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Family Drama Ensues After Wife Comes Home To Find 7-Month-Old Daughter Hungry And With A Full Diaper While Husband Is “Live Streaming” In Another Room
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It’s easy to get hate on the internet, but one man has just become one of the biggest villains on Reddit, and it sounds like he totally deserved it.
A few days ago, his wife turned to the platform’s ‘Am I the [Jerk]?‘ community to share a conflict that she just had with him, which involved the man neglecting their child in favor of bolstering his YouTube channel.
Apparently, the channel has 14,000 followers and he’s a big fan of live streaming, saying that his followers “are good for his mental health and that engaging with them weekly makes him become better at socializing and communicating.” But with the couple’s 7-month-old child, the husband keeps complaining that he doesn’t have enough time to do this.
The wife, however, thought it was a sacrifice he was willing to make for their daughter. Until recently when she came back from the grocery store.
RELATED:
This man couldn’t strike a balance between parenting and streaming, and his 7-month-old daughter had to bear the consequences
Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko (not the actual photo)
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Image credits: Kelly Sikkema (not the actual photo)
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Image credits: Sadiawil977
While ignoring a child’s needs is inexcusable, parents must remember that raising children as a team is about working together, agreeing on a shared approach, making decisions together, and supporting each other.
It’s not just about agreeing on things like children’s bedtimes, family nutrition, or discipline (even though these points are really important too), but also about you and your partner sharing responsibilities such as chores, paying the bills, handling paperwork, earning an income, and so on.
Talya Stone, a former public relations specialist turned blogger and the woman behind online journals Motherhood: The Real Deal and 40 Now What, who shares bold and authentic takes on a variety of topics including parenting and emotional well-being, has also covered parental disagreements between partners. She said that, at least in her own experience, communication is the key. “Even though you may not need clearly defined responsibilities, it’s important to sit down and discuss your approach to both parenting and the domestic scene, and the sharing of duties to enable a more collaborative approach to both aspects,” Stone told Bored Panda. “This also helps to minimize confusion and the potential for arguments and resentment stemming from either!”
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Raising children as a team gets easier with time and practice. But experts say there are also some skills that help you with parenting teamwork. These include:
- problem-solving – this means finding new and creative solutions in situations where you’re stuck or can’t work through family issues;
- managing conflict – this means managing and resolving disagreements in a collaborative and positive way;
- talking and listening – this means communicating in ways that help you connect and strengthen your relationship;
- backing each other up – this means parenting in consistent and supportive ways;
- accepting each other – this means living with and valuing each other’s differences.
Staying healthy, managing stress, and looking after yourself more can generally give you increased energy.
“As parents, it’s so important to retain a sense of self—both for us and for our children,” Stone said. “While I do think you need to be on the same page with your partner on parenting, it’s important to honor your individual personalities and quirks, and I think that children really benefit from being exposed to and nurtured with these differences in the mix.”
The mom believes it all adds to the rich tapestry of life and would otherwise result in raising automatons.
Most people thought the husband was out of his mind
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With so many things going on, it’s only natural that every now and then, parents have differences in opinion. Again, the emphasis should be on tackling them—unresolved issues can lead to fractures in the relationship and possibly even divorce or separation.
“It’s important to talk about and address issues as they come up, rather than letting them build up and fester which usually results in a bigger conflict,” Talya Stone said. “I wouldn’t say it’s about keeping them contained, so much as recognizing the issues as they present themselves, then setting aside time to discuss them in a calm manner rather than in the heat of the moment which typically doesn’t end well.”
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The consequences of having prolonged differences in parenting can lead to more conflict, emotional and physical disconnect, lack of trust, and certain negative behavioral changes, so it’s vital to strive for a more unified approach.
It’s also worth remembering that every parent makes mistakes. You and your partner aren’t exempt from this universal truth either.
But if something huge comes up, and the two of you can’t resolve your differences in a respectful way, you may want to consider seeing a mental health professional.
Try to truly understand the reasoning behind the other parent’s stance by building upon common ground and working back to the cause of the problem.
But some called out the mother’s suspicious 4-hour grocery run
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Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.
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Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.
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I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.
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I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.
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What do you think ?
Spannidandoolar 2 years ago
I love how because she's female they are all classing her 4 hour grocery (and I assume other household essentials/errands) trip as "me time" for her and therefore she is TA. HOUSEHOLD TASKS DO NOT COUNT AS TIME FOR YOURSELF!
JazzyfromtheNati 2 years ago
Exactly!! Cuz her shopping for him, her and their infant is her f*****g hobby! Good grief this planet is doomed
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Kimberly Anderson 2 years ago
Um if you consider an infant or any size child a hobby your children are doomed if you have any, and if you don't please keep it that way.
Fail Master 2 years ago
Um you might want to read the comment you're replying to more carefully without responding and making yourself look an idiot.
Firstname Lastname 2 years ago
Too late, Kimberly is obviously a Karen and is just looking to act like a b—ch.
Candice Cook 2 years ago
Right? And if you have the misfortune of having kids with a person that ultimately turns out to be a terrible coparent(and I did so I can say with certainty), you can't even go to the grocery store or run errands alone without feeling an enormous amount of stress and anxiety. That's definitely how I'd describe a desirable micro vacay. Gimme a break. If people think grocery shopping is acceptable "me time" they are so out of touch with reality. If that's your one and only break from your child...omg that's the kind of people that end up on the news when they inevitably lose. their. s**t.
