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Woman Asks, “AIBU To Expect My SIL To Keep Her Aggressive Cat Away During Xmas?”
Interview With Expert
Whether it be an ancient pharaoh giving a royal burial to his dog, or Hagrid looking after a dragon, giant spider, or a 3-headed dog, people have been known to be crazy about their pets. I surely was in love with my pet fish who never even acknowledged me.
Even this woman considers her cat as her own kid and refuses to keep her in another room despite her getting aggressive and scratching her family. Her sister-in-law is concerned about it hurting her kids during Christmas, so she sought advice online.
More info: Mumsnet
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People have been known to be crazy about their pets, and some even consider them as their children
Image credits: Andréas BRUN / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The poster’s sister-in-law has an aggressive cat who has bitten and scratched their family in the past, including the children
Image credits: juiceboxjuggle
Image credits: Tabitha Favor / Pexels (not the actual photo)
This Christmas, the poster is dreading going to her in-laws as she’s concerned the cat will harm her children
Image credits: juiceboxjuggle
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
She doesn’t know how to tell her sister-in-law about it as she gets upset if asked to keep the cat in the other room
Image credits: juiceboxjuggle
The poster wants a relaxing Christmas without having to worry about the feline hurting her kids but doesn’t know what to say to her sister-in-law
Today, we dive into a story where the mom is highly concerned about her sister-in-law’s aggressive cat hurting her children during Christmas. The original poster (OP) tells us that the cat scratches and bites them for the smallest of reasons and even keeps at it under the table while people eat.
Now, despite its aggressive nature, the cat’s mom refuses to keep her in the other room as she considers the feline her child. She got upset when the poster suggested it last year and replied that the pet should be “free to roam.”
Well, this has put OP in a tight spot as she doesn’t want a stressful Christmas where she has to worry about the cat hurting her or her kids. Her husband will not do anything and her mother-in-law says that her daughter is not married and doesn’t have kids, so the cat is her family and she couldn’t ask her not to bring it.
To get expert insights, Bored Panda interviewed Nicole Dias, a die-hard animal lover who has been a compassionate mom and cat sitter to multiple felines for the past 15 years. She has also looked after quite a few aggressive cats and strongly believes that the owner has a great influence on the pet’s behavior.
“The owner’s emotions and reactions can directly affect the cat’s behavior. If the owner is anxious, the cat may mirror that stress and become more reactive,” Nicole explained. She further narrated that the sister-in-law’s actions sound a little insensitive as she should be aware of how the children might catch the cat scratch disease because of her pet.
According to Nicole, when you are looking after a pet, it’s best to be aware of such things and take precautions accordingly.
Image credits: Bizon / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Many folks commented that the sister-in-law was acting quite irrationally as she was not considering the safety of the kids. They said that it was sad that OP was burdened with caring about this when the owner’s brother should be the one informing her that it might harm their children.
People online also came up with suggestions like a Pet Remedy spray or a couple of fresh catnip kick sticks to keep the animal distracted. When we asked our expert for her advice for people stuck in similar situations, she suggested leveraging the cat’s bond with the owner and highlighted these points:
- Calm Presence: Encourage the owner to act as a calming influence for the cat during high-stress moments, as their presence may naturally reassure the cat.
- Interactive Play: Suggest that the owner engage the cat in vigorous play before meals or gatherings to burn off excess energy and reduce the likelihood of aggressive outbursts.
- Strategic Positioning: Position the owner and their cat in a comfortable area slightly away from the busiest parts of the house, such as the dining table, so the cat feels secure but still included.
- Owner-Delivered Rewards: Have the owner give the cat treats or praise for calm behavior during meals or interactions, reinforcing positive behavior.
- Comforting Items: Suggest the owner bring familiar items (e.g., the cat’s favorite blanket or toys) to create a safe, familiar zone where the cat can retreat if she feels overwhelmed.
If the poster is dreading talking to her sister-in-law, these insights definitely sound like something she could actually consider. However, some folks pointed out that the cat mom’s extremely emotional reaction to keeping the cat away was very manipulative and unfair.
They advised OP to directly tell her how her pet is hurting the kids and give her an ultimatum that either she keeps the cat away or OP and the kids leave. It definitely sounds like a tricky spot, doesn’t it? If you were in OP’s shoes, what would you do? Leave your thoughts in the comments below!
Folks online said that the sister-in-law was being very manipulative by reacting extremely when she should actually consider the safety of the kids
What do you think ?
Nikole 3 weeks ago
What an “animal lover”… Freaks out her cat by bringing it to a new place with lots of people…
Tyke 3 weeks ago
Does not sound like the behaviour of a happy, healthy cat to me. First thought also was the welfare of poor Puss. Sister sounds like an idiot.
