Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

30 Years Of Friendship Starts To Crumble After Man Tells Off A Friend Who “Couldn’t Wait”
30 Years Of Friendship Starts To Crumble After Man Tells Off A Friend Who “Couldn’t Wait”
User submission
646

30 Years Of Friendship Starts To Crumble After Man Tells Off A Friend Who “Couldn’t Wait”

142

ADVERTISEMENT

It is said that in childhood, people’s emotions often are somewhat more intense, which might help to explain one of the reasons behind strong emotional connection with friends from childhood. It all takes place at the age when people tend to be open and reckless when experiencing the magic of finding a like-minded soul somewhere out there, maybe for the first time ever. It is often not until much later that we get to learn the other side of closeness, the one that might be hurtful and require a lot of effort to solve problems and move the friendship that started so spontaneously forward. A challenge of this sort was the one that this Redditor had to face when his friend of 30 years overused emergency mode big time!

More info: Reddit

RELATED:

    A man’s friendship of 30 years started to crumble as he found no way around telling his intrusive friend off

    Image credits: Yan Krukau (not the actual photo)

    The man has always been there for her, but his friend only had one mode, which is emergency

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: D0NotDisturbMe

    Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: D0NotDisturbMe

    Image credits: Aaron (not the actual photo)

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: D0NotDisturbMe

    The man was in the middle of a timed assessment for work on his phone, when his friend called

    Image credits: Garry Knight (not the actual photo)

    The man declined three calls,but the woman wouldn’t stop, so he texted her ‘get lost!!!’ in a bad way

    A man brought it to Reddit when his friendship of 30 years began to crumble after his friend’s intrusive non-stop calling made him finally snap.

    Despite always being there for his friend, the man was dealing with the problem of his friend always approaching with “emergency mode”, regardless of whether it was indeed a crisis or a simple problem.

    Similarly, this time, she wouldn’t consider she might be interrupting something important when she called him in the middle of a timed work assessment. She kept bombarding him with calls and messages despite him declining and putting her into voicemail.

    Eventually, as his friend wouldn’t stop, every time interrupting his test and making him lose a question, he finally wrote her to “f**k off!!!”, which was the first time either of them had said such words to one another.

    The woman ended up getting a written warning at work, as her car had broken down and she was calling to ask for a ride to work, while the man apologized for cursing, but his friend has stayed very cold ever since, and he felt bad for hurting her.

    The woman received a written warning at work, as her car broke down and she didn’t get a ride on time

    Image credits: Marc van der Chijs (not the actual photo)

    The man apologized for cursing, but she was very cold to him and he felt bad about hurting her

    Verywell Mind discussed maintaining childhood friends and brought up positive aspects and possible risks associated with keeping relationships with people whom we shared major life events with and who tend to know more about us than most other people.

    They described the “keepers” to be lifelong friends that took root in childhood and care about us even when we’re at our most vulnerable. They are often the ones who are honest and tell us what we need to hear, rather than what we want to hear, which comes down to very high levels of trust and care.

    However, the risks associated with childhood relationships, as listed by Verywell Mind, included the possibility of limiting one’s growth by making them stay too attached to certain labels or roles that friends might have both internalized and got used to over a long period of time. These, for example, might interfere with the confidence and high self-esteem necessary to move into a new field.

    Another possible downside brought up by Verywell Mind was loyalty that threatens one’s well-being, as sometimes holding tight to childhood friendships means making excuses for or overlooking a friend’s reckless or seriously negative behaviors.

    For this reason, when certain behaviors exhibited by a friend are damaging to one’s health and wellbeing, misplaced loyalty should be considered. These behaviors can include being verbally abusive, bullying, unreasonable demands, lack of respect, manipulation, and draining one mentally or emotionally. They suggest being empathetic, but knowing one’s limits as well.

    Redditors shared their takes on the situation

     

    272Kviews

    Share on Facebook
    Aura Vyšniauskaitė

    Aura Vyšniauskaitė

    Author, Community member

    Read more »

    Aura is a writer at Bored Panda. She finished her BA in Philosophy at Vilnius University. She lived in Prague for a few years, where she worked in Trade Compliance at DHL Express. Finally, she came back to Vilnius to continue her studies in Philosophy.

    Read less »
    Aura Vyšniauskaitė

    Aura Vyšniauskaitė

    Author, Community member

    Aura is a writer at Bored Panda. She finished her BA in Philosophy at Vilnius University. She lived in Prague for a few years, where she worked in Trade Compliance at DHL Express. Finally, she came back to Vilnius to continue her studies in Philosophy.

    Saulė Tolstych

    Saulė Tolstych

    Author, Community member

    Read more »

    Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature.

    Read less »

    Saulė Tolstych

    Saulė Tolstych

    Author, Community member

    Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature.

