Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
20
Parents See Neighbors Having A Party With Kids And Send Their Own Children There, Get Unexpected Response
Interview With Expert
Kids’ birthday parties are on an entirely different level compared to those of adults. Of course, bouncy castles, Disney character impersonators, and food trucks can be a lot of fun, but organizing such a celebration often leaves parents with a plethora of questions. Should they prepare goodie bags for the children? When do they cut the cake? And most importantly, should they invite the neighbors?
Since the relationship between redditor Brilliant_Sound3258 and her neighbors wasn’t the coziest, she decided not to extend the birthday invitation to them. However, this didn’t stop them from showing up, making the whole thing awkward.
Scroll down to find the full story and a conversation with Gemma Bradley director and founder of Cheshire Party Planner, who kindly agreed to tell us all about guest lists and kids’ birthday parties.
RELATED:
Ensuring that no one feels left out while planning a birthday celebration can be tough
Image credits: Jon Tyson / unsplash (not the actual photo)
This woman thought her neighbors wouldn’t mind not being invited. That is until they unexpectedly showed up
Image credits: Kindel Media / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Sadman Chowdhury / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Miriam Salgado / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Brilliant_Sound3258
“If they are friends with children in the neighborhood then yes invite them, but not if you don’t know them”
The guest list of a kids’ party is quite a big deal. It’s not just about the numbers; it has become almost a microcosm of social dynamics that can break or make the celebration. And the parents are usually the ones left to decide who makes the cut.
Essentially, the end goal is to have an inclusive guest list with people who are closest to your kid and are a part of their support system. Gemma Bradley director and founder of Cheshire Party Planner tells Bored Panda that the usual guest list for 5-year-olds and above mostly includes the children from their group at school. “If it’s a small school, then you could invite the whole class. However, if there are 60 in a year group, like at my daughter’s school, you have to just choose who the birthday child is friendly with,” she mentions.
She further suggests, “If they are under 5, I would say to just invite family and the child’s close friends from nursery or family friends. The child, whatever age, tends to hang out with their best friends anyway so as long as they are there, the day will be memorable for the child, if all you can afford is a small party.
When it comes to neighbors, Bradley says, “If they are friends with children in the neighborhood then yes invite them, but not if you don’t know them.” In case they still show up without an invitation she recommends being polite. “Just diplomatically say, ‘Oh I didn’t you were coming, I’m sure there’ll be enough food for them to join in’.
Then at least you’ve planted the seed that if there isn’t enough food to go around, it’s because some people have just shown up. At a quiet moment, just say to the parent, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know your child was coming so I haven’t got a party bag for them (if you don’t have a spare) but I’m sure they’ll be a piece of cake for them to take.”
If it so happens that your child doesn’t end up invited, it’s important not to feel instantly hurt
Image credits: Liza Summer / pexels (not the actual photo)
Some additional kid’s birthday party rules that Bradly emphasizes are always RSVPing even if the child won’t be able to attend. “The host has to have at least a week (2 weeks would be better!) to let the caterers know how many people they are making the food for and the host needs to know how big the cake needs to be and how many party bags to make. And do let them know if there are any allergies to make the caterers aware,” she explains.
She also says, “I’m sure most people know this but bring a birthday card and present obviously! However, kids have so much these days and parents only have so much room in the house. So sometimes it’s nice to ask the parents if a voucher would be better for the birthday girl or boy to pick something themselves. One year, my daughter got six jewelry-making kits! It can stop wastage which is good for the environment.”
If it so happens that your child doesn’t end up invited, it’s important not to feel hurt instantly. Most likely, this has nothing to do with your kid not being popular or liked by other children. Perhaps the party didn’t have a big enough budget, or they were only inviting a select group of kids from their class or soccer team. It also could have been a girls-only or boys-only celebration.
Besides, not getting an invitation can be a great time to teach your children that “they can’t always be invited to everything.” The earlier they learn to deal with rejection in healthy ways, the more hurt feelings they’ll avoid in the future.
Most readers supported the woman escorting her neighbors from the party
Meanwhile, others thought it was rude
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
Newsletter
Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls
By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.
Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!
What do you think ?
BewilderedBanana 5 months ago
The YTA comments are insane. Yes, they're just kids and yes, a couple of cupcakes wouldn't make a huge difference. But that's not the issue - the issue is the entitlement of the neighbour parents. Boundaries needed to be set and this was the only way to do it. And apparently, sending the kids back wasn't even enough coz they came back with the parents :)
Trillian 5 months ago
This exactly. I do feel sorry for the kids but people like their parents continue to exist because too many people accomodate this sort of behavior.
Load More Replies...
Debbie 5 months ago
Wow, how can anyone think "YTA"? It's not just two extra kids. If there is only a select group of people, anyone not invited has impact on the interactions. Watching two extra kids you hardly know... Party crashing is not nice.
Floeckchen 5 months ago
Because the YTA commentors are propably of the same mindset as the neighbors
Load More Replies...
BobiJK 5 months ago
I'm sure the neighborhood leeches showed up with covered dishes and a gift for the birthday girl.
Cooking Panda 5 months ago (edited)
If the kids had invited themselves to the party out of curiosity (maybe they happen to walk by and see the festivity), I'd give them some treats and send them home. But "mommy said I could go" changes everything. It means that the parents signed off on the intrusive behavior.
Hope Tirendi 5 months ago
Plus it's a stretch but what if the kid was allergic to something in the cupcakes?? Then Mommy would sue their butts off.
Load More Replies...
justagirl 5 months ago
I don't yet the YTA people at all! Especially since OP does mention not being on particularly friendly terms! Somebody PLEASE explain how OP's "humanity is nonexistent"?
FluffyDreg 5 months ago
Because if you don't give a child every they want and don't share all your things with them then you are a bully.
Load More Replies...
lenka 5 months ago
Sounds like its time to turn your semi-fenced yard into a fully fenced yard.
Weasel Wise 5 months ago
The yta people are insane. Apparently, in their world, if neighbors show up to your house uninvited, it's rude to ask them to leave rather than allowing them to do whatever they want?! Just, wow.
Joann Hart 5 months ago
Turn off those lights at night so they don't think you're home
Load More Replies...
Kyra Heiker 5 months ago
I see there are some entitled people in the comments who don't seem to understand that their way of thinking is wrong. If you're not invited to an event or a party or anything you do not go. Those neighbors are crazy entitled to think they can just send their kids over for free cupcakes and free babysitting.
Anna Ekberg 5 months ago
Community event? A private birthday is NOT a community event, entitled much?! Jeez, what is wrong with some people?! Oh and the YTA people can go kick rocks.
Insomniac 5 months ago
You realize that some of us are from cultures focused on community and hospitality, where it would be considered rude or cruel to turn a child away like that? We don't need to kick rocks for seeing things differently.
Load More Replies...
Hphizzle 5 months ago
I grew up in a suburban neighborhood. Most yards didn’t have fences. If your neighbor friends look like they were having a party, you knew to stay away. It was a family event. At the very least, maybe walk by like you’re going elsewhere and see if they invite you if they happen to see you. Backyard parties are not community events.
Laserleader 5 months ago
Or even front yard parties. Even if it's in an partment complex, and they are holding it in a shared space... still not a community event.
Load More Replies... penguin 5 months ago
Aside from the situation (children come uninvited and want sweets), I would never give food to children I don't know without the parents' consent. There are too many allergies/intolerances/diets these days and I don't know what children are allowed to eat and what they aren't.
Michelle Rutherford 5 months ago
YTA comments make me laugh. Did the neighbour send their kids back with a card and a gift? No? No cake for you then. Since when are we obliged to give cake to all kids because it's mean otherwise? Entitlement is reaching new heights...