Lorraine Isaac 2 years ago
I used to take an hour or so to go grocery shopping in the evening when my son was 2, and I was pregnant with my second. I was a SAHM, and we only had one car, so I couldn't go during the day very easily. When I got home my husband would say, "Happy now, you have had an outing?" Um....I was grocery shopping. I wasn't having coffee or drinks with friends. Yes, it got me out of the house, but it wasn't exactly fun.
Seth Daniel 2 years ago
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Coffee or drinks with friends is NEVER part of being a new parent. Yes, the trip to the grocery store without baby IS the mental health break that is available and you're damn lucky to have a partner who did not insist on having it for himself and left it for you to have. Anyone not understanding this and was expecting to have girls' night did not understand at all what they were getting into.
Becca Hauck 2 years ago
So you're saying that a couple hours having coffee with friends when you have a baby is not a thing but 4 hours minimum (because you know if she'd been gone 7 hours he'd have been ego stroking for 7 hours) spending quality time with his "fans" is a thing? If you ever get married, please promise that you'll be the one to give up time for yourself and have YOUR "me time" while price matching, reading labels, etc. for the entire family. It's a job to have to shop for the needs of an entire family. It's not fun.
Denise Painter 2 years ago
Wow Seth. Betting you are single and will stay that way with that attitude.
Candice Cook 2 years ago
I'm just praying nobody is that big of a fool. The horror of it😂 to think you had a kid with somebody that thought you'd be lucky just to get a break😂😂😂But yes, Seth... I'd be damn lucky to have a break from mine since I'm the only one taking care of them. I won't hold my breath though since it's only happened a handful of times in the last 13 years.
Kimberly Anderson 2 years ago
Seth hid that comment for good reason. He sounds like a real idiot.
Kimberly Anderson 2 years ago
Me time "should be" when you are solely focused on you. The mental and the physical you. To me that's a description of me time. It's all about me for 4 hours, but I would only enjoy the benefits knowing that my baby is in capable hands.
Firstname Lastname 2 years ago
So many fat, ugly, man-hating Karens in this thread. I feel bad for all your husbands. I guarantee you they all regret marrying you b—ches.
Andrea Cranford 2 years ago
There are tons of reasons a shopping trip could take longer. Sometimes you might have to stop at different stores for different products or run errands as well as go grocery shopping. A lot of things can pile up when you have a new baby. She might be one of those Costco/Sam's Club people who do 1 shopping trip a month/season/year and buy in bulk. That stuff takes a long time to gather up and you might need help to pull down the large products. She could be disabled. My mom has mobility issues, but refuses to use one of those motorized carts. She also likes to hunt for bargains on every aisle. Some days, it can take several hours to finish. The OP also said she was "gone" for 4 hours, not necessarily shopping. Traffic could have been terrible. She might live a long distance from the store. She could have stopped for gas, saw the price and wept for a solid 2 hours. None of this matters. the OP's husband AGREED to watch the baby then snuck off to play games like a teenager.
Kimberly Anderson 2 years ago
It's still on her because again, she did not just find out that day, that her husband is unreliable and irresponsible. Further more if that's the way he cares for his baby she needs to rearrange some things because if he irresponsible in something as simple as keep an eye on a sleeping baby what could happen if she is wide awake squirming, rolling and scooting around
Fail Master 2 years ago
Kim you're a real piece of work. Don't procreate because this world less people like you in general. The dad's the AH period. Zero blame for the mother here. Any other opinion is asinine and garbage. This is irrefutable.
The Oak Tree Journeys 2 years ago
He also agreed to wait! People seem to ignore that part. She heard his needs and was willing to discuss them after she got back. He agreed to those terms then broke the agreement and neglected his child If he'd been a babysitter instead of the dad, he would have been fired on the spot!
michael a 2 years ago
My 1 trip to the store 1/3 the time reminds me to hit up other stores I've put off going too on my off days. Even worse is when one errand turns to five and on your day off. Also, as a disabled person (SCI) who took care of my mother with Dementia, you can not leave a person in a soiled state for any amount of time because Skin Breakdown is very serious to ALL Humans of Any Age.
Monkeywrench Productions 2 years ago
no.. the bottle of wine in the mid afternoon after youre done counts as me time
Julie Hoefer 2 years ago
but chances are she dawdled and checked up on him, already knowing he FAILS.....
Health Investigators 2 years ago
Yes they do . It’s shopping not planting the groceries. Stop acting as if it’s 1950s 2022… and for two adults 4 hour shopping trips lol sick with the bs ..
justin price 2 years ago
You're the one applying gender here. I'm male and going out shopping, even for groceries, is me time. Put on headphones, don't need to interact with anyone else except paying or do anything particularly stressful or mentally exhausting. Where you pulled 'because she's a women' out of, maybe reevaluate.
Britney Anthony 2 years ago
Yep all those grocery’s and errand did the self’s? If you wouldn’t do this for your kid don’t have one.
