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“I Broke My Parents Up”: 30 Of The Worst Things People Accidentally Did As Kids
Children are notorious for their ability to get themselves into troublesome situations. So, it’s no surprise that their actions often result in some quite unfavorable outcomes for those around them as well. And whether they entail minor inconveniences or something way more substantial, the heroes of the story might only come to realize the significance of their actions years later.
Quite a few members of the ‘Ask Reddit’ community took a walk down memory lane after one of them asked about the worst things they unknowingly did as children. Redditors’ answers covered all sorts of situations, from separating one’s parents to pitchforking a neighbor, and beyond. Scroll down to find them and see what other unfortunate situations from their childhood people remember to this day.
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#1
When I was about 8 I asked my dad if we could play "the naked man game." My dad, trying not to panic, asked me what it was. I responded "it's the one we play when [the babysitter] is over." He then asked me to show him where the naked man game was, so I took him to the closet, opened the door, and pointed up to Operation.
He told me years later that he nearly had a heart attack.
Mohsie Supposie 2 years ago
Sounds like the dad played a VERY DIFFERENT naked man game when the babysitter was over!
Marie-Pierre Adam 2 years ago
Nah man ! The babysitter was obviously male and the dad thought the kids were being abused !
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Jared Robinson 2 years ago
I nearly had a heart attack reading this and I had clear foreshadowing of how innocent it was.
SuperChicken 2 years ago
In grade school, one of my friends used to bring that and we'd play during lunch time. I asked my parents to buy me one, but they never did.
RELATED:
#2
I dry humped the sofa while my parents watched in silent horror. I thought I was the first person to discover that rubbing my penis on things felt good. Many pieces of furniture fell victim to my testing. I discovered that the sofa was the best and I had to show my parents. I couldn't keep this to myself! I told them to come to the living room. I had something amazing to show them. I didn't just sexual assault their couch. I was teaching a class on it. Offering to let my dad have a go. They just stood there. It haunts me to this day. I have never asked them about it. They must have thought they were raising a sexual predator.
Aboredpanda 2 years ago (edited)
😂 Saw some weird kid sexual behavior when I worked in a kindergarden too, the kids think it's completely normal. Mostly we just initially let the kids in order not to shame them, or create shame around sexuality for them in the future, but taught them that we do these things alone (not in front of others) so to go to the bathroom. AFTER discussing it amongst ourselves and with leadership, looking it up research wise, and talking to the parents, of course. Was a lot of laughter in the lunchroom over these things, it was super awkward. 😂
BW Gibson 2 years ago
"... the kids think it's completely normal." Uh, yeah, bc it is.
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Snorky The Pig 2 years ago
The way you told this story was comedy gold 😂 thanks for the laugh before work!
David 2 years ago
This has me in tears! I had (relative) who went through a phase like this and we had to keep reminding them not to hump the furniture. They eventually outgrew it. We didn't care if they masturbated in private. The problem was they would start doing it where ever while having a conversation. Corner of the dining room table, arm of a chair - whatever. And they seemed sort of unaware they were doing it the way some kids will casually pick their nose.
brittany 2 years ago
this happened to my brother, but i was the one who told bio mom about it., we were raised in a cult that taught that such things were bad (werent even supposed to be given the sex talk till after marriage) now my bio mom did explain somewhat about sex, periods, etc but it was always veiled in awful shame. caught my brother doing the couch thing and recognized it as "bad" so i did what i thought i was supposed to and told bio mom. she made me act it out in front of her on my bed (not in front of my brother) , shamed my brother for what he did and shamed me for acting it out (even though she told me to). i cried while being forced to show her. it was humiliating. i stopped telling her things after that. religious trauma sucks
AK to LV 2 years ago
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I hope you're doing better now.
Load More Replies... #3
I almost let my younger stepbrother drown. I (8 yr old) was supposed to be holding his(2yr old) hand while we were at lake fishing. He yanked out of my grasp and took off full sprint into the water. My stepmom had to go diving in after him. They blamed it on me but as an adult with kids about that same age, I would never trust a 8 year old to watch a toddler around a body of water. So it’s their fault.
BluEyedSeoulite 2 years ago
100% shifting the blame. My 3yo straight up walked into the pool last month and was shocked she went underwater, even with life vest on. It wasn't the first time she had done that either
That Goth Demon (zey/zem) 2 years ago
Toddlers have crazy thought processes lol
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Monday 2 years ago
100% Toddlers are wild. There's no way a kid can be put in charge of their safety.
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Sharkie 2 years ago
I was 3yo when I was supposed to hold my almost 2yo sister... She wandered away, I could not stop her. And I remember crying because "she will die and it is my fault". She managed to be away for a few hours but she was ok. I had horrible nightmares since that day.
Tiger Pearl 2 years ago
I was paying for a to-go order at a restaurant and my toddler son was right next to me. Took my eyes off of him for a couple moments to grab the food and he was out the door full on springing towards the busy road.
Tamiko 2 years ago
Takes seconds. I was between 3 to 5 years old when I jumped into the deep end of a pool while on holiday. Parents had only turned for a second to drop the towels down, and we'd been in the same spot before without me doing what I did. Luckily, I was both a good and strong swimmer even at that age, mixture of being taught to swim in both a pool and the sea. Think that was the day my Dad began going grey =D
Load More Replies... Snorky The Pig 2 years ago (edited)
Reminds me of the time when I was in a backyard camp with my sister, I was 7 and she was 3. We took a trip to the pool but the staff as well as the lifeguard were young and stupid and were just sitting around and chatting like there was no tomorrow. I was swimming around, back and forth, from the shallow to the deep and as I got closer to the deep, I noticed my younger sister (who couldn't swim and shouldn't have been in the deep) bobbing up and down, gasping and swinging her arms. Something was obviously wrong so I put her arm around my shoulder and got her back to the shallow. She was shaken, but thankfully okay. I only understood years later that I actually saved her from drowning. I wish adults were less stupid and didn't entrust the lives of vulnerable children to teenagers or other children. My sister was lucky, but I am sure there were others like her who weren't. Such situations are almost completely preventable with adequate adult supervision. Please remember that.
Jared Robinson 2 years ago
!00% parents fault owner of the pools fault fault of every adult present. NOT A CHILDS.
Emily Bradley 2 years ago
I had a very similar incident occur around the same age. I wasn’t particularly tasked with watching my sister in the water. Like I don’t remember anyone telling me to watch her. But we were splashing around and I turned around and saw her floating face down. I immediately scooped her up and carried her up to my mom. No one was upset with me. They were just glad I noticed and brought her to them.
SnackbarKaat 2 years ago
My mum asked me to hold my sister on the stairs. I was 5 or 6 years old, she couldn't walk alone yet. I held her with one finger. Ofcourse, she fell all the way down the stairs.
#4
I called it "the wolf game." I'd stand halfway between my house and the woods and howl, and see how many wolves I could get to show up. My record was three before common sense kicked in... I should not have survived to adulthood lol.
Do i have to? [he/him] 2 years ago
What noise do you have to make for the bears?
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Jared Robinson 2 years ago
One of us, one of us, one of us. part of the pack, part of the woods.
Satan Laughs 2 years ago
Oh wow, OP, that took balls. Wolves?! That’s a new level of Disney princess.
#5
I broke my parents up.
I asked my Mum if I could have dinner at my "Aunt Christie"'s house again because she cooked my favourite pasta. Turns out Mum didn't know who "Aunt Christie" was - which is because she wasn't really my aunt, she was the co-worker my Dad was sleeping with.
John L 2 years ago
Maybe it's just me, but I think it was stupid to cheat to begin with...so, why not more idiocy?
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SuperChicken 2 years ago
How stupid can he get to bring his child to his mistress' house. And, please, don't ever think you broke your parents up.
Marley Nachi 2 years ago
OP didn't break the parents up. The dad lit the fuse to that time bomb.
Ashen Mccann (They/Them) 2 years ago
you didnt break them up, your dad did, you just helped your mom find out which is a good thing because him lying would be worse
David 2 years ago
PSA to anyone who is not daycare worker / teacher. Young children repeat EVERYTHING. My friend was a kindergarten teacher for years and boy does she have some stories. We laugh now, she is long since retired, but the truth behind some of the stories is rather sad. Other times it was just embarrassing family stuff best left at home.
#6
I used to spend several weeks out of every summer staying with my aunt and uncle. I got to play with my cousin, and presumably my single father got to take a break. One year, on the day I was due to come home, I called and asked permission to stay another week, and he agreed. After I went home, a family friend told me they had been at my house the week before...for my surprise welcome home party. Dad bought a cake, decorated, and bbq'd. This was a man who did not entertain or demonstrate affection. True to character, he never told me about the party he attempted.
Edit: Thanks for the heart to heart, reddit. To clarify, this was the 80's, before cell phones, so rescheduling the day of would have been difficult, plus just inconvenient to everyone who had agreed to attend. He could've made me come home, but the point is that he didn't, because he didn't want to disappoint me. I was still in HS when he died, so not mature enough to recognize how hard he tried sometimes. Glad to hear so many of you will be calling your dads.