Joann Hart 5 months ago
Can you imagine if every kid in the neighborhood was as rude as this family? They'd have to run to the store for more cupcakes
Load More Replies...
KatSaidWhat 5 months ago (edited)
YTA - lol at those people. it starts with one cupcake and then escalates to every single occasion. Weaponising your entitled kids and your own entitled @ss to assume you can just join a private party? Hell no, felicia.
René Sauer 5 months ago
Did all these YTA never think, for even a moment, that the food was maybe limited? That maybe OP didn´t have enough for two extra kids?
Tabitha 5 months ago
We used to call people like the neighbors "party crashers" and "freeloaders". What do you want to bet the parents used to crash parties they weren't invited to when they were kids, teenagers, young adults---maybe they have already done it to every single neighbor with kids, and OP was just the latest target for them to freeload a free meal and cake.
Trundle 5 months ago
Every single YTA voter thinks their nose picking, Diaper wearing 7 year old is the worlds golden child
Insomniac 5 months ago
No, I don't have kids. I think my cat is awesome, though. I would never go anywhere uninvited. But I know a lot about childhood trauma, and I would not personally subject children to humiliation no matter how stupid their parents were. Those kids are going to remember this day for a very long time, and it will be a painful memory. Its their parents' fault. I just think OP could have handled it in a way that didn't humiliate the children.
Load More Replies...
Pocky Stix 5 months ago
I *personally* wouldn't care if the kids stayed, but I definitely wouldn't expect everyone to be letting random kids into their yard
Did I say that out loud? (he/him)cis/het 5 months ago
There's an old saying over here. "Good fences make good neighbours." I don't understand the thinking behind not having proper fencing between property. However entitled you may be,you simply can't just walk into someone else's occasion here.
Joann Hart 5 months ago
Some HOAs don't allow fences. Why I will never live in one
Load More Replies...
Eileen Riverside 5 months ago
I wonder if all the YTA comments would change if you discussed how you didn't have enough cupcakes or goody bags because they weren't invited??
Erin Brockett 5 months ago
You just don't invite yourself or your children to a private party even though you are neighbors & wave every once in a while. Straight up creepy: yes everyone's opinions are different on things. Yeah i probably would have gave em a cupcake and told them its time to go home though. Just because i have birthday party's for my kids and i have had it happen before and had no idea who these kids were. But a private party is a private party: Having children doesn't make it okay to intrude on someone else's property and help urself. LMAO. Maybe they come from somewhere that does that kind of thing. Honestly you really don't need to say anything back to them unless you feel you need to. They were in the wrong & thought if they came with the kids they would get in.
Dawn Harris 5 months ago
I can't believe some people thought the OP was the AH 🤷♀️🤔 The parents sent their kids to a party they weren't invited to It was a Family party, the parents never should have sent their kids over and to top it off, the parents came back later with the kids in tow OP is NTA
Shadowed Pokefan 5 months ago
Personally I say nta there is so much that could've gone wrong firstly it was a private party for family and family adjacents, second giving the kids any food after "my mommy said we could come over" is rewarding bad behavior regardless of if you had extra cupcakes it only takes one allergic reaction or dietary issue to make the entitled parents sue your @ss, thirdly sending the kids home with dad should've been a sign that the kids weren't invited and to not try to press further it only takes one show of leniency for it to be a problem "my kids were allowed last time why not this time" and I'm sure the ops husband probably said something about it being a family affair, fourth and honestly most important who in their right mind sends their kid to their neighbors house without a parent or elder sibling with just verbal permission it honestly sounds like the neighbor parents didn't want to deal with their kids and a party just so happened to have been going on maybe call or ask next time
SageHare37 5 months ago
Those neighbors are nuts. Parties in someone's yard is a private event. And I think all the "YTA" people are crazy. We all want to believe our kids are safe, but I cannot fathom someone sending their kids, alone, to a party where they don't know the adults well. And as OP, I would not want assumed liability of some random kids. After being walked home, the parents should have mailed OP an apology. By all means befriend your neighbors, invite them to a BBQ, maybe your kids will be invited to a party someday if your families hit it off. Mooching and sending your kids to a stranger's house is not ok.
Alex Mosby 5 months ago
I grew up in a neighborhood where kids birthday parties were absolutely neighborhood events. Still, the OP is not an AH for not hosting the neighbors. Some events are private and it's ok to set boundaries.
Rita Rose 5 months ago
To all the YTA people - I see you're sat in your garden, so I'm gonna send my kids over to play, is that OK?
Insomniac 5 months ago
If your kids showed up I'd give them a cup of iced tea, chat with them a bit, perhaps play a game of croquet. Then I'd bring them home and give you an earful you'd never forget about teaching your children to trespass, neglecting them, etc., along with a detailed list of the consequences if it happened again. But I would not do it in your children's earshot, because they didn't know they weren't welcome, and I'm not going to humiliate a child because their parents are stupid.
Load More Replies...
Shadow 5 months ago
The people on this post calling OP TA are in truth AH's and obviously raising entitled, spoiled brats themselves!! The neighbors kids were not 4 yrs old, but 8 or 9? Far too old NOT to know respect for others property, to know how to knock on a door or gate before entering, thus trespassing. The parents of the part crasher kids are teaching their kids everything wrong and you call OP an AH for not giving the poor wee ones a cupcake? What if they came home and found the kids in their pool? In their home watching T.V.? It's called boundaries and those thinking that OP is in the wrong, are raising AH's that we all will be writing about soon enough.
Insomniac 5 months ago
Children don't know what they're not taught. Their parents set them up. I don't think the OP was inherently wrong, but I know that the occasion will remain in those children's memories as an awful one. Personally, I don't believe in punishing children for the sins of their parents, and as someone who suffers from complex trauma, there is no way I'm going to contribute to that in a child. I think the kinder thing would have been to just let the kids stay, then have it out with the parents afterwards, where the children cannot hear it. Threaten to call the police if they do it again, or CPS. Tell the parents how out of line they were, by all means. But just because I wouldn't want to hurt children who are being raised by incompetent parents doesn't make me an AH. I never go where I'm not invited. My cat is a spoilt brat, so I guess you're right on that count. But not wanting to upset children doesn't make me a bad person.
Load More Replies...
Suzie 5 months ago
NTA. Your daughter's birthday party is not a community event. Although I'd probably have handed them a cupcake and sent them home. If your yard is only partially fenced, I'd make it completely fenced with a locked gate to prevent a repeat incident.
Seanette Blaylock 5 months ago
Feeding them treats encourages repeat performances. Besides, if you don't know someone's food allergies or dietary limitations (even at 8-9yo, type 1 diabetes COULD be a thing, for example), you're opening yourself up to a na$ty law$uit if there's something in there Snookums and/or Pweshus has a bad reaction to.
Load More Replies...
The Starsong Princess 5 months ago
You would only be TA if you attended several parties at their house and haven’t reciprocated. But there’s nothing in the letter that indicates this.
Cara Boardwine 5 months ago
Not saying YTA, but I think this family missed an opportunity to invite the neighbors and build a bit better relationship. I think it's good to know your neighbors, watch each other's back, and you never know when you might need a good neighbor. NTA, but short-sighted at the chance to be the good neighbor. Coming invited isn't cool, but extending an invitation is.