Brandon Walker 2 years ago
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I ha e grocery shopped for a group of 10 adults and 4 teens and 2 children for 7 days, and it took like 1.5 hrs, there's no world where a 4 hr trip makes sense unless you live over an hr away, because I am a terribly slow inefficient shopper, so yeah, that's definitely taking some of that time alone, and also, plenty of people have called guys driving to work or breaks at work and counted them as the guy getting me time on these sites, so it's really not inconsistent based on sex
Becca Hauck 2 years ago
It makes sense for me and I HATE shopping. I suppose I could do most of it at 1 store and pay ridiculously higher prices that way.. But you're still going to run into the fact that no single store is going to have everything that you need. But if you did shop so.....I don't know if the word is carelessly...I suppose you wouldn't have to spend an hour and a half in line because you stood in 3 or 4 different lines. Personally though, my husband would have lost it on me if I weren't careful with our money. For example, allergy meds at Walmart cost about $30 for a month supply for one person but if you go to a different store, you can get them for $4. But at that store, you can't buy your groceries because they have nothing fresh at all and what they do have, it's twice what you'd spend at Walmart.
CMDR unematti 2 years ago
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I think they're saying that grocery took maybe 2 hours and the rest was her own time, at least that was what i thought
Seth Daniel 2 years ago
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In this context they absolutely do count as mental health breaks because that is time away from baby. Being a parent of a baby does NOT include trips to the spa. Going to the grocery store without the baby IS the me time.
Becca Hauck 2 years ago
If it were you that had to do it that way, you'd be singing a whole different tune. But keep posting stuff like this. When my daughter feels bad that she's not married...I like for her to know deep down the kinds of bullets that she's dodging by remaining single.
Dr. Gonzo 2 years ago
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You're wrong, and a fn idîot, because I'm a single father of 17 fn years, and if I went to the store without my son it was definitely less stressful because I could slowly browse, etc. You and all these other fn bîtches are fn liars. You're lying out your a*s because you can't admit doing anything other than "slaving for your fn family", looking for sympathy and fn attention. You âssholes are the real fn pos.
Krixl Duke 2 years ago
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No man would ever take 4 hrs shopping. It's something we couldn't even contemplate and sounds bat crazy
Lyone Fein 2 years ago
Well I live in a small town, so I need to drive about 20-25 minutes to get to the grocery stores every other week. Because I only go twice a month, it's a huge trip. I end up going to 3 stores usually. And yes, my trips are usually 4 hours long. I see no problem with the length of her working trip.
The Other Guest 2 years ago
People forget that not everyone lives 5 minutes from the nearest grocery store. And if it's been a while since they've stocked up, that will increase the time it takes to shop as well. I agree, 4 hours isn't necessarily unreasonable, depending on the circumstances. Heck, I live within a 10 minute drive of multiple grocery stores, and it can still take me 2 hours or so to get everything.
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Darcy Marie 2 years ago
My aunt lives 20 minutes from the closest town with stores. She goes to 4-5 stores. It takes her 3-5 hours to shop. And the only extra she does is goes through the drive through to get coffee. She goes every week. She has 5 kids. I will say it takes her a little longer because she dawdles a little bit because that's just who she is.
Sean Williams 2 years ago
I shop for people for a living it does not take 4 hours regardless of distance unless you are going extremely slow on propose. Taking a 4chr shopping trip is a choice and is far from normal.
The Other Guest 2 years ago
Your life experiences are not universal; it's absolutely possible that a 4-hour shopping trip can occur without the shopper dawdling or running other errands. And even if she was purposely shopping slowly (and I'm not agreeing that she was), so what? It's probably the first real time away from the kid she's had since giving birth, plus the baby was allegedly being cared for by a responsible adult.
Jenny Harrell 2 years ago
Even if you live 5 minutes from a grocery store, it still may take 4 hours to run errands. Especially if you're shopping around for the cheapest prices.
Margaret Weaver 2 years ago (edited)
My parents retired to northeast france, just over an hour's drive from Langres, and when my mother goes shopping for the week, she's gone all morning. Completely normal, and totally routine.
Chantry Hammond 2 years ago
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Nah, bullshite. I'm 20 Mike's from the nearest grocery store which is a 20-30 min drive one way so that's an hour of drive time, than an hour or less of grocery shopping. Going to 2-3 stores window browsing, looking at clothes isn't grocery shopping. Both parents are at fault here but we don't have the dad's side and we don't know how long the baby was awake or in need of a diaper change. There's also a difference in running errands and going grocery shopping but even then 4 hours ( half of an average workday) is ridiculous unless you're really out in the boonies and shopping for supplies to last a month or something.
Jenny Harrell 2 years ago
If you have to go to multiple stores for the cheapest prices on certain groceries, than yes it can take up to 4 hours.
Cassie 2 years ago
Yea, we used to have to drive an hour each way plus the shopping, which I tried to do the entire month since the trip was so long. Grocery shopping was an all day event for me back then. Besides, even if she is going slow to get a little "me time", I mean, that's pretty sad that the only moments she can catch a break are just doing a different part of her job more slowly. The biggest thing for me, though, was him complaining about his needs not being met after neglecting his baby.
Kady LaHaie 2 years ago
My house is 3 miles from the store and I take at least 3 hours when I do weekly shopping.
Mikey Kliss 2 years ago
I grew up like that too. My wife was even further so the nearest Walmart or Aldis was an hour away
Sarah Bell 2 years ago
She might have even needed a few hours to have a break and he should be able to care for his daughter while mom has a break . My kids are 10f and 5m and we try to do things as a family when their dad is off work since he works 4 on 4 off long shifts they miss him when he's working and they me for the most part on this days. So he tries to spend time with them one on one and just him and them to bond with them and then we spend the rest if the time together as a family of 4.