Scrupulous Panda 2 years ago
This gave me the feels. It reminded me of a time when my stepfather (my dad passed when I was 6) came to my school at lunch to take me flying with him. He got his pilot license about 6 months earlier and flying was the one thing that we bonded over. That day I was on a school field trip. He never let me skip school. It still makes me sad that I wasn't there. I have great memories going fun places on a Saturday with him, but he never tried to surprise me and let me skip school again. :(
EarthGrowl 2 years ago
My dad had been a forward scout in Korea and a U.S. Army drill Sergeant. You'd think I'd had a strict upbringing. I received zero discipline. This was in the 1970's and 80's when schools in the south still thought it was OK to spank kids. I was 11 the first time a teacher tried to spank me for simply talking in class. I still don't know where I found the courage to tell the teacher she wasn't spanking me because my own parents didn't spank me. Those poor fools called my dad from work at the Air Force base to come deal with his brat of a daughter. It's important to note that my dad was 5 foot 5 inches and weighed around 140 pounds. Our school principal was 6 foot 4. I had never seen the Drill Sergeant in my dad until that day. My dad's voice was echoing down the halls as he chewed the principal's head off, then my dad went after the school board. Teachers weren't allowed to spank any students after that. It was amazing!
#7
The worst one was taking my mothers "personal massager" to school for show and tell as i was a fairly literal child and thats what it said on the packaging, it wasn't obviously a marital aide as it was one of the more "bullet" options. However my at the time **FEMALE** teacher knew exactly what that was and took it away from me and called my mother to let her know as delicately as possible what i had taken to school. It wasn't until i was much older that I realized what i had done! my mother gets a good laugh out of that one though for sure! **EDIT** and now my most rated comment is about my mothers dildo, im sure she would be so proud!
Eastendbird 2 years ago
Cudos to the teacher for how she handled this....aaaand now I realise that sounds dirty. I mean for how she dealt with the situation.
Nika Strokappe 1 year ago
Wow, I am almost shocked that BP is not censoring this, where it would usually sensor even words such as die or drugs...
Mickie Shea 2 years ago
Yes, mothers and dildos are good friends. Strange, that my wife became a mom with a dildo?
#8
I don't know if it's the worst but I ruined my parents romantic anniversary.
I was around 7 and I woke up in the middle of the night because my stomach didn't feel well. So I went upstairs to tell my parents.
When I opened their door I remember there were candles, music playing and when my mom saw me she immediately pulled a blanket around herself.
She asked my what I was doing up and before I could even finish my sentence I projectile vomited all over everything.
SkyBlueandBlack 2 years ago
Plot twist: they spiked the kid's dinner so they could be sure kid was asleep, and it backfired.
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#9
I got pissed off at my parents and yelled "FUCK YOU!" at them. The next day I told a friend of mine "I fucked my dad last night," because that's what I thought fucking someone was to tell them "fuck you."
That Goth Demon (zey/zem) 2 years ago
Shhhhhhhh dont alert the censor fairies
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AndThenICommented 2 years ago
When my kiddo was 4 they thought f**k meant found…she was ‘f**king’ everything! We had to start watching our words after that 😂
Ellie Hope 2 years ago
When I wrote the word w***y it was censored how has this slipped the net?!!
cj be like 10 months ago
Brave kid!! I'm a teen and can't even say shut up to my parents without getting in trouble (they're good parents, just my mom is very sensitive about language)
Mickie Shea 2 years ago
You will go on to write suspicious novels of family relations, perhaps.
#10
My uncle and his new wife came over to visit late one night when I was about 6. I was supposed to be in bed so the adults could enjoy visiting but I was determined to stay up and see what was going on, so I asked my mom in front of everybody if I could have a snack before bed, even though I’d never had bedtime snacks. My mom was strict about eating right, so of course she said no and told me to go back to bed. I decided to make a scene and lay in the floor begging for food, saying I hadn’t eaten in ages, that I was starving and ask for just one raisin. My new aunt watched, horrified, as my mom stayed firm and dragged me back to bed as I fake cried and begged her not to beat me. I was a very skinny child due to illness, so my aunt probably thought I really was being abused, but the truth is that I had good parents, I was just a little s**t sometimes.
Mikey Kliss 2 years ago
My kids almost 3 and I've heard quite a few lies from him already
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Cathy Jo Baker 2 years ago
"the truth is that I had good parents, I was just a little s**t sometimes." Isn't that the truth! I'm grateful for having good parents!
bob cameron 2 years ago
The good times far out number the bad. Plus the God times always remain as good memories while time and distance often at the very least temper the rough patc.
Load More Replies... Tiger Pearl 2 years ago (edited)
The image this brings to mind 😂: https://moviesfilmsandflix.files.wordpress.com/2014/10/the-conjuring.jpg?w=584 *****sorry don’t know how to put in the actual pic! You can put the URL into virusTotal.com to scan for threats if you’d like!****
#11
I was about 7 when I made an enemy of my next door neighbour. I still dont see it as my fault that he had side chicks and side children and I didn't understand s**t about that. When one of his assorted children came to play I was like 'I was playing with your brother the other week'.
'What brother?'
'Oh you know, the one your dad has with that other lady'
Book smart street dumb, was me.
Not-a-Clue (she/her) 2 years ago (edited)
You can't be expected to understand or keep these kind of secrets at 7
#12
As a young little [airhead] my favorite prank was to lock bathroom stall doors and then crawl underneath them and exit the scene. One time, my parents dragged me to Costco with them. I went to the biggest stall in the back of the bathroom, locked that s**t and scampered away with a grin. I ended up going back to the same Costco the next day because my parents had to return something. I went to the same stall and it was still locked, this time I actually had to take a s**t. I crawled under the door only come face to face with an old guy looking at me like I was from another planet. I recoiled away so hard that I smacked my head on the bottom of the door and ran from that bathroom like I'd never run in my life. I crack myself up whenever I try to imagine what that guy was thinking when a 9 year old tried to hijack his toilet.
BluEyedSeoulite 2 years ago
I was using the bathroom in my dorm and a little kid did the same thing. I was very amused and she didn't seem old enough to be embarrassed
David 2 years ago
I can recall my grandkids being that age. Trying to look under the stall and talk to the person on the next toilet.
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Scotira 2 years ago
Asking from Europe: what's with those ridiculously large gaps on the stall doors in the US? I wouldn't mind a child climbing underneath it while playing, but those gaps are big enough for adults to climb in, that I would very much object to!
Jinx (she/her) 2 years ago (edited)
it's to prevent homeless people from sleeping or even just taking too much time in there, or drug addicts so they are less likely to imbibe while in there, and also in the event of emergency, an unconscious person can be noticed and dragged out under the door
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Mandy Delaforce (PC Girl) 2 years ago
Nothing worse than when a mum brings the kid in to the toilets and lets them poke their heads under the door. A few were very close to getting a foot in the face.
BookFanatic 2 years ago
Kids have zero concept of personal potty space. I walked into the two-stall ladies' room at work to find a little girl doing her business with her stall door wide open. And singing "Let it Go" from Frozen. I walked back out and told her mom (waiting in the lobby) that her daughter might need a couple extra lessons!
Alaskatgal 2 years ago
This has me actually laughing out loud! Would have loved to see this in person! 🤣🤣🤣
#13
One time I put a penny in my parent’s car’s cigarette lighter socket. It was the 80’s so lighter sockets were all over the car, including the doors in the backseat. It completely drained the battery within a few hours, and it took the guy at the garage a few days to figure out what was wrong with the electrical system.
René Sauer 2 years ago
The family of a classmate took me with them to camp in croatia. the toilet building had a huge room with like 2 dozen sinks or something, and for some reason two sinks in single, lockable stalls. I took one of these stalls to brush my teeth, and for some reason I thought it was a good idea to spit some water into an outlet. The whole building lost power and I never fessed up.
Jinx (she/her) 2 years ago
speaking of dumb kids doing dumb things to outlets, when I was small, probably 5 I would guess, I was staying at my aunts house. I had one of those big, top heavy night lights and it was hanging out a little with the prongs visible. wide awake, and curious as I was, I wanted to see if I could hang something off the prongs. I chose a metal wire clothes hanger. I don't know why. thankfully I dropped it on instead of placing it. the whole thing sparked, blew a fuse, scared the hell out of myself.
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Michelle Smith 2 years ago
My sister and I used to play a game called hide the penny. One day my sister decided to push the penny into an electrical outlet. She flew a couple of feet backwards. I never told on her, but the socket never worked as long as we were renting that apartment
Mikey Kliss 2 years ago
I remember watching A Goofy Movie and thinking those things were cool but they never stayed warm long
Jenn Smith 2 years ago
Older cars always had a special socket ( or several) that held a cigarette lighter Many of us older folks did some crazy and dangerous things with the car's built in cigarette lighter.
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#14
When I was a kid, I used to hit rocks from my backyard with my wooden bat out of the yard. For some reason, I never thought of what consequences could from it because to me I was just practicing my swing. One day, my neighbourhood got together to figure out why someone was smashing their cars with rocks. I never got in trouble for it and to this day it's still a mystery to them and I'm in my 20's now.
