Those last few weeks in university can be grueling. Cramming all night for exams, downing coffee and energy drinks like they’re water and just trying to stay afloat. Most students have to put their personal lives on the backburner during that time, because the priority becomes getting through all of the tests. Worries about having a social life can come after the degree is in your hand. Unfortunately for one woman, her husband seemed to forget that the hectic schedule of exam season is only temporary.

This woman, CharlieOutlaw23 on Reddit, recently explained how her husband sabotaged her the night before an important exam by changing her alarm. She wanted to get some outside opinions on whether or not she did anything wrong in the situation, so below, you can read the full story and decide for yourself. Then if you’re interested in another Bored Panda piece about drama between spouses, check out this story next. 

One woman recently shared the story of how her husband sabotaged her the morning of a big exam

Image credits: javier trueba (Not the actual photo)

The husband said that he changed the alarm to get back at his wife for the night before

Image credits: Fa Barboza (Not the actual photo)

Image credits: CharlieOutlaw23

One would think that a husband would do everything in his power to ensure that his wife succeeded in her exams. He should understand what she is going through and be supportive of her goals. He could have made her breakfast and coffee before her exam and sent her out the door with an encouraging note telling her that he knows she’s going to kill it. There are many ways this husband could have shown his love and support on this day, but instead he chose immaturity. Not only did he nearly hurt his wife’s future, he hurt her feelings and damaged their relationship. By exercising this kind of manipulative behavior, this husband made it clear that what he really wants is control of his wife.

A controlling relationship is a dangerous situation to be in, but it generally does not happen overnight. Small changes happen overtime, and then suddenly your husband is holding you captive and telling you that missing your exam was something you deserved. And as therapist Cynthia Catchings told Talkspace, “We have to remember that control is not always accompanied by fear or force. It can also be present in subliminal ways.” Cynthia explained that partners sabotage one another for various reasons, including a lack of trust, insecurity, jealousy, and feeling threatened. “Culturally, we see that some men do not like to see their partner succeed or move up,” she notes. 

But just because it’s common does not make this kind of behavior acceptable. “Recognizing the sabotage is just the first step. Avoiding making excuses for our partner’s negative behavior is the second one,” Cynthia says. And if it escalates, you might need to seek professional help and remove yourself from the relationship altogether. In the case of this woman on Reddit, she was so close to being done with university, all her husband needed to do was wait a few days. But the fact that he lashed out at her for staying home to study for an evening is extremely concerning. I hope that she makes it clear that this behavior will not be tolerated in the future, because no one should be manipulated by their partner like that. 

Readers are warning the woman that seeing this kind of manipulative behavior from her husband is a bad sign and that he will likely get worse in the future

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