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Man Snaps When Partner Asks Why He Won’t Learn How To Drive, She’s Sick Of Doing It All Alone
Ever heard of the term “amaxophobia”? Well, it means fear of driving, and it really gives anxiety to some people who are asked to drive. I am so glad I don’t have it, because I honestly can’t imagine my life without roaming around in my beloved vehicle.
The original poster’s partner, however, has never explained why he simply refused to learn how to drive and would snap whenever she asked him the reason. This did not stop him from demanding that she chauffeur the kids to his mom’s house; of course, this upset her!
More info: Mumsnet
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Some people just don’t like driving but absolutely refusing to even learn how to, without giving any reason, sounds unfair
Image credits: Anastasia Shuraeva / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The poster’s partner never learned how to drive even after she gifted him driving classes, and he never told her the reason why but snapped whenever she asked him
Image credits: Viewsaremyown
Image credits: Ivan Samkov / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Even when they had kids, the poster went to the hospital in a taxi and her parents picked her up, while they asked friends for lifts during the lockdown
Image credits: Viewsaremyown
Image credits: Los Muertos Crew / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Now, the poster has been doing all the driving while dropping their kids at her parents’ house and her partner feels that it’s unfair for his mom and demanded she drive them there as well
Image credits: Viewsaremyown
Along with managing her job and kids, she is highly annoyed by his demands and feels sick of having to drive everywhere
Today, we dive into a very strange story where the poster’s partner of 20 years has always simply refused to give a reason why he never learned how to drive. He had even added it to his to-do list, so she gifted him driving lessons, and not just her; OP mentions that even her family had given him similar gifts. However, it was all wasted money as he was just adamant about never learning.
Many times, the poster tried to reason with him and gently asked him why, to which the man always snapped and, to quote the poster, “bit her head off”. Ouch, anger issues much? Another strange thing was that he kept mentioning that he would learn, even before they were to have their first child, but just never acted on his word.
When they had both their kids, the poster went to the hospital in a taxi, which she found very uncomfortable, while her parents came to pick them up, which she felt was very immature. To be honest, who’s to blame her; with all the issues that arise after delivery, it must be annoying for her. Even during the lockdown, they had to rely on their friends to drive them around.
Coming to the present, her parents—who live 1.5 hours away—looked after their kids for a week. To be fair to his mom, OP’s partner demanded that she drive the children to her house, which is 2 hours away, and it was simply too much for her.
The poster was just exhausted from juggling her full-time job and the kids, so driving to his mom, which would create more drama, was quite a stretch for her. In the comments, she admitted that she handles more burden compared to him, but he justified it by stating that he needs to travel for work.
Image credits: Anna Shvets / Pexels (not the actual photo)
When she posted her frustrating situation online, people found her partner to be quite strange and entitled. They found it absurd that he never told her the reason why he refused to learn because, after all, they’ve been together for 20 years and people felt that she has a right to know.
Netizens commented that it’s unfair of him to demand so much from her because it must be physically draining if she’s been managing everything along with chauffeuring the kids. People said that he should use public transport if he wants to be “fair to his mum”.
As per Statista, 68% of the British population drive their car to work, with 11% using rail services. If so many people can use public transport for commuting, then he should also have no problem in doing so rather than burdening OP.
Another important aspect that netizens highlighted was how aggressively he reacted when she asked him the reason for his refusal, and his anger issues were alarming.
Choosing Therapy states, “Due to traditional gender norms, men may be more prone to types of anger that discourage emotional expression, leading them to suppress feelings until they boil over. Additionally, societal pressures to appear dominant and in control can exacerbate anger problems.”
The poster also mentioned that he has always avoided having difficult conversations—just like his mom—and people replied that he might be suppressing them, which isn’t healthy. Folks also added that he needs to resolve his anger issues as it might rub off on their children. Some advised the woman to leave him, and she replied that she was considering it.
What would you do in her shoes? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!
Folks online found it really strange that he refused to even discuss it with her and they said that he should use public transport to take the kids to his mom and not make her drive
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What do you think ?
lenka 2 months ago
This is only going to keep getting worse as the kids get older and start activities and social stuff. You will end up being a full time taxi for the whole family. Just stop. Do the necessary driving for you, the kids and your family. Everything else is on him. He wants to visit his parents. Figure it out my friend. He wants to go hang out with friends. Yeah, ok, cool. See you when you get home, bye. If he asks you to drive him somewhere, just say, No, that doesn't work for me. Full stop.
Winter Eleven 2 months ago
I'd start charging him for my time and gas and upkeep for the car etc.
Load More Replies... FreeTheUnicorn 2 months ago (edited)
He doesn't have to learn how to drive, but you don't have to be his chauffeur. He's a grown man, he can get himself to mum's house. As for the general situation, he's clearly not going to learn how to drive. If you can live with that (but you don't have to drive him places, just have a partner who can't share driving responsibilities) then stay, if not, its reasonable to break up because a partner isnt sharing equally in responsibilities.
Winter Eleven 2 months ago
Dude should just use his own money to hire his own chauffeur by now
Load More Replies...
Mary Green 2 months ago
I didn't learn to drive until my early 40's, and then even after that rarely drove myself around as my husband preferred to drive. But I forced myself to learn even though it was uncomfortable for me, and was very grateful I did when my husband became gravely ill and died recently. I would not have been able to easily visit him almost daily while he was in palliative care for several months in a hospital that was 20 miles away, and would be in deep trouble getting myself around now if I hadn't. Public transportation in Oklahoma is a joke.
lenka 2 months ago
This is only going to keep getting worse as the kids get older and start activities and social stuff. You will end up being a full time taxi for the whole family. Just stop. Do the necessary driving for you, the kids and your family. Everything else is on him. He wants to visit his parents. Figure it out my friend. He wants to go hang out with friends. Yeah, ok, cool. See you when you get home, bye. If he asks you to drive him somewhere, just say, No, that doesn't work for me. Full stop.
Winter Eleven 2 months ago
I'd start charging him for my time and gas and upkeep for the car etc.
Load More Replies... FreeTheUnicorn 2 months ago (edited)
He doesn't have to learn how to drive, but you don't have to be his chauffeur. He's a grown man, he can get himself to mum's house. As for the general situation, he's clearly not going to learn how to drive. If you can live with that (but you don't have to drive him places, just have a partner who can't share driving responsibilities) then stay, if not, its reasonable to break up because a partner isnt sharing equally in responsibilities.
Winter Eleven 2 months ago
Dude should just use his own money to hire his own chauffeur by now
Load More Replies... Mary Green 2 months ago
I didn't learn to drive until my early 40's, and then even after that rarely drove myself around as my husband preferred to drive. But I forced myself to learn even though it was uncomfortable for me, and was very grateful I did when my husband became gravely ill and died recently. I would not have been able to easily visit him almost daily while he was in palliative care for several months in a hospital that was 20 miles away, and would be in deep trouble getting myself around now if I hadn't. Public transportation in Oklahoma is a joke.
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