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30 Women Share The Times They Were Completely Ignored In Favor Of Men, Despite Being Clients
Being ignored is a frustrating experience. But being ignored because of your gender, race, culture, or sexuality is enough to make you livid. Unfortunately, even in the 21st century, being stereotyped and written off at a glance is still possible.
In a viral thread on the r/AskReddit community, redditor Teacherspet5859438e (wow, that’s a long username!) asked the women on the site to share the times that they were being ignored in favor of their male partners, colleagues, or friends, despite them being the clients.
Have a scroll through some of the top responses and let us know if you’ve ever experienced anything similar in the comment section at the bottom of this list. Keep in mind, some of these stories might get you worked up with how unfair they are. Rude? Lacking manners? That’s just the tip of the iceberg...
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#1
We were buying a new mattress. It was a joint decision for the feel of it, but my decision for the price-point and warranty because I was paying for it. I noticed the salesperson talking to my husband more than to me (the one with the money), but I'm used to it. Then, my husband wandered away as if he'd never seen a furniture store before.
Weird, but okay. He came back and said, 'Hey, can I have some money? I'm going to go check out the *insert dumb little decorative thing.*' I was weirded out because I have never seen him care about even a lamp enough to go examine it on his own. But I said sure and handed him some cash.
The salesman IMMEDIATELY stopped paying attention to my husband. Suddenly, in his mind, I was wearing the pants. He started asking me what I did for a living and whatnot, and I was able to negotiate for a slightly lower price. I love my husband so much. He knew exactly what he was doing.
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#2
I'm an Army veteran. My debit card is with a military-affiliated bank. Every time I pay for dinner at a restaurant, they bring it back, set it in front of my husband, and thank him for his service.
My husband was never in the military. The card has my name on it, and sometimes, they even have watched me pull it out of my bag!
I have also been by myself somewhere, paid for something with the card, and had the person who sees the card look at me and say, 'Oh, was your husband or dad in the military?' Um, no. No, they were not. I was. Thank you.
#3
This August I bought a new truck and took my boyfriend with. He is white and I am mexican, we arrived at the dealership and I asked about the explorer they had front and center. Salesman comes over and is asking a bunch of questions to my bf. He told him its for me. I was ignored for the entire conversation. I got up and started looking at the truck. A Hispanic Salesman comes and asks me if I need help. I was out of there within 1.5 hours keys in hand. Found my bf with the other salesman. I looked at bf and said I bought the one I wanted Manny G got me squared away. The look of utter disappointment and anger on the guys face was worth it. My bf chuckled and told said "I told you she was the one buying." Manny you were great.
Kari Panda 3 years ago
I love that story. They woman got good assistance, the boyfriend had a little bit of entertainment while waiting, and the guy got served.
The redditor’s thread got 63.6k upvotes and over 200 awards, proving that it’s a topic that resonated with the online community. Though the thread pointed out that there are plenty of guys out there who have old-fashioned attitudes, there’s a positive flipside, too: some men are more than happy to stand up for their loved ones and coworkers, setting the record straight.
Gender stereotypes, according to the Council of Europe, are one of the main obstacles on the path to “real gender equality” because they lead to gender discrimination. These stereotypes are “preconceived ideas whereby males and females are arbitrarily assigned characteristics and roles determined and limited by their sex.”
#4
My old teacher told me a story about a cold caller. A man phoned the house phone (this was around the 80s/90s when people still had house phones) asking for the man of the house to talk about changing supplier for something or other. My teacher (a woman) told the man that her husband was away on a business trip and to call back the next day.
He called the next day, again asking for the man of the house, and she informed him that her husband had been delayed and to call back the next day. He called the next day, and she informed him that due to bad weather his flight had been delayed until later on that night, so please call back the next day. He called the next day, she put her husband on, the man asked about changing to his company's service. The husband informing him that his wife dealt with all the bills and please talk to her. My teacher took the phone, said "no thank you" and hung up.
#5
I’ve been on the flip side of this.
For years, I worked at bicycle shops and regularly sold some pretty expensive bikes.
One day, a couple came in. The wife was interested in a bike, and it quickly became apparent that the husband was an overpowering, dominating type. “She wants to do this, she doesn’t want to do that, she likes this, she doesn’t like that” etc.
When it became clear she wasn’t being allowed to do much speaking at all, I would let the husband as the question, and I’d reply by physically turning and giving the answer to the wife, making eye contact with her only and pointedly ignoring the husband. It was pretty blatant.
She loved it. She lit up, engaged with me, and genuinely seemed to enjoy the process of learning more about riding and getting into a new sport/hobby.
#6
I was at Best Buy getting some PC components because my friend asked me to help update his motherboard and processor. The first employee was respectful and sent for someone with keys to get the parts for me. The guy with the keys kept asking my friend what he wanted. And when I would have to answer, he would ask me twice and sometimes three times if I was sure about it.
Yes. I’m sure. I have a computer science degree. Give me the processor.
Shadow 3 years ago
First I should mention that I am female and I made a sales person at Best Buy run away... I started asking specific questions about the components of their prebuilt gaming computers (they were at least three years out of date and still wanted over $2000 for them) that were on display. I was in the store for something else and thought I'd look to see what the current tech for computers was as I was planning on building my own gaming computer. The last time I had built a desktop was the year DDR1 memory first hit the market and mentioned that, the guy gave me a look and just turned and walked away. I still don't know what his problem was but since he didn't want to or couldn't help me, I then went to the local mom and pop computer store had a great conversation with the guys there, bought the components I wanted and put the computer together myself.
The Council of Europe explains the dangers of such stereotypes: “Sex stereotyping can limit the development of the natural talents and abilities of boys and girls, women and men, their educational and professional experiences as well as life opportunities in general. Stereotypes about women both result from and are the cause of deeply engrained attitudes, values, norms, and prejudices against women. They are used to justify and maintain the historical relations of power of men over women as well as sexist attitudes which are holding back the advancement of women.”
As with plenty of other sensitive issues, education is one of the key ways how attitudes can be changed. But personal responsibility is just one part of the solution. New government and business policies can contribute to fighting gender stereotypes in the workplace and outside of it. That and reminding everyone that basic manners, like not turning your back to someone or pretending they’re not even there, still mean a lot, even in 2021.
#7
I took my colleague out to lunch. When the bill came around, the waitress gave it to him because she assumed he would be paying.
He wasn’t a subordinate, he was at the same level as me. However, I was given a company card, and he wasn’t due to the nature of our jobs. He graciously grabbed the bill and gave it to me, saying, 'She’s the boss.' Smart move: It made me feel validated, and he got a free lunch.
cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
Where ever I go in the UK the waiter/waitress asks who gets the bill
#8
I’m a female business owner with a male business partner. I’ve had a few customers and reps born in the Dark Ages who ask to 'speak to my boss.
The worst was a guy who snapped his fingers and told me to 'put the kettle on, girly.' Needless to say, he didn’t get his cuppa, and he certainly didn’t get the discount he asked for.
#9
He wasn't my husband, not even my boyfriend, but a guy friend I happened to have around when a carpenter came to fix something in MY home.
I welcomed the joiner in and started talking to him about the issue. Then, he saw my friend and did a 180° to talk to him. He literally turned his back on me while I was mid-sentence. In MY home.
