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Woman Exposes ‘Instagram Perfect’ Mom After She Pays No Attention To Her Child At A Pool, Shows You Shouldn’t Believe Social Media
Deep down, we know that what we see on our social media feeds rarely reflects reality – we are only seeing the best, most interesting, funniest and most beautiful aspects of other people’s lives. Yet we are human, and the weight of comparison, constantly reinforced every time we open Instagram or Facebook, can become unbearably heavy over time if we somehow lose sight of this critical self-awareness.
An occasional reality check is therefore very welcome! Especially for young moms who might be feeling the pressure to balance their busy, often stressful lives whilst still finding the energy to ‘keep up with the Joneses’ and present an eternally happy image of themselves out to the world.
Enter Jen Flint, a Creator, Artist and Mother-of-six from Utah. Her short story about a very modern encounter at the local swimming pool resonated with hundreds of thousands of people, by highlighting the sad contrast between what people want others to see and the actual reality behind the pics.
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Speaking to Bored Panda, Jen wanted to ensure that the intent of her post was not to shame the young momma at the pool. “I’m sure she had reasons for her behavior, those reasons weren’t the intent of my post though,” she told us. “No judgment on her at all.”
“The main intention of my post was to help mothers (but really it applies to fathers and teens as well) to realize that what they see on social media isn’t always real and when they scroll through perfectly staged photos of women who are better fit, on exotic vacations, wearing expensive clothes and living in spotless homes, that they need to remember not to compare themselves to what they see.”
The reaction to Jen’s post has been overwhelmingly positive, being shared over 140k times on Facebook and starting plenty of conversations about mental health, self-esteem and positive thinking. People have contacted Jen with their own stories and experiences, and we all got that little reality check we need from time to time.
“We are enough, just how we are,” Jen says. “Remember that YOU at home with your kids or YOU at work supporting your family or YOU with the spotless house or YOU with the small apartment or YOU with an extra 30 lbs of weight that’s you’d rather not have, YOU are enough. Don’t compare yourself or your situation to anyone else’s.”
“Comparison is the thief of joy, y’all!”
Here’s what people had to say about the eye-opening story
What do you think ?
Random Panda 5 years ago (edited)
I'm getting a little tired of these anecdotes being shared by some random person, with no pictures for proof or whatever. If you didn't confront the person then and there why should anyone care what you have to say about it? Why are people getting mad at a story that for all we know could be completely made up for some likes?
Al Jones 5 years ago
She didn't want to shame but she wrote a highly detailed account of her being a bad mom... I find that very difficult to believe, I'm afraid. Why couldn't she use an example of herself rather than shaming somebody else? Or perhaps she's saying she's a perfect mother.
What's In Your Head? 5 years ago
All I can say is that we are living in a very toxic era (and this can be applied to both sides of the story).
Monilip 5 years ago
How about don't judge the mother at pool too? Maybe she was making important calls for work? Maybe she spend last few days playing with her dauther and went to pool to have a little break? Author of this post is judging her because she saw one tiny fragment of her life. She's doing exactly the same things ans instagram lookers.
KatKaleen 5 years ago
People will always judge, it's hard-wired into our brains. The real question is what you're comfortable with being judged for, a dirty shirt and messy house or dragging your kid to the pool to take photos and then ignoring them when they ask you to play with them. That's a personal choice to make, but nobody should delude him-/herself into thinking people won't judge. Even those paying a lot of lip-service to being "non-judgemental" will form an opinion, whether consciously or subconsciously.
Load More Replies...
Kenny Kulbiski 5 years ago
I like the part where she says " no judgement on her" and then goes on this long self righteous rant.
Claudia Machado 5 years ago
Why shame this mother? The OP doesn't know anything about her life. Maybe she got a call telling her to go quickly to the hospital, who knows? The fact is this person spent a lot of time judging someone else. Go get a life, go swimming since you are there.
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
And there's another one of those stories where someone feels the urge to rant about someone else's behaviour. FFS. If you're so bothered by it, call the woman out on her idiocy on the spot. Writing an "inspirational" story on social media isn't going to change anything for the child that's bullied by her crazy Instamom.
