A lot happens in the first few days to a woman right when she gives birth. From after-birth pains to healing the stitches, and things like figuring out breastfeeding and suffering from ‘baby blues,’ there’s just so much to handle. No wonder that visitors, in other situations fun and exciting, can be extremely tiring for both mom and baby.

But one 27-year-old man whose wife is expecting seems to have a hard time understanding that. In a post he wrote on r/AITA not so long ago, he explained that his parents continually complained about not spending Christmas with them and demanded he make it up to them. “I said I was open for any suggestions they had and they suggested they come stay with us for a week once the baby is born,” Joseph Pecker Jr wrote.

Unbeknownst to his heavily pregnant wife who’s due about any day, he invited his whole family to stay over for a week right after she gave birth. You need not guess how upset it made her for obvious reasons. Read the full story below and be sure to share your thoughts in the comment section!

A man shared on r/AITA how his pregnant wife got upset over him inviting his whole family over for a week right after she gives birth

Image credits: Jeena Paradies (not the actual photo)

Bored Panda reached out to Jane Parker, a strategic intervention advanced relationship coach who helps people to have successful, fulfilling and healthy relationships, to find out more about what exactly a woman is going through after giving birth. Jane explained that after a woman has given birth, she is making huge changes, physically, emotionally, mentally and practically. “This can be overwhelming and scary. A supportive partner can make all the difference to this time. Certainty for the woman is imperative and a lot of this can come from the partner.”

Moreover, new life stages can be challenging for couples, Jane argues. “We need to reassess our roles, what we need and what our partner needs. Assuming that things will carry on as usual with such a momentous life change as having a baby can harm a relationship and damage trust. Maneuvering the changes together as a couple is imperative and this requires empathy, understanding, and an open mind,” she said and added that becoming a parent requires us all to change in different ways.

The author also added a couple of points

The challenges a woman faces after giving birth are mental, physical, emotional and practical. “There is also adjusting to the new demands made upon her, her new role in life, the pressure to get it all right or get it all done can be huge for many. It is an immense change for her on many levels,” Jane explained.

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Moreover, she argues, there is so much uncertainty for a new mother that it can be overwhelming. “First-time parents don’t know what to expect mentally, physically and emotionally, and this increases the need for understanding, certainty, respect of boundaries, space, and privacy to deal with all of these things as they arise. All of the mother’s energy needs to be focused on herself and the baby’s well-being where possible.”

The new mother will possibly feel vulnerable so her feelings need to be considered at all times, an expert says

According to the relationship coach, “every new mother is different, of course, so there needs to be consistent and open communication between partners to create an understanding of what they both need and want.” Jane also said that the mother will possibly feel quite vulnerable and protective after having a baby and so her feelings need to be considered at all times. “Some mothers may want a parent or close friend nearby for support and so a conversation about these things before and after the baby arrives is imperative.”

“I would say that if you would like family to come and visit, try to set a length of time that they can stay. Of course, the family wants to see the baby but them staying for hours may be exhausting or stressful for the new parents so maybe suggest that they come round for half an hour or an hour, and at a time that suits you both,” Jane suggested.

She also added that the question that new dads can ask themselves about their partner at this time is “What do they need? (If they don’t know this then ask their partner).” According to Jane, “if they ask themselves this on a regular basis and take action on it, their new mum will feel loved, significant, protected and considered. This will build trust and help to strengthen their relationship at a challenging time.”

But most people thought that the author messed up

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