OK, I get it. You're a funny guy. A bubbly personality. A born entertainer who is going to conquer the country with his standup program. But for the love of life, you're my Uber driver and I don't want to hear any more of your knock-knock jokes. Especially if my date is with me in the back seat and your stupid two-liners are funnier than everything I told her this evening. Some of us just can't seem to understand when we're socially inclined to keep it professional! So to remind everyone to stay on their best behavior, Bored Panda has compiled a list of dentists, professors, and others who didn't. Too-da-loo!
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The email my sister got from a landscaping company job she applied for vs. The one she sent back
We cross each other's lines all the time. And not just online. According to Chester McNaughton, a registered professional counselor who specializes in boundaries, anger management, and dysfunctional relationships in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, boundary violations typically fall into three categories: aggressive, passive-aggressive, or accidental.
Aggressive violations, for example, include shoving and hitting; damaging property; exerting control over someone’s time or money; making threats; taunting and hurling insults.
Passive-aggressive violations include interrupting; gossiping; giving the silent treatment, and assuming you know what someone thinks, needs, or wants.
For instance, we might tell someone: "you don't really believe that, you're too sensitive, why are you making such a big deal?" Susan Orenstein, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist, and relationship expert, explained.
Accidental violations (like the "meatballs" DM that IKEA sent to a random Twitter user) include bumping into someone or stating an opinion respectfully, but finding out that the other person finds it offensive, McNaughton said.
There are many reasons why we don’t respect someone else’s boundaries. For example, we might’ve been raised with different expectations. Even physical touch is something that different families treat in different ways. Some of us like to hug and kiss when we say hello while others believe that shaking hands is perfectly sufficient. Same thing with words!
But if you want to avoid acting like the 'heroes' of this list, here are several suggestions for respecting other people’s boundaries:
- Focus on respect. McNaughton stressed the importance of seeing others as “simply human.” Remember that everyone has thoughts, feelings, plans, dreams, and hopes, he said. Remember that everyone wants to be heard and accepted as they are, he said.
- Listen fully. Listen to another person with the goal of truly understanding them, Orenstein said. “[L]isten to care about them,” McNaughton said. Don’t interrupt, “resist what’s being said or think of what you’re going to say next,” Orenstein said. She also suggested practicing the silent pause: “Completely wait until the other person is finished speaking, take a breath, pause and then respond … You’ll be making space for the other person to express him or herself and get out of the habit of reactivity.”
- Listen for verbal cues. Some verbal cues may be obvious, such as another person saying “I’m uncomfortable sitting so close to you,” or “I’ve asked you before to knock before you come in my house,” Julie de Azevedo Hanks, LCSW, founder and executive director of Wasatch Family Therapy, said. Others may be subtle, such as “changing the subject in the midst of a conversation to something less emotionally vulnerable.”
- Pay attention to body language. “[B]ody language often speaks louder than words,” Hanks added. She shared these examples: If someone has their arms folded while they’re talking to you, they might not be open to what you’re saying. If someone is stepping back every few minutes, you might be standing too close and invading their personal space.
The key is mindfulness. We're often simply unaware of what we’re doing and how our actions impact others.
Seems like he really doesn't see the problem. Well he's learning it the hard way
This is just too creepy. Something needs to be done that encrypts customer phone numbers or something because this is really NOT COOL to be doing to people (usually women).
My friend asked me if this message from her 53yr old landlord was creepy
They wouldn't do anything. It's hard to get them to take an interest in actual rapes and sexual assaults, do you think they'll do anything about a creepy text?
Load More Replies...YES your landlord is creepy. If he works for a corporation report him. My 80 year old landlord told me not to lose any more wright cause it was making my tits too small. It is offensive and creepy at any age
What creeps me out the most is that landlords have keys to all their apartments? (not sure this is valid, this, as far as I know, doesn't happen where I live - Athens, Greece).
It actually is where I live! Creepy as hell, but normal here since they own the apartment technically.
Load More Replies...ummmm. NO. NOT ok. I'd be changing the locks if I were them, police call, and if able, MOVING TF OUT
It depends what the picture he took a picture of was - if it was a 'looking pretty' picture it's extremely creepy - if it was a funny picture, much less so.
Load More Replies...Photos can be nice and maybe he was a fan of great potography, but this is not something you just do and tgen say it like "oh, by the vway"
It makes it more creepy assuming op and her friend are younger
Load More Replies...I wonder if it's one of those suspended ones, like just underneath the cupboards. They need brackets and stuff.
Load More Replies...I don't see anything inappropriate about this. Mistake was made, company apologized, life can move on.
Because Julie works for Alaska Air, not the TSA at JFK. Not much mystery there.
Why wouldn't you tell your driver where you're going? Sure, his response was catty, but so was hers.
That's the question answered and it must be reassuring to know that a possible stalker knows your phone number.
It's a strange combiantion of actually inappropriate texts, honest mistakes and pretty innocent jokes.
Some of these are beyond creepy and inappropriate... But about half are comments I wouldn't even think to screenshot. I just hate how people get bashed or made fun of for simply having a personality. It's a social crime to strike up conversation (appropriate Convo!) or just be silly... Sad
I think my favorite was Professor Wilson's, erm, problems. Lol
These were entertaining, with a hint of schadenfreude thrown in. Some amusement to be had at the discomfort of others. Sorry
DoorDasher. I'm on crutches so I need orders to be placed in a bag with handles so that I can hook them over my wrist and crutch-it through the house. I very clearly state so in the delivery instructions. I also opt for "no contact" delivery. Driver shows up holding 3 boxes, no bag, rings bell, to hand them to me in person...
how are these drivers not coached on do not try and interact with any passengers outside of the ride or delivery ? this is horrible and by playing it up as just funny or rude but just block the call is not good either, it should always be reportable, the company that said they do not have a complaints department is even worse, this lets dangerous people have a without consequences playing field.
I am amazed by how many drivers are harassing women. Seems like there should be an anonymous system where they can't get your name or number when they are delivering, and a button that if they send you something inappropriate, you can automatically report it, and those drivers know they will be fired immediately.
An anonymous system that instantly fires people? Wow, no.
Load More Replies...It's a strange combiantion of actually inappropriate texts, honest mistakes and pretty innocent jokes.
Some of these are beyond creepy and inappropriate... But about half are comments I wouldn't even think to screenshot. I just hate how people get bashed or made fun of for simply having a personality. It's a social crime to strike up conversation (appropriate Convo!) or just be silly... Sad
I think my favorite was Professor Wilson's, erm, problems. Lol
These were entertaining, with a hint of schadenfreude thrown in. Some amusement to be had at the discomfort of others. Sorry
DoorDasher. I'm on crutches so I need orders to be placed in a bag with handles so that I can hook them over my wrist and crutch-it through the house. I very clearly state so in the delivery instructions. I also opt for "no contact" delivery. Driver shows up holding 3 boxes, no bag, rings bell, to hand them to me in person...
how are these drivers not coached on do not try and interact with any passengers outside of the ride or delivery ? this is horrible and by playing it up as just funny or rude but just block the call is not good either, it should always be reportable, the company that said they do not have a complaints department is even worse, this lets dangerous people have a without consequences playing field.
I am amazed by how many drivers are harassing women. Seems like there should be an anonymous system where they can't get your name or number when they are delivering, and a button that if they send you something inappropriate, you can automatically report it, and those drivers know they will be fired immediately.
An anonymous system that instantly fires people? Wow, no.
Load More Replies...