A break-up is often more painful when it comes out of the blue. So is divorce. But sometimes, that’s just the way relationships end, when one partner decides they want out.

To this redditor, her husband filing for divorce came as a total shock. To make matters worse, he said he wanted out of the relationship because he had fallen out of love with his wife. Bearing that in mind, the woman made her peace with the new reality; but once she did that, her husband decided he wanted her back. Scroll down to find the full story in the OP’s own words below.

Going through a divorce is not easy on anyone

Image credits: Mikhail Nilov / Pexels (not the actual photo)

After filing for divorce, this woman’s husband changed his mind and decided he wanted her back in his life

Image credits: ALINA MATVEYCHEVA / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Alena Darmel / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: THROWRAgreeneduck

Image credits: Curated Lifestyle / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Thousands of “I dos” every year are revoked by divorces and annulments

By saying “I do,” people promise to love their significant other till the end of their days. But for many couples, love, unfortunately, doesn’t last that long. In 2022 alone, close to 674,000 divorces and annulments took place, putting an end to thousands of love stories arguably once and for all.

Delving deeper into the reasons for divorce, Forbes noted that lack of commitment seems to be the main one, with as many as three in four couples reportedly citing it as the reason for going their separate ways. Infidelity, resulting in roughly 60% of couples divorcing, is second on the list, followed by domestic abuse – the reason behind 24% of divorces.

Then there is also falling out of love, which became the reason for divorce in the OP’s story (though, research suggests that it is women who tend to experience a more dramatic decrease in feelings of love over time rather than their male counterparts). Research on falling out of romantic love with a spouse points out that the process may include a loss of trust, intimacy, and feeling loved; emotional pain; and a negative sense of self.

“Gradual decline was identified as a slow, progressive deterioration of the relationship in which over time the romantic love decreased and eventually ended. [The] pivotal moment of knowing was seen as a specific moment in which there was awareness of no longer being in romantic love. The specific circumstances associated with [the] pivotal moment were different for each participant, but the clarity of the moment was universal,” the research read in part.

Image credits: Priscilla Du Preez / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Many people find love—and even a spouse—again after a divorce

Despite falling out of love usually being a process that takes time, the redditor’s husband kept his feelings—or lack thereof—to himself, which is why the news about him wanting a divorce came as quite a shock to his wife. Having to undergo a divorce is usually painful enough as it is, not to mention it coming as a surprise and shattering all and any images of a future together the blindsided partner might have had.

According to psychologist and author Dr. Melanie Greenberg, an unexpected and unwanted end of a relationship can cause considerable psychological distress. Shedding light on a study on breakups and the brain in a piece for Psychology Today, she noted that breakups and physical pain are processed in the same brain regions.

“This doesn’t however, mean that romantic rejection causes actual physical pain. Rather, your brain is signaling that both are important events to pay attention to,” the expert wrote.

Clearly, a breakup or a divorce is not an easy thing to go through. But many, if not most, people find a way to deal with the turbulent time and often find love again – according to the Pew Research Center (as of 2014), four in ten marriages involve a remarriage.

In her post, the OP shared that after taking some time to think things through, she decided to go through with the divorce; she didn’t want to be with someone who said he didn’t love her. But after she agreed to proceed with the divorce, her husband didn’t take long to change his tune. Netizens tried speculating why that happened, discussing their thoughts in the comments.

Fellow netizens didn’t hold back their thoughts on the OP’s husband

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