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Grief, anger, acceptance, art: my journey as an autism parent has been and continues to be full of winding turns and hills and valleys.
I love my son unconditionally, as the beautiful, hilarious, challenging, and charming person he is. I worry endlessly about his future, though, and there are days when it's hard for us to like each other (though the love never goes away).
To me, the greatest gift of his autism isn't his math wizardry or perfect pitch; it's the unique and poetic way he looks at the world. In my photography, I wanted to create a tribute to that perspective and the reality of our day-to-day life.
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#1
The Other You, The One Who Sees Me
In this reflection image, my son is looking right at me. That's something he never does. Somehow, the barrier of the glass wall let him see me. I often sometimes think wistfully about this version of him, the one behind the glass. I love him the way he is, but I'd give anything to embrace the boy behind the barrier.
Final score:
112points
Kate Miller-Wilson (Submission author) 7 years ago
I'm so glad it touched you. Thank you. :)
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pusheen buttercup 7 years ago
To the mother that took these beautiful pictures. I'm autistic myself, and I love photography... and when I look at these pictures. I see that your son loves you. :)
María B. Kaiser 7 years ago
Dear Kate, No needs for words when images tell a story like the one in your photos. The love you feel for your son can be seen in every one of the photos you shared. Thank you. <3
Ritsenki 7 years ago
The caption of this picture makes me sad. It is something autistic and so many other "special needs" children have to suffer all their life. The knowledge that their parents secretly (or not so secretly) wishes they were someone else and often would be all to happy if they vanished and were replaced by someone who was not "broken" in the way society values it. By claiming that you would "give anything" to embrace the boy behind the barrier", you are at the same time saying that he is not enough.
Kate Miller-Wilson (Submission author) 7 years ago
I certainly understand what you're saying, and I worry about that. However, as his mother, I crave the connection with him. I can't change that craving; it's part of my soul. I don't want to replace him; I want to hold him.
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Lisa Herrman 7 years ago
When my son was diagnosed I wept. He's 17 and says autistic people are the next step in human evolution.
eco okok 7 years ago
I'm impresed with all the photographys bu this one is just to powerfull in a inner sense, i don't know if there is a word for what make me feel, (even in my own language) so i can only amazing photos.
Deana Michelle 7 years ago
"Autism parent"????? You're a parent with a child with autism. That's it. Not autism parent.
DancingToMyself 7 years ago
Maybe you are, maybe you aren't. But it's bad to talk about yourself like that, it isn't healthy.
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#2
He Hears The Grasses Whisper
One of the core characteristics of autism is differences in sensory processing. The world can be overwhelming with so many sounds and sights and smells. But this can be a gift too; my son experiences the world in a way I never will.
Final score:
76points
#3
Winter Dream
I often feel like there is something separating my son and me. We can see and hear each other through this barrier, but we can't quite touch. Here, I photographed him through a sheet of ice to symbolize that experience.
Final score:
70points
#4
Focus
One of my son's great gifts is his ability to focus completely on something. A puzzle, a musical instrument, the way the light makes colors in the clouds... He can put all of himself into what he loves, and I try to do the same in my interactions with him.
Final score:
70points
Celental Midnight 7 years ago
Beautifull!!!! I am glad that you use pictures to show that autism isn't a scary weird thing but in fact a gift!!!! I should know because I am autistic.
#5
Head Under His Wing
Photographing someone with autism isn't always easy, but that's because a good portrait is about emotional connection. To connect with someone on the spectrum, it helps to enter his world. Here, he's pretending to be an owl, and owls are his current area of special interest.
Final score:
68points
Christiana Yu 7 years ago
Kate, you took great photos! they are perfectly beautiful. Best wishes to him and you!
#6
In There
Final score:
64points
#8
Sleepy Morning
Final score:
56points
#9
School Day Sunrise
Final score:
54points
#10
Winter Is Here
Final score:
52points
#11
Something Between Us
Final score:
37points
#12
Loving The Shadow You
Some days are very, very hard. On off days, I start the morning with my son yelling that he hates me. The truth is, sometimes I drop him off at school and try not to squeal my tires as I drive away. I feel like a failure as a mother on those days, but I also know that those are the days that prove my love for him.