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Papa 3 weeks ago
This may not be a popular sentiment, but if the cat scratched my children for no good reason, either the cat won't be there in the future, or I and my children won't.
Carrie Laughs 3 weeks ago
I think it's a perfectly reasonable sentiment! I feel for the woman and her worries. She can't risk her kiddies and I'd not want the risk myself. Though I also feel for the cat - which sounds stressed. Regardless, SIL can leave the cat behind for a day or, if longer, make arrangements for it to be looked after. Or not come if her cat is that important to her. I have dogs, sometimes I can't go to things because of them. That's okay, they improve my everyday so I don't mind missing out for them.
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Doodles1983 3 weeks ago
For one to two days, I leave my cats with auto feeders a full water fountain and clean litter trays. In their own environment where they sleep all day. And barely notice I'm gone. More than 2 days, I organise either a regular drop in or sitter. When it was just one cat, she came with us but we never had these behaviour issues. Which are because this cat is unhappy and stressed! And the year we went and SIL dog came, cat was kept in one room, slept. We visited with her periodically. They're super self sufficient. The SIL is being an AH.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 weeks ago
Yes! My older cat is actually my "Adventure Cat" who actually LIKES going new places (I used to take her with me on vacations) and she loves exploring/seeing new things. She loves car rides as well. But she is unusual in those respects, for a cat. I wouldn't fathom doing the same with my younger cat, who doesn't even like going outside/into the catio. OP's SIL is absolutely unhinged if she is turning an uncaring blind eye to the fact that her cat is injuring other people, including children (does she even clip its claws?) Cats don't "need to roam" and if SIL insists on bringing her cat with her to the holiday gathering, it will survive a few days in a room.
Load More Replies...
Pittsburgh rare 3 weeks ago
I simply wouldn't go. Husband can go and tolerate it, but the kids would stay at home with me. And those saying it's just a cat, not a mountain lion, why on earth do you need to leave a meal scratched?
LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 weeks ago
At the very least, SIL needs to clip her cat's claws/have them trimmed at the vet's. It won't stop the biting and other aggressions, but at least then it couldn't do injury with its claws.
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Deborah B 3 weeks ago
This cat is aggressive, and dangerous to be around, yes, but it's also stressed out, scared and angry. It's in a strange place, with lots of strange people, and that is very traumatic for a one-person cat. I understand not leaving a pet at home, but in a strange environment, especially with lots of people, the cat should be kept shut in one room where it has food, water littertray, and a nestbox, so it can feel secure and calm. Make it a condition of visiting that the cat be kept in a different room to your children at all times. Remind the family that cat bites that draw blood should be treated imediately at urgent care or the ER, which is not how anyone wants to spend Christmas. If you want to take self-defence measures, arm yourself with catnip, to be deployed in SIL's room to encourage the cat to stay there. Make your kids wear jeans and keep their shoes on, to protect their legs.
Michael MacKinnon 3 weeks ago
For starters: Trim. The. Claws. This can be done painlessly (a pawdicure) and make the cat much less likely to hurt people. Then, have the cat in a separate room for meals (providing their food and water bowls and a nice place to sit / sleep).
katiekat0214 3 weeks ago
The cat would be a lot less stressed and far more calm if she DID put it in a room on its own. Litter, water, food, quiet... no bother to anyone, and more at ease. She would be doing the cat and everyone else a favor instead of letting it roam and then freak out.
Nikki Angulo 3 weeks ago
Show the husband info on cat scratch fever, I would be refusing to go if the cat is there. Period. End of discussion. I have three cats, two hide when strangers are around and one comes for attention, but none of them would ever attack anyone randomly like this cat. Also, they stay at home when I’m away! I have someone stop by and feed them etc, if I’m gone more than two nights. It would be cruel to bring them, they hate travelling and cats don’t like new places! This cat sounds the same, it’s stressed already! And you know the SIL isn’t going to just keep it in a room the whole time, so if the cat is there, you aren’t. THAT is NON-NEGOTIABLE! Seriously, cat scratch fever! It can kill!
Upstaged75 3 weeks ago
She needs to tell her husband that it's "non-negotiable" for the kids to be attacked by a cat and they she will be staying home with them unless their safety can be guaranteed.
Donna Peluda 3 weeks ago
My friend's cat jumps on you and digs her claws in. She sits on your leg and claws into my thigh. My friend says I should be honoured because normally she doesn't like people and hides when there is guesy in the house. I'm elated to go home with bleeding and ripped trousers. Such a honour.
WalterWhiteSavannah 3 weeks ago
My cat slipped his harness and climbed a fence into a mean rottweillers yard once. In the 5 seconds I spent hyping myself up to fight a big mean rotty on behalf of my cat, he'd puffed up gone feral and intimidated the dog into lying down and showing his belly. There's videos of house cats scaring off bears. Sure a cat probly can't kill you, but they can be pretty darn scary when they want to be too.