Paul C. 2 years ago
I went with my football team on a summer tour and one evening there was a reception for us with a huge buffet including whole fish. One of my idiot teammates decided to drop a fish on my head as I was sitting chatting. Without thinking I flung it behind me and went to the bathroom to wash my head. In walked a rather irate foreign gentleman, I said are you ok mate? He said "No! I was on the dancefloor....and BOOM a flying fish hit me in the chest!" I quietly exited back to my table.
kasa alex 2 years ago
I once decided to throw a honky nut over my shoulder (a large spiky nut thing, falls from trees). It was recess in primary school, since it was 'marble season' there were kids grouped everywhere. I threw the nut then forgot about it. After recess, back in the classroom, a teacher brings in a child from another class. They were trying to find out who had thrown the honky nut right at this child's eye, giving them a black eye. I didn't say anything. I was never discovered.
Ranger Kanootsen 2 years ago
"honky nut" LOL I'm totally calling them that now!!
Load More Replies... Tiger Pearl 2 years ago
When I was really little my older cousin was throwing rocks across the empty road and showing me how. I wanted to try, too, so he told me okay but only when I say to throw. He said to throw right when a car came… he was trying to get me in trouble!
#15
My baby sister once said to one of the nursery staff that her favourite thing to do was "crack with mummy".
After some concerned phone calls and some explanation. Mum explained to them that "crack" was when they hit the top of a boiled egg with a spoon.
Iampenny 2 years ago
We Irish use the word "craic" (pronounced "crack") to mean fun, so I have raised a few eyebrows in the past, by saying that "I had great crack (craic) the previous night"
Fenchurch 2 years ago (edited)
My small son raised a few eyebrows by telling his class that his Daddy spends the night with a big black man and one day he could too. School spoke to me, I explained my husband was a lorry driver, and he worked nights driving a black Mann lorry.
freakingbee (she/he/they) 2 years ago
the submission made me laugh, this made me laugh till i cried
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MellonCollie 2 years ago
And the kindergarten staff did not think to ask the child what they meant?? Toddlers can say the weirdest sounding things when they are learning to talk. Especially kindergarten staff ought to know. But no, they freak out instead.
Robyn Ward 2 years ago
My daughter went to school telling her teacher we ate CAT TISH pie instead of COTTAGE pie. I almost died when the teacher rang me lol
Jason Hulet 2 years ago
Our grandson (8yr) was out pulling weeds with my wife in the garden. He went home and told his mom, "me and gram picked weed today ". Glad his mom has a great sense of humor.
#16
I decided I wanted to burn trash in the middle of the Texas summer so my dumb little a*s did just that. I just threw some cardboard boxes and s**t into this barrel on my property we always had, figuring it would be contained you know? I poured some lighter fluid in there from my dad’s grill, lit a match and boom!
Up it went and my weird child obsession with Fire was quenched until the damn fire jumped out of the barrel and started racing towards the pine woods.(It was around Huffman tx, lots of pine trees) . There was apparently a raccoon in there I doused with lighter fluid and set on fire under the trash I was trying to burn.
Well I ended up burning up a good portion of trees behind my house before the fire fighters came. Thankfully it wasn’t that bad and our house didn’t burn down but it was the scariest moment of my life. I don’t think I ever burned anything again, my heart was broken. I cried for days I felt so damn bad for that raccoon.
I told my mom I betrayed Steve Irwin because I hurt an animal really bad. I’m pretty sure I started writing a letter to apologize but I was afraid he wouldn’t forgive me so pussed out.
Tiger Pearl 2 years ago
Aww poor raccoon and poor kid, though I’m sure the guilt ensured it wouldn’t ever happen again!
Lex <3 (they/them) 2 years ago
um kid- I think that trash panda wasn’t the trash you were hoping to burn-
weatherwitch 1 year ago
I really wish I hadn't read this 😔 I know it was completely unintentional but it's still horrific for that poor raccoon
#17
Not me, but my sister. She used the garden hose to "put gas in Mommy's car."
AndThenICommented 2 years ago (edited)
That was me. I was 2 or 3 and trying to wash the car thoroughly (as a surprise).
Kalikima 8 months ago
Who leaves a 2 year old unsupervised for any length of time?
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Lise Brouillette 2 years ago
Things like that are one of the reasons my daughter never wanted kids.
Mickie Shea 2 years ago
Now, that’s how you kids can help. Please kids, don’t put water in moms or anyones car, ever.
#18
My mom has/had severe depression, and I wrote her a poem for mother's day when I was 8 that had lines like "I love you even though you cry all the time." I was really proud because I thought it really showed how much I care and I read it aloud to her. I didn't get the reaction I was expecting.
Not-a-Clue (she/her) 2 years ago
And OP. It's tough being the kid of a parent with a mental illness
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StrangePenguin 2 years ago
my mom was sick for years when i was a kid. one time i was in her bed and i asked, “what are you good at, besides napping?” i feel bad but it’s all i had even seen her do for years. my parents were waiting on getting a cancer test back and she broke down into tears. i should have been more considerate but i was like 7 and neglected. she fine now but still resents me and i still regret it
Gardener of Weeden 2 years ago
She should NOT resent you. You were being abused (neglect is abuse been there). She could not help it, but it was/is HER job to be compassionate towards her child. When my son was about 5 he wanted a baby brother, I was not able to have more children. His response " Dad can leave you and marry someone else." That was a knife in my heart. I was really hurt, but I am still the adult and we now laugh about it.
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Chava Cooper-Revier 2 years ago
i told my mom "today was a good day, you smiled at me" that's when she decided to get herself on therapy and medication.
Wysteria_Rose 2 years ago
I wish parents would talk to their kids more about just having bad days (depression/anxiety/bad mental health days) to their kids. I didn't understand the random days when my mom was so sad/quiet and always thought maybe I did something to upset her. It wasn't until I was 13 and was trying to do laundry to help out that she sat me down and explained that she tried doing the same thing with her mom b/c she was depressed. I was like, "Okay but you never even explained you had depression, so..."
Michelle Smith 2 years ago
When I asked what she was thankful for on her birthday, my granddaughter responded. I’m thankful that GG is not dead yet so she could be at my party. I have ALS and took it in the spirit it was meant.
Mickie Shea 2 years ago
So sweet , your love for your mom.Whatever was wrong was beyond your control.
#19
I put nails under my parents car tires because I didn't want to go to church... --Edit-- This blew up overnight! Thank you kind stranger for taking my reddit gold virginity!
Mikey Kliss 2 years ago
I once lied about having a flat tire to get out of work. Didn't drive that day, just stayed home. Next day the neighbor noticed my tire was terribly flat. Turns out I really did have a flat tire, just didn't know about it
René Sauer 2 years ago
Well, that´s reasonable. Parents shouldn´t force their kids into their religion.
Mike_The_Nike (He They) 2 years ago
i would do that too! if my mom still dragged me to church (thankfully not)
#20
When we were both 8, I gave my cousin a corn cob pipe I found in a drawer in the garage, and he put lawn clippings in it and smoked it, and had to be rushed to the hospital. Apparently my aunt and uncle had just chemically treated the lawn and he smoked a whole bunch of nasty pesticides and herbicides.
Monday 2 years ago
Probably answer: To get rid of weeds. Really stupid to do so when you have kids or pets though.....actually scratch that it's just stupid in general.
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Nikki Gross 2 years ago
Also depending on when this happened it wasn't uncommon for people to spray their lawn and garden with pesticides or herbicides in the 80's and even the 90's. Before my Dad was killed in 84 we had fruit trees, 2 vegetable gardens and several flower beds that he treated with DDT before it was banned in the US. Even Roundup was one of the most popular for decades and was used a lot until they recently learned it causes cancer and was banned. There are a ton of lawsuits against the manufacturer of it right now because it was used as both for personal homes and commercially.
Lyoness 2 years ago
Who else automatically just heard "... and a button nose and two eyes made out of coal..."?
Elizabeth Butler 2 years ago
Too many people do poison their landscaping. This is a major reason why fewer fireflies (lightning bugs) are seen now.
#21
I chopped my sisters finger off in the bedroom door. My mum told me you always shut it so my sister couldn't get in the room, so I did. Unfortunately her finger was in the way and it chopped the top of her pinky finger off all the way to the first knuckle bit. It was pretty gory. Edit- no they didn't reattach it. It got mangled pretty bad. I just texted my sister and told her about her pinky finger's reddit fame. She was mildly impressed.
Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
My little sister slammed my pinky in the car door. Fortunately it was just the rubber seal, so all I got was an unpleasant surprise! Our mother found the whole thing hilarious because my reaction was "ARGH!" followed by a very dry and patient, "can you please open the door?"
#22
When I was about 6 or 7, we went to Palm Springs on some vacation. This was '98/99, when Pokemon was HUGE. Mom wanted to do some ~American Shopping~ and took me to a mall. One of the stores we went to was a book store. Well I was in luck: in this store they were selling The Pokemon Handbook that /included/ Mew and Togepi, which the original handbook didn't have. I showed it to my mom and begged her to buy it. However, considering I already had the original book she said no. I was sad, but continued to look through it. Then we left the store and began doing window shopping on our way back to the rental car. The parking lot was all the way on the other side of the mall. When we finally got there I tried to open the car door but noticed I couldn't: there was a book in my hand. I turned to my mom and showed her my accidental thievery. She looked at the book, then looked across the parking lot at the mall. Mom decided it was too far to walk. I got my stupid Pokemon book, and became the first successful theif in my family.