Sarah nashold 5 months ago
I would probably have either let the kids stay if they were well behaved or sent them home with cupcakes if there were enough. After the family came back after being sent back I may have said this is a private event not a community even if they left a note saying you crushed their children I'd leave a note back with a couple slices of birthday cake explaining it was nothing personal against them as neighbors but it wasn't a neighborhood event it was a private event with a specific headcount and you were caught off guard with them party crashing so you asked them to leave.. the thing is weather they were in the wrong or simply misunderstood the vibe, or their kids just wanted to play, as long as you live there you will be neighbors and while it's ok to have a firm boarder with the neighbors it's better to keep a friendly relationship with the people who share your property line.. if they didn't want them there that is fine say I only planned enough food for x but send some cake later
Eliza May 5 months ago
Neighbor kid chokes / allergics out on a cupcake - "You MONSTERS! You killed our unsupervised, uninvited child!" Thoroughly agree these delusionals need to understand what a 'community' event is, and unless they saw ither neughbors & their kids there,and posters spouting, 'COME ONE, COME ALL!' on neighborhood utility poles, THIS was not it. The NERVE! 😳
Angela Gautreaux Barnes 5 months ago
NTA. But those parents sure are! My note would go something like this, "I am APPALLED that you thought it was ok to just send your kids over to a PARTY w/out an invitation. I am even more APPALLED that you thought it was ok to party crash w/your kids w/out an invitation. This wasn't a street party, it was a PRIVATE party, in our backyard! It is the HEIGHT of RUDENESS to just show up, uninvited. I have no idea who taught you such inappropriate behavior, but they did you no favors, and I STRONGLY encourage you NOT to pass this behavior on to your children. It will NOT serve them well, in the future." I might also throw it in a book of etiquette when I put it in their mailbox. They know what they did was shady AF.
Kelly Flynn 5 months ago
I get both sides. Especially the mom, budget and planning may wear on congeniality when it comes to party crashers, no matter what the age. It would have been an excellent time for the uninvited parents to take their children to the park or for a snow cone, so they wouldn't feel left out and bewildered. Parents are the ones ultimately left to encouraging their kids to overlook a possible hurt that could fester between acquaintances.
Insomniac 5 months ago
The neighbour parents set their children up for rejection and humiliation by sending them over. They knew their kids weren't invited and could have been sent off, but they probably wanted an afternoon to themselves. Yes, they should have used it as a teaching moment, but only caring parents do that. Bringing the kids back after they'd been sent home created even more humiliation, and those children will not easily forget it. The parents were looking to shame the OP; they must have known they wouldn't be welcome, but they wanted to make a point, and they did it by subjecting their kids to further humiliation. The neighbour parents are giant AH. I think the OP could have been kinder by letting the kids stay when they first arrived and then having it out with the parents afterward. All the adults got caught up in the power struggle, but the kids are the ones who had to endure humiliation and rejection (because that is how a child would interpret that).
Load More Replies...
laura lee 5 months ago
The neighbors are def wrong, but you could show the kids generosity, that never hurts you.
Charlotte 5 months ago
Depends on your culture. In the US of A, generosity to kids can quickly turn into a lawsuit if the kid eats something that doesn't agree with them
Load More Replies... Reverse Pancake 5 months ago
Wow with the YTA comments. What they don't understand is that clearly these parents have gotten away with infiltrating other people's lives without question and they are now teaching their children that they can do the same. I can absolutely beleive these parents use their children to get free things all the time and when they grow up they are just going to pass on that entitled behavior and be little shits to everyone around them for their entire lives. Children should be taught boundaries and how to handle situations when they are told no...something I fear these parents don't (or wont) do. The people saying YTA are 100% entitled individuals who probably vote for socialist communist lifestyle and feed of welfare.
Joann Hart 5 months ago
NTA I guess if their parents don't know rules, then someone can teach the children. No invitation means you were not invited. Family and personal friends of family. They found their way over, they can find their way back.
HUH? 5 months ago
People saying just give them cupcakes. That’s lawsuit waiting to happen. Kids could be allergic to whatever is in them end up in the hospital then parents are ready to sue. They weren’t invited so they get nothing. Maybe invite them over another time for playdate. What’s next they see cars at the house thanksgiving and invite themselves to dinner? Or send their kids over for Christmas?
JessSayin' 5 months ago
The entitlement of people is an epidemic. I don't care how old your uninvited kid is, they're still uninvited and aren't going to get special treatment just bc they're young. That's what the neighbors were counting on, your grace, when they have none of their own. Same for these YTA comments. All these people that would've embraced the uninvited kids, are the same kind of entitled people as the neighbors. Just bc they have no backbone doesn't mean you don't have to. Good for you for sticking to healthy boundaries. As for the note, toss it and don't waste another thought on it. They have their opinion but are cowards in addition to moochers. Theres no reasoning with people that delusional.
Sera 5 months ago
I literally did meet one of my best friends in childhood by climbing halfway up a fence and asking if I could have a hot dog during her little brother's birthday and I still think these people are NTA. A friends and family gathering in your own yard is not a public event your neighbors are entitled to.
Mi Mi 5 months ago
The audacity of the parents. What happened to you are not invited so stay at home. You and the organizers of the party are not friends why would you send your children to the neighbor's house. That was a teaching moment there. Speak to the children and let them know they will not be invited to everything. Sending the children for someone to pity them. .To make matters worse they show up then a letter berating them appears in the mailbox. Those people need to get their act together and train their children right. If they continue so they will be made shame regularly.
Insomniac 5 months ago
The parents are lazy and wanted an afternoon to themselves. They didn't care if their kids were rejected or humiliated. Then, when OP called their bluff, they subjected their kids to further humiliation by taking them back over. Those parents are horrible people.
Load More Replies... Cat_Whisperer 5 months ago
The main issue is that, if they just let it go and allowed the kids to stay, then the neighbors would think it’s okay to keep doing this.
Insomniac 5 months ago
Not if you go to the parents afterwards and point out little things like trespassing and child neglect. I'd make it clear that I was not willing to humiliate their kids this time, but if they pulled that stunt again, I'd make things very difficult for the parents.
Load More Replies...
lynn jepson 5 months ago
wow...you are a piece of work. Basically showing your kids how to be stingy, rude and cold hearted all at once Way to go. Let the kids stay, but definitely talk to the parents and nip this in the bud before the next party. Question...whycarent you friendlier with your neighbors?
Charlotte 5 months ago
Why would they be friendlier with their neighbors? Sharing a street doesn't mean you necessarily have anything in common with someone and it certainly doesn't mean you have the time or emotional space for more relationships
Load More Replies...
Erin E 5 months ago
NTA. Finish the fence or rent someplace next time, because people this clueless can't take a hint. I wonder how the people who say YTA would feel if someone crashed their private party
Insomniac 5 months ago
My whole life, my family has fed pretty much anyone who comes to the door. Homeless people sometimes show up at our back fence, and my dad asks me to prepare food and he brings it out to them. He warns them that they will not be fed if he isn't home and then tells them he isn't home much (so we don't get them coming daily, and if he isn't home we ignore them because there is a huge d**g problem here and some get violent and he doesn't want us to face that). If someone is so lonely and desperate they show up uninvited to a party, I'm not going to turn them away when it's no trouble to give them a cupcake. If it's a child, I lay down the law with the parents after the fact, but I won't humiliate the child. I am never bothered by a few extra people so long as they're not causing trouble. But that's how my family does things.
Load More Replies...
Heather Coyle 5 months ago
People that are saying YTA. Put yourselves in the shoes of the birthday girl and her parents. You wouldn't want someone crashing your child's or children's birthday party so why is okay for someone else kid
Insomniac 5 months ago
I personally would not care so long as the uninvited guest isn't causing problems. If parents are sending their kids over, knowing they weren't invited, I would have it out with them out of the children's earshot and tell them I'll call CPS on them if they keep sending their kids over when I haven't invited, but I won't humiliate a child. As to adult parties, I tend to make too much food, so if an extra guest shows, I don't have to deal with as many leftovers. If I notice someone making a habit of what I feel is taking advantage of me, I tell them they are no longer welcome, but I've only had to do that twice. Sometimes people are lonely and sad, and it's no skin off my nose if they have a burger in my yard when 20 other people are doing the same thing.
