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Keeping Little Hands Busy: This Artist Uses Compulsive Skin Picking As Inspiration For Her Artwork
“I could tell you that after 5 years of fighting with dermatillomania, I love myself 100%. But that would be a lie.
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“I want to be an artist”.
We all ask kids this cliché question: What are you going to be when you grow up? Derin Karabulut has been drawing ever since she could hold a pencil. Someone would say that she was too young for such big decisions, but Derin knew from the age of 13 that she wanted to be an artist. Today, she’s a digital artist who has turned this little-known disorder that manifests in the form of repetitive touching, scratching, picking, and digging at one’s own skin, into a huge source of inspiration.
Image credits: sta.sh
What was the a-ha moment when you were 13 years old that led you to the decision to become an artist?
Derin Karabulut: “It wasn’t much of an a-ha moment but more of a planned decision. I knew that I didn’t want to be like my mom who was extremely unhappy with her office job, seeing her like that made me really sad. So I decided to do something I loved for a living.”
Image credits: artistama.amafeed.com
“I want to be at a point where I can paint what I want without being afraid of scaring people away”.
Derin Karabulut:
“I used to view dermatillomania as a weakness. I felt confused, disgusted, angry and ashamed, I didn’t understand why I just couldn’t stop picking and I hated myself for not being able to stop. Now, I’m more informed and I know what triggers my skin-picking episodes. I know that it isn’t a weakness anymore and I accept the fact I have dermatillomania. This change of perspective eliminated some of the stressed which is one of my biggest triggers.”
Image credits: artistama.amafeed.com
“I was ashamed of it, got angry when people gave me strange looks or asked me whether I had a contagious disease or not.”
“Now, this would be the part that I tell you that I, after 5+ years of battling with dermatillomania, have now completely accepted it and love myself 100%. But if I told you that, I would be lying to you. I am slowly accepting it and reaching out for help, which requires me to look at dermatillomania in a different light, and that change of perspective turned dermatillomania into a huge source of inspiration for me. A lot of my paintings hold a special place in my heart. This is one of those paintings, I was in a pretty bad place mentally at the time of painting it. So it’s very special to me”.
Image credits: artistama.amafeed.com
What coping strategy have you come up with to deal with your dermatillomania?
Derin Karabulut:
“I try to avoid the things that would trigger my skin picking, and I tell other people around me to stop me if I start picking. Other than that the anti-depressants I take helped me a lot.”
Image credits: www.deviantart.com
Don’t Be Ashamed To Ask For Help
Excoriation is a serious, behavioral disorder that is estimated to impact around 5% of the population, although the actual percentage is unknown because many people with the disorder are hesitant — or don’t know — to seek help.
Derin Karabulut:
“There are many reasons why someone can develop dermatillomania, some experts say there might be a genetic link since some people have an inherited tendency to BFRBs such as skin picking and hair pulling. Other factors, like stress and age play roles in the development. Cognitive behavioral therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy and habit reversal therapy help a lot of people reduce the symptoms of dermatillomania. There is no medication for dermatillomania but some anti-depressants are shown to help some people.”
Image credits: artistama.amafeed.com
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