Monday 2 years ago
I'm guessing OP isn't American and their mom just wanted the American mall experience.
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Ropre 2 years ago
When my son was a baby we were in Macy's at the mall and he was in his stroller. He grabbed a very nice woman's wallet (for sale...not a wallet that belonged to someone) on our way out of Macy's and I didn't see it until we walked all the way to the other side of the mall and at our car. I love to tell my son now that he's an adult how he was a thief! lol
Leekier 9 months ago
I once found an eyeliner pencil in a jacket pocket. I was totally baffled; it was a brand aimed at the early teens and was bi-coloured in yellow and green. The only thing I can think of is that a few days earlier I’d seen a group of teenagers stopped by security leaving Boots (big chemist chain). They’d been near me at a makeup counter and at one point I’d actually swapped my bag to the other shoulder because I didn’t trust them. When I bought my lipstick, the assistant apologised for making me wait because she didn’t want to take her eyes off them. I’m guessing that one of them had lifted the eye pencil and then panicked and shoved it into my pocket.
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Ephemeral Mochi 2 years ago
Oof. I was reading a book from the Target shelves when I was riding in the cart as a little kid and after we were done checking out (book not included) we went to the car and I was still reading, then got bored and closed the book. And realized what I had done. Unlike this story, we actually went back and returned it though!
Marleina Hershberg 2 years ago
Should have driven closer to the bookstore and returned the book, that is good parenting. What happened taught the child that it was OK to steal the book.
Kyla Eisler 1 year ago
My bio dad did the same thing with my little sister. She was an infant at the time and they put a pink beany on her to see how cute she looked. We intended to pay for it and went about our shopping with it still on her head. Then proceeded to cash out at a register (this was before self-checkout) and walk out. It was only when we got to the car that we realized we never paid for the beanie, she was still wearing it and parents allotted not to go back in the store.
Jane Hower 2 years ago
Did that once myself - as an adult. Picked up an item when I first walked into this big knick-kack store, mostly for tourists, with every intention of paying before I left - but forgot and walked out with it. BUT, I rushed back in so I wouldn't get arrested (probably nobody noticed but I was being 'good')
#23
-My mom was ironing clothes. She left the iron unattended for like 2 seconds. Then 3 year old me thought "hey, this should fix the wrinkly skin on my fingers" and ironed my own hand. 3rd degree burns. Still have the scars. -When i was 6, I was super excited about my new scissors. Went around the house cutting s**t. Then I started cutting electric cables, until one was from a lamp that was on.... Not fun. And melted my new scissors. -I was 5. My older cousin had a very chunky, full bodied friend, not fat, she looked big and muscular. And had short hair. So when they introduced me to her I asked, why is this man wearing a dress and has a girl's name? It was HER birthday and all of her family and friends heard. 🙁 Edit: no guys, my name is NOT Kevin. And I did go to University. Now I am a very successful engineer. I was just an extremely hiperactive kid with a very curious mind and high sense of experimentation.
Sindy Diaz 2 years ago
OMG!!! that sounds exactly like me, i was two back in Cuba, and my mom or brother were ironing and i grabbed it and ironed my right hand. Im 34 and will always have the scars and my mom will always mention the story. also back in cuba my gma was shaving her face and left the razor on the sink and i grabbed it and shaved my tongue. i don't remember the pain but i remember them putting salt or sugar to make me stop bleeding. maybe that is why i can't like a lot of foods.
PeepPeep the duck 2 years ago
It’s funny I assumed half way that they would of ended up being an engineer
SkyBlueandBlack 2 years ago
Yep. When I saw at the end he became an engineer, I was like, ohhhh that explains it!
Load More Replies... Mickie Shea 2 years ago
When five, my mom told me to never touch the top of the electric stove. I did, learning that mom was right.
nala simba 2 years ago
You went to university and can't spell hyperactive? How did you get in, Kevin?
#24
This question comes at just the right time of year... In kindergarten, **I was the a*****e kid who blew the whistle on Santa Claus.** I thought I was doing everyone a service, but several children cried and my mom had to talk to my teacher at pick-up time bc I basically talked back when asked to apologize. My mom was so embarrassed. The icing on the cake was when my mom told me in front of my teacher that I would in fact apologize to the class, I said "dad says I shouldn't say sorry unless I really mean it and I don't think I should say sorry for telling the truth." I don't even remember this but my mom tells this story all the time bc I never apologized. Same teacher put me in timeout bc I said The Pledge in a funny voice. I don't think we were on good terms...
Tiramisu 2 years ago (edited)
It never did make sense to me. I was told from before school that Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the tooth fairy were all pretend for fun. Why do people plant such firm belief in their kids that they’re crying to find out the truth? Sounds like a way to create trust issues ngl
Monday 2 years ago
I accidentally figured out Santa was fake when I wondered why presents always had "from mom" or "from uncle" on them....parents told me the truth about the easter bunny and tooth mouse when I confronted them about Santa xD Wasn't traumatic, just a tad disappointing to know I'd never catch that damn mouse.
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Darryl Martin 2 years ago
My parents had to tell my youngest brother the truth about Santa when he was about 4 because the idea of someone coming into the house while he was asleep terrified him.
hitex 2 years ago
He should be terrified of a stranger entering his home while he is asleep! I think that is a healthy rational fear.
Load More Replies... Eastendbird 2 years ago
I have no memory of believing in Santa. Apparently I asked if he was real when I was 5 years old, mum asked if I really wanted to know, I said yes, so she told me. I then laughed and said I thought it was funny, all these adults sneaking around, filling up stockings and pretending it was Santa.
BluEyedSeoulite 2 years ago
Fair enough on not apologizing. The teacher should have had a 1:1 convo at recess time about WHY you should apologize and when just telling the truth can be mean
MadOrca99 2 years ago
The pledge of allegiance. Its an American tradition where at the beginning of the school day or when you become a citizen you say the pledge of allegiance to America. It goes, "I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."
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Marvin HeartofGold (she/them) 2 years ago (edited)
I found out Santa wasn't real when we were staying at my grandparents and I woke up while grandpa was putting the bike I had asked Santa for out. I remember pretending I was still asleep and thinking "aw thanks Grandpa" and pretending I believe for several more years so my little siblings would keep the magic a little while longer. It didn't wreck anything for me. My sense of magic just shifted from Santa and I saw what lengths my family went to to preserve a sense of wonder in us for as long as possible before the world wrecked us. Now, on really awful days where work is rough and we're having dangerous heat waves and the world is going to s**t I at least have some special memories to look back on.
Adam Zad 2 years ago
Santa Claus is a spiritual being who lives in the hearts of children. He's just as real as God.
Tom De Paul 9 months ago
Doctors should hire you to break the news to their patients that they are terminal. You have a certain skill . . . .
#25
The first day I moved into my new house at 6 years old I was meeting the new neighbor boy who was a couple years older than me. We were out in his driveway talking about some stuff when his Mom walked out and, for whatever reason, I instinctively smacked her a*s as she walked by. My parents still bring up how embarrassing that was for her to come over and tell them what happened.
Tiger Pearl 2 years ago (edited)
I’m thinking it’s most likely the dad’s fault. Playfully smacking mom’s butt as she is walking by and then laughing when his son copies him, and voila!
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#26
Accidentally pitchforked my neighbour in the head when I was about 7.
I was helping her (in her 70's) do some gardening - planting flower beds etc. and we were just finishing up. I, in all my 7-year-old bravado, heft the pitchfork over my back to go and put it away, and accidentally catch her in the back of the head with it. She ended up going to the hospital needing stitches, but she forgave me.
Edit: Insert obligatory edit about my best comment being about almost killing my neighbour.
To clarify, Yes, obviously I was sorry for doing it. When my mum came over wondering what had happened, she freaked out, but the neighbour said that it was an accident, so no big punishment or anything. Neighbour's all fine now, and doesn't hold a grudge.
Stymied Egan 2 years ago
She was in her 70's. That is what people did back when she was growing up. An accident was an accident and no matter the damage it was forgiven.
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Spittnimage 2 years ago
Something wrong with people that think a 7-yo hit her with the pitchfork on purpose. He said accidentally. Process what you're reading! Don't just see the words, understand them.
Ruth Watry 10 months ago
Neighbor let 7 year old help her and carry the pitchfork, so makes sense that she did not blame him
#27
I put a canned Miller Lite in my Pikachu lunch box in the 2nd grade because I wanted to be the cool kid at the lunch table and impress my friends.
Unfortunately, my mom saw how shady I was acting protecting my lunchbox and ended up opening it.
She was livid.
Til this day, she still brings it up. It’s basically the go-to story when I bring someone new to the house.
Taff Thomas 2 years ago
It could have been worse, you could have put a can of beer in there. [\sarcasm]
Tiger Pearl 2 years ago
These comments dissing this “beer” are hilarious! I love the beer-adjacent one! 😂
Mickie Shea 2 years ago
Little bro and I put some vodka in our milk. Not really good. Replace missing vodka with water. Never heard a word.
#28
I called out my two cousins (who were brother and sister) for "being girlfriend and boyfriend" because I saw them kissing and touching each other.
Caused us to miss a few family holidays as things blew over.
