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Is It Normal To Be Depended On My Soon To Be Husband For Emotional Support? I Need Advice Please! Asap!!
Ok..... so where to start? We lost our son 3 months ago. We have had lots of ups and downs since then. I feel like I need him now more than ever for emotional support but we are growing apart faster then with any problems we may have had in the past.
He only spoke to me about it once after hours of me forcing it out of him, I guess I just did not want to feel like I'm the only one carrying this pain alone. I still cry myself to sleep at night and randomly during the day. He shows no emotion what so ever.
Our son was only 8 days old and died in the ICU after begin under developed and was born at only 18 weeks into my pregnancy. He wanted to leave me 3 weeks after we buried him...(3 months ago today) he speaks to me less as the days go by. I have tried giving him space but I most definitely am breaking down on my own.
I am losing him now shortly after losing our son? I cannot even celebrate my birthday today, I feel I've let everyone down... And would rather trade places with him any day of my life. I would give anything for my baby boy to have at least one birthday. This keeps me awake at night with nightmares' that follow. I'm not seeking pity..
I want to feel like a human again. And clearly I need to find my own way as well to deal with this. Any advise?
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#1
My husband and I lost twins at 23 weeks. I cried every single day, for four years, until our son was born via surrogacy. My husband seemed to “get over it” fairly quickly. A lot of men simply don’t share our capacity for grief over these things. I turned to girlfriends and was “set up” with a woman who had a similar loss. We healed together, and gave the men a break from the constant flood of tears. Probably saved my marriage. You WILL find joy on your life again. Hang in there.
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#3
Ask him why he’s being emotionally absent. Relationships, specifically marriage, work on trust. He may not know he’s even hiding it, but chances are he’s hurting inside and is afraid of opening up to you / being vulnerable. Part of that may be the fact that he feels his role has to always appear as the stoic masculine foundational rock. Either way you need to address the issue - and that doesn’t mean it’s all you or him. Couples therapy does work if you start sooner rather than later - and you’re not weird for doing it after a crazy emotional event like losing a child. People that look down on couples therapy are dumb.
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GOD IS SHE 1 year ago
comfortable by making sure my "wife duties" if I can call it that is perfect done by the time he gets home. I tired and feel we are far beyond the point where theropy will help.
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