Harsh truths about people's lives are rarely easy to talk about, but these women need to be heard, their stories need to be out in the open for everyone to see. Twitter user Emrazz, aka the Feminist Next Door, sparked an important discussion online when she asked her followers to share how old they were when men started making them “feel uncomfortable or unsafe” in their own body.
What follows are some of the most honest and powerful responses you’re likely to see on social media in recent days. Twitter users opened up about how they were on the receiving end of harassment and improper behavior and it is shocking. What’s even worse is that some of the people who made these women feel unsafe were the people closest to them.
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I was 8 years old. A boy in my class chased me around the playground trying to force kisses on me. He even tore my shirt. Other girls in my class tried to protect me and I was even forced to lock myself in the bathroom during recess. I ended up getting in trouble for it. Get this, an eight year old is being SEXUALLY HARASSED by a classmate and their efforts to protect themselves from it get them in trouble. I was forced back to class a crying and terrified mess while all he got was a reminder to "not do it during school time". He started following me home and he wouldn't stop. Eventually I had really had enough and gave him a black eye and a fractured nose. Left me alone after that.
Twitter user Emrazz describes herself as ‘Putting hard things into 280 characters with moderate success.’ Her willingness to tackle harsh issues has also made her the target of criticism online, with some people calling her account to allegedly be “objectively the worst.”
However, Emrazz wears that as a badge of pride. She also jokes in her Twitter bio that she will “tweet for mini muffins.” Meanwhile, on her Instagram, she points out that she doesn’t hate men as some internet users might think. However, she can’t stand misogyny. “I don’t hate men but I do hate misogyny. Stop doing that.”
Previously, Bored Panda spoke to Emily May, the Co-Founder and Executive Director at ‘Hollaback!’, an organization that aims to put an end to harassment in all its forms. Emily explained that parents need to find some time to speak to their children about one of the most difficult topics of all—harassment.
“Most parents know they need to talk to their kids about puberty before it happens, but few take the time to talk to their kids about harassment, even though almost half will be harassed by older men by the time they turn 12,” she said.
“We need to equip young people with resources including: what harassment is, what it looks like, how prevalent it is, why it isn’t ok—and most importantly, that it’s never their fault,” Emily from ‘Hollaback!’ told Bored Panda.
According to her, most young women blame themselves after being victims of harassment. This results in them being more hesitant to talk with their parents and loved ones about what happened.
This happened to a friend of mine. She was raped a lot at a very young age by neighborhood kids. She didn't even realize or process until high school, and it broke her.
Jesus Christ. This is disgusting. How could a father be so gross, like WTF??
Emily pointed out that victims of harassment are afraid that their family members will ask them questions like, “Why were you wearing that?” or, “Why did you take that route?”
“In the same way we tell our teenage kids that if they get drunk and don’t feel safe driving home we will pick them up from wherever they are, no questions asked—we also need to tell our kids that if someone harasses them we will never, ever blame them for it or punish them for it. This is important for creating a safe space so that they have a trusted adult they can process these experiences with,” Emily told Bored Panda.
How are there so many school ones, wtf are the teachers doing????
According to Emily from ‘Hollaback!’, regaining the sense of security victims used to have in their local area is challenging but possible. Community plays a strong role in this.
“One thing that can help you build a sense of safety, however, is community. Take the time to get to know the good folks in your neighborhood and build positive relationships with not just your neighbors, but the people who deliver the mail, the trash folks, the guy that mows your neighbor’s lawn, etc.”
Getting to know the members of your community can help you feel more at ease. You also create potential allies who are likely to help you in case of an emergency. “The more people you know, the more people will have your back if something happens again. Knowing this can increase your sense of safety and belonging in your community.”
Argh, all these posts just make me never want to put my (non existing) daughter in a skirt. Which again is so wrong, as a girl should be able to wear whatever she wants.
Earlier still, Emily from ‘Hollaback!’ told Bored Panda more about street harassment and who it can happen to. “Street harassment is sexual, gender-based, and bias-motivated harassment that takes place in public spaces like the street, the supermarket, and the social media we use every day. At its core is a power dynamic that constantly reminds historically subordinated groups of our vulnerability to assault in public spaces,” she said.
“Street harassment can happen to anyone, but disproportionately punishes women, girls, LGBTQ+ people, and other marginalized groups for being themselves in the world,” Emily said that certain groups of people are more vulnerable than others.
Emily explained that there is a whole spectrum of gender-based violence. On one side of the spectrum are stalking, following, and comments about one’s appearance while things like groping are on the other side.
This world sucks. All people should be able to feel comfortable and safe in their bodies.
Rightfully so! Following is never okay and should not be normalized. It is disturbing and creepy.
How about the constant bra strap popping? I decked a guy for that after a solid week. I was grabbed and kissed at 6 by an eight year old. Safe, never. Wary, always.
“If street harassment were about getting dates, it would be what author Marty Langelan calls a ‘spectacularly unsuccessful strategy.’ Instead, street harassment is about ‘putting people in their place. Remember that it’s not your fault. And because it’s not your fault, it’s also not your responsibility to have the perfect response to street harassment. It’s their responsibility not to harass you.”
"you can't play with anybody because you have eyes, they might poke them"
Not me but a child: went round to my good friends house, she has three Kids, youngest was 1.5yr old female. She had a new boarder, but someone our group of friends had known a fair while. Anyway, her daughter had been acting a bit strangely, but on this visit took my hand, tried to lead me to a bedroom. I said 'no sweetie let's go play in the lounge'. She climbed up onto the bed and got in and patted next to her. My stomach dropped. I was only 19 myself and not a mum yet but I knew that was not normal for that wee girl, and I had a gut feeling. Told the mum. Boarder did a runner. I lost touch with my friend but I hope so much that I was wrong, but I'm glad I said something because I knew it wasn't right. (Just like another woman I flatted with got a new nd, he looked at her kids wrong. Like, ogling. No-one believed me, my then bf got angry at me for being suspicious. But I made sure that from the day she started dating him, I hung around and was ALWAYS present when she ...