MonsterMash 5 years ago
My favorite thing about being a mom is that, no matter what you do or don’t, another woman/mom is watching and waiting in the wings to tear you down🙄 This is so goddamn sanctimonious. She has no idea what this mom did for the rest of the day. Being a stay at home mom doesn’t make you awesome and neither does being a working mom, social media mom, whatever. We’re all moms, making mistakes but doing our best.
Mark Smallman 5 years ago
Sure I read something almost exactly the same as this a while ago. I think these same stories circulate around.
Marie Stanford 5 years ago
“No judgment on her at all”?? Then why are you sharing the story? Of course the poster is judgmental, or she wouldn't have bothered to include all the little details and made comparisons to other mothers.
Hendra Lim 5 years ago
so many people got mad at these story where no names/photos got shared, they don't get the real point are they?
deanna woods 5 years ago
When I first started reading this article I was in agreement with the OP. However, after reading some of these comments I realize that while this is saying she wasn't judging the other mom, that's exactly what she is doing. She didn't know this woman's story and shouldn't have made a judgment on the little bit she saw.
Whatever... 5 years ago (edited)
I am so friggin tired of this shaming and doxxing atmosphere! It reminds me of a movie 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers', where the 'pod people ' would point to real people and shriek. Like another BP article 'Employee Shares A Meme And Gets Fired Over It, So He Shares The Text Exchange With The Boss'. No proof the boss was an a*****e (although his son was). No proof the employee was not an a*****e (except that he was on probation). Nothing showing maybe it was the last straw of many issues. So, BP readers (and others) left bad reviews for that company. What if it's you under the microscope next time? At this point, it's more likely to happen than not.
Safy 5 years ago
So many people fall prey to feeling inadequate and comparing themselves online. But the only thing this post should really be about is grounding ourselves in the reality that what people post online 9/10 is what they want to share. However, someone feeling inadequate from someone's online post is something that they need to work through. It isn't someone else's fault, or someone else's blame. That is very flawed thinking... which is sort of the basis for the entire story lol
Loki’s Lil Butter Knife 5 years ago
Hey BoredPanda, you were really doing well with your articles the past several days. It was really refreshing to see posts featuring actual artwork and not all this stupid and negative dribble about vapid Instagram models. These “stories” (cough, cough) do nothing but foster drama and offer no real means for debate or commenting. A lot of us are here for actual artwork and fascinating articles about travel, food, animals, current events, etc. Stop giving these renters a platform. If I want to read trashy stuff like this I could just open a Gossip magazine.
ChickyChicky 5 years ago
Maybe she spent all that time on the phone because she was talking to someone about a situation that came up and they had to leave. Ugh, enough with the judging.
Valerie Lessard 5 years ago
oh god, cry me a river, another sanctimonious diatribe from a nobody. People are fake on social media? really? couldn't have guessed...next
TheExtremeSmell 5 years ago
I know my parents wouldn’t do stuff with me to teach me to play with myself. I eventually looked forward to coming home from school being ignored but just running to my room so I could play with myself all night
Roger Haywood 5 years ago
Yeah. Crime of the century! Taking selfies with your kid is worth shaming. People are so judgemental.
Helen Haley 5 years ago
You have no idea what is going on in their life, what portion of the day that was, why those pictures were being taken, you have no idea what is going on. You saw a few minutes of this woman's day and decided to publicly mom shame her. I judge you more than this mom.
Uwe Theiss 5 years ago
There is no name and no picture. Only a story. Where is the shaming?
Load More Replies...
Sancho Cruz 5 years ago
Some women work so hard for their kids and may look like a photo shoot but face it maybe that was her only time to get a pic of joy for her lovely kid I travel with mine sometimes we may have 30 mins to swim or sight see damn right I'm going to pose and snap the hell out some pics because we have work kid activities and we want something to remember it mom had took us out before her job conference out of town but managed to take us out and we took pics or other reasons dont hate on that women people are different not just trying to get likes, so stop maybe someday those insta-pics will be priceless for those kids so what if you dont approve her life you dont that woman
Dorothy Parker 5 years ago
Sanctimonious balderdash. Post it on your own Facebook page, please.