Edit: yes I saw them kissing. Also the male cousin admitted they had touched each other. We were in the 10-12 year range at that point. No we're not from Alabama (roll tide). Yes now they're in their 30s and married and normal (not married to each other).
ConstantlyJon 2 years ago
OH MY GOD why did you wait until that last part to clarify (not married to each other)?? I almost died!!
similarly 2 years ago (edited)
I really wish we could stop making incest "jokes" about the US South. It's not funny.
Dunja Blackwell 2 years ago
Clearly you have never lived in the backwoods of AL.
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Sarah Mezei 2 years ago
I had a cousin from my mom's side get into a relationship with a cousin from my father's side. It was just a high school thing and only lasted like a month or something, but was creepy at family Christmas dinner.
Mickie Shea 2 years ago
Kids experiment. They are very inquisitive. At 7 I saw my 6yo neighbors privates, It was horrifying. After a quick touch I ran home telling mom to call an ambulance.
#29
When I was around 3 or 4 years old my family lived in a rented townhouse. We had a small dog that was not very well house-trained and would frequently poop and pee in the carpeted house. Supposedly my parents were planning to move and painstakingly cleaned the carpets to remove any evidence of the dog going to the bathroom in the house in order to get their security deposit back. Obviously being so young, no one clued me in on the situation. On the day the landlord came to inspect the house I was playing outside in the yard. He stopped to say hello to me before knocking on the door and I allegedly said something to the effect of, “Hi! My dog Frankie goes potty in the living room!” The landlord immediately went inside and began ripping up the carpeting and saw all the stains underneath. My parents did not get their security deposit back.
Slinkaste 2 years ago
Your parents were lazy pigs. Good that you told the landlord that your dog pee and poo on the carpet. So unhygienic. I’m not a germaphobe, but this is yucky
Mikey Kliss 2 years ago
Agreed. When one of my dogs was older she started going in the house. That stuffs hard to clean but you do it right away so it doesnt stain everything
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Slinkaste 2 years ago (edited)
Do it on your own property not in the one you lease. That’s why there are many landlords that don’t want pets in the apartment.
Load More Replies... Michelle Smith 2 years ago
Your parents were lazy and dirty. Even if the dog was old, that just means you have to take it out more often and put P pads in the house for accidents. They were also cheats because the landlord would have had to replace the carpets after he had already given them their security deposit back when is stains and smells seeped back into the carpet.
#30
I unknowingly broke my arm when I was four. My parents had no idea. I didn't complain much even though it hurt like hell. I wound up carrying my arm around with the other arm. Parents noticed me doing this but didn't know what to think. The break eventually healed this way and when I went for a check up the doctor informed my parents that I had broken my arm.
Linouchka 2 years ago
Believe me when I say that if I see my 4yo son carrying his arm around with his other arm, I am freaking going to investigate !!! I touch him enough to notice if he's hurting anywhere, and it won't be a single day before I take him to the ER ! 😤
Fun Fan 2 years ago (edited)
But your parents .... I mean, we are speaking about 2.3 generations-times .... I was a kid in '80s. I still have "do-you.remember-that-day" marks on my knees from falling down on playgrounds. obviously hurted, and obviously I was crying, but my parents and grandparents weren't rushing to ER with every injury, because we should had been there 7 days on every week ... I don't know, if this was right, but I know, that overprotecting your child is not right. We are already having problems with early 20s year olds, who are acting like we were in primary school.
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Snorkeldorf 2 years ago
I broke my finger and never told my parents. I was about 8 and there was a foot race at the summer-time activity school I attended. The counselor didn't want me to run because I was younger than most of the kids and very small for my age, but I begged. Big kid intentionally knocked me down during the race and I bent my finger when I fell. Never told anybody because I didn't want to get in trouble and didn't want the counselor to get in trouble. Hurt like the dickens but it healed. Pinky finger on my right hand is still slightly crooked but perfectly functional.
Debbie 2 years ago (edited)
Kids can hide it well. As long as the arm isn't moved, they can bear it. So a tip: if you're chips is caring one arm with the other, there is something wrong. My son broke his arm and on the way to the hospital/waiting (with a makeshift mitella) he held his arm in such a way and didn't whimper or cry a lot while hiding it, not even when walking. Only if he had to move the position of his arm.
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EarthGrowl 2 years ago
Luckily my dad had retired from the U.S Army and worked as an aviation electrician at an Air Base. He had fantastic insurance and we used it, A LOT. My parents dealt with a constant barrage of spurting blood, bones poking through the skin, nearly amputated fingers and toes, gouged eyes and busted heads. When I was 8, I was playing with my dad's brand new axe (!!) and dumb me propped it beside the door, then I forgot it was there. When my dad got home I ran out the door and stepped on that axe. I almost cut my foot in half! But I had also left a rake on the ground in front of the steps. After I hit the axe I screamed and jumped down the steps onto the rake. Just like the cartoons the rake handle popped up and hit me in the face and lacerated my forehead and busted my nose. I remember my dad picking me up while screaming for my mom and my hands were covered in blood then I passed out. It took two military trauma surgeons 4 hours to put me back together.
Dave H 2 years ago
My daughter injured herself once and thought maybe her arm was broken. I did my own "medical assessment", touching and squeezing the affected area. She didn't make a peep. I thought for sure if it was broken I would be able to tell from the look on her face. The next morning it was swollen and my wife took her for an x-ray. It was broken. Not exactly father of the year.
Blue Bunny of Happiness 2 years ago (edited)
Worked with enough nurses and doctors to know they’re tough on their kids. A nurse colleague sent her daughter to school after a fall the day before, school called saying can you taker her to A&E we think she’s broken her arm. School was correct. A psychologist I worked with fell at the weekend whilst out walking with her parents, both of whom are doctors. Fell onto her outstretched hand, they said she’d sprained it. She came into work on the Monday, I saw her hand, thought that doesn’t look right, grabbed a physio who looked at it and said get it checked. Fractured scaphoid…. Glad my parents worked in Sales and teaching!
Jennifer Smith 2 years ago
My 4 year old broke his leg and he screamed bloody murder. At first I didn’t know what was wrong because he didn’t have a scratch on him but then thought oh wow maybe he broke his leg. Sure enough it was broken.
Diana Pahule 1 year ago
When I broke my fingers last summer the bruising and swelling were impossible to miss.
Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago (edited)
My daughter was about 11 months and starting to pull herself up on the furniture. She fell over side ways and fussed a bit, but we didn't think anything of it. I went to pick her up for her bath and she whimpered. I took her to the Doctor the next day and she had broken her collarbone. I was terrified they would think we had done something to her, but he reassured me that it was a very common injury and would heal on it's own just fine. I felt like a negligent mother for weeks.
#31
My grandparents used to have a time share condo in Florida, basically an old person's community. My mom took me there when I was maybe 5-6, I would sit on the balcony and just shout, "hey you're really old" at all the people that walked by. I've never been to Florida since.
#32
Probably not the worst, but the one I can think of off the top of my head. I live within a half hour of the US/Canada border, Canadian side, and back in the 80s and 90s and earlier a lot of people would go over to the states to buy gas, beer, milk, etc. It was pretty much a Sunday tradition for us. One time when I was maybe 6 or 7 we were over there for the usual load of junk food etc, and my parents bought me a cap gun. Coming back across the border the agents ask the usual questions about where we were, what we're bringing back. Dad lists off everything (except probably a lot of beer and tobacco, because smuggling that stuff was super easy back then), and when he finished I pipe up in the backseat and say "And a gun!", somewhat proud of my new toy. Well, turns out that's a sure fire way to get your car searched, and your dad busted for smuggling beer, who'd have known? Edit: Holy this blew up more than I expected. I should mention that 'getting busted for smuggling' didn't mean they hauled him off to jail, he just either lost the beer or had to pay a bunch of duty fees on it. Not as bad as it sounded I guess. And beer isn't illegal up here, it was just waaay cheaper to go get it down there.
#33
There were stray cats hanging around our house that had kittens. Me and my brother desperately wanted to keep one but of course my parents said no. So we grabbed one and hid it in the BBQ which had a lid on it. It suffocated. And we got in big trouble. That was over 35 years ago and I still feel awful about it.
BluEyedSeoulite 2 years ago
I did a similar thing when I was 4. My sister and I were playing with the half-feral shed cat's kittens, trying to get them used to people one summer. My grandfather also had a broken dryer in the shed. We would put the kittens in the dryer, take them out. I have no idea what we were pretend playing. Well, we forgot to take them out the last time... My grandpa found them a few days later. I still feel extremely guilty about it, poor kitties. I guess, tbf, you probably shouldn't allow a 4 and 7yo to play unsupervised in a dirty shed full of random junk
Mycroft1967 2 years ago
Wife's brother used to catch crawfish and keep them under his bed. Which was OK until they died and began making a distinct odor.