...would leave him in charge of the kids and go out. I was unemployed so I could be there, always watching over the kids. It annoyed him, he wanted me to go out. Fwd two months, one day he's gone. Vanished. No one was at home but me. Then after an hour or two my bf and a few other mates burst into the house "Where is he!!". Turns out he had finally listened to me, and looked him up on the register. He was there under a different name, prolific paedophile. I think he cottoned on to them figuring it out and ran. The mum and kids as it turned out were out shopping. But I'm so glad I listened to my gut, but angry that I didn't do more and sooner. And I don't understand how no-one could see what was so obvious to me
Load More Replies...I also had to stop reading. I was a late bloomer and inherited quite a large nose from my father. I still remember being mocked by boys and men when I was a teenager. Even my uncle once looked at me laughed and said "God, you're ugly." I was 14 and so insecure I even tried to pretend reading a book walking down the street so I didn't have to look up or draw the attention of teenage boys. When I got older and started looking more and more female and attractive suddenly adult men tried to talk to me, walked after me and so on. Always was scared when I had to pass a construction site because you could be a 100% sure the workers would howl or whistle and comment on your body. I cannot count how often my butt got touched when I went to a club at night. I hardly ever told anyone. I'm in my 40s now and sometimes still feel a little insecure but thankfully it got better the older I became. Also I'm glad those things became more and more inacceptable but they still happen.
Teach your sons to respect women and girls before you lecture your daughters.
I promise I will always believe any child or woman from here on and do my best to help in any way they want.
The worst part about these stories is that the adults who were supposed to step up and help these girls did nothing AT BEST, and outright sided with their tormentors or joined in with said tormentors far too often. How can we call ourselves civilized when we've normalized blatant child abuse and demonize those children who speak up about it?
5 - I remember feeling uncomfortable because grown men catcalled me and tried flirting with me which I did not understand back then... Been 7 or 8 when another man (art teacher at the daycare I attended) tried to lure me into his home. He first asked me to volunteer in his art project, which I naivly did. Then he took me out for hot chocolate to the restaurant in the building where the art class was held as a reward - I went because did not know better. I am absolutely sure he would have gone further had my mother not shown up and taken me home from the restaurant... Thank God she tracked me down when I failed to show up at home on time...
When I was 18 a load of us from college did a 3 legged pub crawl in drag. I got very drunk, left the sponsorship form in pub 11 and ran back to get it. I then forgot where pub 12 was so decided to walk home along country roads (in my girlfriend's mini skirt and kitten heels), a car started slowly following me along the road which was frankly freaking me out. Eventually he pulled up beside me and said "excuse luv, can you tell me where {random place} is?". In my deepest Sarf London voice I said "sorry mate, I ain't got a clue". He wheelspun off. My point is, I get it, if I'd been a 5ft girl rather than a 6'2" guy I'd have been terrified and things may well have turned out differently. That's why if I'm walking home at night I'll cross to the other side of the road to try and alleviate your fear, if I think someone is following you I'll try to ask them for directions to distract them, if I hear a female scream at night I don't mind investigating even if it's just you messing around.
When my adult older brother (13 years older than me) at age 16 asked me to let him kiss including heavy petting. ie, make out. I'll never forgive him. His wife was at church LDS, young women's meeting at the time.
The mormon/lds church encourages narcissistic behavior in men, and codependent/victim behavior in the women. In the mormon town I grew up in they also sheltered pedophiles from any repercussions.
Load More Replies...I was four. My sister was nine. Our one relative-by-marriage started teasing her about her nascent breasts. (She developed a bit early.) I wanted to hide and never go near him again. Wasn't even me, but his piggy eyes and leer... UGH.
I was 11 or 12. I was skipping through an airport, and a teenager, 15 to 17, said "Yeah get it!" It made me want to curl up in a ball and cease to exist. When I was 13, someone wolf whisled at me. When I was 14, a boy, who had seen me in a bra and skirt and touched my bra (I was being miked for a play) told me days after that he had a crush on me. When I was 15, a guy stared silently at my a$$ as I got stuff out of my locker. I'm 16 now, and I'm afraid of what comes next.
Age 5. A neighbor boy tried to get me to show him my vagina. I didn't even know what body part he was talking about until he grabbed my skirt and tried to yank my underwear down. Males like that start young. This one harassed me in school for years until I had finally had ENOUGH and kicked him in the groin as hard as I could in 3d grade. NO ONE gets away with harassing me now. Men who don't understand boundaries understand public humiliation, so when I'm harassed in public as an adult, I make it the business of everyone within 100 meters.
I actually realized I‘m not a boy anymore when I realized that late at night women would see me as a threat. I wasn’t being creepy. I just had the same way home as that one girl and and she kept checking if I would attack her.
I was 6. I had a toy clock that I was playing with my mum at a seaside town we were visiting for the day. My dad was somewhere else with my older sister. A man with a dog was watching us & kept moving closer. Me loving animals started looking over & talking to the dog. My mum notices him staring at me & starts to leave. We go to the train station where we meet my dad & sister. Man with dog has followed my mum thinking we were on our own. He gets on the same train carriage & sits near me still staring. He tries to talk to me then about the clock. My Dad is sitting separately & Mum tells Dad what’s going on & my Dad immediately threatens him. Guy starts apologising & immediately gets off next stop. That’s the day my childhood ended & I was told there were men out there that wanted me to do bad things to little kids like me.
When I stopped feeling comfortable: Age 5 or 6, I was told I couldn't wear shorts or tight pants at my GREAT-UNCLE's house. When I stopped feeling safe: Age 8 or 9, I was blatantly stared at and hit on by a man that could have been my great-grandpa, who made inappropriate jokes about my choice of a snack (ice cream sandwich). It was at Dollar Tree. I developed relatively early, but I was clearly a small child, so just wtf.
It happens to boys too, I know a few examples. Myself I don't even know how old I was, a child, younger than 12. and it was my moms bf at the time.
I have so many words but none to describe the atrocity of being born female.
When I was 11, I was at a youth group. They where playing murder mystery, and I got bored, so I started walking around the building, and sat in the lobby. Another kid followed me, and me and him talked for a bit. There where pens, so I was drawing on myself and he was standing behind me, looking over my shoulder at the drawing, he was nice. It's funny that I remember that so peacefully, not scared or anything, perfectly fine. Then he went way for about five minutes, then came back, saying he wanted to show me something. I, not thinking anything of it, other than a strange feeling in my gut, followed him, to the game-room, lights all off. all of the others where in a different room. He walked up to the closet and turned the light on, gesturing to the boxes 'there is something under there,' he said, luckly, I knew something was wrong, and later I learned that was attempted rape, but let's get on with the REST of the story.... I didn't go into the closet, thank god. and I went back to.