Sheanna Caban 5 years ago
I'm gonna call b******t, here. And, by the way, "ADVERSARY?!?" Seriously? One mother is NOT another mother's adversary unless there's some sort of cage match I don't know about. These types of "puff pieces" area load of judgmental BS storytelling that never happened, but only serves as a template for us to toot our own horns about what great mommies we are while simultaneously judging others. "I'm that mom that's disheveled and my house is a mess and I feel terrible when I see these pictures on social media, but then this 'article' came around and validated me in a way that I couldn't do for myself." Okay, Brenda, proof or it didn't happen. But thanks for the condescending commentary trying to pit me against another woman in a contest of who's better today. Begone!
Starbelly Eleven 5 years ago
It was great until she brought God into it. God has nothing to do with this situation. Also, can we stop judging other women for doing things differently? You have NO IDEA what is going on in someone else's life, stop pitting women against women, it's disgusting and craven. F**k outta here.
jip 879 5 years ago
We are all addicted to internet, smartphones and social media. I hope one day it will change.
Uwe Theiss 5 years ago
At one point we were addicted to books and newspapers. Just wait for the next thing that will replace the corrent items.
Load More Replies...
Marnie 5 years ago
When I was in my 20s, I thought, things are so much better for women, but we still have the unreasonable stereotypes and expectations in the various tyeps of media. But next generation, it will be even better. Next generation: Far, far worse. And one of the saddest things is there the Instagram stuff is women doing it to women.
cybermerlin2000 5 years ago
I can't go into a pool because of the dangerous delicate nature of my heart but my daughter and I have an agreement. When I get a heart transplant and I'm ready to do so, regardless of our ages, we are going to have some proper daddy-daughter play time in a pool. In the mean time we hug each other a lot, watch movies together and have a laugh but I am looking forward to swimming with my daughter
Unwelcomed Guest 5 years ago
I was going to call BS on this one then I remembered my wife doing something similar
Nunya 5 years ago
I gave up on "social media" a long time ago. I noticed that my friends, family, and everyone else ALWAYS put up the things they wanted others to see and never the things they did not want others to see. For example, they posted about their triumphs at promotion, new car, new baby, etc. But, never their failures, foibles, missteps, and screwups. It has LONG been the reality that folks will display the best parts of themselves and hide the bad. So when "influencers" and "bloggers" became a thing, it made perfect sense that such folks would do the same kind of fakery. And so, I do not really pay much attention to such things. I give them credit because their heart was in the right place. And, frankly, that's all that matters to me. When we try to show respect and compassion for each other, life is good. When we are critical and judgmental of each other, life can really suck.
Seabeast 5 years ago
Every pool I've ever swum at has had signs posted for parents telling them to keep their children at arm's length at all times in the water. For me the most worrying bit is the part about the child swimming around on her own while her mother talked on the phone with a friend. I don't care how many swim lessons your kid has had, you don't let them be in the pool on their own until they can swim at least one full length unassisted.
William Teach 5 years ago
A lot of times when I see these types of stories I think "fake!" But this just smacks of the reality of narcissism for social media in this age. Because I've seen similar. I broke my thumb last Thursday at the gym (back of bench fell on it), so I can't do upper body stuff. Anyhow, as I'm just walking on the treadmill I watched this guy doing taking more photos of himself surrounded by heavy weights he wasn't actually lifting. I'd love to be able to lift right now.
Ottmar Straub 5 years ago
Most mamas have hardly access to essence and are extremely damaging to children's souls. It would be too much for society to get revealed how deep the abuse of women towards children really is. We only look the other way round. As a father who got blamed to be pedo in rose-war I know well how deeply rotten the mind of too many women in terms of motherhood is - we do not have many real mothers around - sorry to say that.
Marcellus the Third 5 years ago
In many public swimming pools cameras arent allowed (for obvious reasons); I suppose those people avoid these pools!
Diana Cartwright 5 years ago
stop hating the messenger, people... who wouldn't have been infuriated after witnessing that? I'm not a "media" person, but those who are will naturally expose it on social media. Do you feel it would have been nicer to not say anything? That's just silly. And yes, those 10 minutes spoke loudly about the type of mum that woman is. Also, I want to believe that, had this been a life-threatening or illegal situation, this person would have turned to the police instead of her blog or whatever.
