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“People Who Had To Clean Out Rooms Of Someone Who Had Died, Did You Find Anything You Shouldn’t Have?” (30 Answers)
People react differently to when a loved one dies. Some of them heal from grief by leaving the person’s things as they were when they were alive, but others decide to clean up and move on to a new chapter in their lives without that person present.
While cleaning up all the things that a person left behind in this world, you may stumble upon something that they never showed you and it could make you see them in a different light. Of course, not everyone has dark shocking secrets, but you just discover a part of their life or personality that you were not familiar with.
People shared such experiences when Scary-Brandon asked “People who had to clean out rooms of someone who had died (family, friend or otherwise), did you find anything you shouldn't have found and how did it make you feel?”
Did you ever discover anything interesting when cleaning rooms or houses of people who passed away? Did it make you feel differently about that person? Share your stories in the comments!
More info: Reddit
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#1
My grandma passed when I was 16 after getting cancer for the third time. My grandad moved into a smaller apartment and my cousins and I helped to clean out their house. (A side note... There are 9 of us, aged at the time from 12 - 26).
In the house, we found more than 20 wrapped presents and envelopes of money, addressed to all of us. They were for the big occasions that she knew she wouldn't live to see us have. Before she had passed away she had organized 21st birthday presents for those of us who weren't yet 21, engagement presents, and wedding presents, each with a card written by hand. I remember being so overwhelmed with emotion. She was an incredible woman who loved her family dearly and wanted to celebrate her grandchildren, even if she couldn't be there herself.
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#2
This one is actually kind of heartwarming...
My dad was a pretty reserved guy. While I knew in my heart he would lay down and pass away for me without a moment's hesitation, he never said "I love you" or "I'm proud of you" or anything like that. It's just who he was.
After he passed away of cancer, we went to his office to clear it out. I'd never really been in his actual office since, on the rare occasions I'd see him at work, he'd usually meet me at reception.
Well, when we went in there, it was practically a shrine to me and my sister. Every certificate, photo, newspaper clipping, program, etc. was hung up on the walls of his office. A number of people came by to pay their respects as we were clearing things out and, again and again, I heard "he was so proud of you." "I've heard so many things about you, it's nice to meet you in person." "You were so special to your father. He spoke the world of you."
Honestly, you could have knocked me over with a feather. Definitely one of the more bittersweet moments in my life...
RIP, Dad. Miss you...
everyone's favorite person 2 years ago
this is so sweet. it can be hard for some people to show love verbally, because of different circumstances and stuff, but I think it's awesome that their dad was still able to show love in his way. awesome story!
#3
My grandmother passed after a blood clot incident. She had several conditions that no doubt led up to this. For example, her medical team decided not to treat her breast cancer because they figured she would pass away before it would spread.
My father, uncle, and my sisters were left to clean out her things from her apartment. She had a lot of old, expired food. Like ketchup that had gone completely black. We found things from when she was well and social, like her quilting and handmade soaps, which were beautiful. She has a quilt that had the names of all of our family, but the names were sewn in the individuals handwriting style.
However, one day it was just my dad and me going through her bedside table. We found her journal. Toward the end, all of the entries were about how lonely she was, how she only got to see her grand children twice a year, and how her own children never saw her unless they needed something. She said she wanted to die. My dad threw it away so his brother would never have to see it.
So, um, yeah. Go hug a grandparent.
#4
My boyfriend passed in a car accident while I was pregnant with our first child. When I was cleaning out our room to move, after the accident, I found a shoe box full of things for our son. Some of the items included were a note to our son about the future, what dreams and hopes he had had, some Pokémon cards, tips on fishing, and a letter to give to me upon his death. Almost four years later and I haven't been able to open it.
#5
My husband passed in 2009 of a heart attack.
He was a widower when I married him. I found a letter written by his first wife, before she passed away of cancer, telling him how upset she was with him and how he wasn't being supportive and how if she wasn't so sick that she would consider a divorce.
Their son (who became my son) was 3 when his mom passed and 12 when his dad passed. I destroyed that letter. I honestly think he never, ever needed to see that letter. I'd much rather he's left with the illusion that his parents had a perfect, if tragic, marriage.
#6
Recently my boyfriends uncle passed away. He left his house to him in his will. We've been slowly going through the rooms, but on day one of the clean, we started in his closet.
We live in a very republican conservative part of Texas. Mind you, the man was never married, but was loved by all as he housed his niece who suffered from addiction.
When we went through his closet we found numerous sparkling thongs, and various phallic devices. We thought it was strange but when we moved to the bedroom we discovered photos of him and his "best friend"
Through his death we discovered that uncle was a gay man. Something he never came out with while he was alive . It makes us sad to think he had to hide who he was for his whole life as our families are pretty open and non Judgmental.
