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Boss’s Insulting Secret Santa Gift Makes Worker Quit Months Later, HR Gets Involved
Tight deadlines for year-end tasks and preparing for the next can make the holiday season a stressful time at work. So, companies usually add a little celebration to lighten the mood. But one employee shared a story of how a Secret Santa exchange only made things worse. They carefully chose a thoughtful gift for their boss, wrapping it in a cute box. However, in return, the boss gave a mockery of a present, ultimately adding to the employee’s decision to leave the job altogether.
RELATED:
The holiday season can get hectic at the office
Image credits: Kateryna Hliznitsova/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
And for this worker, a gift exchange with their boss only added to their stress
Image credits: Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: RadioSupply
These awkward and hurtful situations are the reason why people aren’t pumped about Secret Santa in the first place
On paper, the holiday tradition can help bigger groups exchange presents pretty efficiently, but much of its success depends on who’s involved.
For example, this year’s survey taken by financial comparison platform Money.com.au revealed that 50 percent of Australians resent Secret Santa at the office, making it the nation’s most hated part of holiday shopping.
Gifts for other people’s kids, such as nieces, nephews, and friends’ children came in second place with 40 percent, while gifts for neighbors (27 percent) and in-laws (26 percent) ranked next.
“There’s often a sense of obligation to participate in workplace or social gifting traditions, even when budgets are tight,” Money.com.au finance expert Sean Callery said.
“Secret Santa or gifts for distant relatives or acquaintances can feel more like a box-ticking exercise than spreading festive cheer. In a time of rising cost-of-living pressures, some people might question these purchases and focus on more meaningful gifts for their closest loved ones instead.”
Image credits: Jess Bailey/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
In fact, cost-cutting and the desire to avoid mingling with colleagues are pushing many workers to miss their office Christmas parties.
In the UK, for instance, data compiled by recruitment firm Robert Walters found that about half of 1,700 professionals did not plan to attend their office Christmas party this year, while 42 percent believed the whole thing creates too much pressure to socialize with their fellow staff. Additionally, a quarter said these gatherings are not inclusive, with the potential for alcohol-fueled faux pax damaging company culture.
Twenty-two percent also said they were put off by costs associated with attendance, such as outfits, taxi bills, and—of course—Secret Santa gifts.
Lastly, research conducted by the Society for Human Resource Management discovered that 72 percent of employees rank “respectful treatment of all employees at all levels” as the top factor in job satisfaction. So the fact that the Redditor said goodbye to the company a few months later doesn’t really come as a surprise.
As people commented on the story, its author joined the discussion in the comments
The reactions just kept pouring in
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What do you think ?
G A 3 weeks ago (edited)
Secret Santa needs to die, horribly, in a puddle of tears. It's truly sh1t. I refuse to participate any more. Wasted too much time and effort for a net loss.
Weasel Wise 3 weeks ago (edited)
I wanna disagree simply cuz I really love gift giving....but I'll never participate in another secret santa or white elephant gift exchange ever again. Like OP, I don't go over my dollar amount but I put a lot of thought and effort into doing something special for the person I drew. This has NEVER been the case for whomever drew my name. My experience has always been like I'm receiving a gift from Creed Bratton (from The Office): the giver forgot until the last second and grabbed a random piece of cràp they don't use around their house, stuffed it in a paper bag, and called it good. No joke, I seriously got two partially used notepads and a few old pens one year. Or absolutely nothing.
Load More Replies...
Ace 3 weeks ago
What happened to the "Secret" part of this? I thought the whole point was that you got a surprise gift without knowing who it was from. Having it public, and in this case apparently assigning partners to exchange gifts, makes a mockery of an already awkward concept.
Pencil 3 weeks ago
I couldn't agree more. And as a manager for many years, I always felt it was wrong to force employees to spend even a penny of their money to participate in a job-related event. Let alone to spend money on me, personally. And Secret Santa puts people in the awkward position of having to feign some kind of personal connection with co-workers they have nothing more than a strictly professional relationship with. Employees who were actual friends could do whatever they pleased outside of work. We'd host a small company party and give cash bonuses. Worked out just fine.
Load More Replies...
