So he has to "compromise" but she doesn't? Okay, got it.

I absolutely cannot stand Disney venues BUT many people love them because they are safe, stable and they NEVER CHANGE! For many people, they are truly a safe haven and the comfort that the parks and hotels provide are worth the price. While they seem mundane and boring to some of us, they provide stability and peace to others. I won’t dis Disney people if that’s what they love. She may not even know why she loves Disney so much but the parks obviously provide something lovely to her.

A “compromise” is her making Hawaii plans without saying anything? These people are like one extreme to the other. I hope they communicate successfully in more critical areas of life. Edit: this is a fully plausible scenario but I truly think this was guerilla marketing for that resort.

A compromise is something two people work out mutually and agree on in advance of its implementation. That is not what happened here.

It's creepy. Why would she go to Disney over and over. What a limited person she must be.

I couldn't be paid enough to go to a place I hate, owned by a company I hate, in a city I hate.

What a selfish and childish spouse! Compromise, pfft. OP is 1000% NTA. His wife is an absolute AH. Edited to add that I didn't read the responses (fly-by) or his update till I read some of the responses on BP. Maaaan, she wears his b*alls as earrings. Sad to read that he grovelled. This is not a partnership marriage.

Anyone who NEEDS more than a SINGLE trip to Disney has mental health issues!!!!!

I dated a grown man (37 at the time) who would only go to Disney parks and stay at Disney resorts (went nearly every weekend). Every.Single.Vacation. He even spent $29,000 for the Disney Vacation Club. I couldn't do it, once was enough.

I hope OP realizes she won in the end - she got Disney & I wouldn't be surprised if she isn't interested in any of the non-Disney activities. She did not make this half-as$ed compromise when OP suggested it, so not made in consideration of him - she made it only after her sister said Aulani was beautiful. I have never had any interest whatsoever in going to any Disney park but would really like to know what it is that attracts the wife - what need it's filling or satisfying. To have put up with going the same place for 10 years is absurd, especially since OP says he's "sick of it." For those who said he was at fault for putting the entire decision/planning on the wife. That's BS. Op asked her if she was willing to go anywhere other than Disney for their trip & she said no. So, what would be the point of his taking over the planning & arrangements? She's said she's not willing to go anywhere than Disney - & that's exactly what they're doing - just in another state.

You'll never get all the way out of the mousetrap, run.

Try Greece. There's great wine, amazing food, and most people also have ears. So I heard...

Nine holidays to Disney. This is what nightmares are made of. Stuck in some Disney hell on repeat, no thank you.

If this was about anime people would have been more on his side. For that one person: the reason people don't like Disney adults is that they're obnoxious and self centered about their interest in Disney. No one will care if you just like their stuff and have a Stitch blanket or something. Or even if you binge Disney movies. People only start to care when your entire personality becomes how much you love Disney and refuse to do anything that isn't in some way connected to Disney. Or refuse to not have Disney merch or inspired outfits on. Not even hardcore anime fans are typically this bad, and tend to be more accommodating to other people's interest.

I know OP will never see this but if he ever wants to try to sort of ease her out of the Disney, they could try the Atlantis resort in the Bahamas. No Disney affiliation but fun attractions for her and spas and casinos for him. It could serve as a good transitional experience and maybe open her up to letting go of Disney more fully.

I love Disneyland Paris. I went a lot of time during my life, especially in my early twenties when I lived 4h away and the 1 day ticket was 25€. But I also love road trips and seeing the world. If you can go outside, just go. And keep a little Disney trip every 2 or 3 years. It's nice too.

As a somewhat "former" Disney adult, who happens to live near Disneyland, I think I have some insight about the wife's Disney obsession. I used to go to the House of Mouse quite often when I felt stressed and needed to get away from reality. My husband hated it and stopped going with me after a few years. I think the wife is just wanting something she knows she can count on to make her happy. Something familiar and relatively consistent so she knows what she can look forward to. Planning a trip to somewhere unfamiliar can be stressful and you worry that you are making the best use of your time. Luckily, I learned to step out of my comfort zone and have been better off for it. Hopefully, the wife in this story will find happiness in doing new things and seeing new sights. (The downside of all of this is now I'm hungry for a Disney corn dog and some Dole Whip)

A true ESH post.

I'll run through fire into a mine field to get away from any Disney park. I've SO paid my dues w/ 5 kids- as soon as they were old enough to go by themselves I was out. Waiting 2-3 hrs for one ride, $100 bucks for burgers & fries, crowds so dense you couldn't fall down if you wanted to... God Bless you Diznuts, but I just don't get it😶

When grown ups ruled the world, Disneyland was only for kids.

I'd tell the overgrown child/bully that next year we're taking a tour of Italy for our vacation. It's MY TURN you obnoxious, umm never mind, I can't say that on this website.

What an awful notion. As it’s not an overcrowded, overpriced nightmare anyway, to be subject to the same saccharin commercialised c**p year on year. Jesus… there’s a world out there that’s worth exploring.

Ko Olina is amazing though… I’m not sure how over the top Disney the resort is but I walked past it every day when I was there and it looked hella luxe!!

Did I get that right? They have no kids? Why are they going to a kids park every year? I heard that it's quite expensive, also. Since I have no kids, I haven't seen an animated Disney Movie for at least 25 years and I don't think that I have missed something.