This is just so very sad for everyone involved. I agree with the person who suggested the Dad take April in for emergency pediatric mental health evaluation before she escalates hurts herself or that baby! The therapist is unable to adequately assess April because she won’t speak to them. That makes me nervous. I learned in my psychology training to beware of the quiet ones the most.

Continued.. "Psych-camp / residential living" for step-daughter. I have seen close-up the long-term benefits for this with 2 young people. One is a niece. It was hell at the time yet these young people are happy, successful and part of their families now.

Talking about HURTING THE BABY puts this into a whole different category. I have known families with atrocious sibling rivalries but I would be very cautious around this girl. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING. These people all need serious psychiatric help, probably meds, and maybe residential treatment for the girl.

I agree that this child has a serious problem, and is a physical danger to the baby. She needs to be locked up until they can sort her out. This simply isn't normal behavior.

Welcome to the joys of raising a teenager. She is welcome to be upset, throw tantrums, be ugly to you and your husband all she wants ... this is good practice for your baby if she hits the teens ... what she definetely does not get to do is breaking the family apart. Believe me ... letting her do this would damage her the most. Time to take the gloves off. Your husband has to sit her down and tell her exactly that. He needs to communicate to her that the two of you love her no matter what. She has the oiwer to have a good family life or not. The power to destroy the family she has not .

While it is very difficult and expensive, I would suggest in-patient or "ps

Is daughter fine mentally? Besided concerning behaviour after her brother was born? It sounds like some disorder, at 13, she might not like it, but she should already know that this behaviour isn't OK and it won't lead to anything good.

13 is too old to still be behaving like this. Yes it's horrible that she lost her mom, but she needs consequences for her actions - not more therapy. Frankly if she was my kid I'd tell her that she needs to shape up or she'll be sent to boarding school for those with discipline issues. My brother ended up in a place like that and it was the only thing that turned him around.

Boarding school - problem solved.

I'm curious if there is anything within their home that pays homage to April's mother. Nothing within the post mentions it and I wonder if April is feeling the trauma of losing one parent and seemingly the other parent has completely moved on without considering how his child might feel about it.

Lmao at the YTA who said they should have consulted her before getting pregnant. What a load of c**p! What if she had said "no"? Then they're doomed to never having more kids because of what the daughter wants?

My sister was out of control once she hit puberty. My mother and I managed by avoiding her whenever possible and walking on eggshells when we couldn't. She would yell and scream and break things over anything that didn't go 100% her way. We can laugh about it now, but I wouldn't go through that again for anything. No one should have to.

This girl is holding an entire family hostage, and quite frankly, a danger to that baby! She needs to be told in no uncertain terms that her behavior is abhorrent and won't be tolerated! Inpatient psych help may be your only hope, but considering how manipulative and explosive she is it could backfire on you, further endangering the baby! I have 5 children, and my middle son was very much like her; angry, threatening, hurt, etc. I tried EVERYTHING and eventually had to put the safety of my younger children and myself first and have him removed from the home when he was 16. He returned after 3 years living on his own, in his car, at friends' and THANKED me! He said I did the right thing, that he WAS out of control and my kicking him out was the best thing I could have done for him. Your step daughter is manipulative, dangerous and angry...a lethal cocktail. She needs to know that there are consequences for her behavior. Consequences that will be quick, severe, and rock solid.

Send her to a boarding school

The brat needs to be sectioned and assessed. She's not normal and very dangerous.

People will flame me, but there is a place with teenagers for straightforward punishment. Not a slap on the wrist either. Bio mom passed when she was FIVE, she barely knew her and probably doesn't even remember anything about her, so this response is pure possessiveness over her father. If she won't talk to a therapist and feels comfortable issuing threats, it's time to get stern with her. One threat, ONE threat, should end all fun in life for a good long while, and strip her of all electronics/toys/computers. Medication should also be considered, especially since therapy is a bust. She can learn better, but she WON'T if she's enabled or barely slapped on the wrist for big offenses. If she can't improve, a live in rehabilitation camp should be considered. Let her see what life without her nice family is really like.

If the baby is only four months old, they haven't been trying therapy very long. If OP feels the baby is in danger, live separately for a while. Divorce seems extreme, since husband is really trying, but if OP doesn't want to be married, then don't stay married. Therapy takes time, staying silent for one session and then switching therapists, only reinforces to the child that they can get out of therapy with 50 minutes of silence. It's a bad situation, but if she started therapy the week after the kid was born it's been. Less than a school term whatever is going on with her is not going to be healed in 4 months, or a year.

My mother remarried when I was in the second grade. Thank you to the universe they never wanted a 'we' child. I would not have handled it well. After mom died, eventually my stepdad remarried, and although we aren't close, he is the only dad I've ever really had. I'm a grown adult. I see him with his new wife, and her two daughters, and they are the type of daughters he always wanted. Quiet, polite, fit in, make no waves, vanilla. That has never been my sister and me we are awkward and loud. Even as an adult it hurts watching him with a new family and moving on. We get courtesy phone calls and they get daily interaction. They know him way better than us. I would do nothing to hurt that because I can see he needed it, and he is kind of a limited person. Doesn't make it hurt less. I feel for this kid. No one is stable at 13. No one is going to be made more stable when they feel like they aren't part of a family and in fact are the problem. You can't punish her into feeling like a family.

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I’m stepchild whose mother died when I was abt stepchild’s current age and just like her my father remarried way too quickly. I have to say it’s really complex. First is that all the folks blaming the daughter are arses and should have some compassion. Secondly we know nothing of the dynamics in the family, even though it seems as if they are trying. But we really know nothing and stepparent may well be not as nice as portrayed. Third the girl was about the same age as my sister when my mother died and she never recovered completely. She felt abandoned by her father, mother, and grieved her whole life even though she has a successful life in other respects. Last is that the father MUST do something to ensure his daughter’s future, including having a will that expressly states that she is entitled to a quarter of the joint estate if he should die. Stepchildren have no rights to inheritance if there is no will as all the estate would go to the spouse and spouse may not care.

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0 context given for how the step mother is treating the kid. Are they shoving religion down her throat? I she imposing her lifestyle/ideals/beliefs on the kid? Kids don't get into that mental headspace unprompted. Hostility from teenagers, real hostility, is usually earned, and without info from the OP my money's on the parents being the problem.

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It might be helpful to disrupt the dynamic possibly by getting a puppy for her to love and bond with... they would have a special unit within the bigger context. She can find a special relationship with something that asks nothing from her but needs her love.