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“Am I The Jerk For Moving Out When My Dad Told Me To?”
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“Am I The Jerk For Moving Out When My Dad Told Me To?”

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If there’s one thing that helps us get through challenging times, it’s family. Having people who know and support you no matter what provides a sense of belonging and security that allows you to keep going forward.

However, in the case of Reddit user ThrowawayMoving_out, his dad had become more like an enemy instead of an ally. When the young man came out to him, the parent became hostile and eventually even decided to kick his son out of the house.

Sick and tired of hiding who he is, this guy decided to tell his parents he’s gay

Image credits: LightFieldStudios/Envato elements (not the actual photo)

But his father didn’t take it well

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Image credits: benzoix/Envato elements (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: ThrowawayMoving_out

It’s very hard to find a reason to justify the father’s actions

Attitudes in many societies may be changing, but plenty of prejudice still abounds across the world.

In the US, for example, LGBTQ+ people are nine times more likely than non-LGBTQ+ people to be victims of violent hate crimes, according to a report by the Williams Institute, a policy research institute at the University of California, Los Angeles.

In the UK, about 20% of LGBTQ+ individuals have experienced a hate crime in the last 12 months, according to a survey conducted for the LGBTQ+ rights charity Stonewall.

So it’s little wonder that LGBTQ+ couples avoid holding hands with their partner in public for fear of hostile reactions. Or coming out altogether.

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Image credits: Lareised Leneseur/Unsplash (not the actual photo)

As writer David Robson points out, families cannot protect their LGBTQ+ relatives from all the challenges they are going to face, but the quality of support can make a big difference. In fact, family support is a serious predictor of the well-being of LGBTQ+ people across the lifespan.

However, declaring tolerance for additional money and having someone’s back are, of course, two very different things.

“Parents may be really well-meaning, but they might not fully get what it means for their children to be who they really are,” says Rin Reczek, a sociologist at Ohio State University.

Reczek emphasizes that we should certainly feel no compulsion to come out when we do not feel comfortable doing so. “It’s quite rational to maybe not share everything with people who might be homophobic or transphobic.” As much as we would like to live openly all the time, the sociologist believes we have to weigh up the costs, which can exceed the benefits.

At their best, our relatives act as a buffer to our anxieties, making it easier to cope with the challenges we face. Unfortunately, as we just saw, family interactions can also do the opposite and generate more stress.

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As his story went viral, the young man joined the discussion in the comments

People expressed their support, reassuring him he did nothing wrong

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Rokas Laurinavičius

Rokas Laurinavičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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Rokas Laurinavičius

Rokas Laurinavičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

Ilona Baliūnaitė

Ilona Baliūnaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

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Ilona Baliūnaitė

Ilona Baliūnaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

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Tamra
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ignoring the fact that he's gay and his father kicked him out for this, he is NOT responsible for his younger siblings. The father seems happy to use him as a resource as long as it benefits him and the son keeps his mouth shut about being gay. Unbelievable.

StumblingThroughLife
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. I hope the OP has nothing but success and happiness in his life. x

Mr. Jones
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

F**k that guy. He doesn't deserve any good graces from his son. Been there done that with my own homophobic a*****e of a dad.

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Tamra
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ignoring the fact that he's gay and his father kicked him out for this, he is NOT responsible for his younger siblings. The father seems happy to use him as a resource as long as it benefits him and the son keeps his mouth shut about being gay. Unbelievable.

StumblingThroughLife
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. I hope the OP has nothing but success and happiness in his life. x

Mr. Jones
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

F**k that guy. He doesn't deserve any good graces from his son. Been there done that with my own homophobic a*****e of a dad.

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