Load More Replies...
Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 4 months ago
The entitlement and ignorance dripping off thr YTAs is amazing. They deserve even more of a F off than the random neighbors do
Lee Gilliland 4 months ago
You probably will need some No Trespassing signs and some cameras for your yard, I will guarantee those kids will be back. If they are, it's time to make a call to the police. It is evident the parents are not listening to you.
katie moriarty 4 months ago
Hello? Liability anyone? What if the kids were allergic to stuff or fell and harmed themselves on your property. Nta at all and ppl saying otherwise are very shortsighted.
Ruth Watry 4 months ago
YTA folks are basically asking them to encourage children to act in an inappropriate manner. You do not attend events that you are not invited to.
Sam Kenway 4 months ago
I'm more stunned by the "children's party expert" assuming everyone hires a caterer for a children's birthday party. Really?
Pandroid Rebellion 5 months ago
The people who said YTA have never been subjected to entitled neighbors. You give an inch, they take your lawn mower. Good fences make good neighbors. Some lessons in life are painful and embarrassing but it does not make them any less valuable. Showing up where you are not invited and being told to leave was one such lesson. NTA.
Meagan Glaser 5 months ago
The YTA really forgot that there's a birthday girl, didn't they? They're treating it like this was a random backyard barbeque and the only issue is being able to afford the food. I've been the kid whose mom allowed random folks to crash any event of mine, for fear of being seen as rude. It is NOT fun to have strangers suddenly invade your party. The types of kids who are a-ok doing this are the types who are rude to your friends, hog everything and spoil the games. It's no longer your party, it's a community event. But screw the kid whose special day this is, two random kids might hear "no" and that will scar them for life!!
Hodge Elmwood 5 months ago
The ones saying YTA are nuts. Very likely they only had as many cupcakes as there were guests. Which guests were they supposed to leave out in order to include the uninvited neighbors' kids? Those kids were sent over there by their parents; they probably didn't even know there was a party happening until their parents send them over, and then they had the audacity to come back with the kids?? These people are freeloaders. No one is obligated to feed a kid that just shows up at your house.
Patty Moore 5 months ago
I would include the kids in the party and talk to parents later. Are you sure there aren't cultural issues why they would think it's a community event (from a different country)? Maybe parents do need to be told...
Tracy Rieon Hall 5 months ago
NTA I would've personally walked them back to their home and asked their parents wtf was wrong with them just sending their children to my child's birthday party and they weren't even invited? Also that type of rude behavior won't be tolerated period. Not caring if I hurt your feelings but this is just rude never send your children over to my home again
patricia Torres 5 months ago
People have been conveniently, entitled. Crashing a children's birthday is creepy. Because it's all about kids, you need to know who's there. People can't just walk in. Yes, this wasn't a community event, it was personal, family only event, aka nonya, to the community. More importantly using their own kids to intrude. I gave a cake to my neighbors but I never assumed we were best friends and we always had short chats. I even made french bread for my neighbors every time I made bread and they loved having hot delicious bread, always thanked me but I never assumed we were invited to parties. I made bread because I wanted to, not to gain a special place. I knew we watched out for one another and that was more important to me. People have their own lives even if you're neighborly,it's rude to assume anything, without invites. You may need to place private property signs , no trespassing. You did good walking kids and speaking clearly to non compliant nosy parents.
Kay Burns 5 months ago
The party planner says let them stay? She condones party crashing? That seems a little over accommodating. Neighbors are trespassing if not invited, does not matter the reason. I don't feel someone who plans events should encourage gate crashing. And subtle hints don't work on people who participate in this sort of behavior.
Jersey Peach 5 months ago
The fact that they had to leave a note as opposed to making a phone call tells me they either DONT have OPs number (telling me they aren't close enough to just show up uninvited!) or they aren't comfortable enough with OP to have an actual conversation (which tells me they aren't close enough to show up uninvited!!). OP was absolutely correct...nip it in the bud be cause her entitled neighbors don't have boundaries and are raising their children to not respect boundaries.
Lucky 8969 5 months ago
I would have cut a cupcake in Half for them to split and told them to leave still for sure. Like I'm not gonna be mid handing a kid a cupcake and just take it back in their face but I'm not going to keep someone's kids and have that liability. Definitely nta though as they clearly needed to stand their ground with no exceptions in this particular situation.
Stacey Lu 5 months ago
When I was little, we lived in a duplex, 4 kids in my family ages 1, 3, 4 and 6. My older siblings birthdays are a week apart in October, they were turning 5 (m) and 7 (f). The other half of the duplex had 2 kids ages maybe 8 (m) and 4 or 5 (f). They hadn't lived there a year yet, maybe 6 months. We weren't friends with any of them. My mom threw one party for both my siblings in the backyard (which is fenced). There were about 8 kids there, us 4, 2 that used to live next door (our landlord, now still my parents best friends after 50 years) and 2 other kids who were kids of friends of my parents. Then I remember all of a sudden there were more kids...our neighbors 2 kids hopped the fence, landing in the middle of the table we were all sitting at!!! Said their mom said they could come over! My mom was speechless! She let them stay, then had words with their mother afterward, which landed on deaf ears. To this day, we still call weird families with zero social skills and parents who pus
Stacey Lu 5 months ago
Push their kids on everybody else "Workman's"! Lmfao. Yes, yta, as far as the kids are concerned, its not their fault their parents are idiots. But nta in general. The kids should have been allowed to stay unless your daughter REALLY didn't want them there and not made to feel bad or unwanted. Then you should have spoken to the mom after the party out of earshot from the kids and explained they were not invited. And to keep it from being awkward, you allowed them to stay because its not their fault they have an insensitive mother.
Load More Replies...
Venom Drop 5 months ago
Stating it's a humanity thing because it would be nice if humans were more loving and caring towards their neighbors. Someone mentioned the kids using the pool. My aunt opened up her pool to the neighborhood. Days of old where Welcome mats really met WELCOME. But, in this particular situation It is probably for the best op didn't deal with these specific neighbors. Stating a birthday party is a neighborhood event crazy person material.
Claire Ferguson 5 months ago
NTA, am very friendly with my neighbour, our kids are always in one of our gardens but I definitely wouldn't be sending mine over to hers if she was having a party and she wasn't invited, don't think she would mind even if I did but that's just cheeky.
Dresden Merz 5 months ago
YTA, she should have given the kids cupcakes but then still have Dad take them home, however dad should have spoken to the neighbor kids’ parents at that time and kindly and tactfully set the boundary “We were so happy to share b-day cupcakes with Thing 1 and Thing 2, I’m glad they could come by to say hi but I’m bringing them home now since it’s Daughter’s princess party and she was allowed to choose [number] of friends to invite today. Did you guys see the Learning Center’s outdoor camp starts soon? Maybe we can set up a car pool if all of you do the camp again this year. Ok take care, talk to you soon!”
Jenelle620 5 months ago
No way would I give neighbors kids cupcakes at a party they weren't invited to. That makes them think it's ok to just go up to any party they see and join it. It enforces that even more after their mom already telling them it's ok. It is NOT ok to just join someone elses party. It has nothing to do with the cost of some food. People that think this is acceptable and that they should be given something just because they are kids are insane. Well actually they are probably like these parents
Melissa anderson 5 months ago
It’s not a community event. It was a PRIVATE birthday party for family members and their friends. The self entitled neighbors who want free food by crashing a private party can go pound sand.