#7
My grandma's house had money EVERYWHERE. Every purse had at least $100 cash. Suitcases had a few hundred more. Every coffee can or other container in her kitchen had rolls of money. There were even bags of frozen veggies in the freezer that had been split open and money hidden inside. And her bank accounts...thousands upon thousands of dollars. No one had any idea, she lived so simply and never spent a dime on anything unnecessary. I'm sure her financial paranoia was due to growing up in the Great Depression.
It made for the best scavenger hunt ever, though.
Kalmar (she/her) 2 years ago
I have an elderly friend whose dad was also from the great depression, and she is VERY prepared like her father was. We had an ice storm last year and our power was out for days, so she made sure to have a generator installed in case it happened again. If the apocalypse were ever to happen, her house is the place I'd go. Kindest soul I've ever met.
#8
I personally packed up my little brother's room after he passed. He was only 8 years old when he passed, so I didn't find anything risqué. I did find a lot of rocks in his toy box though. Another 3 years later, I was helping clean out my grandmas house and found letters he had written her.
#9
In 2005, my sister passed in a jet skiing accident out on the lake. She was 11, I was 9, and after the funeral my parents decided it was time to go through her stuff to pack up and donate. I'm really nosy, and I really needed something to do, so I was allowed to help them. I served mostly as a runner boy for the items as they went through it, just sorting it in the living room while they went through everything in her room. Now, understand that the last thing she said to me was "I hate you". We had gotten in a fight just before she got on the jet ski with my aunt, and that's the last time we spoke. Anyways, going through her stuff I found a picture she had drawn of me her and one of my other sisters, and a little note admit how much she loved her brothers and sisters (an art project for school of some sort if I'm not mistaken). This really helped put my mind at ease about the whole thing. I know she really loved me and that if she had known those would be the last words she said to me she would not have said it, but being 9 years old, watching her be in the hospital for three days, then waiting 4 more days for the funeral and what not to get to that picture. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with, but that picture helped.
I never leave someone now when bad words have been exchanged. Not knowing if that's the last thing they hear me say, I cannot in good conscious leave on a bad note.
#10
When my dad passed of lung cancer we found this really cool puzzle box. He had JUST passed and my closest relatives and I were gathered around as I solved the puzzle box to open it. We get it open and we found none other than a ton of pot. Was hilarious and awkward at the same time. But even better than that I found my two siblings he hid from the family for years. We're actually all currently sitting on the couch together. So, thanks you old hippie. RIP.
#11
This isn't me personally finding the items but my grandfathers brother (let's called him Frank), passed away suddenly from a brain aneurism. My family had to clean out his room, and discovered almost his entire life he had been dressing as a woman and living as one without his family knowing. There were photos of him in women's underwear, and an entire cupboard of dresses, make-up, you name it. No one had any idea until after his death. Go Frank!
Frank was also a huge, muscly rugby player. A real mans man in his everyday life. I think that's what made it so blindsiding for my family - but I think that just makes it even greater!
#12
After my grandmother passed away, i was helping clear her flat. She was apparently 87 when she passed away, but we also had suspicions that she was older. She had grown up in Nazi Germany, and crossed the Berlin wall as a Russian spy and then gave herself in. We had a lot of questions that she never answered.
Then i found a cupboard full of notebooks. They were detailed diaries, and gave a lot of answers. My mum was heartbroken though when she found the date of her birth... it only said "It was born today." and then a week later said "It has been named by my mother in law."
Her diaries were written in German and English, depending on where she was living at the time. She was in Glasgow at the time of my mums birth, and for the first two births as well. I am fluent in German, and yes you have das, which can be translated as it by some people. Sadly there is no wiggle room and she just distanced herself from my mum's birth
Chris Baugh 2 years ago (edited)
‘Kind’ as in ‘Child’ is neuter - so ‘das’. Kids are referred to as ‘das Kind’ and ‘es’. It’s not necessarily derogatory. I’m English, fluent in German and live in Hamburg. Letters from my kids’ schools asking parents to do stuff with / for our kids always reference ‘das Kind’ and use ‘es’. After 14 years living here it still seems odd because translated into English it sounds so harsh, but don’t assume those terms are meant to be impersonal based on a translation - it could easily just be grammar. Btw, the German word for girl (Mädchen) is also neutral, so girls are also ‘das’ and ‘es’. It’s just the way the language is. Granted I’ve not seen it used when referring to a specific child - especially your own, you then tend to use he or she - but she was old and languages develop over time. Maybe back then it was perfectly natural to use the neutral pronouns when referring to your own kids too. Also, that was in written prose and the language used in written German also tends to be way more formal and grammatically correct than when speaking. I honestly think there’s a good chance that wasn’t meant in the way it’s been interpreted.
