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Wife Demands Her Husband Revoke Their Prenup Two Years Into Marriage, He Refuses
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Wife Demands Her Husband Revoke Their Prenup Two Years Into Marriage, He Refuses

Interview With Expert
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When getting married to the love of your life, the last thing you want to imagine is that one day, the two of you might not be together anymore. But the reality is, it’s wise to consider all of the possibilities for your future. Life is unpredictable, so many couples agree to sign prenups before tying the knot. It’s just a precaution, because if you’ll be together forever, it won’t matter anyway!

But one woman who’s been married for a couple of years has recently been having second thoughts about the agreement she signed before marriage. Below, you’ll find the full story that her husband shared on Reddit, as well as a conversation with Julia Rodgers, Esq., CEO of HelloPrenup.

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    This man was only comfortable getting married if he had a prenup in place ahead of time

    Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual photo)

    But now his wife of two years is having second thoughts about the agreement that they signed

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    Image credits: Kristina Paukshtite (not the actual photo)

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    Image source: Own_Feature8030

    Later, the OP clarified a few more details about his situation

    “Over the years, the financial landscape of a couple can change dramatically”

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    Image credits: wirestock (not the actual photo)

    To gain more insight on this situation, we reached out to Julia Rodgers, Esq., CEO of HelloPrenup, who was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda. Julia says it’s definitely not unheard of for couples to want to make adjustments to their prenup years after it was created.

    “One common reason is the evolution of financial circumstances. Over the years, the financial landscape of a couple can change dramatically,” the expert explained. “This could be due to a surge in income, inheritance, the acquisition of substantial assets, having children, or even financial downturns. Such changes might prompt a reassessment of the prenup to ensure it remains fair and relevant to the current financial situation of both partners. A good prenup will have already addressed many of these scenarios.”

    Julia says the most common factor is a change in family structure and dynamics, including the birth of children. “The original prenup might not have accounted for these changes, leading couples to seek adjustments to better reflect their current family structure and ensure adequate provisions for their children,” she noted. “Again, a well drafted prenup will likely have taken many of these possibilities into account.”

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    And while the expert says amending or changing a prenup after a couple is already married is possible, it may require specific considerations. “First and foremost, both parties must mutually agree to any amendments or changes. A prenup is a private contract, and like any contract, modifications must be agreed upon,” Julia explained. “The process typically starts with open communication between the spouses about their desires and concerns. They should discuss why they feel a change is necessary and what specific amendments they want to make.”

    Most states do allow couples to modify their prenuptial agreement after marriage, but Julia says this process hinges on the mutual agreement of both parties involved and adherence to specific state requirements. “Typically, the same legal formalities and substantive criteria that applied to the original prenup must be met for any amendments,” she noted. “These include ensuring terms are not unconscionable and getting signatures notarized.”

    “There are a few modifications that can be made to the prenup to help resolve this issue without revoking the prenup entirely”

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    Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)

    “It’s important to note that the amended prenup must still comply with state laws and cannot include any provisions that are illegal or against public policy,” Julia added. “For example, issues related to child support and custody of unborn children cannot be predetermined in a prenup, as these matters are subject to the court’s discretion based on the child’s best interests at the time of the divorce or separation.”

    For this specific scenario, Julia says, “It is likely [the wife] has not been offered more creative solutions that could greatly benefit her and allow her to feel more secure financially. That is where a prenup modification comes in.”

    In some states, amending a prenup may require revoking the original agreement and drafting a new document, often referred to as a “postnuptial agreement” or “postnup,” Julia told Bored Panda. “Postnups are increasingly popular among married couples who want to align on their assets and debt. A postnuptial agreement can supersede an existing prenuptial agreement. This is particularly useful if there have been significant changes in your and your spouse’s circumstances or wishes since the signing of the prenup,” the expert explained.

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    Julia also shared some advice for this particular couple. “It’s important to recognize that feelings of financial insecurity can be significant, especially when there is a disparity in wealth between you and your wife, and she is now no longer earning money,” she says. “Demonstrating empathy and understanding towards your wife’s perspective can play a crucial role in resolving the tensions and building a stronger foundation for your relationship. There are a few modifications that can be made to the prenup to help resolve this issue without revoking the prenup entirely.”

    One possible solution that Julia recommends is a Lump Sum Payment or Equalization Clause. “Where there is a significant disparity in wealth and income between the spouses, an equalization clause (aka Lump Sum Payment Clause) in a prenuptial agreement can be particularly beneficial to balance the financial playing field,” she explained. “This clause can be added in a modification to the prenup or in the form of a postnup (depending on your state), and can require payments to be made from the monied spouse to the non-earning (or lesser-earning spouse) during intervals during the marriage, or in the event of divorce.”

    Julia says this clause can offer several key advantages. “Firstly, it fosters a sense of wealth equalization. The less financially endowed spouse, who may have sacrificed their career, is entitled to a predetermined sum, helping to address any financial imbalance that arises from their career choice. This is crucial in ensuring that both partners feel financially secure and on equal footing,” she told Bored Panda.

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    “An equalization clause offers peace of mind by ensuring that the non-earning spouse is not left without financial support”

    Image credits: Annika Wischnewsky (not the actual photo)

    “Additionally, when one partner possesses substantially more wealth, it can inadvertently lead to uneven power dynamics, especially if the other partner is not working,” Julia continued. “The wealthier partner may exercise more control, either intentionally or not. An equalization clause helps to counteract this by ensuring that both partners maintain equal financial standing in the relationship, thereby balancing the power dynamics.”

