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Spanking Your Kids Can Affect Their Brain Development And This Psychologist Explains It On TikTok
Interview
Besides being a controversial and perhaps insufficiently covered topic, spanking to discipline children has received more attention in the past few days. There’s a new study out by Harvard researchers about how spanking is affecting children’s brain development in ways similar to more severe forms of violence. A psychologist on TikTok, Dr. Han Ren, PhD, who has over 96.2K followers and over 1.1M million likes, posted a video explaining the recent Harvard research as well as few other reels regarding the topic around children and spanking.
Bored Panda got a chance to discuss some issues with Dr. Ren and get to know her. Let us know in the comment section what your thoughts are about this attention-drawing and controversial practice!
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Dr. Han Ren, a licensed psychologist and school psychologist, stepped up in explaining the new research from Harvard about spanking children and its negative effects
Image credits: drhanren
Dr. Han Ren is a licensed psychologist and school psychologist in private practice, based in Austin, Texas. She is a mother of two and a cycle-breaker in intentionally working on not perpetuating generational patterns with how she raises her own children. Han started TikTok 6 months into the pandemic mostly as a creative outlet and a way to spread information about mental health. “I noticed there was a growing interest in mental health and therapist creators on the platform and thought ‘I could do that!’ I also noticed the lack of diversity in popular creators and the dearth of content specifically centering BIPOC individuals speaking to the complexities of mental health within our cultures. I decided to take a stab at it and my platform grew pretty quickly!” shared the doctor.
Image credits: drhanren
One of the new studies to come from researchers at Harvard used an fMRI machine to see the changes in different parts of 10-11-year-old children’s brains as they were shown pictures with different facial expressions and recorded the arousal in the prefrontal cortex. The brains of children who have been spanked demonstrated more arousal than normal and were just as severe as the patterns of the brains of children that experienced severe abuse. The evidence suggests that even mild spanking leads to similar brain development patterns as abuse does, which overall could mean that spanking leads to negative developmental outcomes.
Researchers looked at the prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain that’s responsible for executive function, decision-making, planning, and higher-order thinking
Image credits: drhanren
They also focused on brain activation in the part of the brain responsible for emotion, especially fear and anger
Image credits: drhanren
“We know that children whose families use corporal punishment are more likely to develop anxiety, depression, behavior problems, and other mental health problems, but many people don’t think about spanking as a form of violence,” claimed Katie A. McLaughlin, who is a John L. Loeb Associate Professor of the Social Sciences and director of the Stress & Development Lab in the Department of Psychology, and who also was the senior researcher on the study, as published in Child Development journal.
Image credits: drhanren
Turned out that kids who had been spanked had an especially high level of activation to fearful faces that was equal to that of kids who experienced severe abuse
Image credits: drhanren
Dr. Han doesn’t think that the parents, even of millennials, realized that spanking would cause harm for their children in the future. “It’s been generally regarded as an acceptable practice, and parents who use it tend to justify it as a separate thing from more severe forms of physical abuse. There are plenty of parents who have noted that they plan to continue to use this practice despite the evidence, as well as individuals who defend their parents for using it. Beliefs remain socially entrenched, but change is slow and I’m so glad it’s getting recognition and visibility.”
Image credits: drhanren
Dr. Ren stressed the fact that spanking is actually not a good practice to discipline children
Image credits: drhanren
Image credits: drhanren
“TikTok is definitely having a moment around spanking content. I noticed it coming up with many other creators, especially creators of color. I was surprised to see the amount of controversy and backlash in comments with people really doubling down on defending spanking. When I came across this article, I wanted to share the new scientific evidence against the use of this practice, especially since it differentiates mild spanking from abuse. I knew the topic was hot, but I didn’t expect it to go as viral as it did!” admitted Han.
Image credits: drhanren
@drhanrenTW: ##spanking. This is a hill I will die on. ##parenting ##childdevelopment♬ Morning – Liqwyd
Video credits: drhanren
Dr. Ren explained the demographics of the study, explaining the diversity and inclusion data
Image credits: drhanren
Image credits: drhanren
When it comes to addressing the topic of spanking and taking it into consideration by parents, Dr. Ren underlines how important awareness is. “There are many different ways to guide children and discourage undesired behavior. Parenting is a long game. I think we forget that we’re in the weeds sometimes. Spanking brings quick and temporary results, which feels more accessible to many parents. It’s worth noting that even with parents who don’t spank, the use of emotional control, threats, coercion, and intimidation bring about similar fear-based responses in children (I don’t have the brain scan data to support this, however).” She encourages parents to learn how to guide and nurture children to do the right thing through more gentle and loving strategies.