Clarification, he was going to rape me in the closet, and if I had gone in, It would have happened.
Load More Replies...I was about 6 and on my bike. A guy in a van stops and asks me if I wanted some candy. Yes, the stereotype is true. This happened to me in the mid 70's. I remember being terrified and holding up a little bag of candy that I just bought and said, "I already have some" and I peddled away really fast. I told my parents what happened, but nothing came of it.
I'll never forget the moment it happened to me. I was ten. Started getting phone calls when my parents wern't home from a man who said all kinds of horrible sexual things to me, very violent threats. My older brother would answer the phone and threaten him back. Then one time my parents hired a young man to watch us, and when he spoke I recognised his voice....the voice from the phone calls. I hid behind the couch the whole night
The worst thing about this article was how many parents took the terrible person's side. Even their own parents think it's completely normal and something that's not a huge deal. No one realizes how bad it is until they're traumatized by something like that, and it completely breaks my heart for these people.
A few days ago , A guy pulled my sister's skirt , when she told everyone in my family , I and my grandpa were furious , but others laughed and said " He's just a kid . Kid's dont know anything". Never hated my family this much before.... Cause I knew the pain . In my previous school , The doors were broken and boys would come into the girls bathroom . I litreally locked myself and cried for hours when I saw my parents take it as a joke . Never been so f*****g disappointed
Aged 5: stated by my uncles friend, 'that's a pretty name for a pretty girl.' Aged 12: told to me by a stranger 'No one will shag because your a fat f****ing s**g'. Aged 13/14: some guy in our group hugged me from behind and then put his hand on my private area. We were in public. Aged 15: walking home from school in a school uniform and being wolf whistled. Aged 21: meet my bio dad for the first time and he commented on the size of my breasts and then wanted to hold hands with me. Aged 24: walking down the street on a Friday night, my friend and I approached by 2 men asking if we wanted sex. When we said no and walked off they followed us down the street and shouted we were English slags. So many examples...
I remember earlier experiences, but I’ll share the one that happened this year. I was at a restaurant, with my family and some guys from another country that worked with my dad. One of them was in front of me, and every time i sat back and was looking away, i would feel being watched and when i looked to the man, he would look away. Caught him looking at my breasts twice but didn’t say anything. I was 12/11 at the time
Probably 6 or 7 (so this was the early '70s). We lived on a dead end road with maybe 30 houses on it, so we knew all our neighbors. I was doing gymnastics in our front yard when a strange car drove by and turned around in the cul-de-sac. He stopped in front of our house, opened the passenger door, and motioned me to get in the car. I turned around and ran into the house while he swore loudly and with a great deal of frustration. Even then, I knew I escaped a fate worse than death.
im 14 currently. started feeling uncomfortable a few weeks ago around this one kid in my history class that sits next to me. it feels like he always is finding an excuse to touch me and talk to me about needing d*ck... one time he ran his pencil up and down my thigh....
Record and report. Especially record youself asking him to stop. I hate that we need video to be believed, but at least it's now an option.
Load More Replies...When I was about 7 and my friend's dad and brother asked me if I was any good at BJs (I didn't know what they were and then I felt sick when I found out)
I was 2. An uncle touched me and attempted intercourse. I told my mother as best I could. She told me to go back and play like a good little girl. I was also molested for years by another uncle and a lot of unwanted attention from other males. I'm a pretty, big busted redhead. I'm 60 now and suffer ptsd among other issues.
A comment vaguely in defense of the little boys. Vaguely. 6 year old boys who are looking up girls skirts aren't doing it for sexual reasons. They are doing it because they know it is "naughty" and their little ADHD brains get entertained by breaking rules and annoying people. They don't even understand *why* it isn't ok, they just know that this behavior gets that reaction. The real problem is the adults who brush it off by saying "oh, little Johnny just likes you", instead of saying "Johnny, stop it, that is NOT ok".
The skirt lifting was very popular when I was in elementary school some 35 years ago and it is much older than that - the boys would shout "Deckel hoch, die Wäsche kocht!" and throw your skirt up. This yell means "Lift the lid, the washing is boiling!" thus it dates back to a time when the white washing was really boiled in a pot and not washed in a washing machine yet. That's a time none of us kids witnessed for ourselves so go figure who taught those little sh!ts in the early '80s this kind of behaviour - most likely their own parents or even grandparents!! It was not meant sexually, it was just to annoy the girls - and the more annoyed the girls got, the more it was done. I always wore shorts under my skirts and dresses - yes, I was never fun at parties, even as a child.
Load More Replies...10: I was at a sleepover with some friends and 2 boys. Before sleeping, they made jokes about "having fun with us" and shared stories about doing it in the past. We hid in the (very, very) small bathroom all night. Also, also at around 11, I was helping with nursery kids. Not only did they run around chasing kids all day making kissing of faces they chased art making sexual noises. KIDS. 5 YEAR OLD BOYS. This (although not as bad as the stuff on the rest of the list) is not ok. It needs to be stopped
12. I was riding home from dance with the car window down, and these two guys in the car next to ours nudge each other and stared at me. I remember feeling so terrified, realizing what the world was like.
Age 5, another 5 year old keeps wanting to pull me under the table. Eventually does and pulls my pants off and throw them across the room. My mum complains and teacher says that he has problems at home and does nothing. Age 6, a different boy wants to see 'what I'm like down there'. I get pulled out to a different (girls) school. Late teens, school janitor starts stalking me and a couple of other girls. At college, collect another stalker (he realised what he's doing, apologises). One after in East London, as a young married woman, get stalked by a guy in a car. Can't go home, eventually have to duck into the Underground so he can't follow me. And I'm someone who can honestly say that the menfolk I know as family and friends have all been decent blokes, I've never been sexually abused....but still distrust men in general because of early and then random experiences.