Rhonda Markem 5 months ago
Years ago....Cub Scout Troop met at our house pre-Halloween. Had a mini-pumpkin Hunt. A mom said kids across street are flipping us off. I chewed them out sent them home/called Moms. Explained why the exclusion from "Our Party".
Bette 5 months ago
Have to agree with everyone who took exception to the YTA comments. The entitlement of the neighbors whose children were sent home; STILL missed the salient point! They were NOT invited!! To add to their obtuseness they criticized the hosts for not allowing their gate-crashing!!
Melany Van Every 5 months ago
A block party (do they still have those?) Is a community event. You neighbor's birthday party for their kid is not.
Mandie Zimmer 5 months ago
Give a mouse a cookie, they will want a glass of milk. This is how Karens are created. OP was right to send them away.
Laserleader 5 months ago (edited)
NTA personal boundaries should be taught to kids, and the parents purposefully saying their kids can crash your party is not OK. Plus for all those who say "it's just cupcakes" haven't bought them for a kids party recently. Each one could be expensive and counted down to the number of guests exactly. If there were extras, then I would have taken them next door AFTER the party if I wanted, but NEVER when the parents show up and demand they join.
Tyranamar Seuss 5 months ago
I would've given them cupcakes too. I would've invited them to the party. If I hadn't and they showed up I would've let them stay and then maybe had a talk with the parents later. But this woman was within her rights to do what she did. My family is much more relaxed about this type of stuff but kids need to know a lot of people aren't and parties are invitation only. It's OK they get this lesson now. I remember the first time I had a set,of friends who acted shocked I came over without calling before (80's kid). I thought they were really weird. They thought I was really weird. It was good for me to know some families are more formal.
Load More Replies...
BewilderedBanana 5 months ago
The YTA comments are insane. Yes, they're just kids and yes, a couple of cupcakes wouldn't make a huge difference. But that's not the issue - the issue is the entitlement of the neighbour parents. Boundaries needed to be set and this was the only way to do it. And apparently, sending the kids back wasn't even enough coz they came back with the parents :)
Trillian 5 months ago
This exactly. I do feel sorry for the kids but people like their parents continue to exist because too many people accomodate this sort of behavior.
Load More Replies... Debbie 5 months ago
Wow, how can anyone think "YTA"? It's not just two extra kids. If there is only a select group of people, anyone not invited has impact on the interactions. Watching two extra kids you hardly know... Party crashing is not nice.
Floeckchen 5 months ago
Because the YTA commentors are propably of the same mindset as the neighbors
Load More Replies... BobiJK 5 months ago
I'm sure the neighborhood leeches showed up with covered dishes and a gift for the birthday girl.
Cooking Panda 5 months ago (edited)
If the kids had invited themselves to the party out of curiosity (maybe they happen to walk by and see the festivity), I'd give them some treats and send them home. But "mommy said I could go" changes everything. It means that the parents signed off on the intrusive behavior.
Hope Tirendi 5 months ago
Plus it's a stretch but what if the kid was allergic to something in the cupcakes?? Then Mommy would sue their butts off.
Load More Replies... justagirl 5 months ago
I don't yet the YTA people at all! Especially since OP does mention not being on particularly friendly terms! Somebody PLEASE explain how OP's "humanity is nonexistent"?
FluffyDreg 5 months ago
Because if you don't give a child every they want and don't share all your things with them then you are a bully.
Load More Replies... lenka 5 months ago
Sounds like its time to turn your semi-fenced yard into a fully fenced yard.
Weasel Wise 5 months ago
The yta people are insane. Apparently, in their world, if neighbors show up to your house uninvited, it's rude to ask them to leave rather than allowing them to do whatever they want?! Just, wow.
Joann Hart 5 months ago
Turn off those lights at night so they don't think you're home
Load More Replies... Kyra Heiker 5 months ago
I see there are some entitled people in the comments who don't seem to understand that their way of thinking is wrong. If you're not invited to an event or a party or anything you do not go. Those neighbors are crazy entitled to think they can just send their kids over for free cupcakes and free babysitting.
Anna Ekberg 5 months ago
Community event? A private birthday is NOT a community event, entitled much?! Jeez, what is wrong with some people?! Oh and the YTA people can go kick rocks.
Insomniac 5 months ago
You realize that some of us are from cultures focused on community and hospitality, where it would be considered rude or cruel to turn a child away like that? We don't need to kick rocks for seeing things differently.
Load More Replies... Hphizzle 5 months ago
I grew up in a suburban neighborhood. Most yards didn’t have fences. If your neighbor friends look like they were having a party, you knew to stay away. It was a family event. At the very least, maybe walk by like you’re going elsewhere and see if they invite you if they happen to see you. Backyard parties are not community events.
Laserleader 5 months ago
Or even front yard parties. Even if it's in an partment complex, and they are holding it in a shared space... still not a community event.
Load More Replies... penguin 5 months ago
Aside from the situation (children come uninvited and want sweets), I would never give food to children I don't know without the parents' consent. There are too many allergies/intolerances/diets these days and I don't know what children are allowed to eat and what they aren't.
Michelle Rutherford 5 months ago
YTA comments make me laugh. Did the neighbour send their kids back with a card and a gift? No? No cake for you then. Since when are we obliged to give cake to all kids because it's mean otherwise? Entitlement is reaching new heights...
Joann Hart 5 months ago
Can you imagine if every kid in the neighborhood was as rude as this family? They'd have to run to the store for more cupcakes
Load More Replies... KatSaidWhat 5 months ago (edited)
YTA - lol at those people. it starts with one cupcake and then escalates to every single occasion. Weaponising your entitled kids and your own entitled @ss to assume you can just join a private party? Hell no, felicia.
René Sauer 5 months ago
Did all these YTA never think, for even a moment, that the food was maybe limited? That maybe OP didn´t have enough for two extra kids?
Tabitha 5 months ago
We used to call people like the neighbors "party crashers" and "freeloaders". What do you want to bet the parents used to crash parties they weren't invited to when they were kids, teenagers, young adults---maybe they have already done it to every single neighbor with kids, and OP was just the latest target for them to freeload a free meal and cake.
Trundle 5 months ago
Every single YTA voter thinks their nose picking, Diaper wearing 7 year old is the worlds golden child
Insomniac 5 months ago
No, I don't have kids. I think my cat is awesome, though. I would never go anywhere uninvited. But I know a lot about childhood trauma, and I would not personally subject children to humiliation no matter how stupid their parents were. Those kids are going to remember this day for a very long time, and it will be a painful memory. Its their parents' fault. I just think OP could have handled it in a way that didn't humiliate the children.
Load More Replies... Pocky Stix 5 months ago
I *personally* wouldn't care if the kids stayed, but I definitely wouldn't expect everyone to be letting random kids into their yard
Did I say that out loud? (he/him)cis/het 5 months ago
There's an old saying over here. "Good fences make good neighbours." I don't understand the thinking behind not having proper fencing between property. However entitled you may be,you simply can't just walk into someone else's occasion here.
Joann Hart 5 months ago
Some HOAs don't allow fences. Why I will never live in one
Load More Replies... Eileen Riverside 5 months ago
I wonder if all the YTA comments would change if you discussed how you didn't have enough cupcakes or goody bags because they weren't invited??