Image credits: drhanren
The psychologist was also asked to comment on Deater-Deckard’s research about cultural differences in outcomes for children who have experienced physical discipline
Image credits: drhanren
Image credits: drhanren
Ren also has a video commenting on Deater-Deckard research about cultural differences in outcomes for children who have experienced physical discipline. She explains that many of the studies focus on externalizing acting-out behaviors and showing that in countries where physical punishment is more normalized, there is no rise in acting-out social behavior.
Image credits: drhanren
Image credits: drhanren
Ren also shared that generational trauma and humans’ history of brutality against each other is playing a significant role in our cultural behavior and in what is considered to be the ‘norm’
Image credits: drhanren
In her video about the use of physical punishment in communities of color, she addresses the impacts of generations of enslavement and colonization. According to her, many communities of color that cling onto spanking as part of their culture historically come from constantly enslaved and oppressed backgrounds and that it makes sense to repeat what one knows and their ancestors knew, although it seems that it may be coming from love and the urge to keep children safe. But Dr. Ren points out that there is confusion between what’s cultural and what’s actually generational trauma and highlights that “just because this happened to us, that doesn’t mean we need to repeat it to our kids.”
Image credits: drhanren
Many of the habits and ideas behind certain behavior comes from what we know and is tied to our ancestors’ knowledge and understanding
Image credits: drhanren
Image credits: drhanren
Image credits: drhanren
In her posts, Dr. Ren reflects that spanking children will lead to mistrust of their caregivers and make them be sneaky regarding bad behavior, as they obviously don’t want to get punished and totally miss the understanding of the impact of their actions. She also challenges people’s standpoint when it comes to things that were once ‘normal’ such as smoking and drinking alcohol during pregnancy, and that some parents’ thought of “I was spanked and I turned out fine” might not be the case for many children.
Image credits: drhanren
Image credits: drhanren
She quotes Audre Lorde that “we cannot dismantle the master’s house with the master’s tools.” and pinpoints that some practices often come from a place of desperation, lack of viable alternatives, and the stressors of ongoing brutality and oppression.
This is what the people on TikTok shared in response to the topic of using spanking as a form of discipline for children
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What do you think ?
Deborah B 3 years ago
I was thinking "We were spanked, and we were fine." But actually, I wasn't fine. I was depressed and anxious by age 11, my first suicide attempt at 14. I grew up always afraid of other people's anger, afraid of contradicting or correcting people, unable to stand up for myself, afraid of asking for what I need, emotionally or materially. I wasn't fine. If you were spanked as a kid, you can probrably remember it; that gut clenching, shoulder tensing, heart sinking dread of "about to be spanked" then the lasting resentment, grief and humiliation. That feeling is what harms a child, I think, not the relatively brief sting of a minor spanking. We forget the vast majority of the accidental bumps and bruises of childhood. That gut-level fear and dread that sticks with you, as does the feeling of loss of the parent's love, and positive regard. That is what's damaging.
Linda McGuigan 3 years ago
I thought I was reading about myself I was spanked severely when I was 5 why I can't remember but every slap of her hand on my butt I remember. I remember her putting my brother into his room and then my mother disappeared and a monster came she mad me strip my bottom clothes off so it was skin on skin I remember pleading with her not to but she kept on and on my life was destroyed that afternoon I was bullied at school my first suicide attempt I was 15 and what followed was a life of fear and bad decisions I remember that day and 10 years ago I just didn't go back to visit her she is old and frail. I have 2 daughters and I never lifted a finger to any of them
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Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
Spanking and abuse are separate. A spank was "one swat of hand on butt with a sharp talk about why". Abuse was "throttled against wall". I KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. And, y'know what? they *both* preprogrammed my brain from age 2 onward to live in terror of getting anything wrong, ever, so that I was too terrifie dto move, speak, lest it make the pain happen. But NEVER SELF-DIAGNOSE. 1. Even doctors shouldn't and 2. you certainly do understand rules. I never acted out, FYI. I tried suicide instead. Let's chat about that, too. And that's all I got.