Zania Erso 5 years ago
I have mixed feelings about this...Carey Reist Emm was absolutely right, but yet this post was also right.
Jeff Requier 5 years ago
The actual problem here is the mother letting her TODDLER play in the water out of reach and alone while she yaps on the phone.
Liz Karsa 5 years ago
I was at this event recently where this group of woman were all just starring at their phones while I was watching them....then they stopped , all gathered around with their glasses raised and took a few selfies together...then went back to starring at their phones for the next few hours. The next day all their IG posts were of that one photo and captions like "GETTING OUR PARTY ON!" and "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE HOTNESS". It was too funny.
Kirah Bettis 5 years ago
I hate how everyone is getting on here posting negative things if you don’t believe the story stop wasting your time getting on here and talking bad about her, Do you guys not have anything better to do then talking bad about other people because you are not perfect either
Monilip 5 years ago
You don't know that. You one one small fragment of they life and you judge them like you know whole story.
Load More Replies...
Random Panda 5 years ago (edited)
I'm getting a little tired of these anecdotes being shared by some random person, with no pictures for proof or whatever. If you didn't confront the person then and there why should anyone care what you have to say about it? Why are people getting mad at a story that for all we know could be completely made up for some likes?
Al Jones 5 years ago
She didn't want to shame but she wrote a highly detailed account of her being a bad mom... I find that very difficult to believe, I'm afraid. Why couldn't she use an example of herself rather than shaming somebody else? Or perhaps she's saying she's a perfect mother.
What's In Your Head? 5 years ago
All I can say is that we are living in a very toxic era (and this can be applied to both sides of the story).
Monilip 5 years ago
How about don't judge the mother at pool too? Maybe she was making important calls for work? Maybe she spend last few days playing with her dauther and went to pool to have a little break? Author of this post is judging her because she saw one tiny fragment of her life. She's doing exactly the same things ans instagram lookers.
KatKaleen 5 years ago
People will always judge, it's hard-wired into our brains. The real question is what you're comfortable with being judged for, a dirty shirt and messy house or dragging your kid to the pool to take photos and then ignoring them when they ask you to play with them. That's a personal choice to make, but nobody should delude him-/herself into thinking people won't judge. Even those paying a lot of lip-service to being "non-judgemental" will form an opinion, whether consciously or subconsciously.
Load More Replies... Kenny Kulbiski 5 years ago
I like the part where she says " no judgement on her" and then goes on this long self righteous rant.
Claudia Machado 5 years ago
Why shame this mother? The OP doesn't know anything about her life. Maybe she got a call telling her to go quickly to the hospital, who knows? The fact is this person spent a lot of time judging someone else. Go get a life, go swimming since you are there.
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
And there's another one of those stories where someone feels the urge to rant about someone else's behaviour. FFS. If you're so bothered by it, call the woman out on her idiocy on the spot. Writing an "inspirational" story on social media isn't going to change anything for the child that's bullied by her crazy Instamom.
MonsterMash 5 years ago
My favorite thing about being a mom is that, no matter what you do or don’t, another woman/mom is watching and waiting in the wings to tear you down🙄 This is so goddamn sanctimonious. She has no idea what this mom did for the rest of the day. Being a stay at home mom doesn’t make you awesome and neither does being a working mom, social media mom, whatever. We’re all moms, making mistakes but doing our best.
Mark Smallman 5 years ago
Sure I read something almost exactly the same as this a while ago. I think these same stories circulate around.
Marie Stanford 5 years ago
“No judgment on her at all”?? Then why are you sharing the story? Of course the poster is judgmental, or she wouldn't have bothered to include all the little details and made comparisons to other mothers.
Hendra Lim 5 years ago
so many people got mad at these story where no names/photos got shared, they don't get the real point are they?
deanna woods 5 years ago
When I first started reading this article I was in agreement with the OP. However, after reading some of these comments I realize that while this is saying she wasn't judging the other mom, that's exactly what she is doing. She didn't know this woman's story and shouldn't have made a judgment on the little bit she saw.