#13
My husband and I cleaned out my grandma's house after she passed, she was a big time hoarder but luckily of the "pack rat" variety so everything was neatly packed away in thousands of boxes and drawers. It took us nearly 3 weeks to get everything out of the house and we found so many things that I had never knew my grandma had done.
She built a boat with her first fiancé prior to marrying my grandpa, she travelled the world making friends with some of the most interesting people like a legit member of African royalty whom she had a long lived penpal friendship.
Among the cool memories we found beautiful jewelry, dresses that she had kept for us as gifts that we never received. I also found out that my dad had been a baby model for sears through the newspaper clippings she kept.
It was an emotional, wild ride for those 3 weeks. Her sons sold most of the non-keepsake items in a garage sale and made nearly $4,000, all things priced under $5 so you can imagine how much stuff she had accumulated through out the years.
She was the coolest, spunkiest grandma and I miss her everyday but I am glad I got to learn so much more about her through her collections (or junk as my dad would call it).
#14
My wife and I moved into our granny's (wife's grandmother) house after she passed with a pretty aggressive cancer. While cleaning things out, moving our stuff in, we found a bunch of letters and cards the kids all made for her, she kept every single one next to her chair, and would often read them.
Most recently we found a cassette from an old answering machine that she kept full of messages from her husband, who had passed over 15 years before, saying how much he loved her and couldn't wait to see her. Sadly I'd never met the guy, but figured we'd have gotten along well.
lazy panda 2 years ago
Call me morbid, but I keep a random voicemail from my mom and dad just in case. Besides my husband, they're my best friends and I can't stand the thought of never hearing their voices again.
#15
My great aunt passed at 100 years old, and I got her fairly new Samsung TV. The TV turned out to be 3D, but she only had one eye.
I couldn't shake the thought that some salesman sold an old lady with one eye a 3D TV.
#16
Yes, actually. My mother and I found out my maternal grandmother was a spy during world war 2. We found her papers and gun in her dresser in a retirement home. Oh boy was that a crazy time.
I didnt mention my grandpa was in the NSA. He was just an IT guy, so he wasnt an agent or anything. But that should still earn some cool points haha.
#17
We found details of my Nan's secret credit card. She had a gambling problem and didn't tell my Pop about the card...she had been paying a little off every week for years.
My Pop didn't have much money and he was really worried about how he was going to pay the bill. It turns out that he didn't have to pay the bill because she was deceased and it wasn't his debt.
He's an old, grumpy man from country Australia and was super proud of her for "sticking it to the bank".
#18
After my grandfather passed, I found out that he worked for the army in Fort Monmouth. Whenever anyone asked what he did for a living he said he “makes coffee”. Turns out his actual job description was classified and nobody knew what it was. Not even my grandma.
I look just like him
#19
When my great grandma passed away we were cleaning out her house and we found all these liquor bottles that were full of water from 40 years ago when my dad and my uncles had drank all her booze and replaced it with water lol.
Jette Wang Wahnon 2 years ago
I WIN !! My brothers and I knew what was in my fathers Liquor cabinet because we had seen it on numerous occations...first it was to be drunk on my older brothers confirmation,but no...other confirmations,no...then my wedding,but no...and so on till came his 90th birthday and we all felt now was the time to drink it.He brought it out of the cabinet..we all felt the suspense..caressed it.and put it right back....He passed 4 months later and first thing we did,sat down and finally opened the 200 years old Napoleon Cognac and toasted him...It was DIVINE !!!
#20
After my grandmother passed away I helped my grandfather clean out some of her stuff and found a poem she wrote to the infant child that she lost some 50 years ago. I don't think my grandfather knew about the poem or he forgot about it.
#21
After my dad passed a couple years ago, I went through a bunch of old pictures from his college days. He (let's call him Todd) and my mom (call her Nancy) met when they were both living in the dorms there. I found a picture of all the guys in my dad's dorm, and they'd all signed it. My dad's roommate had written, "Todd, you were the best roommate ever... since you hardly spent one night here since meeting Nancy..."
At first I felt a little uncomfortable, but in hindsight, it seems kind of sweet. My parents were never overtly romantic in front of my siblings and I, so although I knew they cared about each other, I never really thought of them as being "in love". I guess it's nice to know they were so crazy about each other when they first met.