Sarah Bell 2 years ago
The point is that it's healthy for him to care for him while she takes a breather and he can take a break sometimes too while the rest is spent together . I can't figure out how to edit and proof reading is hard when I have to start at the beginning of one big line lol .
The Oak Tree Journeys 2 years ago (edited)
Same here! It takes so long to get anywhere where I live that I just dread it! And she may not have had just groceries to get - there may have been bills to be paid, bank runs, etc. I know when I have to go out I have to do everything all in one trip (and gas is so outrageous now that spreading it out over the course of a week is not an option), so I have to clear out my entire day. So, no 4 hours is not an unreasonable amount of time. Not to mention, she might have sleep deprivation and it may take her a little longer to remember what she needs. Edit: Also, HE agreed to wait until she got back so they could discuss a good time. I'm seeing a ton of comments about how women are horrible grocery shoppers and she's to blame. No. He AGREED to wait until they could discuss a good time when she got back. She heard his needs and was willing to give him the time he needed. He was unwilling to wait - putting his own needs ahead of his child's. This is not a male/female issue, as my brother takes 3 hours just to go to the dollar store, but an issue of neglect and selfishness. He needs parental counselling and to grow up.
I Am LoKitty Of Meowsgard 2 years ago
She said that she decided to go home early after worrying he wasn't doing what she was texting him, so she was planning on spending longer than 4 hours shopping.
Health Investigators 2 years ago
I live 48 mins from nearest Walmart and still doesn’t take me 4 hours to shop and I shop for a household of 5 stop it. The excuse is trash especially when you shopping for two adults and a 7month old child but as a parent of 3 .. 4 hour naps mid day is normal .. sometimes more .
Ruud 2 years ago (edited)
There is just not enough info. I do a weeks worth of groceries (3 supermarkets, 1 bakery, 1 butcher) within an hour. Plus the 30 min travel time makes 90 min roughly. So 4 hours is way to much for me. But she never explained if 4 hours is reasonable in her situation, which it could be. Just like we have no info of whether the baby was asleep for the whole time, if the baby s**t herself just before she came back, if she was crying, etc. That's what you get when you hear only one side of the story. Perhaps he really is an a*****e and never checked on the baby, our perhaps he checked every hour and the baby had been sleeping and had woken up and s**t herself just before she came back, while she simple assumed he didn't. Eitherway, not enough info in my opinion.
Susan Mercurio 2 years ago
This is what I was thinking. I lived in a rural area and the nearest grocery store was 35 miles away. It was an all-day trip to go to town, buy groceries, go to Woolworth's, go to the dry cleaners, etc. I did it once a month.
Pascal Arevalo 2 years ago
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Yeah thatbis totaly normal and happens ALL THE TIME
Seth Daniel 2 years ago
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And that entire "working trip" would qualify a mental health break because whether driving or shopping you are still allowed time away from baby. And that would be the exact same type of time that the husband is being denied.
Becca Hauck 2 years ago
It's not. Husband wants hours of ego stroking. Wife spent hours doing a necessary chore for the entire family. Yet, even if she found her chore pleasant, how is it okay at all to neglect your infant in order to take his "me time"?! He could wait until she was home and tell her he's going to spend time with his fans and then shut the door and lock it. Personally, all the driving and shopping is stressful for me. It's just 10 times worse when you have to also care for an infant while calculating costs, checking labels, etc.
Sean Williams 2 years ago
Well seeing how you weren't there, she wasn't there, and no one knows when the kid woke up exactly. Have a really hard time calling neglect. But that what happens when people lead with emotions instead of fact
Becca Hauck 2 years ago
Yeah, having 4 kids gives me no idea what-so-ever about how often infants nap, need to be fed, and need diaper changes./s Also understanding the nature of getting sucked into the net... Dude had no clue what was going on with his baby for hours. Further proof is that he was sure that his fans would abandon him after hearing that he was in charge of a baby during the time he was with them. If it was innocent, his fans would know that he took quick breaks etc and he'd have no cause to worry about it. But then, I don't have a vested interest in convincing the public that I, and others of my gender, can abandon a baby for 4 hours and call it good. There's so many things that can happen in 4 hours. I cannot imagine watching my infant nephew and my sister returning 4 hours later asking me how her baby is...me not knowing.
the versifier 2 years ago
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You don't need to go to 3 stores. The point is that she was clearly taking her time and then overreacting
Mindy Haun 2 years ago
Hell no. She wasn't. He didn't take care of their child, didn't feed or change her while he was streaming. She didn't overreact at all. You one of his buddies or something? Doesn't matter how long she was gone.
Krixl Duke 2 years ago
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A man can do it in half the time. Guess that's why women get paid less
TCW Sam Vimes 2 years ago
Why is everyone going on about the 4 hours? Seeing how that A-hole of a father couldn't even care for his daughter for 4 hours you can bet he is like this all the time. So she does all the work, AND goes shopping and ends up as the accused? Wow.