Final score:
36points
Celental Midnight 7 years ago
It's hard for us autistic kids/teens. It feels like we hear only bits of what the world is telling us. There is a cloud that confuses us. The few bits that we understand in this world feels like out safety line. Have you ever thought of doing ABA services?? And you are not a failure as a mother. In fact you are one of the greatest moms with a autistic child.
#13
Distortion
Final score:
32points
#14
Rough Morning
Final score:
31points
57Academics 7 years ago
Kate, your work is incredible. Your love for your son no matter what is absolutely evident.
#15
Sidelong Pickerel Smile
Final score:
31points
#16
After School
Final score:
30points
#17
You And Me, Bugaboo
My son and I have a solid but very dramatic relationship. I make him really angry with my efforts to get him to school on time or have him eat something different for dinner. But I'm there for him, even when we're mad at each other. I think, I hope, he knows that.
Final score:
29points
#18
Tree Curl
Final score:
29points
#19
When Everything Goes Quiet....
Final score:
29points
Add New Image
What do you think ?
Maureen Szewczyk 7 years ago
Thank you for your ability and willingness to capture and share such an intimate portrait of your experiences and dedication to your beautiful son. Your art opens my eyes to the beauty you both see in this world and his fascination with even the simplest of things is a wonderful reminder to stop and enjoy the things in life we overlook and take for granted otherwise.
Isabel Arango 7 years ago
Amazing work, really. Touching, intimate, honest... I think besides your photos capture your son's approach to life it also shows your biggest love to him, your devotion, your commitment to your motherhood role. He's a lucky guy so are you. Keep going, breathe. Let you learn everyday from him, and please keep capturing this images.
Lucy Chacon 7 years ago
Kate your pictures moved me to tears, I have a son that has autistic spectrum, and could relate with each of your beautiful portraits, thank you!
Zoria Polunoczaja 7 years ago
Beautiful and thoughtful pictures. "Spectrum" is great not only as a portrait, but also as the wordplay; the one in which he looks directly at you through his reflection is truly amazing. Great job, great son and great mom!
sosunlight 7 years ago
Beautiful son. Beautiful mother. Beautiful photos. Thank you for sharing.
Kahlo Smith 7 years ago
These photos are stunning. They capture so much emotion, and you can feel the love in every one, even when they also show distance and anger.
Jazmyn B (Jaz) 7 years ago
These photos are amazing and it tells such a large story, I love it. Autism is such a big thing in the World a family like this is everything to those other children suffering the same disorder (not to mention this woman's photography skills are pretty epic!0
DadeStar Mysteries 1 month ago
What I think has been captured here is a kid who has a strong vision. There's greatness in him. I think he will discover new ways to solve problems for people. I have struggles with mild autism and questions I can't answer. I hope he finds his way. I don't know how long ago this was, but if he likes reading mysteries, check out my series. I don't know if you can click on my logo, otherwise it's at DadeStarMysteries.com
Lucina Sandoval-Gordon 7 years ago
My nephew has autism and before we knew he had autism it was so painful for our entire family. I would try to pick him up and play with him like I did with his sister and he seemed so far away. Thank you for sharing this. I'm so grateful my nephew was diagnosed and is now in a special school. Every new interaction he gives us is a gift. Recently he started saying hi to everyone and I felt over joyed. Although others may see that as being behind because he is 5 I am very proud of all his hard work.
Inurri 7 years ago
I just want to say I agree with all of comments. It's a wonderful photography, amazing boy and your dedication as a mother is so inspring. I wish you and your son all the best. I hope your photography can connect you even more. Thank you for sharing your art and life with us. :)
Grace Barclay 7 years ago
Thank you for sharing your photographs. I would like to tell you that I find your son's hands beautiful. Just very drawn to them.