I've never been safe around men. Never. I was raped by multiple men in my family. First time I attempted suicide, I was 10. I am 60 now and have spent my life in baggy clothes and I still cannot stand to be touched. I hate being female, hate the constant gnawing, soul eating shame of it. Good luck to younger generations, I am nearly done with this life and I won't miss it when it's done
It was never your fault. Society needs to change. Punisment for rape must be harsh and severe. Whole lives of women are being destroyed. If things like that just don't happen imagine what women can achieve instead of wasting our lives for healing trauma and always watch our backs. Meanwhile men go carefree and even laugh at us. I really really want to say something supportive to you but I have no idea what. It took me years myself to heal from trauma and I am still mad. I think no one can ever be really healed from something like this. I see myself becoming a mysandrist and I am fine with it. If men can be openly sexist why can't we too. I feel for you.
Load More Replies...Unfortunately, the women in my family have dealt with this on many occasions. My aunt was almost raped by a cousin when she was a kid. My mom was molested by a deacon of her church and her stepfather when she was in middle school. My sister and I had to leave a hotel swimming pool because a guy was sitting on the side of the pool watching us. The seriousness of this last situation didn't hit me until recently: when I was a freshman in high school, an older guy would not leave me alone. He would put his hands between my legs or try to put my hands between his legs. He would tell me a lot of sexually inappropriate jokes and he always wanted to be touching me. I finally moved to the front of the room and sat between two male classmates and at that point, he left me alone. I didn't realize how uncomfortable what he did made me feel until a few months ago in therapy.
It's really sad when reading things like this that I become grateful that I've always been "the fat girl" and haven't experienced this.
I'm afraid even being fat doesn't make you safe- every woman I know including overweight women have been harassed and assaulted. I've been harassed myself and my bmi is 30. Sometimes its not about looks but power. Some people just like to see how far they can get.
Load More Replies...Year 6 health class when a boy told us about how his sister was almost raped
It was my father and younger brothers. My dad would always tell me that he would and tried to "teach me about sex". He tried to tell me multiple times that "his other dad friends" would tell him that they wanted to sleep with daughter bc they were "hot". It was a test to see if I would let him have his way me. He was a breast man and he was always watching my breasts and wouldn't be shy about it. My brothers were always grabbing my privates and Id fight them and try to get them to stop. But according to both my parents, they do absolutely nothing wrong.
I can’t remember how young I was. The first memory that I can recall was being sexually abused by a relative. We don’t know how long or how much he got away with. The only reason we know it happened more than once is when my mom caught him, the place was different then the place I remember he did it to me. She was furious. My dad and his mom flat out denied he did anything, even after my mom caught him. And then later my dad had an affair with his mom. So his sex life was more important than his daughter. I’m 25, I still have issues after years of counseling. He died a few weeks ago, and I cried. Not because I was grateful, but because he probably never changed, and died that way.
Oof... This is disturbing as heck. :( I also has few situations too. 1. My classmate would told me to stop running cuz I have a pair of big boobs and how would the boys stared at them. Ugh It made me terrified to exercise ya know... -_- 2. I went to Arab. Then suddenly there is a shopper (I was 8 years old) said that I am pretty and when she is 16, give me I want to marry her. (It doesn't sound like a joke at all since its been normalised in Arab society (it doesn't have to do with religion as I am a muslim) Plus there are countless experience where woman in my religion wear full clothes to cover their skin, and still got harassed made me sick and furthermore in my country some men will blamed woman for the harassment because they thought the woman is wearing revealing clothes mean a green light for them. Da heck Is that? And even the religious are also the problem here. (NOT all of them ofc... some of them) are turned out to be fake and rape their nephew, niece, child, etc.
As long as they called 'human'... even though they religious, friendly, nice, kind but at the end they still has the 'lust' and 'greed' because we are human. That's why we need to knowledge to protect each other. :) stay safe yall.
Load More Replies...11. went into a ramen shop and some middle aged man followed me and made remarks about my breasts. I was by myself and scared I was going to get kidnapped. The owner did nothing. He followed me out and then I ran. Just because it isn't 'all men' it doesn't mean women are safe.
What really sucks about this for me is that most of these women had the sense to say something or even know that the way they were being treated was not ok. I was inappropriately touched by an older man at 7 yrs of age. Never told anyone. I didn't know. I developed normalcy for being treated like an object, because being liked by a guy was what made me a "woman"
Every single female member of my family has suffered sexual abuse or rape under the age of 18 years. The first time I felt uncomfortable? I was six, friend of the family took me and a friend back to his flat and molested us both and made us do things 6 year olds shouldn't. Luckily when my family found out about it the police were already involved and he was sent to prison (not for very long though). When my sister was raped at 17 the police didn't believe her as she was sexually active with her bf at the time (we live in the UK, 16 is the legal age of consent). Both instances happened in the 1980's. My family supported my sister as best they could and my mum had a breakdown because she couldn't protect her daughter from the same thing she went through as a kid at the hands of her uncle.
Lol I was 16 when I kinda felt weirding out. I was working at a swimming hall as wellness guard. I was always wearing long, tight pants, because I wasn't comfortable with showing my legs in shorter pants at that time. I always had some older guests to remark how hot I look in them. Like thanks but show me where I asked lol.
I'm curious how people would have reacted if it was a list of "when did black people start making you feel unsafe?" You shouldn't be demonizing an entire group based on the actions of a small group. Don't generalize based on gender anymore than you would generalize based on race.
Spotted the misogynistic-racist. White people passed laws to get away with murder, not Black people. 84% of white people are victimized by other white people and you’re here blaming Black people? White people are the majority of drug dealers and users, serial murderers, Sexual psychopaths, serial rapists, sexual sadists, sexual deviants, Stalkers ,obsession crimes, torture, we lead in incest, child p0rnography, arsonists, spree killers, abduction of children, US terrorism acts, police brutality convictions, hate crimes, mass murder, malpractice suits, convicted politicians. Killing parents is among our specialties. So in 1994, a white guy in New York killed his mom for serving the wrong pizza; a white kid in Alabama killed his parents with an axe and sledgehammer; and Rod Ferrell, leader of a “vampire cult” in Murray, Kentucky, bludgeoned another member's parents to death and along with the victims' daughter, drank their blood so as to “cross over to the gates of hell.” Which brings me to rule number one for identifying the race of criminals. If the crime involved vampirism, Satan worship, or cannibalism, you can bet your a*s the perp was whyte. Never fails. But you'll never hear anyone ask what it is about whyte parents that makes their children want to cut off their heads off.