Flare The Sexy Incubus 2 years ago
Duke...my TWO parents take hours to shop. They don't go anywhere else. And he was at home.. but wasn't actually watching his daughter...she had a soiled diaper and wasn't even fed. How are going to blame the woman going to buy food for her family, and defend the guy who was SPECIFICALLY asked to watch his own child, instead decides streaming a game was FAR more important, even though FAR more popular streamers can at LEAST take p**s breaks. You're disgusting for defending that man.
Load More Replies... Emma Q. 2 years ago
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That is a very long time to grocery shop. There's no way she didn't do something to enjoy herself or at least enjoy the peace and quiet. She could have taken the baby with her. However, I side with her anyway. Mental health is important but she was trying to fit in sometime for him to stream but he refused to compromise. The health of the child comes first and he couldn't hold off until his wife came home?
BluEyedSeoulite 2 years ago
I initially downvoted you for the "She could have taken the baby with" but switched because you made a valid point. Yes, she could have taken the baby herself but each baby is different. My kids would wake up as soon as I took them out of the car (even with a travel system) so shopping with a cranky baby is extremely stressful. My kids also hated being in their carseats so it was a meltdown at every traffic light, only coming to a stop right before I hit another red light. Omg, it was terrible. I know others have babies that sleep throgh everything, pass out quickly in the car. Totally different experiences. If her kid is like mine, I would like to leave baby home with a RESPONSIBLE caregiver. Unfortunately, it seems like her husband doesn't prioritize his child so 99% of child rearing is now going to be squarely on her shoulders
Krixl Duke 2 years ago (edited)
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The kid was left by the mother. The dad stayed home and watched the kid. The mom left for 4hrs to do something that takes 1hr for all men on this planet. Only women think 4 hrs shopping is ok. That's 4hrs 20hrs 80 bucks of time
BluEyedSeoulite 2 years ago
Odd how men think it just takes an hour to shop but the majority of shopping is handled by women. My husband literally video calls me while in the grocery store because he has no idea where things are or what things mean on my list (corn tortilla, Mexican shredded cheese, full milk). While he may get in and out quickly without a list, he doesn't get most of what we need, he shops for himself only. Big difference when you are shopping for yourself or for multiple people/household.
Spannidandoolar 2 years ago
I love how because she's female they are all classing her 4 hour grocery (and I assume other household essentials/errands) trip as "me time" for her and therefore she is TA. HOUSEHOLD TASKS DO NOT COUNT AS TIME FOR YOURSELF!
JazzyfromtheNati 2 years ago
Exactly!! Cuz her shopping for him, her and their infant is her f*****g hobby! Good grief this planet is doomed
Load More Replies... Kimberly Anderson 2 years ago
Um if you consider an infant or any size child a hobby your children are doomed if you have any, and if you don't please keep it that way.
Fail Master 2 years ago
Um you might want to read the comment you're replying to more carefully without responding and making yourself look an idiot.
Firstname Lastname 2 years ago
Too late, Kimberly is obviously a Karen and is just looking to act like a b—ch.
Candice Cook 2 years ago
Right? And if you have the misfortune of having kids with a person that ultimately turns out to be a terrible coparent(and I did so I can say with certainty), you can't even go to the grocery store or run errands alone without feeling an enormous amount of stress and anxiety. That's definitely how I'd describe a desirable micro vacay. Gimme a break. If people think grocery shopping is acceptable "me time" they are so out of touch with reality. If that's your one and only break from your child...omg that's the kind of people that end up on the news when they inevitably lose. their. s**t.
Lorraine Isaac 2 years ago
I used to take an hour or so to go grocery shopping in the evening when my son was 2, and I was pregnant with my second. I was a SAHM, and we only had one car, so I couldn't go during the day very easily. When I got home my husband would say, "Happy now, you have had an outing?" Um....I was grocery shopping. I wasn't having coffee or drinks with friends. Yes, it got me out of the house, but it wasn't exactly fun.
Seth Daniel 2 years ago
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Coffee or drinks with friends is NEVER part of being a new parent. Yes, the trip to the grocery store without baby IS the mental health break that is available and you're damn lucky to have a partner who did not insist on having it for himself and left it for you to have. Anyone not understanding this and was expecting to have girls' night did not understand at all what they were getting into.
Becca Hauck 2 years ago
So you're saying that a couple hours having coffee with friends when you have a baby is not a thing but 4 hours minimum (because you know if she'd been gone 7 hours he'd have been ego stroking for 7 hours) spending quality time with his "fans" is a thing? If you ever get married, please promise that you'll be the one to give up time for yourself and have YOUR "me time" while price matching, reading labels, etc. for the entire family. It's a job to have to shop for the needs of an entire family. It's not fun.
Denise Painter 2 years ago
Wow Seth. Betting you are single and will stay that way with that attitude.
Candice Cook 2 years ago
I'm just praying nobody is that big of a fool. The horror of it😂 to think you had a kid with somebody that thought you'd be lucky just to get a break😂😂😂But yes, Seth... I'd be damn lucky to have a break from mine since I'm the only one taking care of them. I won't hold my breath though since it's only happened a handful of times in the last 13 years.
Kimberly Anderson 2 years ago
Seth hid that comment for good reason. He sounds like a real idiot.
Kimberly Anderson 2 years ago
Me time "should be" when you are solely focused on you. The mental and the physical you. To me that's a description of me time. It's all about me for 4 hours, but I would only enjoy the benefits knowing that my baby is in capable hands.