Hanako-Kun 花子くん 2 years ago
Me and my sis kept these dead baby birds in our room when we were little, i remember carrying them in with my shoe🥲
#34
Backstory: I got a really bad burn on my arm while my dad was taking tea out of the microwave. I thought it would be really funny to slam the door on him while he was grabbing it. The result was a huge, and bad burn on my arm. Cut to a while later, my arm was almost healed. But you could still see the burn in spots. I hit my head on a table and cut it open. My mom brings me to the hospital to get stitches. Right when they are done stitching my head, I say have this conversation with the doctor. Me: Oh! My other owie is almost gone! Doctor: What other owie? Me: From when my daddy poured hot tea on me. That resulted in a very awkward conversation between my mother and the doctor. And the doctor almost calling CPS.
Skip Marooch 2 years ago
"Taking tea out of the microwave" That raises so many questions. What, how, and why? What was he doing with tea in the microwave? Tea and microwave is such a weird combination of words.
Nick (He/Him) 2 years ago
americans make tea in the microwave. we put it in a pyrex cup and boil it.
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Sharkie 2 years ago
I was about 5 when I got big burns from very hot tea and cracked head from a stepladder both the same summer, but few weeks apart so in different hospitals.
Sharkie 2 years ago
The tea was my fault, I wanted to take my doll to breakfast and knocked the tea on me... But the stepladder looked stable, I was quietly sitting far from it... Well not far enough I know now... Me and my sis were playing in a hallway to wait for something. I sat far from everything and just waited facing the door on the other side, sis was right next to the stepladder... I don't know if she knocked the ladder or how it fell down. I did not see it and everything was very blurry after... I still have the scar from this incident hidden in my hair...
Load More Replies... #35
I told all of my friends I wanted to be a prostitute when I grew up. Prosecutor. The word is prosecutor.
#36
I was with my mom over at her friends' house. We were out in the barn looking at their chickens. As we were going out the neighbor guy shut the automatic garage door, and I thought it would be neat to do a sweet James Bond move and slide under the door as it was closing. Long story short, I got stuck under the door, and the guy had to lift it with his hands against the motor so I could slide out. I was a little older than I'd like to admit.
#37
3 years old: I poured lighter fluid on my cat Cooter because I wanted to give him a bath. Mom broke the shower door trying to wrestle the cat into the shower to rinse it off.
Awesome At Being Autistic 2 years ago
If they're Gen X like me, it's probably because their parents told them once not to touch it, and that was that. Then, of the parents found out the kids had messed with the lighter fluid, they'd get beat to holy heck. I never messed with lighter fluid, but my kid brother did, and yep, beat to holy heck. My kid brother thought it was worth it, though.
Load More Replies... #38
Every Christmas I’m haunted by one year when I was eight that I begged to spend Christmas Eve at my maternal grandparents’ house (my aunt and uncle are one year older and two years younger than me, respectively, so their house was fun). My dad paid for me to fly from Florida to Missouri to spend the holiday with him, just for me to want to be with my grandparents. As a mom now I know that that probably gutted him. He passed away ten years ago, so I can’t even make it up to him now.
Christina Born 2 years ago
My oldest daughter is 25yo. Her daughter is 6mo. My youngest daughter is 19mo. Hope my house is just as fun for the grandkids!
Mashmelo 2 years ago
Someone pls explain how an aunt or uncle can be younger than their niece?
Hans Georg 2 years ago (edited)
Grandmother getting a child around 18 or early 20s. Child becomes an adult and gets a child around the same age. The grandmother gets more children around the same time. I see no problem there. In that way you can get many generations fast. Imagine getting the first child with 18. At 36 you could be grandmother. And at 54 you are great-grandmother. And 36, although a little late according to some doctors, is still a good age to get children.
Load More Replies... #39
I was an awfully animated, precocious kid that thought she knew a lot but didn't know s**t about s**t..... So I often f****d things up. Examples: -Someone thought it was a good idea to teach me the phrase "Chips make hips" and I was offered chips by a plus size woman. Instead of simply saying "no, thank you" like a normal person, you can guess what I said. Age: 4ish -When I found out my dad knocked up my best friend's mom, from her mom, I asked if he was going to be a bastard. I had just learned the meaning of the word; had no clue it was derogatory in nature. I was really trying to ask if they were going to get married. (answer: no) I hope he never hears about it. Age: 12ish -Trying to be helpful and noticing there was ice coating the inside of the freezer and mom was always complaining about the lack of space, I decided to chisel it out with a hammer and flathead screwdriver. I hit a coil in no time flat. Didn't know that I had in fact killed the fridge and all the food in it for a few hours afterward. $$$$$ Age: 13ish -Again, trying to help, I put 16 pairs of jeans in the washing machine. Killed that too. $$$$ Age: still 13ish -When you had to pay 10¢ per text message and buy ringtones and AIM was a thing, I ran up a $600 phone bill one month. Age: 14ish There's more. I was oblivious. Still am at times. I should probably take my parents out for dinner or something now that I'm swimming in guilt all over again.
Jenn Smith 2 years ago
Awww, at least you were trying to help! Being a teenager never has, nor will be easy. But, every parent would love a dinner with their kids! I'm an older parent with a teen, and sometimes it does seem like one disaster after another, but then, she makes us dinner or snacks, and I see what an awesome person she really is.. I bet your parents feel the same!
#40
Told my brother to eat newspaper because it’d make him smarter.
#41
Once when I was about 4, I sprayed a man driving by my house on his motorcycle with a water hose. I have no idea why I did it, I just remember that I was playing with the hose and he kept riding by over and over and I just had an impulse and went with it. He didn't come by again after that, obviously.
E.V. 2 years ago
My paranoid brain thinks he was stalking you and waiting for an opportunity to grab you!
Jenn Smith 2 years ago
Bet he wasn't expecting that! Now I know how to handle loud annoying vehicles in the neighborhood!
#42
I was really young and shared a room with my older brother. I remember one time I begged him to tie me to the bed frame because I was pretending I was a creature or something. My brother got really embarassed and I couldnt understand why. I cringe when I think about that
Lex <3 (they/them) 2 years ago
I’m certainly not the most innocent person in the world but even I don’t understand this
#43
Up until I was around 6 or 7, whenever my family and I were heading out of a restaurant, and I noticed that my parents were forgetting cash on the table, I would always make sure to grab it and slip it back into my mom's purse. I didn't know tipping was a thing, and it's not until I made a comment about how they were always leaving money lying around at restaurants, and how I always had to be the one to keep an eye out for it and make sure they didn't forget it, that they realized what was going on, and I learned. I cost a lot of waiters their tips :(
Biofish23 2 years ago
Because people are unlikely to remember the chaos they caused when younger, and hopefully developed a bit a common sense when they got a bit older.
Load More Replies... #44
I had just gotten home in the afternoon from middle school and there was about an hour or so I'd be home by myself before my parents came home from work. On this day I decided to boil a few hot dogs as a nice little snack while I watched TRL. My buddy from next door comes over and invites me to do play video games or whatever the hell I was into at the time. An hour or so goes by and I come back into my house and realize the stove was still on and the hot dogs were burning. Apparently the Teflon from the pan releases a noxious gas that is lethal to birds and killed my mothers beloved parakeet. She came home about ten minutes later and immediately saw this dead parakeet and started crying. She looked me right in my eyes and said 'everything in my life is dying!' (this was around the same time my parents were getting divorced) and she slammed her bedroom door and I didn't see her until the next morning.
#45
"Look mom, chocolate people!" In Walmart.
Chronically Online Panda 2 years ago
Oh now I remember this book that I had when I lived in China that said this boy had too much chocolate and it turned his skin dark and my sister became really terrified that her skin would turn dark
§• Råinbow Påndå •§ 2 years ago
Kid had probably hardly seen people of colour, and said the first thing that came their head
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#46
When my cousin and I were 5-6, we got hooked on this amazing hot chocolate at this hotel. The hotel had a bar in the middle of the pool, so you can drink it while you’re sitting in the water, which made it even cooler. Our parents told us we couldn’t have more, so we went to a random couple and asked them to buy us the hot chocolate.
They did. And they babysat us until our parents found us, a few hours later. We didn’t say anything about the hot chocolate since we didn’t want to get in trouble, so the couple never got paid back.
Looking back, I think they were probably some honeymooning couple and we forced them to babysit a two bratty kids.
**TL;DR**: Probably convinced a couple never to have kids.
That Goth Demon (zey/zem) 2 years ago
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ they maybe didn't want kids in the first place
Little king trash mouth 2 years ago
Why were your parents not watching you? Who lets a 5 and 6 year old just chill in a hotel pool without supervision?
Strings 2 years ago
Did something similar in Thailand. We were babysitting the son of our tailor (brought him back to the hotel to play in the pool), and a group of Marines that were there decided they would help take care of him while he was there. Big, tough Marines playing pool tag with a little Thai boy who doesn't speak English was a hoot
Esist Nosrep 2 years ago
Why world is so negative towards kids? Sometimes it is si fun and refreshing to spend an hour or two playing and talking with friends kids. Kids are so much fun when you pay proper attention to them. When you have your own it's responsibility, but when you babysit for a moment its lighthearted fun
#47
Not me, but my older sister needed material to make something (I can't remember what it was, some arts and craft thing). Anyway, she found my mother's wedding dress and decided it was the perfect material, so she cut a big square out of the dress. Luckily my mother is very, very easy-going and has never cared about material things that much (she's was a hippie, and still is), so she was initially annoyed but pretty much just laughed it off in the end.