Load More Replies...I'm a senior in high school and I get cat-called a lot. I may not have a big chest but it still happens to all girls. The youngest was when I was 8. Even at a young age, I had a big cake back there and some older men in a truck catcalled me, whistled, and try to call me attention. Luckily I was with my mom and she walked right next to me until the street light turn green and they left. I didn't understand at the time but all I could do was hold my head down.
Man, i must've been a mean little s**t. Any man that touched me either got an elbow (boyfriend's crude friend and an "uncle") or absolutely punched (boy in junior high who pinched me). I didn't feel unsafe or scared, but I was never wary either. I knew what I would do and it gave me a certain confidence. My parents also stood behind me and didn't allow that kind of thing.
When I was like 9 and a male photographer came to my school to take pictures to put around school of model children. Kept taking my photo. There were like 7 pictures of me by myself.
It's common for photographers to take multiple pictures of one person to try to get the best picture. It doesn't mean he was keeping them for himself.
Load More Replies...I remember my uncle slapping my butt as he walked past me one time when he was visiting, I was maybe 6 or 7; wben I was around 13/14 I was walking home and a car of older teenage boys drove past me, honking the horn, whistling, and cat-calljng at me; when I was around 15 the father of the kids I was babysitting started play fighting/throwing punches w me (he knew I took karate and was a brown belt). I ended up on the floor on my back (I don't remember how I ended up that way), and he started to lean down over me. I don't remember if he had tried to tickle me when we were "throwing punches", but at that moment I was scared he was going to tickle me or just lay down on top of me. I just kicked up w my leg and he stopped about an inch short of my foot kicking him in the balls. He backed off immediately. His wife, the kids mom, was on the couch watching this and laughing. I never got any feeling or heard or saw anything to even hint or raise the thought that he had ever done anything to his kids, but I made sure I was never in a room alone w him and I never joked, talked to, or even smiled at the man again. I was so relieved when I heard the parents got divorced a couple years later, even though by then the family had moved and I was no longer their babysitter.
I always wore leggings underneath my skirts when i turned 13. My family made comments on how i had a big butt and it made me uncomfortable.
when i was younger, maybe 6-8, i went to the "club" (gym) with my dad and we went outside to the tennis court. i'm not sure if this was creepy or not or whatever but i remember being quite uncomfortable. i was talking about how i went to the opera once on a school trip. there were a couple men there talking with my dad and one of them looked down at me and he went "YOU were in the opera? i'm not surprised."
The Rules For Being A Girl deals with this pretty well, especially about casual sexism and people not believing you. Please always look up trigger warnings before reading!
Not me but a child: went round to my good friends house, she has three Kids, youngest was 1.5yr old female. She had a new boarder, but someone our group of friends had known a fair while. Anyway, her daughter had been acting a bit strangely, but on this visit took my hand, tried to lead me to a bedroom. I said 'no sweetie let's go play in the lounge'. She climbed up onto the bed and got in and patted next to her. My stomach dropped. I was only 19 myself and not a mum yet but I knew that was not normal for that wee girl, and I had a gut feeling. Told the mum. Boarder did a runner. I lost touch with my friend but I hope so much that I was wrong, but I'm glad I said something because I knew it wasn't right. (Just like another woman I flatted with got a new nd, he looked at her kids wrong. Like, ogling. No-one believed me, my then bf got angry at me for being suspicious. But I made sure that from the day she started dating him, I hung around and was ALWAYS present when she ...
...would leave him in charge of the kids and go out. I was unemployed so I could be there, always watching over the kids. It annoyed him, he wanted me to go out. Fwd two months, one day he's gone. Vanished. No one was at home but me. Then after an hour or two my bf and a few other mates burst into the house "Where is he!!". Turns out he had finally listened to me, and looked him up on the register. He was there under a different name, prolific paedophile. I think he cottoned on to them figuring it out and ran. The mum and kids as it turned out were out shopping. But I'm so glad I listened to my gut, but angry that I didn't do more and sooner. And I don't understand how no-one could see what was so obvious to me
Load More Replies...I also had to stop reading. I was a late bloomer and inherited quite a large nose from my father. I still remember being mocked by boys and men when I was a teenager. Even my uncle once looked at me laughed and said "God, you're ugly." I was 14 and so insecure I even tried to pretend reading a book walking down the street so I didn't have to look up or draw the attention of teenage boys. When I got older and started looking more and more female and attractive suddenly adult men tried to talk to me, walked after me and so on. Always was scared when I had to pass a construction site because you could be a 100% sure the workers would howl or whistle and comment on your body. I cannot count how often my butt got touched when I went to a club at night. I hardly ever told anyone. I'm in my 40s now and sometimes still feel a little insecure but thankfully it got better the older I became. Also I'm glad those things became more and more inacceptable but they still happen.
Teach your sons to respect women and girls before you lecture your daughters.
I promise I will always believe any child or woman from here on and do my best to help in any way they want.
The worst part about these stories is that the adults who were supposed to step up and help these girls did nothing AT BEST, and outright sided with their tormentors or joined in with said tormentors far too often. How can we call ourselves civilized when we've normalized blatant child abuse and demonize those children who speak up about it?
5 - I remember feeling uncomfortable because grown men catcalled me and tried flirting with me which I did not understand back then... Been 7 or 8 when another man (art teacher at the daycare I attended) tried to lure me into his home. He first asked me to volunteer in his art project, which I naivly did. Then he took me out for hot chocolate to the restaurant in the building where the art class was held as a reward - I went because did not know better. I am absolutely sure he would have gone further had my mother not shown up and taken me home from the restaurant... Thank God she tracked me down when I failed to show up at home on time...
When I was 18 a load of us from college did a 3 legged pub crawl in drag. I got very drunk, left the sponsorship form in pub 11 and ran back to get it. I then forgot where pub 12 was so decided to walk home along country roads (in my girlfriend's mini skirt and kitten heels), a car started slowly following me along the road which was frankly freaking me out. Eventually he pulled up beside me and said "excuse luv, can you tell me where {random place} is?". In my deepest Sarf London voice I said "sorry mate, I ain't got a clue". He wheelspun off. My point is, I get it, if I'd been a 5ft girl rather than a 6'2" guy I'd have been terrified and things may well have turned out differently. That's why if I'm walking home at night I'll cross to the other side of the road to try and alleviate your fear, if I think someone is following you I'll try to ask them for directions to distract them, if I hear a female scream at night I don't mind investigating even if it's just you messing around.
