“Am I The [Jerk] For Not Allowing My Husband’s Friend To Bring Her Dog To Thanksgiving Dinner?”
It’s perfectly okay to love your fur baby, but some people can get a little obsessed, insisting that their pets go absolutely everywhere with them. This sort of fixation can lead to awkward moments when they find out their animals aren’t always welcome.
One person hosting Thanksgiving dinner found themselves in such a position after their husband’s friend had a meltdown because she couldn’t bring her dog along. Despite the fact that she was meant to bring the turkey, the friend backed out in a huff.
More info: Reddit
Some people can get a bit too obsessed with their pets, as this person found out the hard way
Image credits: Element5 Digital / Pexels (not the actual photo)
They were hosting Thanksgiving dinner, but had a “no pets” rule, mostly because their apartment is tiny
Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)
When she asked her husband to let his friend know her dog wouldn’t be welcome, the friend had a complete meltdown
Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Furious, the friend let the host know that she wouldn’t be coming anymore, and that they could forget about having turkey, which she had volunteered to prepare
Image credits: WarningKey4701
The host feels like they were setting a reasonable boundary, but still turned to netizens to ask if they were the jerks in the unhappy situation
OP begins the story by telling the community that her husband asked if they could host Thanksgiving dinner this year, something they don’t usually do since their apartment is quite small. She goes on to say that most of the guests would be friends, one of whom, Chelsey, volunteered to prepare the turkey.
On Thanksgiving Day, one of the couple’s friends asked if they could bring their cat, but OP let them know that no pets would be allowed, since the space was quite small, and it was a dinner gathering. OP’s husband suggested they let Chelsey know too, since she usually insists on taking her dog everywhere with her.
When the husband texted Chelsey, though, she immediately called, upset that the couple had not let her know her dog wouldn’t be welcome when they invited her. OP explained to her that they assumed it was understood that bringing pets to a dinner without asking wasn’t normal, especially since they didn’t have pets of their own.
Well, Chelsey told them she guessed they’d be having Thanksgiving without turkey then. OP says they felt a little pressured but calmly let her know they were sorry she felt that way, to which Chelsey replied, “No, I feel sorry for you, since you won’t have a turkey,” and abruptly hung up.
Thanksgiving has a reputation for drama, what with the travel stress, family dynamics, mountains of food to prepare, and the lofty expectation that everything should be perfect. From what OP tells us in her post, Chelsey only contributed to the chaos.
Image credits: Ron Lach / Pexels (not the actual photo)
In her article for The Week, Leslie Turnbull writes that, under the right circumstances, human-dog interaction can be hugely beneficial to both species.
In fact, Alexandra Horowitz, a cognitive scientist and author of several books, including the New York Times bestsellers Inside of a Dog and Being a Dog, says, “Like humans, dogs are social animals, and need to be around other people or dogs — or both — depending on the dog.”
Recent research backs up the psychological, physical, and emotional benefits many people experience by having a dog around. It could thus be reasonable to claim that the human-dog relationship is profoundly symbiotic and should be honored by taking your pooch with you everywhere you go, surely? Well, not quite.
“Not everyone wants to meet a dog,” Horowitz says, “and people who bring their dogs out must be sensitive to that. If a stranger has no choice but to interact with your dog, that’s a poor choice of place to bring the dog.”
That being said, it’s also worth considering that your furry friend might not always be comfortable in certain situations, particularly around strangers, new places, or even other dogs.
Of course, service dogs and emotional support animals get a pass because their owners legitimately need them to get through the day. Unless Chelsey’s dog falls into one of those two categories, she’s probably in for more dog-blocking in the future.
What would you have done if you’d found yourself in OP’s shoes? Do you think Chelsey overreacted? Let us know your opinion in the comments!
In the comments, readers concluded that the host was not the jerk in the unfortunate scenario and suggested that the friend was probably trying to use the turkey as a bribe
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
I think that this girl is ridiculous. Not everyone wants a petting zoo in their house, nor is everyone allowed to have animals in their homes. Her attitude is horrible. Throwing a fit because she doesn't get her way is immature and ridiculous. Now that you're no longer friends OVER A DOG,don't feel bad. Don't apologize. This is her loss.
Where I live its illegal for landlords to forbid pets
Load More Replies...I love my dog. He is my world. But I can go a few hours without him! If I'm going to be gone for more than 6 hours I organise someone to go over and let him out.
Going with ESH. They knew Chelsey expects to bring her dog everywhere and creates drama when she can't, even if we all agree that it's rude AF to bring your pets unless specifically invited. For the OP to choose to wait until Thanksgiving Day to call her and say, BTW, you can't bring your dog- because what's the chance of Chelsey being able to find a dog sitter last minute ON THANKSGIVING?!?!- is in my opinion as rude as Chelsey assuming she could bring her dog in the first place. And if OP couldn't foresee Chelsey throwing a temper tantrum and holding the turkey hostage, if that isn't the very definition of FAFO...
Nope, you don't have to accomodate people just bc you expect them to throw a tantrum.
Load More Replies...I think that this girl is ridiculous. Not everyone wants a petting zoo in their house, nor is everyone allowed to have animals in their homes. Her attitude is horrible. Throwing a fit because she doesn't get her way is immature and ridiculous. Now that you're no longer friends OVER A DOG,don't feel bad. Don't apologize. This is her loss.
Where I live its illegal for landlords to forbid pets
Load More Replies...I love my dog. He is my world. But I can go a few hours without him! If I'm going to be gone for more than 6 hours I organise someone to go over and let him out.
Going with ESH. They knew Chelsey expects to bring her dog everywhere and creates drama when she can't, even if we all agree that it's rude AF to bring your pets unless specifically invited. For the OP to choose to wait until Thanksgiving Day to call her and say, BTW, you can't bring your dog- because what's the chance of Chelsey being able to find a dog sitter last minute ON THANKSGIVING?!?!- is in my opinion as rude as Chelsey assuming she could bring her dog in the first place. And if OP couldn't foresee Chelsey throwing a temper tantrum and holding the turkey hostage, if that isn't the very definition of FAFO...
Nope, you don't have to accomodate people just bc you expect them to throw a tantrum.
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