Load More Replies... Pandaodboredem22 2 weeks ago
If it's non negotiable that husband goes, then it's on him to tell his sister to take care of her aggressive cat. If she doesn't agree, OP and kids stay home.
Laura Zaini 2 weeks ago
I have cats and adore them but when I'm away I leave them comfortably at honw with somebody checking on them regularly . Trips would be too stressful for them
Craig Reynolds 3 weeks ago
Cats are not dogs! They tend to be highly introverted even in their own familiar environment when people they don't know come into their territory. Normally, they hide, but some can get aggressive, especially if a stranger stares at them. They consider that a threat. The SIL is an idiot for taking the cat with her to someone else's home which is unfamiliar territory, That alone is a huge stressor because the cat does not know if there are any threats present. Add in a bunch of strangers it doesn't know and it's a recipe for disaster. SIL is lucky the cat doesn't bolt out the door at the first opportunity and run away. It won't find its way back either because there are no familiar scents or landmarks.
Anna Drever 3 weeks ago
We have cats and a dog. Dogs are easier to ‘transplant’ to another house. Cats not so much. SIL needs to ‘suck it up’ and leave her cat at home with either a cat sitter or a feeding station which would be fine for a day or three, as long as there’s plenty of water and clean litter.
Cindy Naismith 3 weeks ago
Let her know if your children get attacked you would be reporting it to the authorities. I was bitten by a cat. The next day my hand was three times the size. I had to go to the doctor, get antibiotics (I'm allergic to cats) . Animal control showed up at my friends place wanting to put the cat in quarantine for 30 days....it was not a great time.
zovjraar me 3 weeks ago
it's not the cat's fault. that being said, how could you be ok taking your kids to a place that you know is dangerous for them? i'd be NOT going to PIL's house. hubby can go by himself. maybe skipping enough holidays will cause them to ask SIL to stop bringing the cat, who is probably stressed out and scared. if SIL really cared about her cat, she'd leave it at home!
Ben Stubbs 3 weeks ago
Are you a twat for posting your trivial nonsense over the internet? Yes
Nikole 3 weeks ago
What an “animal lover”… Freaks out her cat by bringing it to a new place with lots of people…
Tyke 3 weeks ago
Does not sound like the behaviour of a happy, healthy cat to me. First thought also was the welfare of poor Puss. Sister sounds like an idiot.
Load More Replies... Papa 3 weeks ago
This may not be a popular sentiment, but if the cat scratched my children for no good reason, either the cat won't be there in the future, or I and my children won't.
Carrie Laughs 3 weeks ago
I think it's a perfectly reasonable sentiment! I feel for the woman and her worries. She can't risk her kiddies and I'd not want the risk myself. Though I also feel for the cat - which sounds stressed. Regardless, SIL can leave the cat behind for a day or, if longer, make arrangements for it to be looked after. Or not come if her cat is that important to her. I have dogs, sometimes I can't go to things because of them. That's okay, they improve my everyday so I don't mind missing out for them.
Load More Replies... Doodles1983 3 weeks ago
For one to two days, I leave my cats with auto feeders a full water fountain and clean litter trays. In their own environment where they sleep all day. And barely notice I'm gone. More than 2 days, I organise either a regular drop in or sitter. When it was just one cat, she came with us but we never had these behaviour issues. Which are because this cat is unhappy and stressed! And the year we went and SIL dog came, cat was kept in one room, slept. We visited with her periodically. They're super self sufficient. The SIL is being an AH.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 weeks ago
Yes! My older cat is actually my "Adventure Cat" who actually LIKES going new places (I used to take her with me on vacations) and she loves exploring/seeing new things. She loves car rides as well. But she is unusual in those respects, for a cat. I wouldn't fathom doing the same with my younger cat, who doesn't even like going outside/into the catio. OP's SIL is absolutely unhinged if she is turning an uncaring blind eye to the fact that her cat is injuring other people, including children (does she even clip its claws?) Cats don't "need to roam" and if SIL insists on bringing her cat with her to the holiday gathering, it will survive a few days in a room.
Load More Replies... Pittsburgh rare 3 weeks ago
I simply wouldn't go. Husband can go and tolerate it, but the kids would stay at home with me. And those saying it's just a cat, not a mountain lion, why on earth do you need to leave a meal scratched?
LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 weeks ago
At the very least, SIL needs to clip her cat's claws/have them trimmed at the vet's. It won't stop the biting and other aggressions, but at least then it couldn't do injury with its claws.
