Right now I have a lot of problems going on with my MIL on top of them. I’m fighting cancer for the second time in my life. I was first diagnosed when I was 14, fought it and won. I lived a happy and peaceful life until recently when I had my health checked for job necessities and surprise! – I’m 30 years old and I’ve cancer again. This is secondary cancer, different organ, nothing to do with the first one. Fortunately, stage 2 only, however my oncologist warned that it’s aggressive, grows and spreads fast and I could be stage 3 or more in a short period of time so we had to act fast. Hearing that you have cancer is always devastating but to me, it feels like something wants me dead very much. I was distraught that I’ll have to go through this again. It’s a very hard fight, both physically and mentally, any current or former cancer patient will agree on that.

I had a surgery and now it’s time for chemotherapy. The doctors decided on oral chemo that I can take at home and only have to go to a hospital to do blood tests and scans every few weeks, which is very good, I wouldn’t have the strength to go there every day. I’m on a sick leave from work now and because of the treatment, I’m quite weak, I’ve lost a lot of weight. Before that my wife and I, we both had an equal share of household chores. Some days I feel better than others, however directly after every receive of chemo even the simplest chores are often a physical impossibility for me. I try to do as much as I can but my wife has been amazing, she doesn’t care at all that I don’t help around the house as much as I did. She’s like “Your only obligation now is not to die.”

The other day MIL came over to visit (she knows about my diagnosis). I was on the couch reading and my wife was doing something around the house. MIL walked over to me and was like ”Look at that! Lying on that couch as if you’re on the beach! Aren’t you ashamed of yourself – a grown man and lying down in the middle of a day while your poor wife is working as a slave!”

I said, “I just had chemo, I have a headache, I’m nauseous, I don’t feel good.”

She was like “A young man like you and cannot beat some silly cancer! You cannot cure yourself with those chemicals! Nature products only!”

Later that day MIL was talking to my wife in the kitchen. I didn’t mean to listen, but I heard their conversation anyway. MIL was like “You really shouldn’t let him take that poison he’s taking or he will die. It’s poison otherwise he wouldn’t feel so bad. Doctors nowadays are totally stupid, you should seek herbal treatments instead!” As all of that came from someone without any medical education and tries to be smarter than she actually is, my wife shut her up quickly and told her to stay away from things she understands nothing about.

The next day I was going to take my chemo, as I’m scheduled. I’ve to take it once a day and I prefer to do it in the morning because then I feel better in the evening and I can sleep better. But, as I walked into the bathroom and opened the cabinet, there was no trace of my chemo bottles. They were gone, completely. I asked my wife if she moved them by any chance and she said no. We looked around but realized it’s pointless because they couldn’t fall out of the cabinet and there’s also no need to hide the chemo, we don’t have children or pets who could accidentally swallow it. Then my wife remembered that just before leaving the day before, MIL asked to use the bathroom. She could have easily taken the bottles with her, considering her words about the toxicity of chemo.

My wife turned into a dragon. She was literally almost spitting fire as she got dressed and stormed out to go to MIL’s house, I had never seen her so mad before. She came back a half an hour later or so and told me that she demanded my medication from MIL and MIL admitted she took my chemo indeed and when she left our house, she threw it out. Obviously, it’s gone, we cannot search through every garbage bin the city but just the fact that she did it, blew my mind. My wife and MIL had a huge argument and MIL really thinks she did me a favor. She was like “Don’t you see he’s dying, don’t you see how fragile he’s become? It’s not cancer that’s killing him, it’s those pills! I got rid of them, I saved your husband and that’s how you thank me, by insulting me? Better go and buy him some herbal teas!”

Because of MIL, I missed a dose of chemo which is very bad and I had to see my oncologist immediately. When I told him I need more chemo, he was surprised and said “What happened to the chemo I gave you a short time ago? You couldn’t have used it all already.” and I was like “ Well, you see, doctor, my MIL stole my chemo”. He looked totally baffled as if the fact that someone would steal someone’s else chemo is ridiculously stupid.

