The modern love scene leaves much to be desired. Nearly half of those actively dating believe it’s harder now than it was a decade ago. Men say they’re lonelier than ever. Women, on the other hand, are happier staying single.

There’s no single answer to why this is happening. But for many who haven’t given up on the dream of finding “the one,” the struggle often points to dating apps.

A 2022 study revealed that four in five U.S. adults feel emotionally drained from using them. Plenty seem to be walking away, too—a recent survey from Ofcom found that user numbers on platforms like Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble have dropped for the first time.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m not an avid hater of dating apps. I know that Tinder, along with the countless platforms it inspired, has brought together people who might never have crossed paths otherwise. In fact, a 2023 study shows that one in 10 people in committed relationships met their partner online. Even among my friends, many found their soulmates thanks to the internet, with some even having tied the knot. 

That said, I also have plenty of screenshots buried in the depths of group chats—disastrous conversations they endured on dating apps before finally stumbling upon their happily-ever-after.

Love, dating, and relationship coach Vicki Pavitt agrees. “Dating apps can open up more opportunities to meet people, but dating fatigue and burnout are common,” she told Bored Panda. “The sheer volume of options can lead to ‘decision fatigue’ and the paradox of choice, making commitment harder. This has also given rise to trends like ghosting, orbiting, and breadcrumbing.”

Dating and relationship coach Emma Lorraine Pask adds that this overwhelming element of choice, combined with the technical interface of dating apps, often makes the experience feel impersonal. “This creates a sense that people are disposable, which at its worst encourages bad manners and poor behavior online,” she shared with Bored Panda.