#10
I have a chronic pain disease that runs in the family. I noticed that my father and male relatives have no problems securing pain meds, but my doctors would never give me any — despite me clearly indicating how much pain I was in.
So I started bringing either my father or my husband to my medical appointments (which is hugely intrusive), would have them repeat how much pain I was in, and low and behold, suddenly I get pain medication.
#11
Oh, comic cons. I’ve learned to just tell men that I’m not that into comics when they try to ask me what I’m into. Otherwise, half the time, it turns into an interrogation where they try to prove I’m 'not a true comic fan.
I’m a comic book artist.
#12
When I had my appendix taken out, I asked my doctor when sex would be okay again. He turned to my husband and said, 'Whenever you feel ready, you can begin sexual relations again.
I don’t know if he was uncomfortable talking to me about it or was deferring to what my husband would prefer. Either way, it was strange.
#13
I was trying to collect a parcel from the post office that was addressed to both me and my husband. They told me that my husband had to come to collect it. I asked whether they meant both of us had to be there, and the response was no, just him.
Needless to say, I was not happy. After a while of arguing, they gave me the parcel.
#14
We had our backyard completely relandscaped. When the landscaper came over for the estimate, he almost exclusively addressed my husband — even though I'd made it clear I was the one doing the designing and knew what I wanted to be done. Afterward, when I paid him, he kept looking behind me for my husband.
He almost didn't give me the aftercare instructions for the new sod, saying he wanted to make sure it was done right so he'd email them to my husband. I finally snapped, 'Give me the damn piece of paper, Bruce! I'm the one who will be home during the day to do the damn thing!' (I worked nights at the time.)
He reluctantly handed it over and called my husband the next day to make sure the lawn got watered. My husband told him, 'You'd have to ask her, Bruce. She told you she'd do the damn thing,' and hung up. I had, indeed, done the damn thing.
#15
My husband and I wanted a fence around our house. A man came over to give an estimate during a workday. I was ready to sign the papers, and he said, 'I’d rather talk to your husband about the numbers and get his signature since he will be the one paying for it.' I asked him to leave my property and never come back.
I have always worked from home, and my husband has always worked in a field where he cannot take time to meet with contractors, etc. He and I agree on terms upfront, and then I make decisions from there. It doesn’t matter in life, but for this story it does: I make more than my husband. For the fence, we had already agreed on this company based on various factors, and the estimate had ended up being less than we expected to pay.
We had already agreed on this company based on various factors. A man came over to give an estimate during a work day, which ended up being less than we expected to pay. I was ready to sign the papers and he said “I’d rather talk to your husband about the numbers and get his signature since he will be the one paying for it” I asked him to leave my property and never come back.
#16
When my husband and I were looking for our first house, he had just graduated and still had student debt. I had been practicing law and had $20k saved for the downpayment. The real estate agent only spoke to him, even if I asked the questions.
In one house, we went to look at the basement, and the guy said, 'You don't want to go there. It has spiders.' I told my husband that I wouldn't ever buy a house from him
Later, the guy ran for office, and I told everyone the story, including a woman that called me randomly to promote his candidacy. Turns out, she was his mother. It's a small thing but indicative of his attitude toward 'the fairer sex.'
Hadesdaughter 3 years ago
I wouldve marched right in there grabbed a daddy long legs and placed it on that guys head
#17
I was trying to buy a TV, and my boyfriend came along to help carry the box. Every time I asked a question, the employee would answer by turning to my boyfriend and talking to him. Even when my boyfriend said stuff like, 'I don't know, it’s her TV,' the employee still faced and made eye contact only with him.
I was getting pretty irritated. The last straw was when I was handing him MY credit card, and he turns to my boyfriend to ask if he wants the two-year warranty. Finally, I snapped at him, 'IT'S NOT HIS TV! I AM BUYING THIS TV! STOP TRYING TO SELL IT TO HIM!' I was pissed, and it was the most irritating and sexist customer service I’ve ever experienced.
tuzdayschild 3 years ago
There is no way on earth I would have completed that sale. And I would have told his supervisor why.
#18
When I was a baby, I wouldn't 'latch on' when my mother breastfed me, so I wasn't eating well. The doctor completely ignored my mom and only talked to my dad because she was 'too hysterical.'
He was on the verge of finding out what that looked like.
#19
Not exactly this scenario, but it rankles me to this day. There was a particular car I wanted and I wanted it with a manual transmission, which was tough to find in that car. There was one at a local dealer that was near my office, so I stopped in during my lunch hour to see what they'd do on price. At the time, I was a young, professional woman in my twenties. The car was for me and I was paying cash.
I wander in around noon on a Tuesday. No one even acknowledges my presence though there was NO ONE else in the showroom. Finally, I go up to one of the salespeople and say "Hey, do you still have [model] car? I thought you had one in stock." The guy looked at me, in total seriousness, and says in a very condescending tone, "Oh, honey, you don't want that car, it has a manual transmission. Let me show you these others that would be better for you."
Ummmm, wtf? After the initial shock wore off, I looked at him and said, "Well, first off, my name isn't 'Honey'. I have a name which you'd know if you'd bothered to ask. Second, I know what I want and don't need you to tell me. I think we're done here." And, with that, I walked out the door.
I ended up finding the same model, manual transmission, at another dealership about a hour from my house. TOTALLY worth the drive. I did most of the deal over the phone. The salesman DGAF that I was female. We got to a price we could both live with and the deal was done. SO MUCH BETTER. Drove that car until it died about 10 years later.
The first dealership went out of business about a year later. Can't say I'm surprised.
Ripley 3 years ago
My previous car was a manual, bought new. When I told the dude at the dealership I wanted a manual he high-fived me. I think that attitudes to women are a lot different here in Australia than they are in the US. It still happens sometimes, but this level of sexism just doesn't seem to be anywhere near as bad here.
#20
I was the guy in the scenario but I was at a comic con with my girlfriend. It was her idea to go to the con as she actively collected comics (I have a pile of graphic novels but usually don't bother with individual issues.) At one booth there was an indie artist trying to hawk his new book. He saw us both looking through a copy and came over to engage. He started talking to me but then she asked him a question about the book. He gave a short answer and then tried to talk to me about the book again. She just got an annoyed look for a second and then moved onto the next booth. I set the book down and cut him off to say "sorry dude, she's the comic fan, I was just looking at the drawings" and then moved on too.
Assuming I was the nerdier one was acceptable. Still a somewhat sexist assumption, but if you look at the traditional gender split of a comic con it's a reasonable assumption. But once she tried to engage and he ignored her in favor of a male then that just showed he was an idiot. And seeing it first-hand I really kind of felt bad for nerdy girls who have guys gatekeeping nerdy things or assuming the girls don't have the right to be interested in them.
Hadesdaughter 3 years ago
Well I like that you were the Male who noticed this and not just kept going without consulting your GF
#21
At work, I was meeting a new vendor ('Pat') that was to be servicing one of the facility systems I oversee. Pat had already met the facilities engineer (also a man), who was introducing me to Pat. Instead of talking directly to me, Pat shook my hand, turned to my coworker, and asked him, 'And what does she do here?'
A few weeks later, Pat had the unpleasant opportunity to learn that I’m the one who calls him when his company falls through and doesn’t deliver. Needless to say, I was not overly polite about it when Pat failed to do his job.
WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
The second encounter with Pat would have been a splendid " In my office, NOW" moment to tear him apart.