He prescribed me new bottles of chemo and a new schedule on how I’m supposed to take it and now I keep it in a cabinet with a lock. Even though my wife swore to me MIL will never set her foot in our house again.

I’m posting for the second time now. I didn’t see that coming. We made a big mistake when we didn’t take MIL’s threats seriously enough. We thought that she’s like a dog that barks but doesn’t bite. Speaking of dogs, the only hero in this story is actually our dog, heavens bless our dog. It happened at night. My husband and me, we’re heavy sleepers, we were dreaming sweet dreams and didn’t notice anything. If our dog hadn’t jumped on our bed and barked, waking us up, we would probably both be dead now. I’m a firefighter myself and I realized that the fire was too big already, we couldn’t put it out by ourselves. We escaped through the window, fortunately unharmed. Somebody had called the firefighters who happened to be my colleagues, which was a weird situation, it was the first time they had to work on their buddy’s house. They tried to work as fast and as efficiently as they could but our house is damaged beyond repair, we can’t live in it anymore.

MIL got caught and basically dug her own grave because she herself said that she was hoping till the last minute that her son would come to his senses, break up with me and start to date women but he didn’t and she felt ashamed that she has created such a deformed human being, so she decided that it is better to have no son than gay son. She basically said she wanted to kill him. So even though at first what happened was classified as ”arson with the intent to damage the property” which would mean softer sentence, after those words it became ”arson with the intend to endanger life” and that means much more severe punishment, even up to life imprisonment. Our lawyer said that most likely she will not receive the maximum sentence because no one has died but she will receive at least a couple years behind bars. And there’s not much her lawyer can help her because she confessed.

And she said such a stupid thing ”Well but my son’s faggot husband is a firefighter, why didn’t he save his house?”

In the middle of the night, just awoken, no gear, no tools, no equipment, caught completely unaware by the fire. Are you serious, MIL? You think that just because I’m a firefighter means I can put the fire out with my bare hands? Many people think that housefire is like they see in the movies – flames and light but actually it is a complete darkness. The smoke makes the room so dark within minutes that you can’t even see your own hands. Housefire is always like a dark night.

Now we’re living with our friends while we find another place to live. Our clothing, our documents, passports, marriage certificate, everything is gone but of course, those are just things, we can buy them again. We’re alive, that’s the most important thing. My husband is done with her. He's so very upset that his own mother wished him dead just because he's gay. If before this he still hoped that their relationship could be fixed, now he doesn’t want to hear a single word about her no more. Her homophobic hate almost killed us. And it is our own fault as well because we didn't give her actions and words the seriousness they deserved. We know some gay people who also have homophobic parents but they have never tried actually killing their children. I guess that's why we didn't think that it might happen to us.

Due to reasons, my MIL had to move in with my husband and I for a while. I'm South Asian, my husband is white.

Indian food is what I was raised eating and I love it to this day. Due to stay at home orders I suddenly have a lot more time to cook than I did before. I stocked my kitchen with rice, different spices and whatever else I would need to make what I wanted.

My husband doesn't mind and enjoys the food. My MIL on the other hand, does not. She's never liked me. Some stuff she says include "what kind of people use their hands to eat? Just use a knife and spoon like normal people". My husband has stuck up for me on all those occasions before, but having to live with her 24/7 is wearing him down.

After she moved in, she immediately started complaining. "Why does that smell so strong? It'll cling to the walls. Stop that." or "God, are you really feeding my son that crap? Just eat normal American food."

I know quarantine is taking its toll on everyone, so I decided to stay quiet. My husband did try to talk to her once, but that fell on deaf ears. Like always.

I woke up yesterday morning, go downstairs. Chat with husband and MIL for a while. Go into the kitchen, open my pantry, and there. is. nothing. My rice, spices, flour everything has been cleaned out. I had a rice dispensing machine that I got a few years back and that was missing too.