Robert Beveridge 3 weeks ago
"HR fails to take action" is the single least surprising phrase I have ever read in a headline.
whiterabbit 3 weeks ago
Simple. Don't participate in secret Santa or white elephant or whatever they choose to do at your work, it's not a requirement. My work did secret Santa on top of all the workers pitching in for a gift for my truly horrible boss. I participated the first year because I was new and didn't have the balls yet to say no, since then I just unapologetically said that's a hard no from me for any of it. Now nobody does the secret Santa or the gift for my boss, they just needed one person to say no for everyone to feel comfortable admitting it was dumb and nobody enjoyed doing it.
Jane Jayne Jain Jeign Jein 3 weeks ago
Should have filled an official complaint about misappropriation of funds if she used the company card.
Becca not Becky 3 weeks ago
Secret Santa only works with cool coworkers and strict budget rules. We just did it at my work (we're all nurses, so similar income), but our budget was no less than $20 and no more than $30. Each name card had our favorite color, favorite drink, favorite snacks, and hobbies/interests. Participation was completely voluntary. The person I got was happy with her present (I saw her open it but I never included my name) and I'm really happy with mine. I only do Secret Santa if I have cool coworkers and if it's set up like this.
Nils Skirnir 3 weeks ago
I’ve only had two. Don’t remember what they were. Not bad, but def not useful. Left both in office trashcan
Sathe Wesker 3 weeks ago
I used to do it way back when (and the only time) I worked in an office. I used to walk around saying “I like books! I like “Chapters” or “Indigo”.” And always got what I wanted (a simple freaking gift card for that store) and used to ask people close to the person I got and did my best. Wasn’t hard. But! My partner always, and I mean always, gets clothing that are way too small for him or just don’t make sense. He did not participate this year.
BossyHossy1 3 weeks ago
My co-woker, no class at all, got our soon-to-be-divorced boss edible underwear to get her back out on the dating scene. My boss was late 50's lady and a born again Christian. She didn't know what it was and when told went into her office for a while.
AtMostAFabulist 3 weeks ago (edited)
I always seem to get the presents no one gave thought to. A scented candle when everyone knows i am allergic. An unwrapped container of sea salt coco mix, which was nowhere on my suggestion list. We had a white elephant gift this year and I was the last one to choose. I stole a box of chocolates from someone else and they got the last gift. Which was a company branded pen, pad of sticky notes and notebook. That person was pissed and I was so glad it wasn't me for once.
Miriam Insidecor 3 weeks ago
Any Secret Santa we've arranged at work has had a wishlist rule. Everyone participating would list a top 3 of the type of presents they'd like to receive and their Santa would gift them one. What way it helps to focus buying the presents and it's something the recipient would actually like. I usually ask for plants.
Jessica SpeLangm 3 weeks ago
I agree with altonaerjunge above....OP should take the gift and garland back and give those things to her mother who would appreciate them. Call me a Grinch. That's what the boss is and deserves all the hate coming to her, hopefully from the other employees.
Joanne Hudson 2 weeks ago
I think my reaction to a s****y gift would be to hand it back, saying "I know it was a sacrifice for you to part with something that is obviously important to you, so you keep it."
Lisa Watson 2 weeks ago
I had 2 years in a row where I gave a thoughtful gift and received nothing at all from the person who had pulled me. I no longer participate in these when invited.
Michael Largey 3 weeks ago
Secret Santa is a Santa that should stay a complete secret - never to be heard of or from again.
Damned_Cat 3 weeks ago
We had to change our Secret Santa rules from "a limit" of $25 to "A suggested value of about $25" in an attempt to prevent people from cheaping out. We also let staff know that they are not required to sign up, but if they do, it's a commitment to follow the rules. We had two employees who happened to draw each other's names. One employee went all out to get the best gift from the recipient's list and wrapped it beautifully in a theme they would appreciate. The other employee ran down to the dollar store on the morning of the exchange and bought two cheap, ugly plastic bracelets (not on the recipient's list) and stuffed them into a tiny bag that she made by stapling a piece of copy paper into a rectangle. We secretly referred to the change in guidelines as "The Annie Rule". Annie told her co-workers that she forgot that she signed up for Secret Santa and then didn't have the money for it that day.