Load More Replies... Deborah B 3 weeks ago
This cat is aggressive, and dangerous to be around, yes, but it's also stressed out, scared and angry. It's in a strange place, with lots of strange people, and that is very traumatic for a one-person cat. I understand not leaving a pet at home, but in a strange environment, especially with lots of people, the cat should be kept shut in one room where it has food, water littertray, and a nestbox, so it can feel secure and calm. Make it a condition of visiting that the cat be kept in a different room to your children at all times. Remind the family that cat bites that draw blood should be treated imediately at urgent care or the ER, which is not how anyone wants to spend Christmas. If you want to take self-defence measures, arm yourself with catnip, to be deployed in SIL's room to encourage the cat to stay there. Make your kids wear jeans and keep their shoes on, to protect their legs.
Michael MacKinnon 3 weeks ago
For starters: Trim. The. Claws. This can be done painlessly (a pawdicure) and make the cat much less likely to hurt people. Then, have the cat in a separate room for meals (providing their food and water bowls and a nice place to sit / sleep).
katiekat0214 3 weeks ago
The cat would be a lot less stressed and far more calm if she DID put it in a room on its own. Litter, water, food, quiet... no bother to anyone, and more at ease. She would be doing the cat and everyone else a favor instead of letting it roam and then freak out.
Nikki Angulo 3 weeks ago
Show the husband info on cat scratch fever, I would be refusing to go if the cat is there. Period. End of discussion. I have three cats, two hide when strangers are around and one comes for attention, but none of them would ever attack anyone randomly like this cat. Also, they stay at home when I’m away! I have someone stop by and feed them etc, if I’m gone more than two nights. It would be cruel to bring them, they hate travelling and cats don’t like new places! This cat sounds the same, it’s stressed already! And you know the SIL isn’t going to just keep it in a room the whole time, so if the cat is there, you aren’t. THAT is NON-NEGOTIABLE! Seriously, cat scratch fever! It can kill!
Upstaged75 3 weeks ago
She needs to tell her husband that it's "non-negotiable" for the kids to be attacked by a cat and they she will be staying home with them unless their safety can be guaranteed.
Donna Peluda 3 weeks ago
My friend's cat jumps on you and digs her claws in. She sits on your leg and claws into my thigh. My friend says I should be honoured because normally she doesn't like people and hides when there is guesy in the house. I'm elated to go home with bleeding and ripped trousers. Such a honour.
WalterWhiteSavannah 3 weeks ago
My cat slipped his harness and climbed a fence into a mean rottweillers yard once. In the 5 seconds I spent hyping myself up to fight a big mean rotty on behalf of my cat, he'd puffed up gone feral and intimidated the dog into lying down and showing his belly. There's videos of house cats scaring off bears. Sure a cat probly can't kill you, but they can be pretty darn scary when they want to be too.
Load More Replies... Pandaodboredem22 2 weeks ago
If it's non negotiable that husband goes, then it's on him to tell his sister to take care of her aggressive cat. If she doesn't agree, OP and kids stay home.
Laura Zaini 2 weeks ago
I have cats and adore them but when I'm away I leave them comfortably at honw with somebody checking on them regularly . Trips would be too stressful for them
Craig Reynolds 3 weeks ago
Cats are not dogs! They tend to be highly introverted even in their own familiar environment when people they don't know come into their territory. Normally, they hide, but some can get aggressive, especially if a stranger stares at them. They consider that a threat. The SIL is an idiot for taking the cat with her to someone else's home which is unfamiliar territory, That alone is a huge stressor because the cat does not know if there are any threats present. Add in a bunch of strangers it doesn't know and it's a recipe for disaster. SIL is lucky the cat doesn't bolt out the door at the first opportunity and run away. It won't find its way back either because there are no familiar scents or landmarks.
Anna Drever 3 weeks ago
We have cats and a dog. Dogs are easier to ‘transplant’ to another house. Cats not so much. SIL needs to ‘suck it up’ and leave her cat at home with either a cat sitter or a feeding station which would be fine for a day or three, as long as there’s plenty of water and clean litter.
Cindy Naismith 3 weeks ago
Let her know if your children get attacked you would be reporting it to the authorities. I was bitten by a cat. The next day my hand was three times the size. I had to go to the doctor, get antibiotics (I'm allergic to cats) . Animal control showed up at my friends place wanting to put the cat in quarantine for 30 days....it was not a great time.
zovjraar me 3 weeks ago
it's not the cat's fault. that being said, how could you be ok taking your kids to a place that you know is dangerous for them? i'd be NOT going to PIL's house. hubby can go by himself. maybe skipping enough holidays will cause them to ask SIL to stop bringing the cat, who is probably stressed out and scared. if SIL really cared about her cat, she'd leave it at home!
Ben Stubbs 3 weeks ago
Are you a twat for posting your trivial nonsense over the internet? Yes
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