Erin Brockett 5 months ago
You just don't invite yourself or your children to a private party even though you are neighbors & wave every once in a while. Straight up creepy: yes everyone's opinions are different on things. Yeah i probably would have gave em a cupcake and told them its time to go home though. Just because i have birthday party's for my kids and i have had it happen before and had no idea who these kids were. But a private party is a private party: Having children doesn't make it okay to intrude on someone else's property and help urself. LMAO. Maybe they come from somewhere that does that kind of thing. Honestly you really don't need to say anything back to them unless you feel you need to. They were in the wrong & thought if they came with the kids they would get in.
Dawn Harris 5 months ago
I can't believe some people thought the OP was the AH 🤷♀️🤔 The parents sent their kids to a party they weren't invited to It was a Family party, the parents never should have sent their kids over and to top it off, the parents came back later with the kids in tow OP is NTA
Shadowed Pokefan 5 months ago
Personally I say nta there is so much that could've gone wrong firstly it was a private party for family and family adjacents, second giving the kids any food after "my mommy said we could come over" is rewarding bad behavior regardless of if you had extra cupcakes it only takes one allergic reaction or dietary issue to make the entitled parents sue your @ss, thirdly sending the kids home with dad should've been a sign that the kids weren't invited and to not try to press further it only takes one show of leniency for it to be a problem "my kids were allowed last time why not this time" and I'm sure the ops husband probably said something about it being a family affair, fourth and honestly most important who in their right mind sends their kid to their neighbors house without a parent or elder sibling with just verbal permission it honestly sounds like the neighbor parents didn't want to deal with their kids and a party just so happened to have been going on maybe call or ask next time
SageHare37 5 months ago
Those neighbors are nuts. Parties in someone's yard is a private event. And I think all the "YTA" people are crazy. We all want to believe our kids are safe, but I cannot fathom someone sending their kids, alone, to a party where they don't know the adults well. And as OP, I would not want assumed liability of some random kids. After being walked home, the parents should have mailed OP an apology. By all means befriend your neighbors, invite them to a BBQ, maybe your kids will be invited to a party someday if your families hit it off. Mooching and sending your kids to a stranger's house is not ok.
Alex Mosby 5 months ago
I grew up in a neighborhood where kids birthday parties were absolutely neighborhood events. Still, the OP is not an AH for not hosting the neighbors. Some events are private and it's ok to set boundaries.
Rita Rose 5 months ago
To all the YTA people - I see you're sat in your garden, so I'm gonna send my kids over to play, is that OK?
Insomniac 5 months ago
If your kids showed up I'd give them a cup of iced tea, chat with them a bit, perhaps play a game of croquet. Then I'd bring them home and give you an earful you'd never forget about teaching your children to trespass, neglecting them, etc., along with a detailed list of the consequences if it happened again. But I would not do it in your children's earshot, because they didn't know they weren't welcome, and I'm not going to humiliate a child because their parents are stupid.
Load More Replies... Shadow 5 months ago
The people on this post calling OP TA are in truth AH's and obviously raising entitled, spoiled brats themselves!! The neighbors kids were not 4 yrs old, but 8 or 9? Far too old NOT to know respect for others property, to know how to knock on a door or gate before entering, thus trespassing. The parents of the part crasher kids are teaching their kids everything wrong and you call OP an AH for not giving the poor wee ones a cupcake? What if they came home and found the kids in their pool? In their home watching T.V.? It's called boundaries and those thinking that OP is in the wrong, are raising AH's that we all will be writing about soon enough.
Insomniac 5 months ago
Children don't know what they're not taught. Their parents set them up. I don't think the OP was inherently wrong, but I know that the occasion will remain in those children's memories as an awful one. Personally, I don't believe in punishing children for the sins of their parents, and as someone who suffers from complex trauma, there is no way I'm going to contribute to that in a child. I think the kinder thing would have been to just let the kids stay, then have it out with the parents afterwards, where the children cannot hear it. Threaten to call the police if they do it again, or CPS. Tell the parents how out of line they were, by all means. But just because I wouldn't want to hurt children who are being raised by incompetent parents doesn't make me an AH. I never go where I'm not invited. My cat is a spoilt brat, so I guess you're right on that count. But not wanting to upset children doesn't make me a bad person.
Load More Replies... Suzie 5 months ago
NTA. Your daughter's birthday party is not a community event. Although I'd probably have handed them a cupcake and sent them home. If your yard is only partially fenced, I'd make it completely fenced with a locked gate to prevent a repeat incident.
Seanette Blaylock 5 months ago
Feeding them treats encourages repeat performances. Besides, if you don't know someone's food allergies or dietary limitations (even at 8-9yo, type 1 diabetes COULD be a thing, for example), you're opening yourself up to a na$ty law$uit if there's something in there Snookums and/or Pweshus has a bad reaction to.
Load More Replies... The Starsong Princess 5 months ago
You would only be TA if you attended several parties at their house and haven’t reciprocated. But there’s nothing in the letter that indicates this.
Cara Boardwine 5 months ago
Not saying YTA, but I think this family missed an opportunity to invite the neighbors and build a bit better relationship. I think it's good to know your neighbors, watch each other's back, and you never know when you might need a good neighbor. NTA, but short-sighted at the chance to be the good neighbor. Coming invited isn't cool, but extending an invitation is.
Sarah nashold 5 months ago
I would probably have either let the kids stay if they were well behaved or sent them home with cupcakes if there were enough. After the family came back after being sent back I may have said this is a private event not a community even if they left a note saying you crushed their children I'd leave a note back with a couple slices of birthday cake explaining it was nothing personal against them as neighbors but it wasn't a neighborhood event it was a private event with a specific headcount and you were caught off guard with them party crashing so you asked them to leave.. the thing is weather they were in the wrong or simply misunderstood the vibe, or their kids just wanted to play, as long as you live there you will be neighbors and while it's ok to have a firm boarder with the neighbors it's better to keep a friendly relationship with the people who share your property line.. if they didn't want them there that is fine say I only planned enough food for x but send some cake later
Eliza May 5 months ago
Neighbor kid chokes / allergics out on a cupcake - "You MONSTERS! You killed our unsupervised, uninvited child!" Thoroughly agree these delusionals need to understand what a 'community' event is, and unless they saw ither neughbors & their kids there,and posters spouting, 'COME ONE, COME ALL!' on neighborhood utility poles, THIS was not it. The NERVE! 😳
Angela Gautreaux Barnes 5 months ago
NTA. But those parents sure are! My note would go something like this, "I am APPALLED that you thought it was ok to just send your kids over to a PARTY w/out an invitation. I am even more APPALLED that you thought it was ok to party crash w/your kids w/out an invitation. This wasn't a street party, it was a PRIVATE party, in our backyard! It is the HEIGHT of RUDENESS to just show up, uninvited. I have no idea who taught you such inappropriate behavior, but they did you no favors, and I STRONGLY encourage you NOT to pass this behavior on to your children. It will NOT serve them well, in the future." I might also throw it in a book of etiquette when I put it in their mailbox. They know what they did was shady AF.
Kelly Flynn 5 months ago
I get both sides. Especially the mom, budget and planning may wear on congeniality when it comes to party crashers, no matter what the age. It would have been an excellent time for the uninvited parents to take their children to the park or for a snow cone, so they wouldn't feel left out and bewildered. Parents are the ones ultimately left to encouraging their kids to overlook a possible hurt that could fester between acquaintances.
Insomniac 5 months ago
The neighbour parents set their children up for rejection and humiliation by sending them over. They knew their kids weren't invited and could have been sent off, but they probably wanted an afternoon to themselves. Yes, they should have used it as a teaching moment, but only caring parents do that. Bringing the kids back after they'd been sent home created even more humiliation, and those children will not easily forget it. The parents were looking to shame the OP; they must have known they wouldn't be welcome, but they wanted to make a point, and they did it by subjecting their kids to further humiliation. The neighbour parents are giant AH. I think the OP could have been kinder by letting the kids stay when they first arrived and then having it out with the parents afterward. All the adults got caught up in the power struggle, but the kids are the ones who had to endure humiliation and rejection (because that is how a child would interpret that).