Lady Goldberry 2 years ago (edited)
It's hard to imagine your parents being anyone else but 'your parents.' I think we as a society can sometimes fall into the trap of feeling that we own our parents identities, because we see ourselves as the most important thing in their lives. Yet I'm sure I'm not alone in knowing with absolute certainty that my children are the most important people in my life, and not my parents. Vita Continuat. Edited to add: of course I realise this is not the case for many people and is meant as a generalisation.
#22
Finally a post that I can contribute to! (though it may be too late to do so at this point but I will anyway) my mom passed away extremely unexpectedly and as her only child, it was my responsibility to clean out her belongings. We didn't have a great relationship to say the least. It was a lot of fighting among other things for years. However towards the end we did start to patch things up a bit. Regardless, when I was cleaning out her room, I found a collection of all of my achievements throughout school. Dating back from kindergarten to my senior year of high school. I didn't know that she kept things like this. There were things like random spelling tests or awards for the highest grade in English. It was really heartwarming and I honestly had no idea that she cared enough to keep all of those. Further more she ended up getting rid of a lot of her belongings when she moved shortly before passing so the fact that she kept and held onto all of this was amazing to me. I just wish that we had spent more time getting along instead of all of the rough patches.
#23
Helping my mom sort through her cousin's belongings, it quickly became obvious that her cousin had led a lonely, yet eclectic life. In between beautiful pieces of modern art and Louis Vuitton luggage was stacks of letters that were never mailed and odd collections of random items. I came across a small cardboard box taped closed and labeled with "James" written in marker on the outside. I shook the box a bit, noting that felt full and was relatively heavy. I turned to my mom and told her that I thought her cousin meant for this box to go to someone named James, to which my mom said, "Oh no, honey, James is what is IN the box. Well, after he was cremated." Yep, my mother's cousin lived for years with her BFF James's ashes just hanging out in a cardboard box next to her luggage.
I quickly dropped the box of the complete stranger's ASHES and decided I had enough of packing for that day. Sadly, more than 20 years later, my family still thinks it is humorous to label gifts to me in boxes with a "James" written in black marker.
#24
My parents divorced when we were kids and my dad remarried a couple years later. Thirty years later when my dad passed we (grown kids) went through his large office to determine what to keep or sell. In his desk my sister found a draft of a love letter he had written to the woman who would become his second wife while he was still with our mother, confirming our suspicions that he had cheated on her. Although it was generally assumed that this had happened, seeing the evidence was painful.
#25
While cleaning out my mother's house after she passed away, I found numerous empty whisky bottles hidden amongst her belongings. I had no idea she had a drinking problem.
Also found paperwork regarding a recent marriage - and quick divorce - that I knew nothing about. Never even met the guy. Realizing that she hid so much from me made her death much harder to take.
Mushroomlover 2 years ago
Often times children forget that their parents had lives before they were born that they may not know about. It shouldn’t be taken personally!
#26
When I cleaned out my grandpa's stuff the thing that caught me off guard the most was his wallet. There was still cash in it and I felt like I was stealing when I took it out. I didn't know what to do with his cash.
#27
Had to clean up after my grandmother passed. Found a note from back when she was with her second husband (who passed in 1995) that she never gave him. She poured her heart out to him and said she couldn't be with him, she knew the timing was hard because he was sick, but she was just done. She must have had a change of heart, but it was hard to read something that carried so much of her pain and know how unhappy she was in his last year.
Like many have suggested, I believe this was a letter she wrote to vent and cope with the stress of caring for a sick and, from what I've heard, somewhat grumpy man. He apparently didn't handle pain in the best way and she never spoke ill of him later on, so this was a drastic shift in his temperament from the usual. She loved him, although it was clear that they were more companionate than passionate (as her true love was very clearly my grandfather, who passed in the late 1970s), but she was always warm and fairly happy when she spoke of him later on. I think this was just something she wrote to avoid blowing off steam at him, and she saved it so she didn't forget where she came from. It was simply surprising because she did always speak well of him and none of my family expected to find this. It didn't tarnish our view of her, it was merely hard to read.
#28
When cleaning out my mom's house last October to move her into memory care assisted living I found a note in a book from my grandma to me. It was written in 1982. It mentioned that my mom was married before marrying my dad. News to me! It hurt that in 35 years my mom never told me. Especially when i had gone through a divorce in my early 20s, 10 years ago. Later I found my mom and dad's marriage license. Her divorce was about 6 months prior to marrying my dad. So many questions! They divorced when I was 4.
