out the hard way.
Justacrow 2 years ago
Pot is legal in my state and people are weirded out that I won't partake. My family's history of substance abuse and addictive behaviors (addicted to the high, not that pot is chemically addictive) and my own mental health issues make me want to avoid it all out. I am fine with others using it, but I just do not want to get near the issues others in my family are going through
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Emma S 2 years ago
Don't use drugs or alcohol to make yourself feel better or to treat mental health issues. It makes the situation a lot worse because the withdrawals the next day make you more anxious, you'll probably end up owing someone an apology for something you said/did, you'll end up spending money you don't have and you'll end up feeling very embarrassed about your behaviour while your original problem is still there. Yes, I found this out the hard way.
Justacrow 2 years ago
Pot is legal in my state and people are weirded out that I won't partake. My family's history of substance abuse and addictive behaviors (addicted to the high, not that pot is chemically addictive) and my own mental health issues make me want to avoid it all out. I am fine with others using it, but I just do not want to get near the issues others in my family are going through
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