I go to the fridge, and besides milk, bread, butter, jam and eggs there was nothing. I get my husband and ask him what happened to the food. He looks in confusion until MIL pipes up and says that she threw everything out. When asked why, she simply says "My child isn't used to eating your types of food. Just make him what Americans eat" And heck did that piss me off. She has this insane thing about not acknowledging that I am American, or when she does she tells people that I got my citizenship through marriage.

Wrong on all accounts. I was born here and so were the last 4 generations of my family. I go grocery shopping and they were out of stock on basically everything. I come home and she still has the audacity to ask why I'm not cooking like I usually do.

So, I have been with my girlfriend for 2 years now. Around 1 year and a half ago, she introduced me to her mother, I went to her house, and tried my best to give a good introduction. Talked to her a lot, acted friendly, etc etc, I wanted good first impressions.

However, my girlfriend gave her my number for something, and since then, she messages me every 2-3 days wanting to talk to me, sends lots of x's, sometimes love hearts. I told my girlfriend I was uncomfortable with it but she said it is her mum just being friendly and I should have a conversation back. (She genuinely thought this at the time, that everything was okay and normal)

Okay, this is where it gets messed up. One time her mum said to me "I want to tell you something although I don't think you'll like it maybe", she won't tell me at first, my girlfriend is with me at this point reading the chat with me, eventually, her mum admits she is in love with me, and wants to know if I feel the same, my girlfriend feels physically sick at this point and I feel beyond uncomfortable.

I tell her I love her daughter and it can never happen, and she flips the f*ck out, saying she hates me, I am a bastard, everything. She thinks her daughter has no clue of the situation. Later that night, her daughter comes home, and her mother tells her "I spoke to [me] earlier, I can't say what about, I just want to say that he is creepy as [hell], you shouldn't go near him, he seems like those predators you find on tv" what, the, [hell]

My girlfriend and I lose our sh*t, but she cannot admit to her mother she knows that she loves me because literally, her mum will throw her out into the streets the second she does with nowhere to go.

Anyway, ever since then up until this point. Her mum buys be gifts every week which is usually tobacco (since I smoke a lot) and gives me free money every week. I tell her I do not want it, but if I say no, she blames my girlfriend for me not taking it and goes crazy at her. If I say anything she doesn't like, she takes it out on my girlfriend.

She has tried to kiss me before, said shes thinking about me in bed, sent me texts saying she loves me, thinks I should be with her instead of her daughter, she will not take no for an answer. If I tell her no, she makes her daughter choose between me, or her, because if she can't have me, her daughter can't either. She seriously wants me and my girlfriend to break up and choose her instead.

Seriously reddit, the [hell] do I do here?

Extra Information: She hides her texts from her daughter so her daughter cannot find her texting me with these kinds of texts. She wants her daughter to break up with me, she has made up lies before about me to force her too. She will kick her out if she stands up to her.

More information: One time, my girlfriend came home smelling of sex (We had sex 10-15 minutes beforehand and had no time to washup, the plan was to go home and quickly shower) her mum saw her before she did, realized, and threw her out and didn't give her a reason, just screamed at her to leave. Then asked her to come home 2 days later.

UPDATE: I found out literally 5 minutes ago, my girlfriend checked her mums search history and found

"How to steal boy from girl"

"How to make him love you"

"How to turn a guy on"

04:40 UPDATE: CHAT LOGS : Back story, I was at her house seeing my girlfriend, I wanted to leave because mum made me uncomfortable, she realized, snapped at my girlfriend, I told her she is staying with me for a couple days for things to calm down. Also, the replies on my end are my girlfriend typing in my place. I would have been much worse back. https://imgur.com/a/KiGJu This is more on the worse side of issues that has happened with her, I could show AT LEAST 30+ chat logs of disturbing content from her. Also, I am not sure why the log jumps from 4th of August to the 13th. This is all 100% the same night.

TL:DR, girlfriends mum is in love/obsessed with me, wont leave me alone, if I tell her I don't feel the same or reject her, she takes it out on my girlfriend and I don't want that, help