#48
When I was 7, I was in the family change room/locker room at a swimming pool when I noticed a stray thumb tack sitting on the ground under a bench. Didnt know why it was there but some morbid curiosity told me to place it on the ground in the open with the pin side up. About 5 minutes later, I started to think about how dangerous that could be and went to go pick it up only to find this teenage girl sitting on the bench in severe pain and nursing her foot while her family was helping and inspecting it. The last thing I remember was the girl saying, "who would do this???" And her father responding, "A F*****G IDIOT, THATS WHO."
#49
I was at a birthday party, age 7, and there was this orange air freshener that smelled sooo so good, so I sprayed it all over myself, and then I smelled really good, so all the kids started spraying it on themselves. Not 20 minutes later, all of us are crying and screaming because our skin is burning and turning red. There was something very irritating in the air freshener.
#50
I had a habit of storing entire phone conversations between my mother and her mother in my head. I was little and she'd just talk in front of me and assume I wasn't listening. NOW TO BE FAIR I was very little, okay? Well I heard her laughing about how she had a crush on her coworker and grabbed their a*s (I guess it was an ongoing joke, looking back at it.) My dad would play with our basset hound by kind of... grabbing his thigh and he'd reach around to grab my dad's hand, and then my dad would grab the other side, etc etc. So I was watching him do this and laughing and then... "THAT'S LIKE WHAT MOM DID TO JASON!" Ooooh. S**t. My ears are still ringing. Eek. Now both my parents were a******s to each other, rampant infidelity, the works. And they're both a******s to everyone now that they're divorced so I don't feel *as* bad, but still.
Nick (He/Him) 2 years ago
so many of these stories are kids accidently calling out cheating parents
Not-a-Clue (she/her) 2 years ago
People need to be more careful what they say in front of kids. You can't be blamed for telling the truth.
#51
Played with a used condom I found at the river. I thought it was a balloon.
Rizzo 2 years ago
We found condoms in the house of a friend and thought they were water bombs. We filled them up and threw them from the balcony to the amusement of all kids on the street on this hot summer day. The neighbors saw the remains of our bombs and some men laughed about the boy's father needing the extreme nobbing. We didn't understand why they laughed. It was fun. :)
#52
At 3 years old, I had learned what a screwdriver was, and how to use one. Proceeded to use a screwdriver on my dad's brand new video camera to show him what I had learned. My username includes my birth year...
#53
jumped into soft, pink fiberglass insulation
Me, Myself, & I 2 years ago
I saw it in our basement, aged about 4 & snuggled into it...I still remember the horrible itching 55 years later...
#54
Made fun of someone with cerebral palsy using canes to walk. I thought they were just walking funny on purpose and didn't know that they were handicapped. I still cringe thinking about when the teacher told me to stop and explained why that was wrong.
Judes 2 years ago
My daughter did something similar when she was about 3 and we were waiting at a doctor's surgery. A woman was using wrist crutches. She was quite bent-over and didn't have great control of her legs, but she was managing to get around OK. My daughter pointed and said loudly "Haha look at that!" (not in a cruel way, just like a little kid seeing something for the first time). I don't think the woman heard, but I still died of shame.
#55
I was 5 years old and the day care I went to was in someone’s house. The owner’s mother stayed with her, because she recently had a stroke. As a result of said stroke her tongue was always slightly protruding out of her mouth. 5 year old me thought she was sticking her tongue out at me to be rude, so I returned the favor by very dramatically sticking my tongue out at her while shaking my head. Interestingly enough, no one was in the room but us and the mother couldn’t speak so I didn’t get into trouble!
#56
I messed up two computer monitors back in after school daycare in kindergarten. There were these magnet toys that were laying around and for some reason I had put it up to the monitor and thought it was so cool how they made rainbow colors on the monitor. Me and a friend continued to do it until we both got yelled at and that’s all I can remember. I don’t remember what happened after that but I’m pretty sure they stopped putting out the magnets Edit: Damn I didn’t expect so many people to have a similar experience to this. It’s good to know that there was a degauss feature now because I thought I permanently ruined those things until now lmao.
#58
I was little and we were at my grandpas funeral. Being only 6 or 7 I hardly understood what it meant for him to be dead, especially considering it was an open casket. In my mind everyone was walking up to him and saying goodbye and he was sleeping like when we saw him in the hospital. Little did I know.... So when it was finally my turn to go up my mom asked me if i was sure i wanted to see him. I said of course, and I ran up to my grandpa and yelled out "granddpaaa" just like I did when we would go over and visit. It wasnt until he didnt reply and I felt his freezing cold clammy hands that I realized why people were crying. He was dead :( Edit: wow, thank you all for all the kind words. <3
Tiramisu 2 years ago
Kind of unrelated but my dumbass used to think the only way you died was when your head detached, and eventually our heads would fall off and we’d die.
Tamiko 2 years ago
Too young to remember my grandfathers funeral. Cousin passed away in 1997, I was 7 and didn't really understand what was happening nor did anyone explain it to me at all, I also didn't get what being famous and such means, so cue August 30th and news of Diana's death being plastered all over the newspapers. Couldn't understand why everyone had to know about her death and not my cousins, cue my lifelong hate for paparazzi and having no respect for peoples privacy, famous or not.
#59
When I was in the 5th grade, I had a male teacher who was kind of weird and who basically let me and my friends get away with anything because we were smart. I was not smart enough to know that teasing my mom for said teacher's crush on her would mean an all-out screaming match between her and my stepdad. This fight lasted for 5 more years. He thought she was cheating on him because I had said my teacher had a crush on her.
Aboredpanda 2 years ago
This was the dad's fault for being insecure and immature. It should have been a laughing matter, and a compliment to the mum.
#60
Told the heavily pregnant mom of my best friend that she was sooooooo fat! I was 6 but even if she were fat Stfu, Lil Lola! I practically lived at their house but didn't understand the concept of pregnancy. I think she forgave me at the baby's first birthday. Who knows, she could still be holding a grudge.
#61
Freak out my teach who thought I was psychotic. When I was in Pre-K I was playing with my friend while waiting for our parents to pick us up. We decided to play in this fake plastic house, and we were pretending a family lived there. Then we thought it was a great idea to pretend robbers were breaking into the house and attacking the family, after the police would come and save the day. That's when things went south. We proceeded to get fake knives, and we entered the house screaming, and cutting the baby dolls inside the house, before we had a chance to pretend we were the police the next thing I know my teacher is staring at us with horror, and made us lie down on our nap time mats until our parents came. The entire year she was freaked out by me and my friend, and never let us play in the little house again :(
#62
When I was little I overheard my mom saying how my aunt chewed with her mouth open. Sometime later my aunt is in the car with my mom, myself and my sister, and I proudly yell out how my mom says she chews with her mouth open. It was terribly awkward and I’m glad I can only remember fragments of it. Another time I came home from school crying and in front of my mother and grandmother told my mom how at school everyone else has a great-grandmother but I have a mean one. Didn’t understand the concept and we laugh about it constantly now.
Zircon (she/her) 2 years ago
Great-grandmother as in great/good grandmother vs a bad one
Load More Replies... #63
Ate fertilizer that I found out in the yard because I thought it was candy.
#64
Oh man I was just thinking about this today. So when I was in grade school, a girl a few years ahead of me, in my sister's grade, suddenly died. She also happened to be my sisters friend, and she didn't handle that well either. I didn't really understand death, I was in the second grade and also dumb. Things have changed a lot since then of course, now i'm just dumb. Anyway, the first worst thing I did, my dad was trying to explain death, and my sister was in the room as well. All I remember is piping up, like I had it all figured out, "IT'S LIKE SHE RAN OUT OF POWER!". That did not end well. The second terrible thing I did related to this, our school was a catholic school so Mass every Friday. To preface this, we had a mouse problem at my house at the time, and one of the little bastards woke my a*s up early. So fast forward to the school service we're having for this dead girl, and when one person is up there speaking, I suddenly and without warning let out the loudest, angriest, dad yawn in the history of yawns. Dead silence. Everyone is looking at me. Not knowing the gravity of the situation I find myself in, I simply say "what? I woke up early"
#65
I guess not completely unknowingly, but up until I was about four, I’d grab my mom’s glasses off her face and throw them down the stairs. 3-4 pairs later, she’s gotten laser eye surgery and now doesent use them today.
#66
Not me, but my brother (20 years older than me) as a kid was house sitting for someone when he was like 7 Taking care of the dogs, cats, fish and a hamster or two. He spilled something on a hamster (koolaid I think?) And he gave it a bath, then tried to dry it off in the microwave so the family wouldn't know. To his credit, the hamster was dry.
iseefractals 2 years ago
How many adults involved and they still didn't grasp, not even that any 7 year old, but this particular 7 year old, wasn't properly equipped to "house sit" unsupervised multiple pets? Poor f*****g hamster
#67
1. Stuck a butter knife into the controls of the dishwasher-the electric shock sent me across the room. 2. When in the car, whom ever was driving would shout “Jagoff!” when another driver did something to annoy them. One day, I was in the backseat as my mother drove the family to the mall or wherever. Somebody cuts us off, and before anyone else could comment, I shouted “JAGOFF!!!” at the top of my lungs. Dead silence ensued. After we got home, my dad scolded me for swearing. I never realized it was a bad word. In Pittsburgh it’s a vulgar insult.
