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“Betrayal Of Vows”: Woman Ask For Divorce After Husband’s Unhinged Ask
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“Betrayal Of Vows”: Woman Ask For Divorce After Husband’s Unhinged Ask

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There is no one right way to “do” relationships or marriage. Some people might find themselves in a long-distance relationship, some are monogamous, some are polygamous, and some choose to keep their relationships platonic altogether. Bottom line is – as long as everyone involved is happy with the arrangement, there’s no wrong way to do it.

Unfortunately, this redditor wasn’t too happy with her husband when he said he wanted change in their relationship. After being married for four years, he asked for an open marriage, but the woman didn’t feel comfortable with it, and went in a different direction instead.

Scroll down to find the full story below, where you will also find Bored Panda’s interview with Dr. Janet Bennion, professor of sociocultural anthropology at Northern Vermont University and an expert in polygamy, who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions.

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    There is no one right way to “do” relationships

    Image credits: Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

    This couple was married for four years before the husband asked for an open marriage

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    Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: Flat_Ad_7911

    “We are conditioned to believe that monogamy is the best and most efficacious marital plan,” an expert says

    As of last year, there were over 62 million married couples in the US alone. Each year, millions of people say “I do,” usually vowing to love their significant other until the end of their lives. Less common, though, is a polygamous marriage, which means vowing eternal love to more than one person at a time.

    According to the Pew Research Center, only roughly 2% of the global population lives in polygamous households; in the vast majority of countries, the share is less than 0.5%. Criminalized in the US back in the 1880s, having a spouse-like relationship with more than one person in the same household is no longer a punishable crime; however, in the US, the share of polygamous households nowadays also stands at less than 0.5%.

    A survey carried out by YouGov took a deeper look at people’s views on having multiple partners at once. It found that while more than half (55%) of American adults consider themselves completely monogamous, roughly a quarter believe there should be some wiggle room: asked to rank their ideal relationship from 0 (completely monogamous) to 6 (completely non-monogamous), 26% of respondents said it ideally would be somewhere between 1-5.

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    “We are conditioned to believe that monogamy is the best and most efficacious marital plan; but it simply does not fit everyone’s needs or relationship paradigm,” emphasized Dr. Janet Bennion of Northern Vermont University in a recent interview with Bored Panda. “It was invented by men in patrilineal agricultural societies to control resources and reproduction. Hunters-gatherers never used such a constraining system. Monogamy is also associated with serious problems; it is not the sunny formula people make it out to be.”

    The expert continued to point out that, in order for any relationship to work, it is vital that both people agree to a fully consensual arrangement. What is also crucial is honest and open communication.

    For those looking to give an open relationship a chance, one of the most important elements for it to work, according to Dr. Bennion, is “The willingness for the poly partner to help the monogamy partner realize that they also have freedom to explore and make bonds with others. Don’t cheat; be clear about what is happening and continue loving the persons involved.”

    For an open relationship to work, both partners have to be on the same page

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    Image credits: Lia Bekyan / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

    The aforementioned YouGov survey also found that many people have stepped out of the bounds of total monogamy, with or without the knowledge of their partner: one in eight Americans admitted having engaged in sexual activity with a person other than their primary partner but with their knowledge, and one in five said they did that without their primary partner knowing.

    Such statistics show that, even when in a relationship, people might want to engage in some sort of a relationship with someone else. Consequently, some people opt for a polygamous relationship and have several partners, while others choose an open relationship, which usually means that they have one primary partner, but are open to making connections or engaging in sexual activities with other people, too.

    “For an open relationship to work, both parties must not only accept but encourage their partners to have new sexual experiences with others,” a published writer, speaker, and host of The Angry Therapist Podcast, John Kim, suggested in his piece for Psychology Today. “Of course, you don’t need to know the details but you have to get to a place where you want your partner to explore their sexuality with others. You want them to have these experiences. For them. This is not something many people have the ability to give their partner.”

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    The OP shared that she couldn’t give her husband the open marriage he wanted. She had always considered herself monogamous and felt like opening up their relationship would betray the vows the couple gave each other on their wedding day four years prior. The woman decided to opt for a divorce instead, and fellow redditors supported her decision; though, some believed she rushed into ending things too quickly.

    The woman shared more details in the comments

    Fellow netizens didn’t think she was a jerk for the way she reacted to her husband’s request

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    Some, however, believed the woman rushed into divorce too abruptly

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    Miglė Miliūtė

    Miglė Miliūtė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    A writer here at Bored Panda, I am a lover of good music, good food, and good company, which makes food-related topics and feel-good stories my favorite ones to cover. Passionate about traveling and concerts, I constantly seek occasions to visit places yet personally unexplored. I also enjoy spending free time outdoors, trying out different sports—even if I don’t look too graceful at it—or socializing over a cup of coffee.

    Read less »
    Miglė Miliūtė

    Miglė Miliūtė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    A writer here at Bored Panda, I am a lover of good music, good food, and good company, which makes food-related topics and feel-good stories my favorite ones to cover. Passionate about traveling and concerts, I constantly seek occasions to visit places yet personally unexplored. I also enjoy spending free time outdoors, trying out different sports—even if I don’t look too graceful at it—or socializing over a cup of coffee.

    Mantas Kačerauskas

    Mantas Kačerauskas

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, I indulge in the joy of curating delightful content, from adorable pet photos to hilarious memes, all while nurturing my wanderlust and continuously seeking new adventures and interests—sometimes thrilling, sometimes daunting, but always exciting!

    Read less »

    Mantas Kačerauskas

    Mantas Kačerauskas

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, I indulge in the joy of curating delightful content, from adorable pet photos to hilarious memes, all while nurturing my wanderlust and continuously seeking new adventures and interests—sometimes thrilling, sometimes daunting, but always exciting!

    What do you think ?
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    Libstak
    Community Member
    1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Those who say she is ta because she ended it just because he asked and not because he was doing it are deluded. He already pointed out he would come to resent her for not letting him explore this idea. It was over at that point.

    The Other Guest
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yup, she didn't leave because he asked. She left because he asked repeatedly, tried to guilt trip her, and blamed her in advance for any future issues they may have; not to mention the hurt & trust-breaking involved. As Sarah Matsoukis mentioned earlier in the comments, he's either already cheating or has someone on his radar.

    Load More Replies...
    Sarah Matsoukis
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's no compromise. When someone doesn't stop bringing it up they already cheated or there is a certain person they want to f**k.

    Donkey boi
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So many of the men that want an open relationship soon change their minds when they see how much action their partner can get compared to themselves.

    Load More Comments
    Libstak
    Community Member
    1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Those who say she is ta because she ended it just because he asked and not because he was doing it are deluded. He already pointed out he would come to resent her for not letting him explore this idea. It was over at that point.

    The Other Guest
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yup, she didn't leave because he asked. She left because he asked repeatedly, tried to guilt trip her, and blamed her in advance for any future issues they may have; not to mention the hurt & trust-breaking involved. As Sarah Matsoukis mentioned earlier in the comments, he's either already cheating or has someone on his radar.

    Load More Replies...
    Sarah Matsoukis
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's no compromise. When someone doesn't stop bringing it up they already cheated or there is a certain person they want to f**k.

    Donkey boi
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So many of the men that want an open relationship soon change their minds when they see how much action their partner can get compared to themselves.

    Load More Comments
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