When my adult older brother (13 years older than me) at age 16 asked me to let him kiss including heavy petting. ie, make out. I'll never forgive him. His wife was at church LDS, young women's meeting at the time.
The mormon/lds church encourages narcissistic behavior in men, and codependent/victim behavior in the women. In the mormon town I grew up in they also sheltered pedophiles from any repercussions.
Load More Replies...I was four. My sister was nine. Our one relative-by-marriage started teasing her about her nascent breasts. (She developed a bit early.) I wanted to hide and never go near him again. Wasn't even me, but his piggy eyes and leer... UGH.
I was 11 or 12. I was skipping through an airport, and a teenager, 15 to 17, said "Yeah get it!" It made me want to curl up in a ball and cease to exist. When I was 13, someone wolf whisled at me. When I was 14, a boy, who had seen me in a bra and skirt and touched my bra (I was being miked for a play) told me days after that he had a crush on me. When I was 15, a guy stared silently at my a$$ as I got stuff out of my locker. I'm 16 now, and I'm afraid of what comes next.
Age 5. A neighbor boy tried to get me to show him my vagina. I didn't even know what body part he was talking about until he grabbed my skirt and tried to yank my underwear down. Males like that start young. This one harassed me in school for years until I had finally had ENOUGH and kicked him in the groin as hard as I could in 3d grade. NO ONE gets away with harassing me now. Men who don't understand boundaries understand public humiliation, so when I'm harassed in public as an adult, I make it the business of everyone within 100 meters.
I actually realized I‘m not a boy anymore when I realized that late at night women would see me as a threat. I wasn’t being creepy. I just had the same way home as that one girl and and she kept checking if I would attack her.
I was 6. I had a toy clock that I was playing with my mum at a seaside town we were visiting for the day. My dad was somewhere else with my older sister. A man with a dog was watching us & kept moving closer. Me loving animals started looking over & talking to the dog. My mum notices him staring at me & starts to leave. We go to the train station where we meet my dad & sister. Man with dog has followed my mum thinking we were on our own. He gets on the same train carriage & sits near me still staring. He tries to talk to me then about the clock. My Dad is sitting separately & Mum tells Dad what’s going on & my Dad immediately threatens him. Guy starts apologising & immediately gets off next stop. That’s the day my childhood ended & I was told there were men out there that wanted me to do bad things to little kids like me.
When I stopped feeling comfortable: Age 5 or 6, I was told I couldn't wear shorts or tight pants at my GREAT-UNCLE's house. When I stopped feeling safe: Age 8 or 9, I was blatantly stared at and hit on by a man that could have been my great-grandpa, who made inappropriate jokes about my choice of a snack (ice cream sandwich). It was at Dollar Tree. I developed relatively early, but I was clearly a small child, so just wtf.
It happens to boys too, I know a few examples. Myself I don't even know how old I was, a child, younger than 12. and it was my moms bf at the time.
I have so many words but none to describe the atrocity of being born female.
When I was 11, I was at a youth group. They where playing murder mystery, and I got bored, so I started walking around the building, and sat in the lobby. Another kid followed me, and me and him talked for a bit. There where pens, so I was drawing on myself and he was standing behind me, looking over my shoulder at the drawing, he was nice. It's funny that I remember that so peacefully, not scared or anything, perfectly fine. Then he went way for about five minutes, then came back, saying he wanted to show me something. I, not thinking anything of it, other than a strange feeling in my gut, followed him, to the game-room, lights all off. all of the others where in a different room. He walked up to the closet and turned the light on, gesturing to the boxes 'there is something under there,' he said, luckly, I knew something was wrong, and later I learned that was attempted rape, but let's get on with the REST of the story.... I didn't go into the closet, thank god. and I went back to.
Clarification, he was going to rape me in the closet, and if I had gone in, It would have happened.
Load More Replies...I was about 6 and on my bike. A guy in a van stops and asks me if I wanted some candy. Yes, the stereotype is true. This happened to me in the mid 70's. I remember being terrified and holding up a little bag of candy that I just bought and said, "I already have some" and I peddled away really fast. I told my parents what happened, but nothing came of it.
I'll never forget the moment it happened to me. I was ten. Started getting phone calls when my parents wern't home from a man who said all kinds of horrible sexual things to me, very violent threats. My older brother would answer the phone and threaten him back. Then one time my parents hired a young man to watch us, and when he spoke I recognised his voice....the voice from the phone calls. I hid behind the couch the whole night
The worst thing about this article was how many parents took the terrible person's side. Even their own parents think it's completely normal and something that's not a huge deal. No one realizes how bad it is until they're traumatized by something like that, and it completely breaks my heart for these people.
A few days ago , A guy pulled my sister's skirt , when she told everyone in my family , I and my grandpa were furious , but others laughed and said " He's just a kid . Kid's dont know anything". Never hated my family this much before.... Cause I knew the pain . In my previous school , The doors were broken and boys would come into the girls bathroom . I litreally locked myself and cried for hours when I saw my parents take it as a joke . Never been so f*****g disappointed
Aged 5: stated by my uncles friend, 'that's a pretty name for a pretty girl.' Aged 12: told to me by a stranger 'No one will shag because your a fat f****ing s**g'. Aged 13/14: some guy in our group hugged me from behind and then put his hand on my private area. We were in public. Aged 15: walking home from school in a school uniform and being wolf whistled. Aged 21: meet my bio dad for the first time and he commented on the size of my breasts and then wanted to hold hands with me. Aged 24: walking down the street on a Friday night, my friend and I approached by 2 men asking if we wanted sex. When we said no and walked off they followed us down the street and shouted we were English slags. So many examples...