Firstname Lastname 2 years ago
So many fat, ugly, man-hating Karens in this thread. I feel bad for all your husbands. I guarantee you they all regret marrying you b—ches.
Andrea Cranford 2 years ago
There are tons of reasons a shopping trip could take longer. Sometimes you might have to stop at different stores for different products or run errands as well as go grocery shopping. A lot of things can pile up when you have a new baby. She might be one of those Costco/Sam's Club people who do 1 shopping trip a month/season/year and buy in bulk. That stuff takes a long time to gather up and you might need help to pull down the large products. She could be disabled. My mom has mobility issues, but refuses to use one of those motorized carts. She also likes to hunt for bargains on every aisle. Some days, it can take several hours to finish. The OP also said she was "gone" for 4 hours, not necessarily shopping. Traffic could have been terrible. She might live a long distance from the store. She could have stopped for gas, saw the price and wept for a solid 2 hours. None of this matters. the OP's husband AGREED to watch the baby then snuck off to play games like a teenager.
Kimberly Anderson 2 years ago
It's still on her because again, she did not just find out that day, that her husband is unreliable and irresponsible. Further more if that's the way he cares for his baby she needs to rearrange some things because if he irresponsible in something as simple as keep an eye on a sleeping baby what could happen if she is wide awake squirming, rolling and scooting around
Fail Master 2 years ago
Kim you're a real piece of work. Don't procreate because this world less people like you in general. The dad's the AH period. Zero blame for the mother here. Any other opinion is asinine and garbage. This is irrefutable.
The Oak Tree Journeys 2 years ago
He also agreed to wait! People seem to ignore that part. She heard his needs and was willing to discuss them after she got back. He agreed to those terms then broke the agreement and neglected his child If he'd been a babysitter instead of the dad, he would have been fired on the spot!
michael a 2 years ago
My 1 trip to the store 1/3 the time reminds me to hit up other stores I've put off going too on my off days. Even worse is when one errand turns to five and on your day off. Also, as a disabled person (SCI) who took care of my mother with Dementia, you can not leave a person in a soiled state for any amount of time because Skin Breakdown is very serious to ALL Humans of Any Age.
Monkeywrench Productions 2 years ago
no.. the bottle of wine in the mid afternoon after youre done counts as me time
Julie Hoefer 2 years ago
but chances are she dawdled and checked up on him, already knowing he FAILS.....
Health Investigators 2 years ago
Yes they do . It’s shopping not planting the groceries. Stop acting as if it’s 1950s 2022… and for two adults 4 hour shopping trips lol sick with the bs ..
justin price 2 years ago
You're the one applying gender here. I'm male and going out shopping, even for groceries, is me time. Put on headphones, don't need to interact with anyone else except paying or do anything particularly stressful or mentally exhausting. Where you pulled 'because she's a women' out of, maybe reevaluate.
Britney Anthony 2 years ago
Yep all those grocery’s and errand did the self’s? If you wouldn’t do this for your kid don’t have one.
Brandon Walker 2 years ago
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I ha e grocery shopped for a group of 10 adults and 4 teens and 2 children for 7 days, and it took like 1.5 hrs, there's no world where a 4 hr trip makes sense unless you live over an hr away, because I am a terribly slow inefficient shopper, so yeah, that's definitely taking some of that time alone, and also, plenty of people have called guys driving to work or breaks at work and counted them as the guy getting me time on these sites, so it's really not inconsistent based on sex
Becca Hauck 2 years ago
It makes sense for me and I HATE shopping. I suppose I could do most of it at 1 store and pay ridiculously higher prices that way.. But you're still going to run into the fact that no single store is going to have everything that you need. But if you did shop so.....I don't know if the word is carelessly...I suppose you wouldn't have to spend an hour and a half in line because you stood in 3 or 4 different lines. Personally though, my husband would have lost it on me if I weren't careful with our money. For example, allergy meds at Walmart cost about $30 for a month supply for one person but if you go to a different store, you can get them for $4. But at that store, you can't buy your groceries because they have nothing fresh at all and what they do have, it's twice what you'd spend at Walmart.
CMDR unematti 2 years ago
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I think they're saying that grocery took maybe 2 hours and the rest was her own time, at least that was what i thought
Seth Daniel 2 years ago
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In this context they absolutely do count as mental health breaks because that is time away from baby. Being a parent of a baby does NOT include trips to the spa. Going to the grocery store without the baby IS the me time.
Becca Hauck 2 years ago
If it were you that had to do it that way, you'd be singing a whole different tune. But keep posting stuff like this. When my daughter feels bad that she's not married...I like for her to know deep down the kinds of bullets that she's dodging by remaining single.
Dr. Gonzo 2 years ago
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You're wrong, and a fn idîot, because I'm a single father of 17 fn years, and if I went to the store without my son it was definitely less stressful because I could slowly browse, etc. You and all these other fn bîtches are fn liars. You're lying out your a*s because you can't admit doing anything other than "slaving for your fn family", looking for sympathy and fn attention. You âssholes are the real fn pos.
Krixl Duke 2 years ago
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No man would ever take 4 hrs shopping. It's something we couldn't even contemplate and sounds bat crazy
Lyone Fein 2 years ago
Well I live in a small town, so I need to drive about 20-25 minutes to get to the grocery stores every other week. Because I only go twice a month, it's a huge trip. I end up going to 3 stores usually. And yes, my trips are usually 4 hours long. I see no problem with the length of her working trip.