Aunt Messy 3 years ago
Believe her when she tells you the results of the brain scans then. It isn't as bad as what we went though, but it's bad. ...///... From the ages of about 3 to 17 when my mother kicked me out of the house (she was afraid the police might believe me if I showed them the bruises), my father systematically pounded on me. He didn't need an excuse. The attacks came from nowhere. His favorite thing to do was throw me on the ground and kick me with his work boot. He broke my orbital bone, nose, fingers, toes, cracked all of my ribs and bruised my kidneys to the point where I urinated blood. My mother let it happen - as long as she didn't see it, I was the liar. ...///... Eventually I did whatever the hell I wanted. I figured that if I was going to take a beating, I might as well have earned it. I never got caught.
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GeneralZod 3 years ago
I never understood why hitting a child with a weapon (belt) was OK, but if we were to do that our fellow adults it would be felony assault. "Spare the rod, spoil the child" is a horrible saying. If the only way you can discipline is through violence and fear then you are a really questionable parent.
Black Karen 3 years ago
"Spare the rod spoil the child" is one of the most misinterpreted quotes in the Bible. It doesn't mean to spank or beat your children. Jesus and his disciples ised a rod to guide themselves from place to place. The "rod" is not used as punishment but as guidance. Talking is guidance. Teaching is guidance. Quiet time and time out and losing priviledges- those are all guidance/rods. Its also what they used to guide their sheep. They never used them to beat their sheep. Such a horrible interpretation.
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Ambar 3 years ago
tbh I never thought of spanking that way, I just of it as a discipline but really when I look back at what I used to feel when I got spanked, all I see is fear, sadness, and just wanting to scream out loud about my feelings, this is be another reason why I don't want kids...out of fear that I might hit them and damage their growth. now all I see when I hear spanking is another form and excuse of abuse...
Ms.GB 3 years ago
Both my brother and I were spanked and sometimes more we both have depression and anxiety issues. I remember being so scared we would pee ourselves. My dad would always say this hurts me more than it hurts you, he believed he was doing the right thing but I can't say that it didn't vastly affect our emotional development and our relationship with him, I forgave because it's what he knew and it was well intentioned I don't know if my brother will ever truly forgive.
mac 3 years ago
I can't reconcile how my experience with spanking was so vastly different from most everyone else. Both my older brother and I were spanked. We both are reasonably well adjusted adults. We have not had any of the effects mentioned by others in the comments. I wonder if it was because my parents didn't just spank us period. They spanked us and then discussed why we got spanked afterward. I never felt like I was getting spanked for no reason. I didn't see my parents as people to be feared. I didn't get spanked often but the talks after helped me understand certain actions carried consequences. Maybe the talks were the difference? idk.
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
The fact you didn't feel fear is a large part of it, IMHO,, based on personal experience, PTSD peer group, etc. I'd say at a guess that when a child learns to live in fear of those it is instinctively supposed to trust, the mayhem really begins. Our whole household lived in fear of my dad's temper; we were often spanked, told why, but it wasn't a spank. It was a two-inch wide leather belt. Or held by the throat. Etc...
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Car addict 3 years ago
and i cant show this to my mom bc she will get offended and slap the living daylights out of me
Leah Helbig 3 years ago
I think it depends on the child. I was spanked as a kid because all other forms of discipline did not work for me. Only when i was spanked not abused did it impact me enough not to do it again Now some children those other punishments are enough. Kids have to be taught right from wrong and boundries. I dont regret getting spanked it helped me learn consequences and how to change my behavior. My parents did not abuse me in anyway they were good parents. But i am glad they loved me enough to not spare the rod and spoil the child
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
Yes, we do need to be taught. A swat on the butt is a swat on the butt. Being hit with a two-inch-wide leather belt is abuse. Get perspective, please, and FYI, we were taught to smile and say we weren't abused. B/c then we'd get hurt if we told the truth. So allow us a very different poV, please.