Whatever... 5 years ago (edited)
I am so friggin tired of this shaming and doxxing atmosphere! It reminds me of a movie 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers', where the 'pod people ' would point to real people and shriek. Like another BP article 'Employee Shares A Meme And Gets Fired Over It, So He Shares The Text Exchange With The Boss'. No proof the boss was an a*****e (although his son was). No proof the employee was not an a*****e (except that he was on probation). Nothing showing maybe it was the last straw of many issues. So, BP readers (and others) left bad reviews for that company. What if it's you under the microscope next time? At this point, it's more likely to happen than not.
Safy 5 years ago
So many people fall prey to feeling inadequate and comparing themselves online. But the only thing this post should really be about is grounding ourselves in the reality that what people post online 9/10 is what they want to share. However, someone feeling inadequate from someone's online post is something that they need to work through. It isn't someone else's fault, or someone else's blame. That is very flawed thinking... which is sort of the basis for the entire story lol
Loki’s Lil Butter Knife 5 years ago
Hey BoredPanda, you were really doing well with your articles the past several days. It was really refreshing to see posts featuring actual artwork and not all this stupid and negative dribble about vapid Instagram models. These “stories” (cough, cough) do nothing but foster drama and offer no real means for debate or commenting. A lot of us are here for actual artwork and fascinating articles about travel, food, animals, current events, etc. Stop giving these renters a platform. If I want to read trashy stuff like this I could just open a Gossip magazine.
ChickyChicky 5 years ago
Maybe she spent all that time on the phone because she was talking to someone about a situation that came up and they had to leave. Ugh, enough with the judging.
Valerie Lessard 5 years ago
oh god, cry me a river, another sanctimonious diatribe from a nobody. People are fake on social media? really? couldn't have guessed...next
TheExtremeSmell 5 years ago
I know my parents wouldn’t do stuff with me to teach me to play with myself. I eventually looked forward to coming home from school being ignored but just running to my room so I could play with myself all night
Roger Haywood 5 years ago
Yeah. Crime of the century! Taking selfies with your kid is worth shaming. People are so judgemental.
Helen Haley 5 years ago
You have no idea what is going on in their life, what portion of the day that was, why those pictures were being taken, you have no idea what is going on. You saw a few minutes of this woman's day and decided to publicly mom shame her. I judge you more than this mom.
Uwe Theiss 5 years ago
There is no name and no picture. Only a story. Where is the shaming?
Load More Replies... Sancho Cruz 5 years ago
Some women work so hard for their kids and may look like a photo shoot but face it maybe that was her only time to get a pic of joy for her lovely kid I travel with mine sometimes we may have 30 mins to swim or sight see damn right I'm going to pose and snap the hell out some pics because we have work kid activities and we want something to remember it mom had took us out before her job conference out of town but managed to take us out and we took pics or other reasons dont hate on that women people are different not just trying to get likes, so stop maybe someday those insta-pics will be priceless for those kids so what if you dont approve her life you dont that woman
Dorothy Parker 5 years ago
Sanctimonious balderdash. Post it on your own Facebook page, please.
Sheanna Caban 5 years ago
I'm gonna call b******t, here. And, by the way, "ADVERSARY?!?" Seriously? One mother is NOT another mother's adversary unless there's some sort of cage match I don't know about. These types of "puff pieces" area load of judgmental BS storytelling that never happened, but only serves as a template for us to toot our own horns about what great mommies we are while simultaneously judging others. "I'm that mom that's disheveled and my house is a mess and I feel terrible when I see these pictures on social media, but then this 'article' came around and validated me in a way that I couldn't do for myself." Okay, Brenda, proof or it didn't happen. But thanks for the condescending commentary trying to pit me against another woman in a contest of who's better today. Begone!
Starbelly Eleven 5 years ago
It was great until she brought God into it. God has nothing to do with this situation. Also, can we stop judging other women for doing things differently? You have NO IDEA what is going on in someone else's life, stop pitting women against women, it's disgusting and craven. F**k outta here.
jip 879 5 years ago
We are all addicted to internet, smartphones and social media. I hope one day it will change.