The Other Guest 2 years ago
People forget that not everyone lives 5 minutes from the nearest grocery store. And if it's been a while since they've stocked up, that will increase the time it takes to shop as well. I agree, 4 hours isn't necessarily unreasonable, depending on the circumstances. Heck, I live within a 10 minute drive of multiple grocery stores, and it can still take me 2 hours or so to get everything.
Load More Replies... Darcy Marie 2 years ago
My aunt lives 20 minutes from the closest town with stores. She goes to 4-5 stores. It takes her 3-5 hours to shop. And the only extra she does is goes through the drive through to get coffee. She goes every week. She has 5 kids. I will say it takes her a little longer because she dawdles a little bit because that's just who she is.
Sean Williams 2 years ago
I shop for people for a living it does not take 4 hours regardless of distance unless you are going extremely slow on propose. Taking a 4chr shopping trip is a choice and is far from normal.
The Other Guest 2 years ago
Your life experiences are not universal; it's absolutely possible that a 4-hour shopping trip can occur without the shopper dawdling or running other errands. And even if she was purposely shopping slowly (and I'm not agreeing that she was), so what? It's probably the first real time away from the kid she's had since giving birth, plus the baby was allegedly being cared for by a responsible adult.
Jenny Harrell 2 years ago
Even if you live 5 minutes from a grocery store, it still may take 4 hours to run errands. Especially if you're shopping around for the cheapest prices.
Margaret Weaver 2 years ago (edited)
My parents retired to northeast france, just over an hour's drive from Langres, and when my mother goes shopping for the week, she's gone all morning. Completely normal, and totally routine.
Chantry Hammond 2 years ago
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Nah, bullshite. I'm 20 Mike's from the nearest grocery store which is a 20-30 min drive one way so that's an hour of drive time, than an hour or less of grocery shopping. Going to 2-3 stores window browsing, looking at clothes isn't grocery shopping. Both parents are at fault here but we don't have the dad's side and we don't know how long the baby was awake or in need of a diaper change. There's also a difference in running errands and going grocery shopping but even then 4 hours ( half of an average workday) is ridiculous unless you're really out in the boonies and shopping for supplies to last a month or something.
Jenny Harrell 2 years ago
If you have to go to multiple stores for the cheapest prices on certain groceries, than yes it can take up to 4 hours.
Cassie 2 years ago
Yea, we used to have to drive an hour each way plus the shopping, which I tried to do the entire month since the trip was so long. Grocery shopping was an all day event for me back then. Besides, even if she is going slow to get a little "me time", I mean, that's pretty sad that the only moments she can catch a break are just doing a different part of her job more slowly. The biggest thing for me, though, was him complaining about his needs not being met after neglecting his baby.
Kady LaHaie 2 years ago
My house is 3 miles from the store and I take at least 3 hours when I do weekly shopping.
Mikey Kliss 2 years ago
I grew up like that too. My wife was even further so the nearest Walmart or Aldis was an hour away
Sarah Bell 2 years ago
She might have even needed a few hours to have a break and he should be able to care for his daughter while mom has a break . My kids are 10f and 5m and we try to do things as a family when their dad is off work since he works 4 on 4 off long shifts they miss him when he's working and they me for the most part on this days. So he tries to spend time with them one on one and just him and them to bond with them and then we spend the rest if the time together as a family of 4.
Sarah Bell 2 years ago
The point is that it's healthy for him to care for him while she takes a breather and he can take a break sometimes too while the rest is spent together . I can't figure out how to edit and proof reading is hard when I have to start at the beginning of one big line lol .
The Oak Tree Journeys 2 years ago (edited)
Same here! It takes so long to get anywhere where I live that I just dread it! And she may not have had just groceries to get - there may have been bills to be paid, bank runs, etc. I know when I have to go out I have to do everything all in one trip (and gas is so outrageous now that spreading it out over the course of a week is not an option), so I have to clear out my entire day. So, no 4 hours is not an unreasonable amount of time. Not to mention, she might have sleep deprivation and it may take her a little longer to remember what she needs. Edit: Also, HE agreed to wait until she got back so they could discuss a good time. I'm seeing a ton of comments about how women are horrible grocery shoppers and she's to blame. No. He AGREED to wait until they could discuss a good time when she got back. She heard his needs and was willing to give him the time he needed. He was unwilling to wait - putting his own needs ahead of his child's. This is not a male/female issue, as my brother takes 3 hours just to go to the dollar store, but an issue of neglect and selfishness. He needs parental counselling and to grow up.
I Am LoKitty Of Meowsgard 2 years ago
She said that she decided to go home early after worrying he wasn't doing what she was texting him, so she was planning on spending longer than 4 hours shopping.
Health Investigators 2 years ago
I live 48 mins from nearest Walmart and still doesn’t take me 4 hours to shop and I shop for a household of 5 stop it. The excuse is trash especially when you shopping for two adults and a 7month old child but as a parent of 3 .. 4 hour naps mid day is normal .. sometimes more .