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Phica Afton 3 years ago
Whenever I see my siblings getting spanked, I am filled with fear because they would be crying and screaming. I absolutely hated it.
Sophie Foster 3 years ago
I got spanked as a kid and my parents still threaten corporal punishment. If they actually try I've realized that I can just fight back so we'll see how that goes.
Bird 3 years ago (edited)
There’s a line between spanking and child abuse. Spanking is just a simple smack to the butt. Spanking is good to discipline your kids, but abuse… that’s a whole different story,
Marlowe Fitzpatrik 3 years ago
Do you think there are no alternatives to discipline a child? Especially when the parents are bigger and supposedly smarter?
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Anderson B. da Silva 3 years ago
But they can crash if they are undisciplined, it's not fair! I do not agree with this method and I think they have to be beaten, only when they beat their brothers or beat up students in schools for fighting c**k like the bullies who beat teachers and bully their classmates deserve punishment from parents and school.
Martha Meyer 3 years ago
Illegal in plenty of countries for good reason! There is nothing "controversial" about it, it's just plain wrong.
Bettie-Jean Neal 3 years ago
I got spankings as a child and I'm perfectly fine. Some times with a hand, some times with a belt and the worst was with a switch I had to cut myself. I lived.
Martha Meyer 3 years ago
Living and being fine are two very different things.
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Carol Emory 3 years ago
What also damages a person's brain is seeing a super long post with multiple pictures that are unnecessary. I call BS on one thing. It depends on how and why spanking is used. My mother would smack us around at the drop of a hat. We were afraid of her and saw her as a tyrant. My father never laid a finger on me saved for one time that I seriously screwed up after he had told me multiple times to stop (not going into detail.) My father's restraint over all of those years let me know that I had seriously pushed things too far. He was majorly angry like I'd never seen before. I was not afraid of him...more that I was ashamed I'd disappointed him so much. It actually made our relationship better.
Lily Terrill 3 years ago
At this point we should stop spanking and just let them do what they want If they do harm or something then that's on them
Marlowe Fitzpatrik 3 years ago
citation: “It’s important to consider that corporal punishment does not impact every child the same way, and children can be resilient if exposed to potential adversities,” said Cuartas. “But the important message is that corporal punishment is a risk that can increase potential problems for children’s development, and following a precautionary principle, parents and policymakers should work toward trying to reduce its prevalence.” <---- from the article linked.
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
As I've said elsewhere in this: Spank: A swat on the butt, single swat, the end. Shocking, but not physically troubling. Abuse: A belt on that butt until you can't sit. It's not just the child. It's the parent.
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Commander Rex 3 years ago
Huh, either this is bull, or I’m just special. I favor the ladder. I grew up with spanking, I’d even be slapped if I acted up, I’m fine. Sure I have mental issues, but they weren’t a result of being hit as a child, they were a result from other issues I had growing up. Also can I get a link to this study? I want to read it, seems interesting enough.
Marlowe Fitzpatrik 3 years ago
You mean like the one on top of the article? https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2021/04/spanking-children-may-impair-their-brain-development/ Or maybe the original study, which is linked in the link? https://srcd.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/cdev.13565
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mph seti 3 years ago
The problem with negative reinforcement (ie: punishment for being 'bad') is that it mainly teaches people to get better at getting away with things, not to just not do bad things. Positive reinforcement (ie: reward for being 'good') on the other hand, actively encourage people to do the right thing.
soni w 3 years ago
My 3 siblings and I were never smacked. My mum had been horrifically abused as a child and she was never going to put that on us. All of us grew up to be kind adults, pretty much well adjusted. Just because we weren't spanked doesn't mean we don't have our fair share of issues. We were never afraid to do the wrong thing because there was no punishment that had a fear effect, (long long before devices and phones) so we did Alot of things that put us in extremely dangerous situations. Some of those have life long effects on mental health and our bodies. I would never ever condone violence but a slap on the butt here and there I believe, is acceptable.
StrawberryParfait 3 years ago
If you are at the point of assaulting your child and choosing to indulge your own anger and frustration in that moment, you have already failed as a parent. Hitting kids teaches them nothing good.
ScarlettofHydraIsland 3 years ago
I’m sending this to my mom, who’s still gone after me with the wooden spoon occasionally.