#22
I work on male-skewing TV shows, and a lot of my colleagues are male. I'm the showrunner, and I direct the shows. We hire local drone operators, so when we meet our drone team, I give them an overview of what we're looking for in the shot. Conservatively, 75% of the time, follow up questions will be directed to my male colleagues.
We hire local drone operators across the US and globally. No matter where we go, it happens. My colleagues are now in the habit of just staring back in response, letting it get real awkward, and then saying, 'Ask her.'
#23
I'm not a woman but I witnessed this scenario. I've posted it on reddit before but here it is again
A little more than a decade ago I (male) was at a party with a few friends and a whole bunch of strangers. I got into a conversation with another guy about our work. He was a programmer and I was a physicist, and at some point we started talking about quantum computing. He asked me a whole bunch of questions to which I gave answers, but my subfield was not quantum information. Fortunately my friend came to the party with me, and she was also a physicist, and specifically a quantum computing specialist. As soon as I saw her cross my field of vision I waved her over thinking she'd both appreciate the conversation and be able to contribute a whole lot more than I could.
Y'all. Even after I introduce her as a fellow physicist and quantum computing expert, the guy kept asking me questions. And I kept being like, "I honestly have no clue, [friend], you're the expert, what's going on there." And like, I deflected three or four questions that way before I think he got the hint that maybe he's addressing the wrong person.
He changes his conversation strategy so that instead of asking me about QIS, he starts trying to show off, to her, what he knows about it. Like, in his brain this flipped from an opportunity to learn more about quantum computers to an opportunity to get laid showing off what little he knows about the subject. So he's mansplain-flirting quantum information science to a woman who had literally built and programmed what was, at the time, one of the world's only functioning multi-qubit quantum computers.
I wish I could say I watched her die a little inside, but apparently this was so common a kind of occurrence that she was inured to it, and just laughed and went to get another beer.
#24
I once caught some hunters trespassing on my property. I wasn’t rude to them at all, I just waved from the other side of the field. The next day, they show up at my house. One gestures towards the police car in the driveway and asks to speak to my husband about hunting in our woods.
I was like, 'You can talk to him if you want, but that’s my cruiser, and this is my land, not his.' They still insisted on getting permission from my husband.
#25
One time, I described my car problem to the desk guy at the auto shop as a 'clicking' when I turned the key and asked if they'd check the timing belt. He said I'd have to leave my car there, so my husband arrived 10 minutes later to pick me up. The mechanic came out and asked him what was going on with the car, never looking at me.
I finally asked if he'd checked the timing belts as I'd asked the guy at the desk to do. He had not. Gotta say, mad turned to cocky when it turned out to be the timing belt. This happens a lot with auto repair.
TexasPK 3 years ago
My dad taught me a lot about cars. I had a 1971 Pinto that I bought with my own money when I was 19. One day it was sluggish, jerking, noisy, etc. I took it over to my dad so he could check the cylinders before I took it in for warranty repairs. I then took it into the dealership and told them which cylinder was misfiring. The guy looked at me and said they'd have to check it out. I looked him dead in the eye and repeated myself again telling him which cylinder was the culprit. He insisted upon checking it while I stood there. I will never forget the look on his face when he had to admit I was correct.
#26
I ordered a grill from Lowe’s for curbside pickup and called my best friend with a truck (who is male) to drive. The Lowe’s dude took forever before coming outside MULTIPLE TIMES to let my friend know the grill is missing, give him status updates, and apologize.
The whole time, he's looking my friend in the face and ignoring me. Every single time, my friend says, 'Talk to her. I’m just the ride.' Women are allowed to make purchases. We like food, too. Friend earned major additional kudos that day for calling out the Lowe’s dude’s sexism.
#27
We wanted to replace our roof and had found a company that was running a promotion. I called and scheduled for someone to come out for a quote. I was able to answer all of his questions, but he refused to give me a quote without my husband present (with some 'sign before we leave for best price' excuse). He was intent on driving back over the following day when my husband would be home.
I called their main office shortly after he left and told them that I wasn't interested in any high-pressure sales tactics, I just wanted a quote, and if they wouldn't give that to me, the one who would be paying for it, then to not bother coming back out. I didn't see them again. The three other roofing companies I contacted had no problem dealing solely with me.
#28
We were buying a car for me. Because we were paying for it outright but financing the minimum amount, we had to sit in the salesman's office for an inordinately long time answering questions. The salesman — who was great in every other way — would ask my husband the questions. My husband pointed at me and said, 'I don't know, it's her car.' The salesman said, 'Of course, but we all know how it goes, right?' and kept asking him.
We both wanted to get the paperwork signed and get the hell out of there with the car, but we were also on the same wavelength wondering how far we could go with this. So, the salesman would ask my husband a question. My husband would blatantly turn to me and repeat the question. I would answer him, then he would turn back to the salesman and repeat exactly what I'd said. The dude never got the idea that maybe he could just ask me the questions.
We bought my husband a car later and put both of our names on the paperwork. When we had to sign, the finance guy saw that my last name was different and asked when we were getting married. He was confused when we said, 'Er, eight years ago?'
Remi Flynne 3 years ago (edited)
Edit - I edited the comment and missed a bit out. It was just a point of comparison.
#29
When my parents and I went to look at colleges, the admissions guy opened by shaking my dad's hand, constantly directed questions at my dad, and would look to him for confirmation whenever my mom said something.
My mom is defacto the money person of our family unit. She manages the family finances and investments, and she was way, way, way more qualified to comment on things like student loans or expected contribution. When we left that meeting, she was absolutely furious that she had to basically fight the admissions person to have a normal conversation.
WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
The father could have immediately set that admissions guy straight. "I'm just the brawn, she's the brains. Talk to her or fight with me."
#30
When I was shopping for a car, the salesmen at every dealership kept talking to my husband instead of me — even though I was the one who contacted the dealerships and made sure to introduce myself first.
My husband got sick of it and started telling them, 'Don’t talk to me, it’s not my car. Talk to her.' I wound up buying from a saleswoman who treated us equally — until she pretty quickly figured out my husband was not involved whatsoever in the decision.
What do you think ?
A. HAM 3 years ago
The fact that there are so many examples of this, is mortifying. Here’s my story: I moved to a new state and wanted to purchase a home. My old state let me purchase homes all by myself, even though I was married. (In fact, I purchased three.) My new state wouldn’t let me, even though I was paying cash, and the funds were 100% from my personal bank account. My new state not only required my husband’s name be on all the paperwork, but he was listed as the buyer, and I was listed as “spouse”. IT WAS 100% MY FREAKING MONEY, NOT HIS! I’m surprised my new state lets me vote.
Lili 3 years ago
You can actually sue the state for this. Surprising they've never been sued before (or have they?), where are all the rich ladies there?
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Heather Williams 3 years ago
I am a happily single woman. And I still get asked if my husband approves of me buying things or handling finances or such things or get spam letters addressed to Mr [my surname]. Wherever this mystery husband is that I supposedly have I would love to meet him.
Angie Chan 3 years ago
I am in the same boat. Solicitors stop by the house and ask to speak to my husband...then boyfriend. I will give credit to one salesman who recognized his precarious position, then asked for my girlfriend. That one got a laugh out of me.