I remember earlier experiences, but I’ll share the one that happened this year. I was at a restaurant, with my family and some guys from another country that worked with my dad. One of them was in front of me, and every time i sat back and was looking away, i would feel being watched and when i looked to the man, he would look away. Caught him looking at my breasts twice but didn’t say anything. I was 12/11 at the time
Probably 6 or 7 (so this was the early '70s). We lived on a dead end road with maybe 30 houses on it, so we knew all our neighbors. I was doing gymnastics in our front yard when a strange car drove by and turned around in the cul-de-sac. He stopped in front of our house, opened the passenger door, and motioned me to get in the car. I turned around and ran into the house while he swore loudly and with a great deal of frustration. Even then, I knew I escaped a fate worse than death.
im 14 currently. started feeling uncomfortable a few weeks ago around this one kid in my history class that sits next to me. it feels like he always is finding an excuse to touch me and talk to me about needing d*ck... one time he ran his pencil up and down my thigh....
Record and report. Especially record youself asking him to stop. I hate that we need video to be believed, but at least it's now an option.
Load More Replies...When I was about 7 and my friend's dad and brother asked me if I was any good at BJs (I didn't know what they were and then I felt sick when I found out)
I was 2. An uncle touched me and attempted intercourse. I told my mother as best I could. She told me to go back and play like a good little girl. I was also molested for years by another uncle and a lot of unwanted attention from other males. I'm a pretty, big busted redhead. I'm 60 now and suffer ptsd among other issues.
A comment vaguely in defense of the little boys. Vaguely. 6 year old boys who are looking up girls skirts aren't doing it for sexual reasons. They are doing it because they know it is "naughty" and their little ADHD brains get entertained by breaking rules and annoying people. They don't even understand *why* it isn't ok, they just know that this behavior gets that reaction. The real problem is the adults who brush it off by saying "oh, little Johnny just likes you", instead of saying "Johnny, stop it, that is NOT ok".
The skirt lifting was very popular when I was in elementary school some 35 years ago and it is much older than that - the boys would shout "Deckel hoch, die Wäsche kocht!" and throw your skirt up. This yell means "Lift the lid, the washing is boiling!" thus it dates back to a time when the white washing was really boiled in a pot and not washed in a washing machine yet. That's a time none of us kids witnessed for ourselves so go figure who taught those little sh!ts in the early '80s this kind of behaviour - most likely their own parents or even grandparents!! It was not meant sexually, it was just to annoy the girls - and the more annoyed the girls got, the more it was done. I always wore shorts under my skirts and dresses - yes, I was never fun at parties, even as a child.
Load More Replies...10: I was at a sleepover with some friends and 2 boys. Before sleeping, they made jokes about "having fun with us" and shared stories about doing it in the past. We hid in the (very, very) small bathroom all night. Also, also at around 11, I was helping with nursery kids. Not only did they run around chasing kids all day making kissing of faces they chased art making sexual noises. KIDS. 5 YEAR OLD BOYS. This (although not as bad as the stuff on the rest of the list) is not ok. It needs to be stopped
12. I was riding home from dance with the car window down, and these two guys in the car next to ours nudge each other and stared at me. I remember feeling so terrified, realizing what the world was like.
Age 5, another 5 year old keeps wanting to pull me under the table. Eventually does and pulls my pants off and throw them across the room. My mum complains and teacher says that he has problems at home and does nothing. Age 6, a different boy wants to see 'what I'm like down there'. I get pulled out to a different (girls) school. Late teens, school janitor starts stalking me and a couple of other girls. At college, collect another stalker (he realised what he's doing, apologises). One after in East London, as a young married woman, get stalked by a guy in a car. Can't go home, eventually have to duck into the Underground so he can't follow me. And I'm someone who can honestly say that the menfolk I know as family and friends have all been decent blokes, I've never been sexually abused....but still distrust men in general because of early and then random experiences.
I've never been safe around men. Never. I was raped by multiple men in my family. First time I attempted suicide, I was 10. I am 60 now and have spent my life in baggy clothes and I still cannot stand to be touched. I hate being female, hate the constant gnawing, soul eating shame of it. Good luck to younger generations, I am nearly done with this life and I won't miss it when it's done
It was never your fault. Society needs to change. Punisment for rape must be harsh and severe. Whole lives of women are being destroyed. If things like that just don't happen imagine what women can achieve instead of wasting our lives for healing trauma and always watch our backs. Meanwhile men go carefree and even laugh at us. I really really want to say something supportive to you but I have no idea what. It took me years myself to heal from trauma and I am still mad. I think no one can ever be really healed from something like this. I see myself becoming a mysandrist and I am fine with it. If men can be openly sexist why can't we too. I feel for you.
Load More Replies...Unfortunately, the women in my family have dealt with this on many occasions. My aunt was almost raped by a cousin when she was a kid. My mom was molested by a deacon of her church and her stepfather when she was in middle school. My sister and I had to leave a hotel swimming pool because a guy was sitting on the side of the pool watching us. The seriousness of this last situation didn't hit me until recently: when I was a freshman in high school, an older guy would not leave me alone. He would put his hands between my legs or try to put my hands between his legs. He would tell me a lot of sexually inappropriate jokes and he always wanted to be touching me. I finally moved to the front of the room and sat between two male classmates and at that point, he left me alone. I didn't realize how uncomfortable what he did made me feel until a few months ago in therapy.
It's really sad when reading things like this that I become grateful that I've always been "the fat girl" and haven't experienced this.
I'm afraid even being fat doesn't make you safe- every woman I know including overweight women have been harassed and assaulted. I've been harassed myself and my bmi is 30. Sometimes its not about looks but power. Some people just like to see how far they can get.
Load More Replies...Year 6 health class when a boy told us about how his sister was almost raped
It was my father and younger brothers. My dad would always tell me that he would and tried to "teach me about sex". He tried to tell me multiple times that "his other dad friends" would tell him that they wanted to sleep with daughter bc they were "hot". It was a test to see if I would let him have his way me. He was a breast man and he was always watching my breasts and wouldn't be shy about it. My brothers were always grabbing my privates and Id fight them and try to get them to stop. But according to both my parents, they do absolutely nothing wrong.
I can’t remember how young I was. The first memory that I can recall was being sexually abused by a relative. We don’t know how long or how much he got away with. The only reason we know it happened more than once is when my mom caught him, the place was different then the place I remember he did it to me. She was furious. My dad and his mom flat out denied he did anything, even after my mom caught him. And then later my dad had an affair with his mom. So his sex life was more important than his daughter. I’m 25, I still have issues after years of counseling. He died a few weeks ago, and I cried. Not because I was grateful, but because he probably never changed, and died that way.
