When you are not born into society’s idea of a perfect family, it could take a ton of work to master the relationship between you and your close ones: perhaps letting go or being patient, learning how to set realistic expectations and boundaries, or – you know – going all out and seeking professional help. 

But here’s the thing, not every family is in need of the said “help”; sometimes all you need is to move on, especially if your relative is not interested in respecting trivial things, just like this author’s mother-in-law. 

Just because they’re family, it doesn’t mean that they’re good people

“AITA for kicking out my MIL for forcing my child to eat the one thing she dislikes?” – this web user turned to one of Reddit’s most judgmental communities, asking its members whether it was a jerk move to boot out her mother-in-law who deliberately cooked her kid foods containing mushrooms. The post managed to garner over 10K likes as well as 2.8K comments discussing the situation. 

Woman ponders if she was wrong to kick her mother-in-law out for making her daughter eat dishes containing mushrooms

The mother began her post by stating that her daughter, who is 10 years old, abhors mushrooms to the hilt. She can’t bear the texture, taste, or smell of them. Now, before the incident, the author’s mother-in-law also resided with them; she helped out with the little one and would frequently prepare her dinner because both parents work in the medical field, which means that their schedules are lengthy and unpredictable. But one day, while the woman was out with some pals and the couple had the night off from work, Susie (the daughter), came to her parents weeping, saying how tired she was of going to bed hungry because her grandma would only prepare meals with mushrooms and wouldn’t let her eat anything else.

Although it was stated that the 10-year-old isn’t a picky eater per se, Bored Panda got in touch with a handful of nutritionists to get a more expert perspective on the seemingly common problem. Our first expert is Charlotte Stirling-Reed, a Registered Child Nutritionist with an undergraduate and a postgraduate degree in Nutrition, who really loves helping families to navigate the tricky stages that naturally can come with feeding kids!

“Yes, it’s very common. Often it is part of the parcel of feeding and raising children. Fussy eating and food refusal often happens as they begin to develop autonomy and want to do things for themselves a little more. It also is thought to be due to something called ‘neophobia,’ which is a fear of new foods and kicks in as little ones become more independent and more mobile. Put simply, historically it makes sense for toddlers to be a bit wary about what they put in their mouths and eat!” – Charlotte said when we pondered about the commonness of eating issues in kids.

“Food refusal also can happen at a time when growth rate slows in the second year of life. Variations in toddlers’ appetites are actually really normal; sometimes we think it’s an issue when it isn’t. If their appetite changes day to day, week to week, and meal to meal, it’s more likely that they are just following their own appetites – if you’re worried, try to get them weighed and look at what they eat over a week and not at a single meal,” the woman added.

Lastly, we wondered how a parent may help their offspring through this challenging time, to which Charlotte said, “Ultimately, try and stick to a good mealtime routine where you can. It can really help kids to understand patterns of hunger a little more. Role-model and avoid not offering foods that are sometimes rejected – appetites will vary and they can’t learn to accept a food that’s never offered! Avoid pressuring them into ‘eating up.’ This is so common for many families to try as a tactic – ‘just eat the vegetables’, ‘just have one more spoon’ – but actually this is really unhelpful in encouraging them to eat a little more and listen to their own appetites properly and also (importantly) actually enjoy eating.”

Our next professional is Jenaed, the founder of Nutrition and Co, an online nutrition consultancy company. She’s a specialist in pediatric nutrition and sports nutrition, with extensive experience working with the NHS and privately. BP asked Jenaed if picky eating can be outgrown, and she replied as follows: “Some kids do outgrow picky eating and some don’t. The kids that do outgrow it are typically picky eaters because of the normal picky eating phase that most children go through. It depends if there is a sensory component or if it’s just a picky eating phase. Causes of picky eating include early feeding difficulties, late introduction of lumpy foods at weaning, pressure to eat, and early choosiness.”

We also invited Jenaed to offer her input on how to help kids overcome this issue: “Let your kids be ‘produce pickers.’ Let them pick out fruits and veggies at the store. Have your child help you prepare meals. Children learn about food and get excited about tasting food when they help make meals. Offer choices. Rather than asking ‘Do you want broccoli for dinner?’ ask ‘Which would you like for dinner, broccoli or cauliflower?’”

“Enjoy each other while eating family meals together. Talk about what family members did during the day, what made you laugh, or what you did for fun. Offer the same foods for the whole family. Serve the same meal to adults and kids. Let them see you enjoy a variety of healthy foods. Start with small portions. Let your kids try small portions of new foods that you enjoy. Give them a small taste at first and be patient with them. Sometimes, new foods take time. Kids don’t always take to new foods right away,” the woman added.

Food is obviously a very sensitive subject that requires careful handling. We hope that the input from our experts was able to be of some assistance to any struggling parents. Also, don’t hesitate to contact them if you ever find yourself in a pickle.

Now, back to the story. What would you have done if you were in the post’s creator’s shoes?

Fellow online community members shared their thoughts on the situation