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MRSS 3 years ago
So I am the only One that works in my Parts Department where I work. I manage it and deal with the Tech's in the shop and the woman who runs service. I do in fact work for Ford by the way. When a customer call's or comes in they ask for Parts and I either pick up the phone or walk to the counter to help them out. They take one look at me and then look around past me to see if someone else is in my department or ask over the phone if they have Parts. Can I help you? Is all I say, and the response every single time is: Is there a Man or a Tech that can help me. No Sir, I run Parts and have been doing so for 20yrs. It's either this woman you are looking past or you get no parts.
Aunt Messy 3 years ago
Something like this happened years ago when I worked at a lumberyard. A guy showed up and told me to "get one of the guys" to load his truck. HIs purchase was already tied down on a pallet, so I went to get the forklift and he stopped me and told me to "get one of the guys". My manager walked up and the guy started babbling at him about loading, so my manager turned to me and said, "What are you waiting for? Load the truck? This guy is full of s**t."
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Caroline Nagel 3 years ago
I once got berated by a plumber that the window in my bathroom in the appartment I rented was in the wrong place. I still wonder what I could have done about it.
Remi Flynne 3 years ago
Weird. Never come across a plumber that worried about windows. Just tell them it's rented and not your responsibility.
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Rachel Adams 3 years ago
I once got told by a man that, as a girl (i'm 47!) i only liked Doctor Who because i must fancy David Tennant and thats the only reason girls watched it. I pointed out that i was probably watching Doctor Who before he was born and my favourite was actually Tom Baker
Miss Milinky 3 years ago
My Partner and I have very different tastes when it comes to food/drink. I like meaty steaks, an Old Fashioned or a pint of lager in the pub. He's a veggie burger/poached fish kinda guy and likes any cocktail that looks more like a chocolate milkshake. He likes a sticky sweet pudding. I like a cheese board. It's incredible how often our orders get delivered the wrong way around!
Ren Karlej 3 years ago
Not had any of this... if I'm the one buying they talk to me. Regardless of the product. The only time I have ever experienced anything remotely like this was in a town in France in 2005 when we were given the 'ladies' menus that come without the prices. Only the men had menus where they could see the costs. We hadn't seen that before so asked why and the staff were very friendly and explained to us.
Serbob 3 years ago
I see it all the time. We had a staff Xmas lunch at a restaurant. About a dozen people. I was head of the committee and had the cash. The whole time the waitress flirted (yes, flirted!) with the guy at the head or the table and ignored the ladies at the end. Her face totally dropped when she brought the check and I told her to bring it down to me.
tuzdayschild 3 years ago
This does not happen to me. I must have a "don't even think about it" look on my face.
Josy Bannon 3 years ago
Its sad those things still happen! I'm a little on the fence with the comments like: Ha I would have said...or I just would have done this and that..or your husband/boyfriend/+1 should have...because it might make women feel they didnt do enough, should have just been different. Whilst actually those men should have just not been so sexist in the first place. On the other hand I understand those fantasies to speak up, shut them down and so on but why dont we say: the (sexist) man should have said, Oh I am sorry, the car is for you? How can I help you? Or I am so sorry, whilst placing the bill in front of the woman. They SHOULD HAVE treated those women with respect. The women acted perfectly fine.
Stormapotamus 3 years ago
I had the car dealership thing happen to me last year. The guy kept talking to my husband even after he said "it's her car" so eventually I said that if he didn't start addressing me, I would go elsewhere. I got a really good deal after that.
BonnyDK 3 years ago
I live this everyday. To sell my home two years after I married, that I paid for 100% of before hand, the title company insisted he sign all the paperwork along with my signature. The house was 100% in my name only. Just a few months before it sold my husband was diagnosed with stage 3 brain cancer, terminal. He cannot fill out forms anymore. He has no short term memory as that is where the tumor was. I have a POA over medical and financial. I am his accommodations person at his work and his caregiver. I handle all the finances. Everyone from Doctors to his employers, to you name it wants to have detailed conversations with him only. I have been asked why I accompany him on his appointments. Well because he doesn't remember what you just said even 5 minutes from now. He looses conversations after a couple of sentences and can only follow one direction at a time. And yet they insist on directing the conversations to him. I get that he is their patient. But he won't remember anything.
Rukkia 3 years ago
With the medical part, I can explain that. We always treat our patients as our patients. Focus conversation t them, with them, and around them. A good provider will also include the POA in the conversation for reasons including memory, but do not want to treat our clients like they are not important. The other stuff, is just sexism.
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Rhea 3 years ago
For me it once happpened the other way around: Year ago I met a friend while shopping. One of his acquaintances was hospitalized and asked him to buy a bra for her. So I joined him to a lingerieshop. After he explained the sales lady what model (modest) and size (not comparable to me) he wanted, she showed him a few different models. After he picked one, the lady asked if I wanted to try it one. After I told her "No thanks, the bra isn't for me," she couldn't hide her astonishment. My friend payed for the bra and we barely could keep ourselves from laughing out loud before we exited the store. PS: We weren't offended. It's one of our fondest memories :) PPS: His family used to own a lingery store, that's why his acquaintance asked him to buy the bra :)
Lili 3 years ago
Bad customer service in most of those cases. Doubt that was the first time they lost a sale/customer cuz of sexism. Wonder why they still prioritized their sense of male superiority over cash?
Lili 3 years ago
I'm also confused as where to put the US in the gender equality scale. I'm from an Asian country, currently living in Western Europe, and in both places never experienced or encountered or even heard of such issues. Europe is fairly equal, although situations are worse in the south. My home country is new to the late feminism waves. Women are still expected to do house chores and take care of children (not true in younger generations and the society is changing fast). However women are traditionally the one managing budgets and making household decisions, so they are never taken lightly. The only area where women are perceived less capable than men is driving (I wouldn't deny, many wear heels while doing so).
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Sori 3 years ago
I LOVE showing off how much I know about paint, carpentry and basic construction when given the opportunity! As a skilled female in these areas, I impress Maintance people on the regular than follow up our conversation by asking what’s their best “life hack” or tip so that we continue learning from each other. Not sure if this is phrased correctly but, Sometimes it’s hard to be in such a male dominated field but remembering we have life knowledge to share helps?
Aunt Messy 3 years ago
The last time I bought a car, I was paying cash. My husband doesn't like driving, and traveled on business at the time. I was buying MY car. I went to a dealership that had a great service department that had always been good to me...and ended up waking out when the salesman didn't let me do a test drive, asked how I was financing it (I had told him I was paying IN FULL with a money order) and then asked to call my husband to see if I had "permission" to buy a car. ...///... I went to another dealer, he was awesome - ordered my car from the factory with all of the right options and made the whole sale as easy as it could be. ...///... Ladies, don't take this crap. I live in a big city. There are a LOT of car dealerships. If I don't like one, I move on.
Freya the Wanderer 3 years ago
Sadly, sexism is still alive and well in our society. Women have made a lot of gains, but we still have a long, long way to go. Our civilization is still patriarchal for the most part.
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
I tried to get compensation from the roadworks, who had left men at work signs out unweighted, and one smashed the back of my car and broke a light. The initial conversation was ok, they admitted fault, and told me they would contact me when they heard from their insurer (I had photos and videos etc). But I didn't hear back after several weeks, and I had my warrant of fitness coming up (6 monthly mandatory car check in which my broken taillight would make my car illegal to drive). I rang and emailed several times, kept getting the brush off, and hints that it wasn't their problem. My dad emailed them, and it was resolved immediately. I was taken aback as I had realised that they weren't fixing it due to who I was (younger, female), not because of normal red tape issues. I was glad dad could fix it, but honestly I'm a parent myself and I'm a competent adult, and it bugs me beyond belief that if I had testicles I would be listened to.