Persp Gold 3 years ago (edited)
Take a popular concept and make a video about something you know others will agree with and call that part of your career. I mean do we really need to credit this lady with a revelation? | This conclusion only makes sense if you have imaging for every part of a child's life. The brain reacts. That's what it does. She would understand imaging and brain function if she spent more time reading and less time making garunteed-popular-opinion videos. | Yes this sh-t triggers me. Im neuroscientist. Like, a real one. And I'm sick of jump-onto-consensus attempts at drawing attention to yourself. The first time I see a video present a fresh concept that isnt just someone's talking head, Ill commend them. But thats not going to happen anytime soon, is it? Because we keep glorifying these self-obsessed surface-understanding "professionals."
Keyy 3 years ago
PLEASE answer this one question for me and how you people would handle it .. lets say you have a child who is constantly hitting other children .. you've explained too the child why hitting is bad yet it continues .. you've taken the child to therapy everything is fine the doc says .. yet the child continues to hit other children .. youve taken away games ,, sent to room no play time no snacks no sweets .. yet everyday at school he hits another child .. finally the school has had enough and expelled the child .. now you have to take time from work to deal with this situation .. how would you discipline this child ??
lazy panda 3 years ago
Are...are you implying that the next step is to hit the child? Because that seems to be where the road is headed...
Load More Replies... Keyy 3 years ago
i wonder how many of you people in this comment thread actually have children and have had to discipline your child .. i did some research on dr Ren as well and it does not APPEAR that she has children either .. sometimes a stern talking too doesn't work .. just like with adults .. sometimes explaining why they shouldn't do something doesn't work .. sometimes being a rational sane person does not work with children .. and thats ook .. i am NOT an advocate for spanking .. i dont "spank" my children .. but i do pluck them on the knuckles ,, i do pinch them on the arm if they refuse to listen .. is that a "spanking" is that considered "abuse" ??
lazy panda 3 years ago
So when talking doesn't work, you just go straight to physical discipline?
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Le Box of Shame 3 years ago
oooh how progressive! how brilliant! how edgy!
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Requiem 3 years ago
90% of psychologists went into that field for non altruistic reasons, either they have psychological issues or just self serving
Linda Haney 3 years ago
I got spanked. Zero long term damage. It was scary when you knew when you were getting one haha! But it was never cruel, was never an act of rage. When I deliberately disobeyed my parents, I deserved it. Plus, God says that "he who spares the rod HATES his son." Proverbs 13:24. I trust Him more than I trust this lady.
Aunt Messy 3 years ago
That's actually a lie. Almost all people who were abused NEVER hurt their children or anyone else's.
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Requiem 3 years ago
no derpy, I was spanked but was also smart enough to know when I was pushing it and didnt like being in trouble. Also never been violent but I do know people who were raised with out punishment and had perfect up bringings only to become s**t heads and kill people.
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Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
Or being clumsy (normal for a child) or being ignorant of the world (normal for a child).... Get a grip. Preferably not on a paddle or belt, but on reality.
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Lara Mig 3 years ago
That's called assault and battery and people go to jail for that.
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Smutná_elfka 3 years ago
People don't "find anxiety", people got an anxiety disorder. Yes, it's true that it's becoming more and more common in developed world and it's a bad thing in general. But people that already have it can't just stop it.
Load More Replies... Deborah B 3 years ago
I was thinking "We were spanked, and we were fine." But actually, I wasn't fine. I was depressed and anxious by age 11, my first suicide attempt at 14. I grew up always afraid of other people's anger, afraid of contradicting or correcting people, unable to stand up for myself, afraid of asking for what I need, emotionally or materially. I wasn't fine. If you were spanked as a kid, you can probrably remember it; that gut clenching, shoulder tensing, heart sinking dread of "about to be spanked" then the lasting resentment, grief and humiliation. That feeling is what harms a child, I think, not the relatively brief sting of a minor spanking. We forget the vast majority of the accidental bumps and bruises of childhood. That gut-level fear and dread that sticks with you, as does the feeling of loss of the parent's love, and positive regard. That is what's damaging.