    What do you think ?
    tw 72
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My favorites: 1) Givers need to learn to set boundaries because takers don't have any. 2) The only people who will be upset with you for setting boundaries are those who benefited from you not having any.

    jdtimid123
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why didn't she use that time to call work to let them know there was an emergency and she would be a little late? I feel like most places I've worked at would be understanding and have never been written up because I called to let them know something legitimately outside my control has happened.

    Kofi Leeto
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    unless you are entitled and you already used that excuse this week for something else.....

    Load More Replies...
    -
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow. I'm surprised the friendship lasted that long. People like that are exhausting. I'm guessing she hasn't tried to make any other friends because he was always there for her. Earth to panic lady: Reciprocity is a thing.

    Ima Manimal
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a friend like that. Help- can you pay this speeding ticket so I don’t get my license revoked? Help- I need to borrow $30 for dog food. He went and got some pot.

    ThisIsMe
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have a friend just like that. When something feels urgent to her, it is urgent. She knows I work from home 3 days a week, and feel like she is free to call at any time on those days. I have told her that I do a lot of conference calls and am not just free on any weekday to answer the phone. So now she often texts or emails to ask if she can call, or when she can call. My point is that there are ways to create reasonable boundaries for yourself, and it works if both parties can respect it. That said "F off" is a little harsh for being irritated. But OP apologized, I'm assuming sincerely, but sounds like maybe OP needs to provide some explanation of the boundary. Not as an excuse justifying the response, but just a "here's what happened..."

    B-b-bird
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “ 24/7 butler” and “a friend” are completely different things

    Marilyn Russell
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She got a written warning because she has probably been late many times before. She’s a grown adult who’s been coddled by many for too long and needs to start to figure things out in her own. He was rude and should have replied this first time not just that he was busy but was working, then turned off the phone. But it sounds like he needs to move on from this “friendship” he has outgrown.

    Sonja
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He was using his phone to do the assessment. So he couldn't turn it off. I also doubt she'd stopped if he replied that he was working. I call back in 20 should have been enough to tell her to stop and he couldn't answer right now. But she kept calling. He had a timed assessment ON HIS PHONE and her calling blocked the screen.

    Load More Replies...
    Rostit .
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She is using OP. She is not his friend. I have known people like that and its exhausting. They have no respect for you or your boundaries.

    Jo Firth
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's never heard of cabs or Uber?

    Load More Comments
    tw 72
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My favorites: 1) Givers need to learn to set boundaries because takers don't have any. 2) The only people who will be upset with you for setting boundaries are those who benefited from you not having any.

    jdtimid123
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why didn't she use that time to call work to let them know there was an emergency and she would be a little late? I feel like most places I've worked at would be understanding and have never been written up because I called to let them know something legitimately outside my control has happened.

    Kofi Leeto
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    unless you are entitled and you already used that excuse this week for something else.....

    Load More Replies...
    -
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow. I'm surprised the friendship lasted that long. People like that are exhausting. I'm guessing she hasn't tried to make any other friends because he was always there for her. Earth to panic lady: Reciprocity is a thing.

    Ima Manimal
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a friend like that. Help- can you pay this speeding ticket so I don’t get my license revoked? Help- I need to borrow $30 for dog food. He went and got some pot.

    ThisIsMe
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have a friend just like that. When something feels urgent to her, it is urgent. She knows I work from home 3 days a week, and feel like she is free to call at any time on those days. I have told her that I do a lot of conference calls and am not just free on any weekday to answer the phone. So now she often texts or emails to ask if she can call, or when she can call. My point is that there are ways to create reasonable boundaries for yourself, and it works if both parties can respect it. That said "F off" is a little harsh for being irritated. But OP apologized, I'm assuming sincerely, but sounds like maybe OP needs to provide some explanation of the boundary. Not as an excuse justifying the response, but just a "here's what happened..."

    B-b-bird
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “ 24/7 butler” and “a friend” are completely different things

    Marilyn Russell
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She got a written warning because she has probably been late many times before. She’s a grown adult who’s been coddled by many for too long and needs to start to figure things out in her own. He was rude and should have replied this first time not just that he was busy but was working, then turned off the phone. But it sounds like he needs to move on from this “friendship” he has outgrown.

    Sonja
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He was using his phone to do the assessment. So he couldn't turn it off. I also doubt she'd stopped if he replied that he was working. I call back in 20 should have been enough to tell her to stop and he couldn't answer right now. But she kept calling. He had a timed assessment ON HIS PHONE and her calling blocked the screen.

    Load More Replies...
    Rostit .
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She is using OP. She is not his friend. I have known people like that and its exhausting. They have no respect for you or your boundaries.

    Jo Firth
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's never heard of cabs or Uber?

    Load More Comments
    You May Like
    Related on Bored Panda
    Popular on Bored Panda
    Trending on Bored Panda
    Also on Bored Panda
    ADVERTISEMENT