Load More Replies... laura lee 5 months ago
The neighbors are def wrong, but you could show the kids generosity, that never hurts you.
Charlotte 5 months ago
Depends on your culture. In the US of A, generosity to kids can quickly turn into a lawsuit if the kid eats something that doesn't agree with them
Load More Replies... Reverse Pancake 5 months ago
Wow with the YTA comments. What they don't understand is that clearly these parents have gotten away with infiltrating other people's lives without question and they are now teaching their children that they can do the same. I can absolutely beleive these parents use their children to get free things all the time and when they grow up they are just going to pass on that entitled behavior and be little shits to everyone around them for their entire lives. Children should be taught boundaries and how to handle situations when they are told no...something I fear these parents don't (or wont) do. The people saying YTA are 100% entitled individuals who probably vote for socialist communist lifestyle and feed of welfare.
Joann Hart 5 months ago
NTA I guess if their parents don't know rules, then someone can teach the children. No invitation means you were not invited. Family and personal friends of family. They found their way over, they can find their way back.
HUH? 5 months ago
People saying just give them cupcakes. That’s lawsuit waiting to happen. Kids could be allergic to whatever is in them end up in the hospital then parents are ready to sue. They weren’t invited so they get nothing. Maybe invite them over another time for playdate. What’s next they see cars at the house thanksgiving and invite themselves to dinner? Or send their kids over for Christmas?
JessSayin' 5 months ago
The entitlement of people is an epidemic. I don't care how old your uninvited kid is, they're still uninvited and aren't going to get special treatment just bc they're young. That's what the neighbors were counting on, your grace, when they have none of their own. Same for these YTA comments. All these people that would've embraced the uninvited kids, are the same kind of entitled people as the neighbors. Just bc they have no backbone doesn't mean you don't have to. Good for you for sticking to healthy boundaries. As for the note, toss it and don't waste another thought on it. They have their opinion but are cowards in addition to moochers. Theres no reasoning with people that delusional.
Sera 5 months ago
I literally did meet one of my best friends in childhood by climbing halfway up a fence and asking if I could have a hot dog during her little brother's birthday and I still think these people are NTA. A friends and family gathering in your own yard is not a public event your neighbors are entitled to.
Mi Mi 5 months ago
The audacity of the parents. What happened to you are not invited so stay at home. You and the organizers of the party are not friends why would you send your children to the neighbor's house. That was a teaching moment there. Speak to the children and let them know they will not be invited to everything. Sending the children for someone to pity them. .To make matters worse they show up then a letter berating them appears in the mailbox. Those people need to get their act together and train their children right. If they continue so they will be made shame regularly.
Insomniac 5 months ago
The parents are lazy and wanted an afternoon to themselves. They didn't care if their kids were rejected or humiliated. Then, when OP called their bluff, they subjected their kids to further humiliation by taking them back over. Those parents are horrible people.
Load More Replies... Cat_Whisperer 5 months ago
The main issue is that, if they just let it go and allowed the kids to stay, then the neighbors would think it’s okay to keep doing this.
Insomniac 5 months ago
Not if you go to the parents afterwards and point out little things like trespassing and child neglect. I'd make it clear that I was not willing to humiliate their kids this time, but if they pulled that stunt again, I'd make things very difficult for the parents.
Load More Replies... lynn jepson 5 months ago
wow...you are a piece of work. Basically showing your kids how to be stingy, rude and cold hearted all at once Way to go. Let the kids stay, but definitely talk to the parents and nip this in the bud before the next party. Question...whycarent you friendlier with your neighbors?
Charlotte 5 months ago
Why would they be friendlier with their neighbors? Sharing a street doesn't mean you necessarily have anything in common with someone and it certainly doesn't mean you have the time or emotional space for more relationships
Load More Replies... Erin E 5 months ago
NTA. Finish the fence or rent someplace next time, because people this clueless can't take a hint. I wonder how the people who say YTA would feel if someone crashed their private party
Insomniac 5 months ago
My whole life, my family has fed pretty much anyone who comes to the door. Homeless people sometimes show up at our back fence, and my dad asks me to prepare food and he brings it out to them. He warns them that they will not be fed if he isn't home and then tells them he isn't home much (so we don't get them coming daily, and if he isn't home we ignore them because there is a huge d**g problem here and some get violent and he doesn't want us to face that). If someone is so lonely and desperate they show up uninvited to a party, I'm not going to turn them away when it's no trouble to give them a cupcake. If it's a child, I lay down the law with the parents after the fact, but I won't humiliate the child. I am never bothered by a few extra people so long as they're not causing trouble. But that's how my family does things.
Load More Replies... Heather Coyle 5 months ago
People that are saying YTA. Put yourselves in the shoes of the birthday girl and her parents. You wouldn't want someone crashing your child's or children's birthday party so why is okay for someone else kid
Insomniac 5 months ago
I personally would not care so long as the uninvited guest isn't causing problems. If parents are sending their kids over, knowing they weren't invited, I would have it out with them out of the children's earshot and tell them I'll call CPS on them if they keep sending their kids over when I haven't invited, but I won't humiliate a child. As to adult parties, I tend to make too much food, so if an extra guest shows, I don't have to deal with as many leftovers. If I notice someone making a habit of what I feel is taking advantage of me, I tell them they are no longer welcome, but I've only had to do that twice. Sometimes people are lonely and sad, and it's no skin off my nose if they have a burger in my yard when 20 other people are doing the same thing.
Load More Replies... Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 4 months ago
The entitlement and ignorance dripping off thr YTAs is amazing. They deserve even more of a F off than the random neighbors do
Lee Gilliland 4 months ago
You probably will need some No Trespassing signs and some cameras for your yard, I will guarantee those kids will be back. If they are, it's time to make a call to the police. It is evident the parents are not listening to you.
katie moriarty 4 months ago
Hello? Liability anyone? What if the kids were allergic to stuff or fell and harmed themselves on your property. Nta at all and ppl saying otherwise are very shortsighted.
Ruth Watry 4 months ago
YTA folks are basically asking them to encourage children to act in an inappropriate manner. You do not attend events that you are not invited to.
Sam Kenway 4 months ago
I'm more stunned by the "children's party expert" assuming everyone hires a caterer for a children's birthday party. Really?
Pandroid Rebellion 5 months ago
The people who said YTA have never been subjected to entitled neighbors. You give an inch, they take your lawn mower. Good fences make good neighbors. Some lessons in life are painful and embarrassing but it does not make them any less valuable. Showing up where you are not invited and being told to leave was one such lesson. NTA.
Meagan Glaser 5 months ago
The YTA really forgot that there's a birthday girl, didn't they? They're treating it like this was a random backyard barbeque and the only issue is being able to afford the food. I've been the kid whose mom allowed random folks to crash any event of mine, for fear of being seen as rude. It is NOT fun to have strangers suddenly invade your party. The types of kids who are a-ok doing this are the types who are rude to your friends, hog everything and spoil the games. It's no longer your party, it's a community event. But screw the kid whose special day this is, two random kids might hear "no" and that will scar them for life!!
Hodge Elmwood 5 months ago
The ones saying YTA are nuts. Very likely they only had as many cupcakes as there were guests. Which guests were they supposed to leave out in order to include the uninvited neighbors' kids? Those kids were sent over there by their parents; they probably didn't even know there was a party happening until their parents send them over, and then they had the audacity to come back with the kids?? These people are freeloaders. No one is obligated to feed a kid that just shows up at your house.
