It’s no secret that parenthood is an adventure that requires a lot of planning. Many soon-to-be moms and dads read countless books on “what to expect when you’re expecting” that offer advice and prepare them for the miracle of pregnancy. However, some things there do get left out. Like how to react when your SO completely disregards your wishes on how you want to deliver your child.

One woman who was trying to get pregnant found herself in a precarious situation after discussing childbirth options with her husband. In a post on the online parenting forum Mumsnet, the woman explained how she and her partner got into a big argument after telling him she prefers to have a water birth.

“He believes that the more pain you go through, the better your bond with your baby,” the author wrote. Thinking that the decision on where and how she should give birth is her choice, the woman felt surprised by her husband’s strong opinion and turned to the internet for guidance. Read on for the full story.

A woman shared her story on how her husband told her he would never forgive her if she has a water birth

Image credits: Sharon McCutcheon (not the actual photo)

She wonders whether she was being “unreasonable” to think that the way she delivers her child is her decision

Image credits: soshnomore

Marley Hall, a midwife, Instagram content creator, and author of Midwife Marley’s Guide For Everyone: Pregnancy, Birth and the 4th Trimester, told Bored Panda that there are many benefits of delivering a child via water birth.

“It may help to speed up labor (often because of the positioning of the mother) and relieve tension and pain,” she said. In the water, your body feels lighter and you can move more freely. Also, babies are usually calmer due to the gentle transition into the water.

Hall mentioned that according to research, water birth “can reduce the risk of significant (3rd and 4th degree) perineal tearing”. Also, studies have revealed “a reduction in meconium (baby’s first poo) in the amniotic fluid of mothers who have waterbirths.” Lastly, there are lower rates of emergency caesareans.

“I have helped around 700 babies into the world and a good portion of these have been via water birth,” she told us.

When it comes to the situation described in the post on Mumsnet, Marley Hall thinks that the husband’s reaction is probably coming from a place of fear and lack of understanding/research. “His assumption that more pain = better bonding is just not true at all,” she explained.

“His comment about ‘normal birth on land’ working for many years fails to recognize that women are all different, they have different experiences, wants, and needs. Perhaps he has a genuine fear of water birth but if that is the case, I would advise him to do some research on the facts and perhaps listen to some of the stories of couples who have had positive water births.”

Hall explained that ultimately the last word does lay with the person giving birth in terms of where and how they want to do it, and the woman deserves to be listened to. If her partner “has any genuine reasons for concern or fears over the health of the mother or baby giving birth in the water, perhaps visiting some evidence-based sources would help to put his mind at rest.”

She continued: “The husband should also realize that when a woman gives birth in an environment that is ideal for her, she is likely to be calmer, making complications less likely which will also have an impact on the baby.”

“During a water birth, the mother and baby are monitored closely so if there are any signs of things becoming complicated, the midwife will simply help her out of the water for further support/interventions if needed,” Hall added. So try to seek out positive water birth stories and do your research. And “if your partner is worried, talk them through together, referring to what the evidence says.”

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