“You Should Require An IQ Test”: Pregnant Woman Shocked After Husband Asks For A Paternity Test
Some people fear infidelity more than is actually necessary. Their parents’ relationship (or lack thereof) and other trauma can make people act irrationally towards the people they love. Unfortunately, it can be pretty miserable to be on the receiving end of cheating allegations when you are entirely innocent.
A woman shared her surprise when she told her husband about her pregnancy, only for him to immediately demand a paternity test. We reached out to the woman who shared the story via private message and will update the article when she gets back to us.
Normally, a pregnancy is something a married couple would celebrate
Image credits: Thiago Schlemper / pexels (not the actual photo)
But one woman was upset when her husband wanted a paternity test when she broke the news
Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages / envato (not the actual photo)
She gave some more info later
Image credits: p1nkribbon
Paternity testing is regulated to “preserve peace” in some places
Image credits: Andre Furtado / pexels (not the actual photo)
While it might seem like a straightforward procedure, paternity tests tend to come with enough emotional baggage that, for example, France has banned private testing. This isn’t to say that it’s impossible to get a paternity test in France, but one has to be ordered by a court. This isn’t some leftover law from ages gone by, it’s actively enforced, and a man who is “caught” getting a paternity test abroad can be fined up to €15,000. That being said, many French couples will just do the testing in Spain if they really want to know. The purpose of the law is to preserve the “French regime of filiation and the peace of families,” which seems like a complicated way to allow cheaters to get away with it.
Israel has similar laws, although they are not quite as punitive as the French version. Parents can take paternity tests abroad without penalty, but family courts in Israel do not have to accept the results as evidence. In disputes, courts will order paternity tests, but one can’t just get them on their own volition. In contrast even to countries where paternity tests are legal, the US allows the father to test their kids without the mother’s permission. Some men are ok to raise others’ kids, but it’s a perfectly acceptable reason to terminate a marriage, however, that doesn’t seem to be what’s happening here.
The husband’s behavior was unhinged
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual poto)
All in all, this demonstrates just how touchy of a subject this can be. On the face of it, it’s just a test, but the real drama is what it implies. No one likes to be accused of infidelity, particularly when there is a perfectly understandable explanation. If one is having unprotected sex regularly and not even trying to avoid pregnancy, chances are that someone will get pregnant.
The husband’s tone and way of demanding is what makes the entire thing seem fishy. Assuming the wife is not lying, he seems to truly be coming from nowhere and can’t articulate why he would want a paternity test. As some commenters note, the behavior is so bizarre, that it almost seems like he is compensating for some degree of guilt. A few suggest that he is actually cheating, but this is as baseless as his own accusations.
Setting that aside, it’s understandable why the wife now has doubts. If he had concerns, perhaps borne of past experiences or trauma, it would not be that strange to ask for a paternity test, just for “peace of mind.” If she would still refuse in a case like this, then perhaps he would be correct to ask questions, but as it stands, he vastly overreacted.
He has no evidence or even a suggestion of how cheating may have happened, he has not gotten a secret vasectomy, he can’t even describe the medical issues he is invoking. Normally, this sort of bizarre ranting is the sort of thing that comes out earlier in a relationship. Communication is key in any relationship. Cheating looks different to different couples, but he hasn’t even given a single example. Infidelity allegations and having a child together are both things that need open, honest and effective communication, not rants. Hopefully, she can figure out where he was coming from or at least get some distance from this man.
Most thought he was being unreasonable
But a few thought she should have just done it
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The YTAs, yet again, are big old pieces of s**t. "It's perfectly fine to call your pregnant wife a cheating whore" is what they sound like to me. When my wife told me she was pregnant (married 8 years, raised stepkids, didn't plan on any more)... my first, second, third, FIVE HUNDREDTH thought was never "I want a paternity test." I feel bad for op, but could imagine her getting a paternity test, divorce, and possibly terminating the pregnancy. Her husband is a HUGE AH.
They’re undoubtedly incels, which yes; makes them pieces of rancid shít.
Load More Replies...There was an update to this on reddit today. He was cheating on her, with the friend that she went to confide in no less.
What I find highly distasteful is that this poor woman has to 'prove' something to her husband. Having to proof something to someone means they don't trust you, period. If her husband doesn't trust her and he has given her no specific reason why he doesn't trust her, why are you in a relationship? A relationship revolves around trust and honesty and both those things don't feature in OP's husband's life apparently.
Some of the comments saying, "But men can never know for sure, so it's not FAIR!" Excuse me? There is obviously no medical test that can prove a man has been 100% faithful. So you require proof of her fidelity, but she just has to take your word for it? The emotional maturity to trust your partner and relationship only has to go one way and that's fair?
Load More Replies...The YTAs, yet again, are big old pieces of s**t. "It's perfectly fine to call your pregnant wife a cheating whore" is what they sound like to me. When my wife told me she was pregnant (married 8 years, raised stepkids, didn't plan on any more)... my first, second, third, FIVE HUNDREDTH thought was never "I want a paternity test." I feel bad for op, but could imagine her getting a paternity test, divorce, and possibly terminating the pregnancy. Her husband is a HUGE AH.
They’re undoubtedly incels, which yes; makes them pieces of rancid shít.
Load More Replies...There was an update to this on reddit today. He was cheating on her, with the friend that she went to confide in no less.
What I find highly distasteful is that this poor woman has to 'prove' something to her husband. Having to proof something to someone means they don't trust you, period. If her husband doesn't trust her and he has given her no specific reason why he doesn't trust her, why are you in a relationship? A relationship revolves around trust and honesty and both those things don't feature in OP's husband's life apparently.
Some of the comments saying, "But men can never know for sure, so it's not FAIR!" Excuse me? There is obviously no medical test that can prove a man has been 100% faithful. So you require proof of her fidelity, but she just has to take your word for it? The emotional maturity to trust your partner and relationship only has to go one way and that's fair?
Load More Replies...
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