Kate Miller-Wilson (Post author) 7 years ago
No, he's very, very verbal. :) Thank you!
Load More Replies...
Marie Lannan 7 years ago
Does he have a dog? You must read ZENA, THE WARRIOR DOG. Johnny is also autistic. Apparently he had many of the problems your son experiences. His mom introduced him to a shelter dog and they connected. On the way home, Zena sat on Johnny,s lap. Johnny weighted about 40 lbs and Zena weighted about 50 lbs. The marvelous thing is that Johnny who seldom talked to anyone, even his mom, sang to Zena all the way home. So began communication that included giving presentations about him and Zena at schools, heart warming.
Maureen Szewczyk 7 years ago
Thank you for your ability and willingness to capture and share such an intimate portrait of your experiences and dedication to your beautiful son. Your art opens my eyes to the beauty you both see in this world and his fascination with even the simplest of things is a wonderful reminder to stop and enjoy the things in life we overlook and take for granted otherwise.
Isabel Arango 7 years ago
Amazing work, really. Touching, intimate, honest... I think besides your photos capture your son's approach to life it also shows your biggest love to him, your devotion, your commitment to your motherhood role. He's a lucky guy so are you. Keep going, breathe. Let you learn everyday from him, and please keep capturing this images.
Lucy Chacon 7 years ago
Kate your pictures moved me to tears, I have a son that has autistic spectrum, and could relate with each of your beautiful portraits, thank you!
Zoria Polunoczaja 7 years ago
Beautiful and thoughtful pictures. "Spectrum" is great not only as a portrait, but also as the wordplay; the one in which he looks directly at you through his reflection is truly amazing. Great job, great son and great mom!
sosunlight 7 years ago
Beautiful son. Beautiful mother. Beautiful photos. Thank you for sharing.
Kahlo Smith 7 years ago
These photos are stunning. They capture so much emotion, and you can feel the love in every one, even when they also show distance and anger.
Jazmyn B (Jaz) 7 years ago
These photos are amazing and it tells such a large story, I love it. Autism is such a big thing in the World a family like this is everything to those other children suffering the same disorder (not to mention this woman's photography skills are pretty epic!0
DadeStar Mysteries 1 month ago
What I think has been captured here is a kid who has a strong vision. There's greatness in him. I think he will discover new ways to solve problems for people. I have struggles with mild autism and questions I can't answer. I hope he finds his way. I don't know how long ago this was, but if he likes reading mysteries, check out my series. I don't know if you can click on my logo, otherwise it's at DadeStarMysteries.com
Lucina Sandoval-Gordon 7 years ago
My nephew has autism and before we knew he had autism it was so painful for our entire family. I would try to pick him up and play with him like I did with his sister and he seemed so far away. Thank you for sharing this. I'm so grateful my nephew was diagnosed and is now in a special school. Every new interaction he gives us is a gift. Recently he started saying hi to everyone and I felt over joyed. Although others may see that as being behind because he is 5 I am very proud of all his hard work.
Inurri 7 years ago
I just want to say I agree with all of comments. It's a wonderful photography, amazing boy and your dedication as a mother is so inspring. I wish you and your son all the best. I hope your photography can connect you even more. Thank you for sharing your art and life with us. :)
Grace Barclay 7 years ago
Thank you for sharing your photographs. I would like to tell you that I find your son's hands beautiful. Just very drawn to them.
Kate Miller-Wilson (Post author) 7 years ago
No, he's very, very verbal. :) Thank you!
Load More Replies... Marie Lannan 7 years ago
Does he have a dog? You must read ZENA, THE WARRIOR DOG. Johnny is also autistic. Apparently he had many of the problems your son experiences. His mom introduced him to a shelter dog and they connected. On the way home, Zena sat on Johnny,s lap. Johnny weighted about 40 lbs and Zena weighted about 50 lbs. The marvelous thing is that Johnny who seldom talked to anyone, even his mom, sang to Zena all the way home. So began communication that included giving presentations about him and Zena at schools, heart warming.
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