Haha, butt.

Elephants express a wide variety of behaviors — including those associated with grief, learning, mimicry, play, altruism, use of tools, compassion, cooperation, self-awareness, memory, communication, and plagiarism of wikipedia pages.

An elephant never forgets, unless he does. This card is for the every other odd occasion when something awfully important slips your mind. Celebrate remembering, and maybe celebrate learning to write things down.

The average sleep-time of a rabbit in captivity is said to be 8.4 hours. Not like you could really tell by looking, though, because rabbits often sleep with their eyes open.

Why can blame them? When you're so excited to wake up next to your human it can be pretty hard to sleep. With this card, you can let them know about those quiet times when your love is the most awake.

Some people only believe a rabbit's foot to be lucky if it was killed by a cross-eyed man in a rainy cemetery during a full moon. And it can’t be just any foot, either, it has to be the left hind foot.

This multi-use card can be recycled as a "get-well" after your literal friend literally breaks a leg.

With lifespans reaching longer than 150 years, no doubt the turtle has had time to do some reflecting. Have you ever wondered how many times you've wondered about reincarnation?

Do you know a human wallowing in the throes of existential turmoil? Here's a way to prod them out of their solipsistic spiral and let them know you care.

The average square footage of a pea pod is .25x.004, w/d not included. That's why in these modern days of Craigslist it is advisable to source a pea that you are sure you can get along with before signing on to a 4-6 wk pod lease.

Expert birders will agree that the easiest way to differentiate the Mountain Bluebird from the Western Bluebird is to see how many respective followers they have on social media. The Mountain Bluebird typically hunts insects while flying, so their tweets are often fractured staccatos of thought that barely hit the 80-character mark. Western Bluebirds, on the other hand, flock in low-lying thrush nests and deliver widely pandering social observations like the following:

There are two types of personalities in this world. Those that are confident, and those that need constant reassurance. Am I right?

Maybe you feel like you've phoned it in with a friendship lately and want them to know you still think about them lots. Tell them with something a little more personal than a #tweet.

How do you think the unthinkable? How do you thank the unthankable? How do you neatly wrap up an anaphora?

Maybe there was a moment in your life someone did something so special that it reaffirmed your faith in Good, or maybe they did the dishes even though it was silently understood that it was your turn.

Either way, this card lets that human know they made a big impact.

Hearts are already known for their innate sense of rhythm, but did you know they also have an impeccable sense of comedic timing and audience engagement? Generally any time a Heart gets up to sing in front of a crowd it is hard for them to get past the banter and into the tunes.

Whether your heart is joking or crooning, it's a good thing to let someone know exactly what it's feeling. Listen to it, follow it, and all that.

Squirrels top the list of urban wildlife problem makers, nesting in homes and exploiting bird feeders. Paradoxically, they also rank first among preferred species for “pointing and laughing at”, probably because of their chubby little hands. We want them and we don’t want them, depending on what they are doing at any given moment.

Trying to stage an intervention for a friend with hoarder tendencies? Or perhaps a close buddy is being pressured into a vasectomy and you want to express your solidarity? The possibilities for this card are nearly limitless.

There is no better way to tell someone you love every part of them than by showing them a folksy cut-out diagram of the human body replete with fat cells and skeletal phalanges. This love note digs deep.

The core is illuminated with hand-applied real copper leafing. It will patina with time and touch.

You can rest in peace but I’m waking you up when I get there. That is to say it may be engraved, but no goodbye is really set in stone. Give someone this hopeful card in the face of loss, and maybe explain to them what TTYL means if they don’t know.

This card comes with a free piece of tin foil on the inside to help cover everything.

The “elephant in the room” is a metaphorical idiom for an obvious truth that is going unaddressed. It originated in 1814 when a fabulous Russian poet called Ivan Andreevich Krylov wrote a story that tells of a man who goes to a museum and notices all sorts of tiny things but fails to notice an elephant.

If the late, great Kevin Spacey once said "mediocrity is the elephant in the room," then why not celebrate everything unusual with this sweet little card? Use it to introduce the elephant and ease the tension.

I scream, you scream -- why are we all yelling? You already know that, historically, ice cream was reserved for the upper class. But did you know the recipe was kept hidden for centuries, protected by the gelato mafiettes, only to be melted in the Pennsylvania Ironic Ice Cream Fire of 1936? The ice cream that we know and love today is only a derivative recipe of age-old speculation trying to emulate that first frozen bite.

Melt another human's heart with this sweet treat.

Giraffes as we know them today weren't always that way. Born with an extreme aversion to getting their bellies tickled, the original stump-legged long-neck had to tippy-toe it’s way around the tall grasses of the Savannah. The long, spindly appendages that give the Giraffe it’s namesake actually evolved to step over the grass instead of around it. Thus giving them a huge pythagorean advantage previously unseen in the animal kingdom.

Give this card to that human that inspires you to keep reaching.

Ringing rocks are rocks that have the property of resonating like a bell when struck, and are generally found in Bucks County, Pennsylvania. In the early 1730s some of the heavier hitters rolled into a boulder field and called themselves Stony Garden, featuring the artist Henry Pelham. While they didn’t top any charts, they definitely made some.

This literal little card is designed for that human who has provided you a rock-solid foundation that you can always lean on, who has given you the support to rock.

Fireflies have a variety of light patterns to communicate during courtship rituals. A steady glow means “I’ve recently achieved sexual maturation and I’m looking for a fit mate to fulfill my instinctual drive for genetic diaspora.” Short bursts of flashing can be roughly translated to “SWB looking 4 an open-minded life partner 4 a few days.”

For that special human who is a beacon of hope, a guiding light, and an illuminated spirit. Get ready to get surprised, because this little card comes with a delightful twist. Bottle up your own bioluminescence and get someone glowing tonight!

Despite its many many legs, the octopus has consistently tested in last place for multitasking among mammalian species. Many academics have formed loud alliances to disavow this finding, stating the obvious fact that an octopus has eight legs (you could count that on two hands) and is not a mammal.

The only reason this card exists is because it has wide commercial appeal. Give it to that human in your life that likes octopuses, and scribble something sweet and with intent.

Semiaquatic Rodent Monthly often features stories that highlight the struggle of the modern beaver to acclimate to an ever-shifting climate. Just thirty years ago it was common for these river rats to nest in the dam for most of the day, focusing on menial tasks, and letting their hair grow wild. Now the enterprising beaver is out hitting the stream with a strut, a sense of purpose, and a close crop.

Let someone know you care down there.

In 1869, while doing experiments searching for the location of the soul, German physiologist Friedrich Goltz demonstrated that a frog that has had its brain removed will remain in slowly heated water. Modern scientists agree that a frog that has had its brain removed will probably stay put, wherever it is.

The hot tub may be an especially dangerous place to play, but this allegorical frog is here to stay. Until he dies.

Young Welsh men used to spend days meticulously carving delicate wooden spoons so they could offer their crushes the most magnificent utensil possible. Now the modern art of spooning is a more physical sort --evolutionarily designed for maximum comfortability and feelings of mutual safety.

Give this card to the human that makes you feel treasured, buoyed, and secure.

Inosculation is a natural phenomenon in which the cambium of two trees touch and then grow together. The human equivalency of this relationship is commonly referred to as “a relationship.”

Do you ever feel positively grafted to the trunk of your other half? Tell them with this card, googly-eyes included!