Linda McGuigan 3 years ago
I thought I was reading about myself I was spanked severely when I was 5 why I can't remember but every slap of her hand on my butt I remember. I remember her putting my brother into his room and then my mother disappeared and a monster came she mad me strip my bottom clothes off so it was skin on skin I remember pleading with her not to but she kept on and on my life was destroyed that afternoon I was bullied at school my first suicide attempt I was 15 and what followed was a life of fear and bad decisions I remember that day and 10 years ago I just didn't go back to visit her she is old and frail. I have 2 daughters and I never lifted a finger to any of them
Load More Replies... Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
Spanking and abuse are separate. A spank was "one swat of hand on butt with a sharp talk about why". Abuse was "throttled against wall". I KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. And, y'know what? they *both* preprogrammed my brain from age 2 onward to live in terror of getting anything wrong, ever, so that I was too terrifie dto move, speak, lest it make the pain happen. But NEVER SELF-DIAGNOSE. 1. Even doctors shouldn't and 2. you certainly do understand rules. I never acted out, FYI. I tried suicide instead. Let's chat about that, too. And that's all I got.
Aunt Messy 3 years ago
Believe her when she tells you the results of the brain scans then. It isn't as bad as what we went though, but it's bad. ...///... From the ages of about 3 to 17 when my mother kicked me out of the house (she was afraid the police might believe me if I showed them the bruises), my father systematically pounded on me. He didn't need an excuse. The attacks came from nowhere. His favorite thing to do was throw me on the ground and kick me with his work boot. He broke my orbital bone, nose, fingers, toes, cracked all of my ribs and bruised my kidneys to the point where I urinated blood. My mother let it happen - as long as she didn't see it, I was the liar. ...///... Eventually I did whatever the hell I wanted. I figured that if I was going to take a beating, I might as well have earned it. I never got caught.
Load More Replies... GeneralZod 3 years ago
I never understood why hitting a child with a weapon (belt) was OK, but if we were to do that our fellow adults it would be felony assault. "Spare the rod, spoil the child" is a horrible saying. If the only way you can discipline is through violence and fear then you are a really questionable parent.
Black Karen 3 years ago
"Spare the rod spoil the child" is one of the most misinterpreted quotes in the Bible. It doesn't mean to spank or beat your children. Jesus and his disciples ised a rod to guide themselves from place to place. The "rod" is not used as punishment but as guidance. Talking is guidance. Teaching is guidance. Quiet time and time out and losing priviledges- those are all guidance/rods. Its also what they used to guide their sheep. They never used them to beat their sheep. Such a horrible interpretation.
Load More Replies... Ambar 3 years ago
tbh I never thought of spanking that way, I just of it as a discipline but really when I look back at what I used to feel when I got spanked, all I see is fear, sadness, and just wanting to scream out loud about my feelings, this is be another reason why I don't want kids...out of fear that I might hit them and damage their growth. now all I see when I hear spanking is another form and excuse of abuse...
Ms.GB 3 years ago
Both my brother and I were spanked and sometimes more we both have depression and anxiety issues. I remember being so scared we would pee ourselves. My dad would always say this hurts me more than it hurts you, he believed he was doing the right thing but I can't say that it didn't vastly affect our emotional development and our relationship with him, I forgave because it's what he knew and it was well intentioned I don't know if my brother will ever truly forgive.
mac 3 years ago
I can't reconcile how my experience with spanking was so vastly different from most everyone else. Both my older brother and I were spanked. We both are reasonably well adjusted adults. We have not had any of the effects mentioned by others in the comments. I wonder if it was because my parents didn't just spank us period. They spanked us and then discussed why we got spanked afterward. I never felt like I was getting spanked for no reason. I didn't see my parents as people to be feared. I didn't get spanked often but the talks after helped me understand certain actions carried consequences. Maybe the talks were the difference? idk.
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
The fact you didn't feel fear is a large part of it, IMHO,, based on personal experience, PTSD peer group, etc. I'd say at a guess that when a child learns to live in fear of those it is instinctively supposed to trust, the mayhem really begins. Our whole household lived in fear of my dad's temper; we were often spanked, told why, but it wasn't a spank. It was a two-inch wide leather belt. Or held by the throat. Etc...