Dori Semenov 3 years ago (edited)
Happened to me. My husband and I both worked for (unnamed famous tech company). I was proudly wearing a logo baseball cap of said company while on a business trip. Someone asked me "Oh, does your HUSBAND work for ----" and I said, "Why yes he ALSO works for them". I thought that was rude and insulting.
Victoria Pitt 3 years ago (edited)
I was a manager at a manufacturing plant for 6 years, and definitely dealt with my fair share of these scenarios. I also was the manager and designer at a small print shop for a short time, ran into this crap all the time. But my most notable story was at my current job where I do technical support shifts over the phone. Got this one guy on the phone who must had assumed I was a receptionist, despite answering the phone as "technical support" and saying I could help him, mid conversation he stops and asks me "When do the men get back?" Like they were all at lunch or something.
Amy Gilbert 3 years ago
Bought a 2016 Ford Focus hatchback with the infamous PowerShift transmission. Brought the car in for service at the dealer multiple times. When I wasn't being repeatedly ignored as service managers helped contractor dudes with F250 trucks, I was told I did not understand how a transmission worked and/or I was not driving it correctly. I'll never forget the time I was given a printed handout that explained how to drive the car. Needless to say I now happily drive a Mazda.
Miguel justino C 3 years ago
I’m 6ft 1 and 230 pounds, my wife is always the brains. When this happens too her I am always quick to say “talk to her, she’s the team leader” Not sure if it’s my aggressiveness, they always immediately switch tactics! Suddenly she has respect and ignore me. My wife is awesome and I hate when people do this.
DDmaybeandor 3 years ago
I am a woman but I do all the "handy man" work at our house. My husband cooks, I fix things. I believe building supply stores are getting better training, but it's so frustrating to go. 75% of the time is a negative experience.
Lily Mae Kitty 3 years ago
I have dealt with this a lot in my life but now that I am older it's gotten a little better. I think it's b/c I am more assertive than my husband. I am the one who does all the research and makes most of the decisions about things we buy or do for our house. I work less hours and am here in the daytime more. I am pretty good at standing up for myself and making people understand it's me they need to deal with. And my hubs is good about deferring questions to me so they figure it out and stop asking him questions.
Mer☕️🧭☕️ 3 years ago
Sadly, I have my own recent (and ongoing) story. I need to be able to park in front of my front door. To do this, I'll have to have either concrete or gravel poured/spread from my driveway to slightly beyond said front door. To this day, of all the contractors I've contacted, only one has come out to look at the job and NONE of them have called back after the initial consultation but they sure do love talking on the phone... Had I been male, the job would have been completed months ago.
Abbyboudreaux 3 years ago
Regarding waiters/servers, a server friend of mine once told me part of their training was if there was a male/female couple, a male server should always address the male as much as possible and a female server should do likewise with the female customer. This was apparently to keep accusations of flirting down to a minimum because customers would routinely get angry thinking the server’s politeness was them hitting on their partner. Yikes.
Rukkia 3 years ago
I have had the opposite. Once had a waitress flirting so hard with my husband that he became uncomfortable, and would only take care of him at the table (I got my food and drink, but my order was wrong and she refused to even look at me while at the table). Check came, she hands it to him while keeping her body turned towards him. He laughs at her and hands the check to me, explaining to her that he is just the stay-at-home father. The look on her face and "OH" that came out of her, priceless. Neither of us appreciated her behavior or lack of attention to me. She did not get a tip. And just for anyone out there, my husband is an amazing stay-at-home father who makes life so much better, and I make enough to support us. He only degraded his efforts like that out of frustration.
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Alexis draskinis 3 years ago
Used to happen to a friend of mine a bunch. She worked in the tire dept at Costco. Granted she wasnt a mechanic or anything BUT they train you well to work in their depts. She kept getting sidelined by a guy trying to pick out tires. He kept asking her trainee what he should get, etc. The kid literally said to him "you should ask her. Its like my 3rd day & shes still training me"
DDmaybeandor 3 years ago
My mom ran an upholstery business and I worked with her in the 90's. Is answer calls ALL THE TIME asking for "The man in charge". I mean, sales calls like this several times a day. It's a male dominated industry, but not THAT much.
Ginger Winters 5 months ago
Biggest one I ever had happen. I took hubby out for dinner and the waitress kept ignoring me even when I needed a refill and my husband asked for it I still didn't get a refill. Finally when I paid(and didn't tip for obvious reasons) she gave my card back to my husband instead of me and then started badmouthing us not tipping while we were still in the restaurant. Management got involved after my husband started yelling at her sexist behavior. Also doesn't help that she kept flirting with him when he said I'm trying to enjoy dinner with my wife.
Patricia 2 years ago
My daughter and her husband bought a fixer-upper house and went for a bank loan. The loans officer kept talking to my SIL about the renovations that would be done, SIL said "She's the one that will be doing them." Loans officer kept on talking about what SIL was doing at the house until my daughter got mad and told him off. "He wasn't kidding. I'm doing it. I have my own tools and I know how to use them."
Destiney Haddox 3 years ago
This happens to me sooo much. As a woman who owns a business, I run into it a lot. My husband is also my business partner but he is the artist and I'm the one who makes big decisions. We have come to an agreement that we both thrive in our roles but men still talk to him and ignore me. He's awesome though and will just say, "She's the one you want to talk to, I don't make these decisions" and walk away. Sad that he has to basically give them permission to talk to me but this is after I have already stated that I'm the contact and they ignore me anyway. Rare that he has to do it but I appreciate that he does so. We need more men like him: true allies of equality!
Kaitlyn 3 years ago
Its so sad that this happens so often that I don't even consider it odd any more...I went to several stores with my stepdad looking for countertops for him and my mom, I would introduce myself and mention that I'm an ARCHITECT I know what counter tops are and every single male salesperson would ignore me completely, only look at my dad, not acknowledge my advice. ALL of the info was going through me, he just wanted to look at colors. Shopping for a fridge with my bf, I did ALL the research, I know the dimensions we need, he literally only cared about the finish, they only talk to him. Sometimes I like to take advantage of it so I can leave the transaction and go sit down lol. I wish I was bold enough to confront people - kinda wanna go car shopping just to test it out
Cat's Meow 3 years ago
I had a Pontiac Grand Pre. The motor that was replaced with a different motor than stock. At the time, it had a broken belt among other things. My husband & a mechanic friend were elbow deep in the engine & asked me to pick up the belts. The writing was worn off due to wear, so hubby handed me the broken belt & asked me to get one as close as possible. I went to the auto parts store where the mechanic friend worked. The "man" behind the counter insisted on looking up the belt model via the make/model of the car. I explained to him that the motor did not come with the car. We went over this multiple times. The belt he insisted on selling me was the wrong size. I even took it home and showed my husband. When I came back to get the right size, he became belligerent with me and said that my husband should never have sent a woman to do a man's job. I told my husband. After a "friendly" visit with hubby & mechanic friend, the "man" was fired.