#68
Flooded my neighbor’s basement. We lived in a duplex. I was 3. The neighbor had our shared hose through his window to fill his water bed. I turned on the hose at the faucet then went to find the end. When I couldn’t get the end out of the window, I turned the hose off. But I was 3. I didn’t know my right and left yet, much less “righty tighty, lefty loosy.” I turned the faucet all the way on, exploded his water bed and flooded his basement.
#69
I will say that I have no memory of this, but my mom told me this story from when I was about 5: I had a best friend that went to the same montessori school as me. Apparently that day, she had done something I didn't like, so as a response, I grabbed her by the back of the head and slammed her face into the table until she bled. I'm not a violent person so I have no idea why this would be my reaction to anything. I'm glad I don't remember doing jt and I hope she turned out okay
Aboredpanda 2 years ago
Kids generally react like this when upset (hitting, kicking) and have to be taught that it's not how we solve things. But 5 maybe is a bit old to not know 😅
#70
According to my mom, I stole a s**t ton of things from Best Buy and got away with it because I was a tiny toddler who couldn’t reach the detectors.
Ranger Kanootsen 2 years ago
There is literally no way of knowing that. I used to steal things when I was 4 because I didn't know better.
Load More Replies... #71
I tripped a waitress carrying dishes by leaving a crayon on the ground, but my dad may have been lying to teach me a lesson about not leaving crayons on the ground in a restaurant.
#72
Took a LOT of money out of my parents plastic tupperware thing and bought a nintendo 64 from another kid. I didn't know how much, but probably a lot Edit: When did this comment blow up?? Edit x2: Corrected an error. Everyone can stop freaking out about, "tubaware."
#73
I was 5 and my brother was 8. I showed him where our mom was keeping the Christmas presents and told him it was okay to look. I promptly ran out and told on him. For what he tells me, the worst part was that my mom just tossed him this toy he wanted after she yelled at him.
#74
I don't thinK I did it unknowningly, but I killed a lot of ants by molten plastic. How? you put a stick through a plastic bottle to create a handle, then burn the bottle by a small lighter, super hot molten plastic will start dropping down like napalm, [just like this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3xHHVWhP5A). Kills every thing it touchs. I did this so may times that, after awhile, it's really hard to find a single fire ants nest in my local area.
#75
I once swatted a mockingbird out of the sky. I thought it was a bug
#76
Touched an electrical plug while it being slightly connected to an outlet. Gave me a shock. And, the details escape me, but somehow producing blue sparks from an electrical plug and outlet. Then on, I'm afraid of electricity.
What do you think ?
R.C. 2 years ago
When my younger sister was 4 and I was 5 I talked her into jumping down an entire flight of stairs in our house. She almost made it! She landed 3 steps from the bottom and crashed the rest of the way down. She then just curled into a ball, not making a sound or moving. I remember being terrified that I'd killed her. Not because she would be dead but because I'd be in soooooo much trouble. She wasn't seriously injured in the end. She just had the breath knocked out of her. I then somehow convinced her not to tell our parents.
DJR 2 years ago
...in keeping with the highest traditions of older siblings everywhere.
Load More Replies...
Corvus 2 years ago
I've done two crappy kids as a kid, both of which involving my grandma. Once I told her over the phone that we were "starving." Cue my grandma arriving with two huge bags of various food products (and my mom being very puzzled about this delivery). One other time I told her (again over the phone) that my parents were physically fighting each other, prompting her to come visit us in a panic. I have no idea why I told her such things, and I must have been about 3 or 4 y.o. when it happened. None of it was true, of course - we weren't starving or fighting one another.
Debbie 2 years ago
Kids being kids... With that I mean: - applying kids logic to things we take for granted, but coming to a very different conclusion - kids being curious - kids being brutally honest at times (combined with weird memory to remember "bad" things that have been said around them) - kids having a vivid imagination at other times. Most posts were a learning moment. Often a painful one unfortunately.
Julia H 2 years ago
Honestly I don't know exactly who the guilty was. My sister (5 or 6) and me(4 or 5) were playing with matches. One of us decided to try and strike one. The spark and flame startled us and instinctively jumped tossing the match in the air. Unfortunately, we were standing next to a newspaper recycle bin...you know where this is going. The match went into the open bin and started to burn. We got our mom who quickly put out the fire. When she asked who started the fire, we blamed the neighbors boy, Danny. Yes, actual name from the 1960's. My mom went to tell Danny's mom what he did. Sigh, he had an alibi. He was taking a nap. We really should have gotten in more trouble than we did
Mimi777 2 years ago
We had to sit through a 2 hour long timeshare presentation for $200 on vacation a few weeks ago. We told our kid in the car on the way there we were going to play pretend and tell the lady we were moving out of the country. So as I’m telling the lady my kid comes up and whispers in my ear “she doesn’t know we’re lying to her.” Lol I just spoke louder hoping she didn’t hear my kid. Anyways it worked out pretty well and she didn’t really bug us about buying one after that.
John Dilligaf 2 years ago
not crappy, but .... my little 3 or 4 yr old self went charging out across the street, without looking. because my Grandfather happened to be walking down the sidewalk on the other side. Almost killed 3 generations of my family, me by being hit by a car and mam and grandpa from heart attacks.
Lisa Van Allen 2 years ago
My kid brother made my friend shriek with horror when she found him cleaning his French horn with my Tampax. "These are great! They get up into all the tight spots!" We still laugh at his innocence and my friend's hysteria.
Marley Nachi 2 years ago
Bring back the post about people who choose not to have children... then attach this one.
Keith Lancaster 1 year ago
Not me but, my Sister. She and a friend who both had children who were about five or six were on a bus. My Sister's friends daughter suddenly pointed to a field and said in a loud voice : look Mummy, that's where Daddy takes me when we play our special game. The bus went totally quiet, the driver called the police and yes indeed it was where Daddy took her for their "special game"
R.C. 2 years ago
When my younger sister was 4 and I was 5 I talked her into jumping down an entire flight of stairs in our house. She almost made it! She landed 3 steps from the bottom and crashed the rest of the way down. She then just curled into a ball, not making a sound or moving. I remember being terrified that I'd killed her. Not because she would be dead but because I'd be in soooooo much trouble. She wasn't seriously injured in the end. She just had the breath knocked out of her. I then somehow convinced her not to tell our parents.
DJR 2 years ago
...in keeping with the highest traditions of older siblings everywhere.
Load More Replies... Corvus 2 years ago
I've done two crappy kids as a kid, both of which involving my grandma. Once I told her over the phone that we were "starving." Cue my grandma arriving with two huge bags of various food products (and my mom being very puzzled about this delivery). One other time I told her (again over the phone) that my parents were physically fighting each other, prompting her to come visit us in a panic. I have no idea why I told her such things, and I must have been about 3 or 4 y.o. when it happened. None of it was true, of course - we weren't starving or fighting one another.
Debbie 2 years ago
Kids being kids... With that I mean: - applying kids logic to things we take for granted, but coming to a very different conclusion - kids being curious - kids being brutally honest at times (combined with weird memory to remember "bad" things that have been said around them) - kids having a vivid imagination at other times. Most posts were a learning moment. Often a painful one unfortunately.
Julia H 2 years ago
Honestly I don't know exactly who the guilty was. My sister (5 or 6) and me(4 or 5) were playing with matches. One of us decided to try and strike one. The spark and flame startled us and instinctively jumped tossing the match in the air. Unfortunately, we were standing next to a newspaper recycle bin...you know where this is going. The match went into the open bin and started to burn. We got our mom who quickly put out the fire. When she asked who started the fire, we blamed the neighbors boy, Danny. Yes, actual name from the 1960's. My mom went to tell Danny's mom what he did. Sigh, he had an alibi. He was taking a nap. We really should have gotten in more trouble than we did
Mimi777 2 years ago
We had to sit through a 2 hour long timeshare presentation for $200 on vacation a few weeks ago. We told our kid in the car on the way there we were going to play pretend and tell the lady we were moving out of the country. So as I’m telling the lady my kid comes up and whispers in my ear “she doesn’t know we’re lying to her.” Lol I just spoke louder hoping she didn’t hear my kid. Anyways it worked out pretty well and she didn’t really bug us about buying one after that.
John Dilligaf 2 years ago
not crappy, but .... my little 3 or 4 yr old self went charging out across the street, without looking. because my Grandfather happened to be walking down the sidewalk on the other side. Almost killed 3 generations of my family, me by being hit by a car and mam and grandpa from heart attacks.
Lisa Van Allen 2 years ago
My kid brother made my friend shriek with horror when she found him cleaning his French horn with my Tampax. "These are great! They get up into all the tight spots!" We still laugh at his innocence and my friend's hysteria.
Marley Nachi 2 years ago
Bring back the post about people who choose not to have children... then attach this one.
Keith Lancaster 1 year ago
Not me but, my Sister. She and a friend who both had children who were about five or six were on a bus. My Sister's friends daughter suddenly pointed to a field and said in a loud voice : look Mummy, that's where Daddy takes me when we play our special game. The bus went totally quiet, the driver called the police and yes indeed it was where Daddy took her for their "special game"
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