Potty pagan panda 2 years ago
Well, basically, I think, just my opinion, that it’s her life she doesn’t have to tell you anything. Your relationship with her shouldn’t be based on her past. IMO x
#29
When we cleaned out my paternal grandparents' house, I found a few underground newspapers. Unfortunately, they were of the white supremacist variety. :(
#30
This isn't as serious as some others in this thread, but when my mom passsed, my siblings and I were going through her stuff to see if there were any sentimental things we wanted to keep. The usual you know, a necklace for my sister, some knick knack elephants for my brother, I kept a ring and some tshirts.
We then came across this small little baggie full of our baby teeth that she kept after the tooth fairy came to us. Some people might think it's cute or whatever, but we all thought it was pretty weird and creepy to come across. Thanks, mom.
Jette Wang Wahnon 2 years ago
My grandmother had tie-pins made out of gold and my father´s and uncle´s first tooth set as if a gem stone.I still have my father´s...use it occasionally together with other pins...looks nice.
What do you think ?
D20 Games 2 years ago
When my grandmother "bit the dust" in 1998, we were going through her closet. We found a treasure trove of gag gifts, and naughty debauchery. She was a USO girl during WWII, and very actively involved with the VFW. All her friends, over the years would give her these gifts, because she loved that stuff, always made her laugh. Very dirty, and dark sense of humor. This is the same woman, who also, gave birth to eight kids, owned and worked a farm, had a pilots license, drank bikers under the table, could make the most seasoned military men blush. She was a badass. I miss and love you, Grams.
LH25 2 years ago
On the day of my Grandma's funeral, we found a letter she had written to my Grandpa after she found out she was dying. It talked about how much she loved him, and appreciated his understanding of how important taking care of family was. Along the lines of "you always said we'd be rich if I didn't help people out, but you knew what it meant to me". She also said that if I wanted her wedding ring I should have it. We had been talking about what she would want, to have it buried with her or passed on. I'm wearing it right now, have been for 29 years, ever since I got engaged then married.
jknbt jknbt 2 years ago (edited)
here's a sad story about a lonely man with hoards of cash... I worked as a contractor briefly on a large package container ship modifying the boiler controls. I had to wait until we were out to sea to have permission to work on the system. One of the old able seamen, a regular crewman, died while at sea. One of the officers and the bosun's mate (the ship's union steward) went into his cabin to clean it out after they got to the next port & removed the body. The man had never left the ship for any length of time since he was afraid he would lose his job if for some reason the ship departed without him. He had no relatives or friends. He never even took his pay to the branch bank in the ports for depositing. They always paid in cash the regular able seamen. Most immediately deposited it in a branch bank or bought a money order and mailed it off for deposit somewhere. Not this guy. The officer & bosun mate opened up several large sea trunks and found they were packed solid with hundred dollar bills. Wow. They could find no records anywhere of relatives or next of kin. How sad to be so rich, and also yet to be so alone with no life but your little job.
D20 Games 2 years ago
When my grandmother "bit the dust" in 1998, we were going through her closet. We found a treasure trove of gag gifts, and naughty debauchery. She was a USO girl during WWII, and very actively involved with the VFW. All her friends, over the years would give her these gifts, because she loved that stuff, always made her laugh. Very dirty, and dark sense of humor. This is the same woman, who also, gave birth to eight kids, owned and worked a farm, had a pilots license, drank bikers under the table, could make the most seasoned military men blush. She was a badass. I miss and love you, Grams.
LH25 2 years ago
On the day of my Grandma's funeral, we found a letter she had written to my Grandpa after she found out she was dying. It talked about how much she loved him, and appreciated his understanding of how important taking care of family was. Along the lines of "you always said we'd be rich if I didn't help people out, but you knew what it meant to me". She also said that if I wanted her wedding ring I should have it. We had been talking about what she would want, to have it buried with her or passed on. I'm wearing it right now, have been for 29 years, ever since I got engaged then married.
jknbt jknbt 2 years ago (edited)
here's a sad story about a lonely man with hoards of cash... I worked as a contractor briefly on a large package container ship modifying the boiler controls. I had to wait until we were out to sea to have permission to work on the system. One of the old able seamen, a regular crewman, died while at sea. One of the officers and the bosun's mate (the ship's union steward) went into his cabin to clean it out after they got to the next port & removed the body. The man had never left the ship for any length of time since he was afraid he would lose his job if for some reason the ship departed without him. He had no relatives or friends. He never even took his pay to the branch bank in the ports for depositing. They always paid in cash the regular able seamen. Most immediately deposited it in a branch bank or bought a money order and mailed it off for deposit somewhere. Not this guy. The officer & bosun mate opened up several large sea trunks and found they were packed solid with hundred dollar bills. Wow. They could find no records anywhere of relatives or next of kin. How sad to be so rich, and also yet to be so alone with no life but your little job.
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