Cat's Meow 3 years ago
Have had multiple experiences like these over the years! I had told my husband multiple times that one of our friends was the typical sexist, that he never listened to anything women say. My husband didn't agree. One evening, my husband and I had some friends over to play cards. This particular friend was among the group. I can't remember the exact details because it was so many years ago. A friend was having an issue with whatever. When I made a suggestion that would solve the issue, I was ignored and felt as if I hadn't spoken at all. I glanced at my husband with the "I told you so" look. Within the hour, my husband made the same suggestion and was immediately acknowledged. The friend though my husband's idea was great.
Amy Broderick 3 years ago
I used to play golf with my boyfriend (now ex) a lot. Most of the time we'd get paired up with another random pair of people. I would usually walk up to my tee box after introductions and get ready to play in a timely manner. I nearly always got this vibe of 'oh just great we have to play with a chick'. I always ignored it cause the satisfaction of watching their faces when I would outdrive them was precious to me.
Alexis D. 3 years ago
I have two, both with my dad (I'm an only, female, child) went to a bar with my dad, just him and me, and we both ordered margaritas. the (male) bartender was heavy handed with my dad's drink (we both watched) and talked to my dad the whole time, chatting him up as we drank. he put the tab in front of my dad and I took it, smiled and paid the bill. the bartender looked a bit sheepish. I went to buy a car and my dad went with me. the finance guy talked to my dad. he told the guy I'd be paying for it then started asking me if I "needed to talk to daddy" or "what does daddy think?" as we were sitting there together. SO uncomfortable.
RaroaRaroa 3 years ago
Do we have a load of bots on here today? All these replies with the commentors name then "like" or "haha" or "?" or "+" after them. What's going on?
RaroaRaroa 3 years ago
Thankfully I've not had this experience for about 25 years here in New Zealand. Some countries clearly have a lot of catching up to do.
Mosritheel 3 years ago
Managed my parents restaurant for 12 years and was responsible for recommending the CV’s of potential employees who came in. My colleague Tom helped me manage the place but wasn’t in charge (great employee and family friend). One day this guy comes in with his CV asking for the manager to talk to. I look up from cleaning a table to greet him. Restaurant is long and narrow. He completely ignored me and walked up to Tom who was at the back by the kitchen, rolling cutlery. Speaks to Tom, who is trying to refer the guy to me, confusedly. The guy speaks his piece and leaves. He was so rude I just threw his CV in the bin. Another time with Tom, this local guy comes in wanting to offer his services as business advisor with his new startup company. To be fair, he knew Tom somehow. Unfortunately, Tom wasn’t in charge. He wasted 30 minutes talking to Tom over the counter while Tom kept saying “this isn’t my business, you need to speak to the family” while I ran the tables. Guy lost out.
SirPatTheCat 3 years ago
Y'all can stop saying "Why did they even work with that person" "I wouldn"t have even bought it" on every single one. We get it. Not everyone has the time or money to make a political statement every time they experience sexism. If the person selling me a decent tv for really cheap I'm not giving it up and driving across town to a different store just because they're being an ass.
A. HAM 3 years ago
The fact that there are so many examples of this, is mortifying. Here’s my story: I moved to a new state and wanted to purchase a home. My old state let me purchase homes all by myself, even though I was married. (In fact, I purchased three.) My new state wouldn’t let me, even though I was paying cash, and the funds were 100% from my personal bank account. My new state not only required my husband’s name be on all the paperwork, but he was listed as the buyer, and I was listed as “spouse”. IT WAS 100% MY FREAKING MONEY, NOT HIS! I’m surprised my new state lets me vote.
Lili 3 years ago
You can actually sue the state for this. Surprising they've never been sued before (or have they?), where are all the rich ladies there?
Load More Replies... Heather Williams 3 years ago
I am a happily single woman. And I still get asked if my husband approves of me buying things or handling finances or such things or get spam letters addressed to Mr [my surname]. Wherever this mystery husband is that I supposedly have I would love to meet him.
Angie Chan 3 years ago
I am in the same boat. Solicitors stop by the house and ask to speak to my husband...then boyfriend. I will give credit to one salesman who recognized his precarious position, then asked for my girlfriend. That one got a laugh out of me.
Load More Replies... MRSS 3 years ago
So I am the only One that works in my Parts Department where I work. I manage it and deal with the Tech's in the shop and the woman who runs service. I do in fact work for Ford by the way. When a customer call's or comes in they ask for Parts and I either pick up the phone or walk to the counter to help them out. They take one look at me and then look around past me to see if someone else is in my department or ask over the phone if they have Parts. Can I help you? Is all I say, and the response every single time is: Is there a Man or a Tech that can help me. No Sir, I run Parts and have been doing so for 20yrs. It's either this woman you are looking past or you get no parts.
Aunt Messy 3 years ago
Something like this happened years ago when I worked at a lumberyard. A guy showed up and told me to "get one of the guys" to load his truck. HIs purchase was already tied down on a pallet, so I went to get the forklift and he stopped me and told me to "get one of the guys". My manager walked up and the guy started babbling at him about loading, so my manager turned to me and said, "What are you waiting for? Load the truck? This guy is full of s**t."
Load More Replies... Caroline Nagel 3 years ago
I once got berated by a plumber that the window in my bathroom in the appartment I rented was in the wrong place. I still wonder what I could have done about it.
Remi Flynne 3 years ago
Weird. Never come across a plumber that worried about windows. Just tell them it's rented and not your responsibility.
Load More Replies... Rachel Adams 3 years ago
I once got told by a man that, as a girl (i'm 47!) i only liked Doctor Who because i must fancy David Tennant and thats the only reason girls watched it. I pointed out that i was probably watching Doctor Who before he was born and my favourite was actually Tom Baker
Miss Milinky 3 years ago
My Partner and I have very different tastes when it comes to food/drink. I like meaty steaks, an Old Fashioned or a pint of lager in the pub. He's a veggie burger/poached fish kinda guy and likes any cocktail that looks more like a chocolate milkshake. He likes a sticky sweet pudding. I like a cheese board. It's incredible how often our orders get delivered the wrong way around!
Ren Karlej 3 years ago
Not had any of this... if I'm the one buying they talk to me. Regardless of the product. The only time I have ever experienced anything remotely like this was in a town in France in 2005 when we were given the 'ladies' menus that come without the prices. Only the men had menus where they could see the costs. We hadn't seen that before so asked why and the staff were very friendly and explained to us.
Serbob 3 years ago
I see it all the time. We had a staff Xmas lunch at a restaurant. About a dozen people. I was head of the committee and had the cash. The whole time the waitress flirted (yes, flirted!) with the guy at the head or the table and ignored the ladies at the end. Her face totally dropped when she brought the check and I told her to bring it down to me.
tuzdayschild 3 years ago
This does not happen to me. I must have a "don't even think about it" look on my face.
Josy Bannon 3 years ago
Its sad those things still happen! I'm a little on the fence with the comments like: Ha I would have said...or I just would have done this and that..or your husband/boyfriend/+1 should have...because it might make women feel they didnt do enough, should have just been different. Whilst actually those men should have just not been so sexist in the first place. On the other hand I understand those fantasies to speak up, shut them down and so on but why dont we say: the (sexist) man should have said, Oh I am sorry, the car is for you? How can I help you? Or I am so sorry, whilst placing the bill in front of the woman. They SHOULD HAVE treated those women with respect. The women acted perfectly fine.
