Divvying up family responsibilities can be tricky, which is why some couples end up splitting things between working and managing the household. However, this is not a surefire way to avoid conflicts because ultimately, there are things that have to be done that need both partners to actually participate one way or another.

A woman asked if she was wrong to not plan and organize a family Christmas party after her husband left her with an insultingly tiny budget. We reached out to the mom who made the post via private message and will update the article when she gets back to us.

In some households, planning Christmas all falls on one person

Image credits: prostock-studio / freepik (not the actual photo)

But a SAHM decided to call it off when she was given a tiny budget

Image credits: Jonathan Borba / pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: NoChristmas2022

Financial abuse is very real and more common than one might think

Image credits: AlexFotolabs / freepik (not the actual photo)

As many comments note, what this husband seems to be doing is a form of financial abuse. It’s important to remember that just because there isn’t physical violence, doesn’t mean that there isn’t some degree of abuse going on. Controlling a person’s resources and using it to manipulate them is very clearly a significant method of domination.

One of the main “uses” of this sort of financial control is to limit the victims ability to leave. Many comments were telling the woman to just walk out with her kids, but she is a SAHM with, presumably, very limited resources. While we don’t know the full details, it does seem like this $100 was truly make or break, so she probably can’t just pack her bags and leave.

Blaming and manipulating is a very clear and unfortunately common part of this sort of abuse. Because it is “his money,” he acts like he can dictate terms whenever he feels like it. This means she lives in constant fear that at any point, he can “change the rules” because who is going to stop him>

Cutting household income for months just to pay for flights to a football game, presumably, based on the date of the post, the 2022 FIFA World Cup, which was held in Qatar. He seems to have made this decision unilaterally, literally limiting the money for his wife and kids. Yes, this is “his money,” but the entire idea of a SAHM is that the person with a regular job actually provides for everyone else.

This man ignored his part of the bargain

Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

But providing for just himself is a clear sign he wants his cake and to eat it as well. He chose to spend his money on Qatar, he also chose to leave his wife with $100. As a person who “controls the money” should know, if you want something, you pay for it. His abusive rhetoric just shows that he is a bad partner.

Just the fact that she even has to “ask the internet” about his behavior is evidence that he has gaslit her into thinking she might be at fault. Again, in a relationship like this, he has to literally provide the funds for what he wants. While it might seem like a great solution to get out of childcare, being the one with a job in a situation like this means you have to have the money, as you are the solo source of income at the end of the day. This is just entitlement, coupled with the knowledge that he can “get away” with it.

ADVERTISEMENT

Don’t want to see ads?

Hopefully, she took some of these ideas to heart, because financial abuse really is often cited as a reason people don’t leave. Many commenters left suggestions for what to do, including screenshots, as if this goes to court, it could be useful. Ideally, she would end up out of this relationship, while still getting some income from him to cover for the multiple children she has to still raise.

Most folks sided with the mom

ADVERTISEMENT

Don’t want to see ads?

A few readers pointed out some nuances

ADVERTISEMENT

Don’t want to see ads?

Poll Question

Thanks! Check out the results:

Newsletter

Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls

Subscribe

By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.

Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!

Games

View all games

Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing!

Follow Bored Panda on Google News!

Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda!