There’s nothing better than coming home at the end of a long day and finally getting to sit down with your partner, enjoy a delicious meal and spend some quality time together. But there’s nothing worse than feeling hungry and unsatisfied after dinner and lying awake at night while your stomach grumbles.

So when one man realized that his wife would never be making enough food for him to feel full in the evening, he started eating two dinners. But his wife was not thrilled when she found out about this habit. Below, you’ll find the full story that he recently shared on Reddit, as well as responses concerned readers left him.

This man has spent the first 5 months of his marriage feeling hungry after every dinner

Image credits: Thirdman (not the actual photo)

So when his wife refused to prepare larger meals, he started eating before coming home

Image credits: Alex Green (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Jonathan Cooper (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Acceptable_Love_6237

Later, the man noted that he already tried eating larger lunches

It’s common for partners to have different dietary preferences

When in a relationship, especially a marriage, there are always going to be things couples have to compromise on. They might not have the same preferred bedtime, idea of what a “clean house” is or idea of what a relaxing weekend is. But it’s totally normal to have different preferences, as long as a middle ground can be reached that keeps both parties happy. This is particularly true when it comes to food. One spouse might enjoy eating meat at every meal, while the other might be working their way towards a plant based diet. One might have a food allergy, while the other might be disgusted with onions. Differing dietary preferences does not mean a relationship is doomed, though. According to the House of Wellness, there are steps couples can take to ensure that their appetite for their relationship doesn’t sour, even if they don’t always eat the same way.

First, it’s important to accept that there is no “best” way of eating and to respect your partner for their food preferences. Don’t belittle them or make fun of them for refusing to eat tomatoes, and don’t pressure them to stop eating dairy if they don’t care about the cows. And don’t expect them to suddenly adopt your diet when you move in together. We all have reasons for why we choose to eat the ways that we do, whether it’s for ethics, food intolerances or convenience or taste preferences, so it’s important to love and understand where our partner is coming from. Relationship coach Louanne Ward recommends agreeing with your partner to come together and share meals, even if you have to tweak them to suit each other’s preferences. “The ritual and importance aren’t in what is eaten, it is in the act of sharing the pleasure,” Ward says.

Image credits: SHVETS production (not the actual photo)

But when one spouse is struggling with disordered eating, it affects the entire relationship

Some of the readers of this post expressed concern in the replies that the man’s wife may be suffering from an eating disorder. While we can only speculate on this woman’s eating, it is unfortunately a fact that eating disorders affect at least 9% of the population worldwide. And while this woman may not have a diagnosable eating disorder, she may still be prone to disordered eating habits, usually encouraged by toxic diet culture. Disordered eating might present itself as skipping meals, following strict food rules, avoiding food groups, feeling guilt or anxiety before or after eating, choosing to eat only “clean” or “safe” foods, participating in fad diets, tracking food or calories obsessively and weighing yourself or checking body measurements often.

Helping a partner or spouse who is battling an eating disorder or disordered eating habits can be challenging, as food is often a sensitive topic for those struggling. Eating disorders can negatively impact a relationship’s communication, emotional health, sexual intimacy and more. So according to Veritas Collaborative, it’s important to educate yourself about eating disorders if your partner seems to be struggling. Never make any comments about their appearance, even if you think you’re giving them a compliment, and never comment on how much or what they’re eating. Avoid trying to “fix” their behavior, and don’t police them. The best thing you can do is set a positive example for them and show them that food isn’t scary. Shower your partner with love and support, and remember to take care of your own mental and physical health as well.

Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)

It’s never healthy for one partner to control the other, in any aspect of their lives

Concerned readers of this specific story were worried about the wife controlling her husband as well. Some remarked that she was abusing him by starving him and controlling his behavior, noting that the situation would be taken extremely seriously if a man was restricting his wife from eating enough. Controlling behavior in a relationship is never healthy, so it’s important to be able to spot the signs and seek help when necessary. According to Nicole Arzt, LMFT at Choosing Therapy, some signs of a controlling spouse are someone who can’t accept criticism, is close-minded, always makes their partner feel like they’re wrong, doesn’t respect boundaries, and controls their partner’s appearance.

It’s concerning that even after the issue was brought up, this man’s wife wasn’t worried about him starving or losing weight. He never demanded that she eat more food; he just wants his body to be properly fueled, as men typically need at least 500 more calories than women per day. Keeping secrets from our partners can also quickly become unhealthy, even if it’s something as harmless as grabbing extra food before getting home. We would love to hear your thoughts on this topic in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this man did anything wrong by “pregaming” his wife’s dinners? Feel free to share, and then if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article discussing a similar topic, we recommend reading this one next.

Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)

Concerned readers assured the man that he did nothing wrong, while some wondered if his wife may have an eating disorder

Some even suspected that the man was secretly put on a diet

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