Stormapotamus 3 years ago
I had the car dealership thing happen to me last year. The guy kept talking to my husband even after he said "it's her car" so eventually I said that if he didn't start addressing me, I would go elsewhere. I got a really good deal after that.
BonnyDK 3 years ago
I live this everyday. To sell my home two years after I married, that I paid for 100% of before hand, the title company insisted he sign all the paperwork along with my signature. The house was 100% in my name only. Just a few months before it sold my husband was diagnosed with stage 3 brain cancer, terminal. He cannot fill out forms anymore. He has no short term memory as that is where the tumor was. I have a POA over medical and financial. I am his accommodations person at his work and his caregiver. I handle all the finances. Everyone from Doctors to his employers, to you name it wants to have detailed conversations with him only. I have been asked why I accompany him on his appointments. Well because he doesn't remember what you just said even 5 minutes from now. He looses conversations after a couple of sentences and can only follow one direction at a time. And yet they insist on directing the conversations to him. I get that he is their patient. But he won't remember anything.
Rukkia 3 years ago
With the medical part, I can explain that. We always treat our patients as our patients. Focus conversation t them, with them, and around them. A good provider will also include the POA in the conversation for reasons including memory, but do not want to treat our clients like they are not important. The other stuff, is just sexism.
Load More Replies... Rhea 3 years ago
For me it once happpened the other way around: Year ago I met a friend while shopping. One of his acquaintances was hospitalized and asked him to buy a bra for her. So I joined him to a lingerieshop. After he explained the sales lady what model (modest) and size (not comparable to me) he wanted, she showed him a few different models. After he picked one, the lady asked if I wanted to try it one. After I told her "No thanks, the bra isn't for me," she couldn't hide her astonishment. My friend payed for the bra and we barely could keep ourselves from laughing out loud before we exited the store. PS: We weren't offended. It's one of our fondest memories :) PPS: His family used to own a lingery store, that's why his acquaintance asked him to buy the bra :)
Lili 3 years ago
Bad customer service in most of those cases. Doubt that was the first time they lost a sale/customer cuz of sexism. Wonder why they still prioritized their sense of male superiority over cash?
Lili 3 years ago
I'm also confused as where to put the US in the gender equality scale. I'm from an Asian country, currently living in Western Europe, and in both places never experienced or encountered or even heard of such issues. Europe is fairly equal, although situations are worse in the south. My home country is new to the late feminism waves. Women are still expected to do house chores and take care of children (not true in younger generations and the society is changing fast). However women are traditionally the one managing budgets and making household decisions, so they are never taken lightly. The only area where women are perceived less capable than men is driving (I wouldn't deny, many wear heels while doing so).
Load More Replies... Sori 3 years ago
I LOVE showing off how much I know about paint, carpentry and basic construction when given the opportunity! As a skilled female in these areas, I impress Maintance people on the regular than follow up our conversation by asking what’s their best “life hack” or tip so that we continue learning from each other. Not sure if this is phrased correctly but, Sometimes it’s hard to be in such a male dominated field but remembering we have life knowledge to share helps?
Aunt Messy 3 years ago
The last time I bought a car, I was paying cash. My husband doesn't like driving, and traveled on business at the time. I was buying MY car. I went to a dealership that had a great service department that had always been good to me...and ended up waking out when the salesman didn't let me do a test drive, asked how I was financing it (I had told him I was paying IN FULL with a money order) and then asked to call my husband to see if I had "permission" to buy a car. ...///... I went to another dealer, he was awesome - ordered my car from the factory with all of the right options and made the whole sale as easy as it could be. ...///... Ladies, don't take this crap. I live in a big city. There are a LOT of car dealerships. If I don't like one, I move on.
Freya the Wanderer 3 years ago
Sadly, sexism is still alive and well in our society. Women have made a lot of gains, but we still have a long, long way to go. Our civilization is still patriarchal for the most part.
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
I tried to get compensation from the roadworks, who had left men at work signs out unweighted, and one smashed the back of my car and broke a light. The initial conversation was ok, they admitted fault, and told me they would contact me when they heard from their insurer (I had photos and videos etc). But I didn't hear back after several weeks, and I had my warrant of fitness coming up (6 monthly mandatory car check in which my broken taillight would make my car illegal to drive). I rang and emailed several times, kept getting the brush off, and hints that it wasn't their problem. My dad emailed them, and it was resolved immediately. I was taken aback as I had realised that they weren't fixing it due to who I was (younger, female), not because of normal red tape issues. I was glad dad could fix it, but honestly I'm a parent myself and I'm a competent adult, and it bugs me beyond belief that if I had testicles I would be listened to.
Dori Semenov 3 years ago (edited)
Happened to me. My husband and I both worked for (unnamed famous tech company). I was proudly wearing a logo baseball cap of said company while on a business trip. Someone asked me "Oh, does your HUSBAND work for ----" and I said, "Why yes he ALSO works for them". I thought that was rude and insulting.
Victoria Pitt 3 years ago (edited)
I was a manager at a manufacturing plant for 6 years, and definitely dealt with my fair share of these scenarios. I also was the manager and designer at a small print shop for a short time, ran into this crap all the time. But my most notable story was at my current job where I do technical support shifts over the phone. Got this one guy on the phone who must had assumed I was a receptionist, despite answering the phone as "technical support" and saying I could help him, mid conversation he stops and asks me "When do the men get back?" Like they were all at lunch or something.
Amy Gilbert 3 years ago
Bought a 2016 Ford Focus hatchback with the infamous PowerShift transmission. Brought the car in for service at the dealer multiple times. When I wasn't being repeatedly ignored as service managers helped contractor dudes with F250 trucks, I was told I did not understand how a transmission worked and/or I was not driving it correctly. I'll never forget the time I was given a printed handout that explained how to drive the car. Needless to say I now happily drive a Mazda.
Miguel justino C 3 years ago
I’m 6ft 1 and 230 pounds, my wife is always the brains. When this happens too her I am always quick to say “talk to her, she’s the team leader” Not sure if it’s my aggressiveness, they always immediately switch tactics! Suddenly she has respect and ignore me. My wife is awesome and I hate when people do this.
DDmaybeandor 3 years ago
I am a woman but I do all the "handy man" work at our house. My husband cooks, I fix things. I believe building supply stores are getting better training, but it's so frustrating to go. 75% of the time is a negative experience.
Lily Mae Kitty 3 years ago
I have dealt with this a lot in my life but now that I am older it's gotten a little better. I think it's b/c I am more assertive than my husband. I am the one who does all the research and makes most of the decisions about things we buy or do for our house. I work less hours and am here in the daytime more. I am pretty good at standing up for myself and making people understand it's me they need to deal with. And my hubs is good about deferring questions to me so they figure it out and stop asking him questions.
Mer☕️🧭☕️ 3 years ago
Sadly, I have my own recent (and ongoing) story. I need to be able to park in front of my front door. To do this, I'll have to have either concrete or gravel poured/spread from my driveway to slightly beyond said front door. To this day, of all the contractors I've contacted, only one has come out to look at the job and NONE of them have called back after the initial consultation but they sure do love talking on the phone... Had I been male, the job would have been completed months ago.
