Even if you’ve been seeing someone for a long time, it can be tricky to know if you’re ready to spend the rest of your lives together. After all, nobody is 100 percent sure about the future. You just gather as much information as you can and trust your gut.

A week ago, one man created a Reddit account to ask other users for help in navigating a tough spot. He had known his partner for years and one of the reasons why he admired the woman so much was her ambition. However, after they got engaged, she said something that completely changed the way he looked at her.

The woman confessed she wanted to quit her job and be a stay-at-home-wife. This led to a heated argument, calling each other names and even rethinking the entire relationship. Asking people whether or not he was in the wrong, here’s what the man wrote.

Image credits: Pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: lazy-fiancee

Lisa Burton, aka The Bridal Consultant, who plans affordable and memorable weddings abroad in Greece and Italy, acknowledged that sometimes couples fall apart during what should be the preparation for the rest of their lives.

“I sadly have at least 2 weddings cancelled each year for varying reasons and often it’s due to the bride or groom having changed their mind about getting married,” Burton told Bored Panda.

“I met with a couple once to discuss their plans and I could tell from the groom’s body language that he had no interest in their wedding. He was very distant the whole time. So I wasn’t completely surprised when the bride called me a few months later to tell me the wedding was off due to the groom having an ongoing affair for the last 2 years.”

Burton recalled another couple who had a huge fall out on their actual wedding day, causing the groom to leave and the bride had her last dance with one of the waiters.

Unfortunately, the wedding planner has not yet had a couple cancel a wedding and then rebook it. “This is not to say this doesn’t happen but maybe they’re too embarrassed to rebook their wedding with me,” she said.

“A couple really need to have thorough practical and honest, conversations before they decide to marry, discussing details such as, how many children they’d like and who will raise the children, but also, lifestyle, financial and career goals need to be discussed,” Burton said.

Having been married for nearly 18 years and together almost 25, Lisa’s own experiences have taught her these are conversations you naturally have from early in your relationship. “The excitement of finding the one leads you to dream of your future together, so if these conversations are not had, then you need to consider if you’re with the right partner.”

“Some dream of getting married from an early age and when they’re proposed to, the excitement of the fairytale coming true often takes over any practical reality of discussing a future together,” Burton explained. “It’s actually very much the same, but now you’re legally committed to each other.”

After the story went viral, the OP provided more insight into the situation

Other experts agree that there is no magic time frame, no special sweet spot for people to get engaged. “There are some couples who know on the first date that they’ve found the one and get engaged quickly, while others take the time to get to know someone well before putting a ring on it,” online dating expert and digital matchmaker Julie Spira told BRIDES.

Just like Lisa Burton, Spira is of the opinion, that a couple should go through all seasons together at the very least so that they surpass the honeymoon period before determining whether or not to stay together for life. “Everyone puts their best foot forward during the courting stage, which is typically the first three months of the relationship. When [everything] is brand new, you haven’t gone through the bumps on the road together, traveled on vacation together, or gone through a traumatic event such as the death of a family member or loss of a job.”

One study published by researchers at Emory University in Atlanta also supports this line of thought. It found that couples who’d been together at least three years before they got engaged were 39 percent less likely to get divorced than couples who got engaged within the first year of dating.

But as we can see, nothing is guaranteed even then.

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