Uwe Theiss 5 years ago
At one point we were addicted to books and newspapers. Just wait for the next thing that will replace the corrent items.
Load More Replies... Marnie 5 years ago
When I was in my 20s, I thought, things are so much better for women, but we still have the unreasonable stereotypes and expectations in the various tyeps of media. But next generation, it will be even better. Next generation: Far, far worse. And one of the saddest things is there the Instagram stuff is women doing it to women.
cybermerlin2000 5 years ago
I can't go into a pool because of the dangerous delicate nature of my heart but my daughter and I have an agreement. When I get a heart transplant and I'm ready to do so, regardless of our ages, we are going to have some proper daddy-daughter play time in a pool. In the mean time we hug each other a lot, watch movies together and have a laugh but I am looking forward to swimming with my daughter
Unwelcomed Guest 5 years ago
I was going to call BS on this one then I remembered my wife doing something similar
Nunya 5 years ago
I gave up on "social media" a long time ago. I noticed that my friends, family, and everyone else ALWAYS put up the things they wanted others to see and never the things they did not want others to see. For example, they posted about their triumphs at promotion, new car, new baby, etc. But, never their failures, foibles, missteps, and screwups. It has LONG been the reality that folks will display the best parts of themselves and hide the bad. So when "influencers" and "bloggers" became a thing, it made perfect sense that such folks would do the same kind of fakery. And so, I do not really pay much attention to such things. I give them credit because their heart was in the right place. And, frankly, that's all that matters to me. When we try to show respect and compassion for each other, life is good. When we are critical and judgmental of each other, life can really suck.
Seabeast 5 years ago
Every pool I've ever swum at has had signs posted for parents telling them to keep their children at arm's length at all times in the water. For me the most worrying bit is the part about the child swimming around on her own while her mother talked on the phone with a friend. I don't care how many swim lessons your kid has had, you don't let them be in the pool on their own until they can swim at least one full length unassisted.
William Teach 5 years ago
A lot of times when I see these types of stories I think "fake!" But this just smacks of the reality of narcissism for social media in this age. Because I've seen similar. I broke my thumb last Thursday at the gym (back of bench fell on it), so I can't do upper body stuff. Anyhow, as I'm just walking on the treadmill I watched this guy doing taking more photos of himself surrounded by heavy weights he wasn't actually lifting. I'd love to be able to lift right now.
Ottmar Straub 5 years ago
Most mamas have hardly access to essence and are extremely damaging to children's souls. It would be too much for society to get revealed how deep the abuse of women towards children really is. We only look the other way round. As a father who got blamed to be pedo in rose-war I know well how deeply rotten the mind of too many women in terms of motherhood is - we do not have many real mothers around - sorry to say that.
Marcellus the Third 5 years ago
In many public swimming pools cameras arent allowed (for obvious reasons); I suppose those people avoid these pools!
Diana Cartwright 5 years ago
stop hating the messenger, people... who wouldn't have been infuriated after witnessing that? I'm not a "media" person, but those who are will naturally expose it on social media. Do you feel it would have been nicer to not say anything? That's just silly. And yes, those 10 minutes spoke loudly about the type of mum that woman is. Also, I want to believe that, had this been a life-threatening or illegal situation, this person would have turned to the police instead of her blog or whatever.
Zania Erso 5 years ago
I have mixed feelings about this...Carey Reist Emm was absolutely right, but yet this post was also right.
Jeff Requier 5 years ago
The actual problem here is the mother letting her TODDLER play in the water out of reach and alone while she yaps on the phone.
Liz Karsa 5 years ago
I was at this event recently where this group of woman were all just starring at their phones while I was watching them....then they stopped , all gathered around with their glasses raised and took a few selfies together...then went back to starring at their phones for the next few hours. The next day all their IG posts were of that one photo and captions like "GETTING OUR PARTY ON!" and "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE HOTNESS". It was too funny.
Kirah Bettis 5 years ago
I hate how everyone is getting on here posting negative things if you don’t believe the story stop wasting your time getting on here and talking bad about her, Do you guys not have anything better to do then talking bad about other people because you are not perfect either
Monilip 5 years ago
You don't know that. You one one small fragment of they life and you judge them like you know whole story.
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