Abbyboudreaux 3 years ago
Regarding waiters/servers, a server friend of mine once told me part of their training was if there was a male/female couple, a male server should always address the male as much as possible and a female server should do likewise with the female customer. This was apparently to keep accusations of flirting down to a minimum because customers would routinely get angry thinking the server’s politeness was them hitting on their partner. Yikes.
Rukkia 3 years ago
I have had the opposite. Once had a waitress flirting so hard with my husband that he became uncomfortable, and would only take care of him at the table (I got my food and drink, but my order was wrong and she refused to even look at me while at the table). Check came, she hands it to him while keeping her body turned towards him. He laughs at her and hands the check to me, explaining to her that he is just the stay-at-home father. The look on her face and "OH" that came out of her, priceless. Neither of us appreciated her behavior or lack of attention to me. She did not get a tip. And just for anyone out there, my husband is an amazing stay-at-home father who makes life so much better, and I make enough to support us. He only degraded his efforts like that out of frustration.
Load More Replies... Alexis draskinis 3 years ago
Used to happen to a friend of mine a bunch. She worked in the tire dept at Costco. Granted she wasnt a mechanic or anything BUT they train you well to work in their depts. She kept getting sidelined by a guy trying to pick out tires. He kept asking her trainee what he should get, etc. The kid literally said to him "you should ask her. Its like my 3rd day & shes still training me"
DDmaybeandor 3 years ago
My mom ran an upholstery business and I worked with her in the 90's. Is answer calls ALL THE TIME asking for "The man in charge". I mean, sales calls like this several times a day. It's a male dominated industry, but not THAT much.
Ginger Winters 5 months ago
Biggest one I ever had happen. I took hubby out for dinner and the waitress kept ignoring me even when I needed a refill and my husband asked for it I still didn't get a refill. Finally when I paid(and didn't tip for obvious reasons) she gave my card back to my husband instead of me and then started badmouthing us not tipping while we were still in the restaurant. Management got involved after my husband started yelling at her sexist behavior. Also doesn't help that she kept flirting with him when he said I'm trying to enjoy dinner with my wife.
Patricia 2 years ago
My daughter and her husband bought a fixer-upper house and went for a bank loan. The loans officer kept talking to my SIL about the renovations that would be done, SIL said "She's the one that will be doing them." Loans officer kept on talking about what SIL was doing at the house until my daughter got mad and told him off. "He wasn't kidding. I'm doing it. I have my own tools and I know how to use them."
Destiney Haddox 3 years ago
This happens to me sooo much. As a woman who owns a business, I run into it a lot. My husband is also my business partner but he is the artist and I'm the one who makes big decisions. We have come to an agreement that we both thrive in our roles but men still talk to him and ignore me. He's awesome though and will just say, "She's the one you want to talk to, I don't make these decisions" and walk away. Sad that he has to basically give them permission to talk to me but this is after I have already stated that I'm the contact and they ignore me anyway. Rare that he has to do it but I appreciate that he does so. We need more men like him: true allies of equality!
Kaitlyn 3 years ago
Its so sad that this happens so often that I don't even consider it odd any more...I went to several stores with my stepdad looking for countertops for him and my mom, I would introduce myself and mention that I'm an ARCHITECT I know what counter tops are and every single male salesperson would ignore me completely, only look at my dad, not acknowledge my advice. ALL of the info was going through me, he just wanted to look at colors. Shopping for a fridge with my bf, I did ALL the research, I know the dimensions we need, he literally only cared about the finish, they only talk to him. Sometimes I like to take advantage of it so I can leave the transaction and go sit down lol. I wish I was bold enough to confront people - kinda wanna go car shopping just to test it out
Cat's Meow 3 years ago
I had a Pontiac Grand Pre. The motor that was replaced with a different motor than stock. At the time, it had a broken belt among other things. My husband & a mechanic friend were elbow deep in the engine & asked me to pick up the belts. The writing was worn off due to wear, so hubby handed me the broken belt & asked me to get one as close as possible. I went to the auto parts store where the mechanic friend worked. The "man" behind the counter insisted on looking up the belt model via the make/model of the car. I explained to him that the motor did not come with the car. We went over this multiple times. The belt he insisted on selling me was the wrong size. I even took it home and showed my husband. When I came back to get the right size, he became belligerent with me and said that my husband should never have sent a woman to do a man's job. I told my husband. After a "friendly" visit with hubby & mechanic friend, the "man" was fired.
Cat's Meow 3 years ago
Have had multiple experiences like these over the years! I had told my husband multiple times that one of our friends was the typical sexist, that he never listened to anything women say. My husband didn't agree. One evening, my husband and I had some friends over to play cards. This particular friend was among the group. I can't remember the exact details because it was so many years ago. A friend was having an issue with whatever. When I made a suggestion that would solve the issue, I was ignored and felt as if I hadn't spoken at all. I glanced at my husband with the "I told you so" look. Within the hour, my husband made the same suggestion and was immediately acknowledged. The friend though my husband's idea was great.
Amy Broderick 3 years ago
I used to play golf with my boyfriend (now ex) a lot. Most of the time we'd get paired up with another random pair of people. I would usually walk up to my tee box after introductions and get ready to play in a timely manner. I nearly always got this vibe of 'oh just great we have to play with a chick'. I always ignored it cause the satisfaction of watching their faces when I would outdrive them was precious to me.
Alexis D. 3 years ago
I have two, both with my dad (I'm an only, female, child) went to a bar with my dad, just him and me, and we both ordered margaritas. the (male) bartender was heavy handed with my dad's drink (we both watched) and talked to my dad the whole time, chatting him up as we drank. he put the tab in front of my dad and I took it, smiled and paid the bill. the bartender looked a bit sheepish. I went to buy a car and my dad went with me. the finance guy talked to my dad. he told the guy I'd be paying for it then started asking me if I "needed to talk to daddy" or "what does daddy think?" as we were sitting there together. SO uncomfortable.
RaroaRaroa 3 years ago
Do we have a load of bots on here today? All these replies with the commentors name then "like" or "haha" or "?" or "+" after them. What's going on?
RaroaRaroa 3 years ago
Thankfully I've not had this experience for about 25 years here in New Zealand. Some countries clearly have a lot of catching up to do.
Mosritheel 3 years ago
Managed my parents restaurant for 12 years and was responsible for recommending the CV’s of potential employees who came in. My colleague Tom helped me manage the place but wasn’t in charge (great employee and family friend). One day this guy comes in with his CV asking for the manager to talk to. I look up from cleaning a table to greet him. Restaurant is long and narrow. He completely ignored me and walked up to Tom who was at the back by the kitchen, rolling cutlery. Speaks to Tom, who is trying to refer the guy to me, confusedly. The guy speaks his piece and leaves. He was so rude I just threw his CV in the bin. Another time with Tom, this local guy comes in wanting to offer his services as business advisor with his new startup company. To be fair, he knew Tom somehow. Unfortunately, Tom wasn’t in charge. He wasted 30 minutes talking to Tom over the counter while Tom kept saying “this isn’t my business, you need to speak to the family” while I ran the tables. Guy lost out.
SirPatTheCat 3 years ago
Y'all can stop saying "Why did they even work with that person" "I wouldn"t have even bought it" on every single one. We get it. Not everyone has the time or money to make a political statement every time they experience sexism. If the person selling me a decent tv for really cheap I'm not giving it up and driving across town to a different store just because they're being an ass.
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