    An Equalization Clause can also provide a vital safety net for those who have given up their career to raise their children. “The risk of financial vulnerability in the event of a divorce can be a significant concern, especially with a child,” Julia noted. “An equalization clause offers peace of mind by ensuring that the non-earning spouse is not left without financial support, making it a critical component for protecting the interests of a partner who has made substantial personal sacrifices for the betterment of the family unit.”

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    Another potential option for this couple would be a Sunset Clause, which sets an expiration date for the prenup. “The concept of an expiration date can be particularly relevant for parents,” Julia says. “For example, consider a scenario where a couple has been married for fifteen years (the specific duration of marriage for a sunset clause is a mutual decision).”

    “The couple may recognize that, by fifteen years, their lives and values have evolved. They’ve built a family, shared experiences, and assets, and may feel that their commitment to each other is best reflected by allowing the prenup to expire at that wedding anniversary. This means that after the agreed-upon period, say fifteen years, the prenup would be considered void,” the expert explained.

    We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Did you sign a prenup, or would you ever consider signing one before getting married? Feel free to share, and then if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article discussing a similar conflict between a couple, look no further than right here.

    Readers shared suggestions of how the couple might be able to resolve this issue, and many urged the man to be more compassionate towards his wife

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    Some readers even called the husband out for being more concerned about himself than his family

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    Adelaide Ross

    Adelaide Ross

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about two years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

    Read less »
    Adelaide Ross

    Adelaide Ross

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about two years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

    Kotryna Br

    Kotryna Br

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Kotryna is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Graphic Design. Before Bored Panda, she worked as a freelance graphic designer and illiustrator. When not editing, she enjoys working with clay, drawing, playing board games and drinking good tea.

    Read less »

    Kotryna Br

    Kotryna Br

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Kotryna is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Graphic Design. Before Bored Panda, she worked as a freelance graphic designer and illiustrator. When not editing, she enjoys working with clay, drawing, playing board games and drinking good tea.

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    R Dennis
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So he marries someone with less money, then when she has his kid and gives up her job, she is now completely dependent on his happiness or she loses everything. What a s****y power dynamic to create.

    JK
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You should read his replies on the comments on Reddit - the guy is a MAJOR AH and definitely using it all as a power play, you should see one comment where he makes out it was HER choice to have the baby as she "could of had an abortion, or maybe adopted, or used a surrogate" - guy gives off huge ick vibes

    Load More Replies...
    Marcellus II
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kind of obvious his lawyer wrote it and she didn't have a lawyer. "I spoke to my lawyer and legally I'm in the clear" --- yeah, duh. Morally not so much.

    Ima Manimal
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    The moral thing here is protecting your assets before getting into a situation where you can be taken advantage of. She agreed, and he agreed before the wedding. Her decisions after the wedding have no bearing on the prenuptial agreement. She does sound like a total gold digger.

    Load More Replies...
    UpupaEpops
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is it even a prenup if she didn't go into the discussion with her own lawyer and/or didn't have input? It sounds to me that OP made her sign a contract that isn't in her best interest... I feel like he *is* holding her background and social status against her and has little empathy towards his wife. In my imagination, if my spouse were to raise an issue with the prenup, I would be talking to my lawyer to verify that it does actually protect the other party as well as my assets. Not to check that I won't have to pay alimony.

    madbakes
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Her negotiating the prenup is what determines my NTA/YTA vote. If she had a good lawyer to work with his lawyer negotiating, then I'd say NTA. Since the income disparity was clear before marriage, I'm guessing this is not the case.

    Load More Replies...
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    R Dennis
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So he marries someone with less money, then when she has his kid and gives up her job, she is now completely dependent on his happiness or she loses everything. What a s****y power dynamic to create.

    JK
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You should read his replies on the comments on Reddit - the guy is a MAJOR AH and definitely using it all as a power play, you should see one comment where he makes out it was HER choice to have the baby as she "could of had an abortion, or maybe adopted, or used a surrogate" - guy gives off huge ick vibes

    Load More Replies...
    Marcellus II
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kind of obvious his lawyer wrote it and she didn't have a lawyer. "I spoke to my lawyer and legally I'm in the clear" --- yeah, duh. Morally not so much.

    Ima Manimal
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    The moral thing here is protecting your assets before getting into a situation where you can be taken advantage of. She agreed, and he agreed before the wedding. Her decisions after the wedding have no bearing on the prenuptial agreement. She does sound like a total gold digger.

    Load More Replies...
    UpupaEpops
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is it even a prenup if she didn't go into the discussion with her own lawyer and/or didn't have input? It sounds to me that OP made her sign a contract that isn't in her best interest... I feel like he *is* holding her background and social status against her and has little empathy towards his wife. In my imagination, if my spouse were to raise an issue with the prenup, I would be talking to my lawyer to verify that it does actually protect the other party as well as my assets. Not to check that I won't have to pay alimony.

    madbakes
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Her negotiating the prenup is what determines my NTA/YTA vote. If she had a good lawyer to work with his lawyer negotiating, then I'd say NTA. Since the income disparity was clear before marriage, I'm guessing this is not the case.

    Load More Replies...
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