Patty Moore 5 months ago
I would include the kids in the party and talk to parents later. Are you sure there aren't cultural issues why they would think it's a community event (from a different country)? Maybe parents do need to be told...
Tracy Rieon Hall 5 months ago
NTA I would've personally walked them back to their home and asked their parents wtf was wrong with them just sending their children to my child's birthday party and they weren't even invited? Also that type of rude behavior won't be tolerated period. Not caring if I hurt your feelings but this is just rude never send your children over to my home again
patricia Torres 5 months ago
People have been conveniently, entitled. Crashing a children's birthday is creepy. Because it's all about kids, you need to know who's there. People can't just walk in. Yes, this wasn't a community event, it was personal, family only event, aka nonya, to the community. More importantly using their own kids to intrude. I gave a cake to my neighbors but I never assumed we were best friends and we always had short chats. I even made french bread for my neighbors every time I made bread and they loved having hot delicious bread, always thanked me but I never assumed we were invited to parties. I made bread because I wanted to, not to gain a special place. I knew we watched out for one another and that was more important to me. People have their own lives even if you're neighborly,it's rude to assume anything, without invites. You may need to place private property signs , no trespassing. You did good walking kids and speaking clearly to non compliant nosy parents.
Kay Burns 5 months ago
The party planner says let them stay? She condones party crashing? That seems a little over accommodating. Neighbors are trespassing if not invited, does not matter the reason. I don't feel someone who plans events should encourage gate crashing. And subtle hints don't work on people who participate in this sort of behavior.
Jersey Peach 5 months ago
The fact that they had to leave a note as opposed to making a phone call tells me they either DONT have OPs number (telling me they aren't close enough to just show up uninvited!) or they aren't comfortable enough with OP to have an actual conversation (which tells me they aren't close enough to show up uninvited!!). OP was absolutely correct...nip it in the bud be cause her entitled neighbors don't have boundaries and are raising their children to not respect boundaries.
Lucky 8969 5 months ago
I would have cut a cupcake in Half for them to split and told them to leave still for sure. Like I'm not gonna be mid handing a kid a cupcake and just take it back in their face but I'm not going to keep someone's kids and have that liability. Definitely nta though as they clearly needed to stand their ground with no exceptions in this particular situation.
Stacey Lu 5 months ago
When I was little, we lived in a duplex, 4 kids in my family ages 1, 3, 4 and 6. My older siblings birthdays are a week apart in October, they were turning 5 (m) and 7 (f). The other half of the duplex had 2 kids ages maybe 8 (m) and 4 or 5 (f). They hadn't lived there a year yet, maybe 6 months. We weren't friends with any of them. My mom threw one party for both my siblings in the backyard (which is fenced). There were about 8 kids there, us 4, 2 that used to live next door (our landlord, now still my parents best friends after 50 years) and 2 other kids who were kids of friends of my parents. Then I remember all of a sudden there were more kids...our neighbors 2 kids hopped the fence, landing in the middle of the table we were all sitting at!!! Said their mom said they could come over! My mom was speechless! She let them stay, then had words with their mother afterward, which landed on deaf ears. To this day, we still call weird families with zero social skills and parents who pus
Stacey Lu 5 months ago
Push their kids on everybody else "Workman's"! Lmfao. Yes, yta, as far as the kids are concerned, its not their fault their parents are idiots. But nta in general. The kids should have been allowed to stay unless your daughter REALLY didn't want them there and not made to feel bad or unwanted. Then you should have spoken to the mom after the party out of earshot from the kids and explained they were not invited. And to keep it from being awkward, you allowed them to stay because its not their fault they have an insensitive mother.
Load More Replies... Venom Drop 5 months ago
Stating it's a humanity thing because it would be nice if humans were more loving and caring towards their neighbors. Someone mentioned the kids using the pool. My aunt opened up her pool to the neighborhood. Days of old where Welcome mats really met WELCOME. But, in this particular situation It is probably for the best op didn't deal with these specific neighbors. Stating a birthday party is a neighborhood event crazy person material.
Claire Ferguson 5 months ago
NTA, am very friendly with my neighbour, our kids are always in one of our gardens but I definitely wouldn't be sending mine over to hers if she was having a party and she wasn't invited, don't think she would mind even if I did but that's just cheeky.
Dresden Merz 5 months ago
YTA, she should have given the kids cupcakes but then still have Dad take them home, however dad should have spoken to the neighbor kids’ parents at that time and kindly and tactfully set the boundary “We were so happy to share b-day cupcakes with Thing 1 and Thing 2, I’m glad they could come by to say hi but I’m bringing them home now since it’s Daughter’s princess party and she was allowed to choose [number] of friends to invite today. Did you guys see the Learning Center’s outdoor camp starts soon? Maybe we can set up a car pool if all of you do the camp again this year. Ok take care, talk to you soon!”
Jenelle620 5 months ago
No way would I give neighbors kids cupcakes at a party they weren't invited to. That makes them think it's ok to just go up to any party they see and join it. It enforces that even more after their mom already telling them it's ok. It is NOT ok to just join someone elses party. It has nothing to do with the cost of some food. People that think this is acceptable and that they should be given something just because they are kids are insane. Well actually they are probably like these parents
Melissa anderson 5 months ago
It’s not a community event. It was a PRIVATE birthday party for family members and their friends. The self entitled neighbors who want free food by crashing a private party can go pound sand.
Rhonda Markem 5 months ago
Years ago....Cub Scout Troop met at our house pre-Halloween. Had a mini-pumpkin Hunt. A mom said kids across street are flipping us off. I chewed them out sent them home/called Moms. Explained why the exclusion from "Our Party".
Bette 5 months ago
Have to agree with everyone who took exception to the YTA comments. The entitlement of the neighbors whose children were sent home; STILL missed the salient point! They were NOT invited!! To add to their obtuseness they criticized the hosts for not allowing their gate-crashing!!
Melany Van Every 5 months ago
A block party (do they still have those?) Is a community event. You neighbor's birthday party for their kid is not.
Mandie Zimmer 5 months ago
Give a mouse a cookie, they will want a glass of milk. This is how Karens are created. OP was right to send them away.
Laserleader 5 months ago (edited)
NTA personal boundaries should be taught to kids, and the parents purposefully saying their kids can crash your party is not OK. Plus for all those who say "it's just cupcakes" haven't bought them for a kids party recently. Each one could be expensive and counted down to the number of guests exactly. If there were extras, then I would have taken them next door AFTER the party if I wanted, but NEVER when the parents show up and demand they join.
Tyranamar Seuss 5 months ago
I would've given them cupcakes too. I would've invited them to the party. If I hadn't and they showed up I would've let them stay and then maybe had a talk with the parents later. But this woman was within her rights to do what she did. My family is much more relaxed about this type of stuff but kids need to know a lot of people aren't and parties are invitation only. It's OK they get this lesson now. I remember the first time I had a set,of friends who acted shocked I came over without calling before (80's kid). I thought they were really weird. They thought I was really weird. It was good for me to know some families are more formal.
Load More Replies... You May Like Woman Cancels BF’s Party Because He Was Late, Gets A Text From His Mom Woman Is Upset Stepdaughter Runs Away From The $10K Party With 100 Guests She Threw Her Dad Supports His Son Who’s Not Interested In Family Friend's Daughter, Drama Ensues
Dominyka
Mindaugas Balčiauskas
Mantas Kačerauskas
Related on Bored Panda
43
204