Change doctors!

Mntncrone - good advice and I did. Still got nowhere as they all seemed to be singing from the same 'you might change your mind' sheet. Though I didn't change my mind. In the end I was offered a different procedure that was supposed to help the pain. By the time that happened, and failed to work, I was near the time I should be going through the menopause as I was told it was bound to be early as my all my sisters, my mother and my grandmother had early meno. Didn't happen early of course... 🙄

The stats show that regretting a sterilization is actually rather rare. Also, they don't try to dissuade men from being sterilized with nearly the same reliability and fervor they do with women. It's disgustingly misogynist and patronizing. As I mentioned elsewhere, Planned Parenthood is a good place to get gyn care if you need health-care team that will treat you with respect (including sterilization if you're young and/or childfree, which docs seem to usually consider risk factors for regret).

I was so extremely lucky. I was able to get my tubes tied at 21 after I had my second child. In Texas, in 1995 by a male OB/GYN. He didn't argue or question he just told me that because I was using Medicaid and had just started on it (we had just moved back to Texas) I had to wait 30 days after delivery to have the tubal. He even scheduled the surgery that day. I really wish every gyno was like that.

I get when doctors want to prevent people from making wrong decisions. But. If you were in your forties. And not to mention in pain. Then it's just stupid and belittling. Because even if for some crazy miracle you would want kids after going forty years, at least, of knowing you don't want them, then you could adopt or foster or have one via gestational carrier if it's within your means. Not having kids from your own uterus is not and will never be the end of the world... whether you don't have any or take a different route. It's awesome to have kids, it's also awesome to not have them. So sorry to hear you had to deal with that lunacy.

Dilly What state do you live in? I could have had my tubal ligation at the age of 21. In California they have you sign the paperwork, then you have to wait 72 hours before the surgery can be done. My doctor talked me out of it but he never refused to do it. We made a deal that I would wait until I was 35. He performed my surgery shortly after my 35th birthday. I have zero regrets and I am now 62!

PCOS & Endo can also reduce the chances of your getting pregnant and make a complicated pregnancy more likely. It really doesn't make sense that they wouldn't they just let you have your wish and improve your day to day life! I also have endo so I know how you feel. So, so sorry that you are having such a hard time. I hope you find a doctor who will listen.

Oh Shelby , I am so sorry you are having to go through all this. Especially their barbaric and cruel attitudes to you.

Shop around. There just has to be a doctor out there somewhere who will take you seriously.

If you have a Planned Parenthood anywhere near you, contact them. I can't speak for every facility in the organization, but when I wanted to be sterilized as a single, childfree 31yo cishet woman, they're the only ones who took me seriously. They might even just be able to help you find a better doctor, if they can't help you themselves. Your particular situation is extreme (it seems obvious a hysterectomy is indicated in your case) but anti-sterilization bias is common and I'm sure they've got some useful info.

I had the exact same experience, a (male) gynecologic oncologist going on about the imaginary husband, when my uterus was precancerous! I finally got the hysterectomy from my (female) ob-gyn, and I'm so happy I did!

My uncle was repeatedly talked out of a vasectomy by doctors who thought he may remarry and start a second family someday (he didn’t). But you’re right that I hear more stories about women being hassled for their reproductive choices.

Having just your uterus removes is different from having uterus and ovaries removed.

My mom had a partial hysterectomy when I was younger. (removal of the uterus but not the ovaries) The recovery process sucked, if I remember correctly, due to insurance not wanting to pay for her full hospital stay. Grandma and Grandpa had to play nurse and take care of her for most of her recovery. However, after recovering, she's been perfectly fine and has always said that it ultimately was a great decision. It resolved some health issues she had, and she hasn't had to deal with periods for no good reason for over two decades. If I thought I could find someone to perform it with me behind childless, and thought I could afford it, I would absolutely have a partial hysterectomy. No fear of pregnancy, no more ruining clothes every month, no more feeling like absolute garbage. Any complications short of death would be more than worth it to not have to deal with Evil Week ever again.

Surgery and anaesthesia have improved a lot even in just the last ten years. Shelby 's suffering is pointless and cruel.

Biljana Malesevic A tubal ligation is the surgery most women commenting on this subject are talking about. I had a tubal ligation in an outpatient surgery center and could have gone to work the next day if I wanted to.

@mewmew34 I get what you are saying but you are using incorrect terminology for "partial" hysterectomy. It is a total hysterectomy when the uterus and cervix are removed. It is a partial hysterectomy when the uterus is removed but the cervix is not removed. The ovaries have nothing to do with the 'hysterectomy' but can be removed at the same time. That procedure is called a bilateral oophorosalpingectomy.

Those of us who know our minds shouldn't get screwed because ones like you could change your mind. It's very simple, just like abortion...if you want it, fine, if you don't, don't get it. No one is forcing you to do it, just as no one should be prevented from doing it.

Forgive me for questioning why she's amazing when she was telling you what to do!!!