Load More Replies... Car addict 3 years ago
and i cant show this to my mom bc she will get offended and slap the living daylights out of me
Leah Helbig 3 years ago
I think it depends on the child. I was spanked as a kid because all other forms of discipline did not work for me. Only when i was spanked not abused did it impact me enough not to do it again Now some children those other punishments are enough. Kids have to be taught right from wrong and boundries. I dont regret getting spanked it helped me learn consequences and how to change my behavior. My parents did not abuse me in anyway they were good parents. But i am glad they loved me enough to not spare the rod and spoil the child
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
Yes, we do need to be taught. A swat on the butt is a swat on the butt. Being hit with a two-inch-wide leather belt is abuse. Get perspective, please, and FYI, we were taught to smile and say we weren't abused. B/c then we'd get hurt if we told the truth. So allow us a very different poV, please.
Load More Replies... Phica Afton 3 years ago
Whenever I see my siblings getting spanked, I am filled with fear because they would be crying and screaming. I absolutely hated it.
Sophie Foster 3 years ago
I got spanked as a kid and my parents still threaten corporal punishment. If they actually try I've realized that I can just fight back so we'll see how that goes.
Bird 3 years ago (edited)
There’s a line between spanking and child abuse. Spanking is just a simple smack to the butt. Spanking is good to discipline your kids, but abuse… that’s a whole different story,
Marlowe Fitzpatrik 3 years ago
Do you think there are no alternatives to discipline a child? Especially when the parents are bigger and supposedly smarter?
Load More Replies... Anderson B. da Silva 3 years ago
But they can crash if they are undisciplined, it's not fair! I do not agree with this method and I think they have to be beaten, only when they beat their brothers or beat up students in schools for fighting c**k like the bullies who beat teachers and bully their classmates deserve punishment from parents and school.
Martha Meyer 3 years ago
Illegal in plenty of countries for good reason! There is nothing "controversial" about it, it's just plain wrong.
Bettie-Jean Neal 3 years ago
I got spankings as a child and I'm perfectly fine. Some times with a hand, some times with a belt and the worst was with a switch I had to cut myself. I lived.
Martha Meyer 3 years ago
Living and being fine are two very different things.
Load More Replies... Carol Emory 3 years ago
What also damages a person's brain is seeing a super long post with multiple pictures that are unnecessary. I call BS on one thing. It depends on how and why spanking is used. My mother would smack us around at the drop of a hat. We were afraid of her and saw her as a tyrant. My father never laid a finger on me saved for one time that I seriously screwed up after he had told me multiple times to stop (not going into detail.) My father's restraint over all of those years let me know that I had seriously pushed things too far. He was majorly angry like I'd never seen before. I was not afraid of him...more that I was ashamed I'd disappointed him so much. It actually made our relationship better.
Lily Terrill 3 years ago
At this point we should stop spanking and just let them do what they want If they do harm or something then that's on them
Marlowe Fitzpatrik 3 years ago
citation: “It’s important to consider that corporal punishment does not impact every child the same way, and children can be resilient if exposed to potential adversities,” said Cuartas. “But the important message is that corporal punishment is a risk that can increase potential problems for children’s development, and following a precautionary principle, parents and policymakers should work toward trying to reduce its prevalence.” <---- from the article linked.
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
As I've said elsewhere in this: Spank: A swat on the butt, single swat, the end. Shocking, but not physically troubling. Abuse: A belt on that butt until you can't sit. It's not just the child. It's the parent.
Load More Replies... Commander Rex 3 years ago
Huh, either this is bull, or I’m just special. I favor the ladder. I grew up with spanking, I’d even be slapped if I acted up, I’m fine. Sure I have mental issues, but they weren’t a result of being hit as a child, they were a result from other issues I had growing up. Also can I get a link to this study? I want to read it, seems interesting enough.
Marlowe Fitzpatrik 3 years ago
You mean like the one on top of the article? https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2021/04/spanking-children-may-impair-their-brain-development/ Or maybe the original study, which is linked in the link? https://srcd.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/cdev.13565
Load More Replies... mph seti 3 years ago
The problem with negative reinforcement (ie: punishment for being 'bad') is that it mainly teaches people to get better at getting away with things, not to just not do bad things. Positive reinforcement (ie: reward for being 'good') on the other hand, actively encourage people to do the right thing.
soni w 3 years ago
My 3 siblings and I were never smacked. My mum had been horrifically abused as a child and she was never going to put that on us. All of us grew up to be kind adults, pretty much well adjusted. Just because we weren't spanked doesn't mean we don't have our fair share of issues. We were never afraid to do the wrong thing because there was no punishment that had a fear effect, (long long before devices and phones) so we did Alot of things that put us in extremely dangerous situations. Some of those have life long effects on mental health and our bodies. I would never ever condone violence but a slap on the butt here and there I believe, is acceptable.