Oof... This is disturbing as heck. :( I also has few situations too. 1. My classmate would told me to stop running cuz I have a pair of big boobs and how would the boys stared at them. Ugh It made me terrified to exercise ya know... -_- 2. I went to Arab. Then suddenly there is a shopper (I was 8 years old) said that I am pretty and when she is 16, give me I want to marry her. (It doesn't sound like a joke at all since its been normalised in Arab society (it doesn't have to do with religion as I am a muslim) Plus there are countless experience where woman in my religion wear full clothes to cover their skin, and still got harassed made me sick and furthermore in my country some men will blamed woman for the harassment because they thought the woman is wearing revealing clothes mean a green light for them. Da heck Is that? And even the religious are also the problem here. (NOT all of them ofc... some of them) are turned out to be fake and rape their nephew, niece, child, etc.
As long as they called 'human'... even though they religious, friendly, nice, kind but at the end they still has the 'lust' and 'greed' because we are human. That's why we need to knowledge to protect each other. :) stay safe yall.
Load More Replies...11. went into a ramen shop and some middle aged man followed me and made remarks about my breasts. I was by myself and scared I was going to get kidnapped. The owner did nothing. He followed me out and then I ran. Just because it isn't 'all men' it doesn't mean women are safe.
What really sucks about this for me is that most of these women had the sense to say something or even know that the way they were being treated was not ok. I was inappropriately touched by an older man at 7 yrs of age. Never told anyone. I didn't know. I developed normalcy for being treated like an object, because being liked by a guy was what made me a "woman"
Every single female member of my family has suffered sexual abuse or rape under the age of 18 years. The first time I felt uncomfortable? I was six, friend of the family took me and a friend back to his flat and molested us both and made us do things 6 year olds shouldn't. Luckily when my family found out about it the police were already involved and he was sent to prison (not for very long though). When my sister was raped at 17 the police didn't believe her as she was sexually active with her bf at the time (we live in the UK, 16 is the legal age of consent). Both instances happened in the 1980's. My family supported my sister as best they could and my mum had a breakdown because she couldn't protect her daughter from the same thing she went through as a kid at the hands of her uncle.
Lol I was 16 when I kinda felt weirding out. I was working at a swimming hall as wellness guard. I was always wearing long, tight pants, because I wasn't comfortable with showing my legs in shorter pants at that time. I always had some older guests to remark how hot I look in them. Like thanks but show me where I asked lol.
I'm curious how people would have reacted if it was a list of "when did black people start making you feel unsafe?" You shouldn't be demonizing an entire group based on the actions of a small group. Don't generalize based on gender anymore than you would generalize based on race.
Spotted the misogynistic-racist. White people passed laws to get away with murder, not Black people. 84% of white people are victimized by other white people and you’re here blaming Black people? White people are the majority of drug dealers and users, serial murderers, Sexual psychopaths, serial rapists, sexual sadists, sexual deviants, Stalkers ,obsession crimes, torture, we lead in incest, child p0rnography, arsonists, spree killers, abduction of children, US terrorism acts, police brutality convictions, hate crimes, mass murder, malpractice suits, convicted politicians. Killing parents is among our specialties. So in 1994, a white guy in New York killed his mom for serving the wrong pizza; a white kid in Alabama killed his parents with an axe and sledgehammer; and Rod Ferrell, leader of a “vampire cult” in Murray, Kentucky, bludgeoned another member's parents to death and along with the victims' daughter, drank their blood so as to “cross over to the gates of hell.” Which brings me to rule number one for identifying the race of criminals. If the crime involved vampirism, Satan worship, or cannibalism, you can bet your a*s the perp was whyte. Never fails. But you'll never hear anyone ask what it is about whyte parents that makes their children want to cut off their heads off.
Load More Replies...I'm a senior in high school and I get cat-called a lot. I may not have a big chest but it still happens to all girls. The youngest was when I was 8. Even at a young age, I had a big cake back there and some older men in a truck catcalled me, whistled, and try to call me attention. Luckily I was with my mom and she walked right next to me until the street light turn green and they left. I didn't understand at the time but all I could do was hold my head down.
Man, i must've been a mean little s**t. Any man that touched me either got an elbow (boyfriend's crude friend and an "uncle") or absolutely punched (boy in junior high who pinched me). I didn't feel unsafe or scared, but I was never wary either. I knew what I would do and it gave me a certain confidence. My parents also stood behind me and didn't allow that kind of thing.
When I was like 9 and a male photographer came to my school to take pictures to put around school of model children. Kept taking my photo. There were like 7 pictures of me by myself.
It's common for photographers to take multiple pictures of one person to try to get the best picture. It doesn't mean he was keeping them for himself.
Load More Replies...I remember my uncle slapping my butt as he walked past me one time when he was visiting, I was maybe 6 or 7; wben I was around 13/14 I was walking home and a car of older teenage boys drove past me, honking the horn, whistling, and cat-calljng at me; when I was around 15 the father of the kids I was babysitting started play fighting/throwing punches w me (he knew I took karate and was a brown belt). I ended up on the floor on my back (I don't remember how I ended up that way), and he started to lean down over me. I don't remember if he had tried to tickle me when we were "throwing punches", but at that moment I was scared he was going to tickle me or just lay down on top of me. I just kicked up w my leg and he stopped about an inch short of my foot kicking him in the balls. He backed off immediately. His wife, the kids mom, was on the couch watching this and laughing. I never got any feeling or heard or saw anything to even hint or raise the thought that he had ever done anything to his kids, but I made sure I was never in a room alone w him and I never joked, talked to, or even smiled at the man again. I was so relieved when I heard the parents got divorced a couple years later, even though by then the family had moved and I was no longer their babysitter.
I always wore leggings underneath my skirts when i turned 13. My family made comments on how i had a big butt and it made me uncomfortable.
when i was younger, maybe 6-8, i went to the "club" (gym) with my dad and we went outside to the tennis court. i'm not sure if this was creepy or not or whatever but i remember being quite uncomfortable. i was talking about how i went to the opera once on a school trip. there were a couple men there talking with my dad and one of them looked down at me and he went "YOU were in the opera? i'm not surprised."
The Rules For Being A Girl deals with this pretty well, especially about casual sexism and people not believing you. Please always look up trigger warnings before reading!