Ruud 2 years ago (edited)
There is just not enough info. I do a weeks worth of groceries (3 supermarkets, 1 bakery, 1 butcher) within an hour. Plus the 30 min travel time makes 90 min roughly. So 4 hours is way to much for me. But she never explained if 4 hours is reasonable in her situation, which it could be. Just like we have no info of whether the baby was asleep for the whole time, if the baby s**t herself just before she came back, if she was crying, etc. That's what you get when you hear only one side of the story. Perhaps he really is an a*****e and never checked on the baby, our perhaps he checked every hour and the baby had been sleeping and had woken up and s**t herself just before she came back, while she simple assumed he didn't. Eitherway, not enough info in my opinion.
Susan Mercurio 2 years ago
This is what I was thinking. I lived in a rural area and the nearest grocery store was 35 miles away. It was an all-day trip to go to town, buy groceries, go to Woolworth's, go to the dry cleaners, etc. I did it once a month.
Pascal Arevalo 2 years ago
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Yeah thatbis totaly normal and happens ALL THE TIME
Seth Daniel 2 years ago
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And that entire "working trip" would qualify a mental health break because whether driving or shopping you are still allowed time away from baby. And that would be the exact same type of time that the husband is being denied.
Becca Hauck 2 years ago
It's not. Husband wants hours of ego stroking. Wife spent hours doing a necessary chore for the entire family. Yet, even if she found her chore pleasant, how is it okay at all to neglect your infant in order to take his "me time"?! He could wait until she was home and tell her he's going to spend time with his fans and then shut the door and lock it. Personally, all the driving and shopping is stressful for me. It's just 10 times worse when you have to also care for an infant while calculating costs, checking labels, etc.
Sean Williams 2 years ago
Well seeing how you weren't there, she wasn't there, and no one knows when the kid woke up exactly. Have a really hard time calling neglect. But that what happens when people lead with emotions instead of fact
Becca Hauck 2 years ago
Yeah, having 4 kids gives me no idea what-so-ever about how often infants nap, need to be fed, and need diaper changes./s Also understanding the nature of getting sucked into the net... Dude had no clue what was going on with his baby for hours. Further proof is that he was sure that his fans would abandon him after hearing that he was in charge of a baby during the time he was with them. If it was innocent, his fans would know that he took quick breaks etc and he'd have no cause to worry about it. But then, I don't have a vested interest in convincing the public that I, and others of my gender, can abandon a baby for 4 hours and call it good. There's so many things that can happen in 4 hours. I cannot imagine watching my infant nephew and my sister returning 4 hours later asking me how her baby is...me not knowing.
the versifier 2 years ago
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You don't need to go to 3 stores. The point is that she was clearly taking her time and then overreacting
Mindy Haun 2 years ago
Hell no. She wasn't. He didn't take care of their child, didn't feed or change her while he was streaming. She didn't overreact at all. You one of his buddies or something? Doesn't matter how long she was gone.
Krixl Duke 2 years ago
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A man can do it in half the time. Guess that's why women get paid less
TCW Sam Vimes 2 years ago
Why is everyone going on about the 4 hours? Seeing how that A-hole of a father couldn't even care for his daughter for 4 hours you can bet he is like this all the time. So she does all the work, AND goes shopping and ends up as the accused? Wow.
Flare The Sexy Incubus 2 years ago
Duke...my TWO parents take hours to shop. They don't go anywhere else. And he was at home.. but wasn't actually watching his daughter...she had a soiled diaper and wasn't even fed. How are going to blame the woman going to buy food for her family, and defend the guy who was SPECIFICALLY asked to watch his own child, instead decides streaming a game was FAR more important, even though FAR more popular streamers can at LEAST take p**s breaks. You're disgusting for defending that man.
Load More Replies... Emma Q. 2 years ago
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That is a very long time to grocery shop. There's no way she didn't do something to enjoy herself or at least enjoy the peace and quiet. She could have taken the baby with her. However, I side with her anyway. Mental health is important but she was trying to fit in sometime for him to stream but he refused to compromise. The health of the child comes first and he couldn't hold off until his wife came home?
BluEyedSeoulite 2 years ago
I initially downvoted you for the "She could have taken the baby with" but switched because you made a valid point. Yes, she could have taken the baby herself but each baby is different. My kids would wake up as soon as I took them out of the car (even with a travel system) so shopping with a cranky baby is extremely stressful. My kids also hated being in their carseats so it was a meltdown at every traffic light, only coming to a stop right before I hit another red light. Omg, it was terrible. I know others have babies that sleep throgh everything, pass out quickly in the car. Totally different experiences. If her kid is like mine, I would like to leave baby home with a RESPONSIBLE caregiver. Unfortunately, it seems like her husband doesn't prioritize his child so 99% of child rearing is now going to be squarely on her shoulders
Krixl Duke 2 years ago (edited)
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The kid was left by the mother. The dad stayed home and watched the kid. The mom left for 4hrs to do something that takes 1hr for all men on this planet. Only women think 4 hrs shopping is ok. That's 4hrs 20hrs 80 bucks of time
BluEyedSeoulite 2 years ago
Odd how men think it just takes an hour to shop but the majority of shopping is handled by women. My husband literally video calls me while in the grocery store because he has no idea where things are or what things mean on my list (corn tortilla, Mexican shredded cheese, full milk). While he may get in and out quickly without a list, he doesn't get most of what we need, he shops for himself only. Big difference when you are shopping for yourself or for multiple people/household.
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