StrawberryParfait 3 years ago
If you are at the point of assaulting your child and choosing to indulge your own anger and frustration in that moment, you have already failed as a parent. Hitting kids teaches them nothing good.
ScarlettofHydraIsland 3 years ago
I’m sending this to my mom, who’s still gone after me with the wooden spoon occasionally.
Persp Gold 3 years ago (edited)
Take a popular concept and make a video about something you know others will agree with and call that part of your career. I mean do we really need to credit this lady with a revelation? | This conclusion only makes sense if you have imaging for every part of a child's life. The brain reacts. That's what it does. She would understand imaging and brain function if she spent more time reading and less time making garunteed-popular-opinion videos. | Yes this sh-t triggers me. Im neuroscientist. Like, a real one. And I'm sick of jump-onto-consensus attempts at drawing attention to yourself. The first time I see a video present a fresh concept that isnt just someone's talking head, Ill commend them. But thats not going to happen anytime soon, is it? Because we keep glorifying these self-obsessed surface-understanding "professionals."
Keyy 3 years ago
PLEASE answer this one question for me and how you people would handle it .. lets say you have a child who is constantly hitting other children .. you've explained too the child why hitting is bad yet it continues .. you've taken the child to therapy everything is fine the doc says .. yet the child continues to hit other children .. youve taken away games ,, sent to room no play time no snacks no sweets .. yet everyday at school he hits another child .. finally the school has had enough and expelled the child .. now you have to take time from work to deal with this situation .. how would you discipline this child ??
lazy panda 3 years ago
Are...are you implying that the next step is to hit the child? Because that seems to be where the road is headed...
Load More Replies... Keyy 3 years ago
i wonder how many of you people in this comment thread actually have children and have had to discipline your child .. i did some research on dr Ren as well and it does not APPEAR that she has children either .. sometimes a stern talking too doesn't work .. just like with adults .. sometimes explaining why they shouldn't do something doesn't work .. sometimes being a rational sane person does not work with children .. and thats ook .. i am NOT an advocate for spanking .. i dont "spank" my children .. but i do pluck them on the knuckles ,, i do pinch them on the arm if they refuse to listen .. is that a "spanking" is that considered "abuse" ??
lazy panda 3 years ago
So when talking doesn't work, you just go straight to physical discipline?
Load More Replies... Le Box of Shame 3 years ago
oooh how progressive! how brilliant! how edgy!
Load More Replies... Requiem 3 years ago
90% of psychologists went into that field for non altruistic reasons, either they have psychological issues or just self serving
Linda Haney 3 years ago
I got spanked. Zero long term damage. It was scary when you knew when you were getting one haha! But it was never cruel, was never an act of rage. When I deliberately disobeyed my parents, I deserved it. Plus, God says that "he who spares the rod HATES his son." Proverbs 13:24. I trust Him more than I trust this lady.
Aunt Messy 3 years ago
That's actually a lie. Almost all people who were abused NEVER hurt their children or anyone else's.
Load More Replies... Requiem 3 years ago
no derpy, I was spanked but was also smart enough to know when I was pushing it and didnt like being in trouble. Also never been violent but I do know people who were raised with out punishment and had perfect up bringings only to become s**t heads and kill people.
Load More Replies... Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
Or being clumsy (normal for a child) or being ignorant of the world (normal for a child).... Get a grip. Preferably not on a paddle or belt, but on reality.
Load More Replies... Lara Mig 3 years ago
That's called assault and battery and people go to jail for that.
Load More Replies... Smutná_elfka 3 years ago
People don't "find anxiety", people got an anxiety disorder. Yes, it's true that it's becoming more and more common in developed world and it's a bad thing in general. But people that already have it can't just stop it.
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