PoAngielsku 2 weeks ago
Another fake story that the Bored Panda "editors" regurgitated without any thought. "Secret Santa" that's not secret. Depriving mother of gift to give something to the boss. HR "got involved" but nothing happened. Seriously, how many clues do the editors need before they figure out that something is fake?
ANGEL M 2 weeks ago
I argue every year that the secret santa stay at £5.00, and I get push every year that you can't get anything for £5.00. I tell them it's possible because I manage it, it's about the thinking behind it and it's only supposed to be a little fun nothing life changing. I just remember years ago i was on hard times and i actually looked in my house for a gift i had got years ago from my family that I thought that the person I drew would like.
Ruth Watry 2 weeks ago
Employees should never be guilted (by boss of coworkers) into spending on gifts or parties. I don't want to be in a position where I may have to buy a gift for a toxic coworker. I don't want to contribute to the birthday party for somebody who I do not like. Often, even if a person has the right to not participate, other coworkers look down on them, and sometimes bully or insult them. I remember when I was young and could barely buy groceries, but I was afraid that if I said no, it might result in problems at work.
G A 3 weeks ago (edited)
Secret Santa needs to die, horribly, in a puddle of tears. It's truly sh1t. I refuse to participate any more. Wasted too much time and effort for a net loss.
Weasel Wise 3 weeks ago (edited)
I wanna disagree simply cuz I really love gift giving....but I'll never participate in another secret santa or white elephant gift exchange ever again. Like OP, I don't go over my dollar amount but I put a lot of thought and effort into doing something special for the person I drew. This has NEVER been the case for whomever drew my name. My experience has always been like I'm receiving a gift from Creed Bratton (from The Office): the giver forgot until the last second and grabbed a random piece of cràp they don't use around their house, stuffed it in a paper bag, and called it good. No joke, I seriously got two partially used notepads and a few old pens one year. Or absolutely nothing.
Load More Replies... Ace 3 weeks ago
What happened to the "Secret" part of this? I thought the whole point was that you got a surprise gift without knowing who it was from. Having it public, and in this case apparently assigning partners to exchange gifts, makes a mockery of an already awkward concept.
Pencil 3 weeks ago
I couldn't agree more. And as a manager for many years, I always felt it was wrong to force employees to spend even a penny of their money to participate in a job-related event. Let alone to spend money on me, personally. And Secret Santa puts people in the awkward position of having to feign some kind of personal connection with co-workers they have nothing more than a strictly professional relationship with. Employees who were actual friends could do whatever they pleased outside of work. We'd host a small company party and give cash bonuses. Worked out just fine.
Load More Replies... Robert Beveridge 3 weeks ago
"HR fails to take action" is the single least surprising phrase I have ever read in a headline.
whiterabbit 3 weeks ago
Simple. Don't participate in secret Santa or white elephant or whatever they choose to do at your work, it's not a requirement. My work did secret Santa on top of all the workers pitching in for a gift for my truly horrible boss. I participated the first year because I was new and didn't have the balls yet to say no, since then I just unapologetically said that's a hard no from me for any of it. Now nobody does the secret Santa or the gift for my boss, they just needed one person to say no for everyone to feel comfortable admitting it was dumb and nobody enjoyed doing it.
Jane Jayne Jain Jeign Jein 3 weeks ago
Should have filled an official complaint about misappropriation of funds if she used the company card.
Becca not Becky 3 weeks ago
Secret Santa only works with cool coworkers and strict budget rules. We just did it at my work (we're all nurses, so similar income), but our budget was no less than $20 and no more than $30. Each name card had our favorite color, favorite drink, favorite snacks, and hobbies/interests. Participation was completely voluntary. The person I got was happy with her present (I saw her open it but I never included my name) and I'm really happy with mine. I only do Secret Santa if I have cool coworkers and if it's set up like this.
Nils Skirnir 3 weeks ago
I’ve only had two. Don’t remember what they were. Not bad, but def not useful. Left both in office trashcan
Sathe Wesker 3 weeks ago
I used to do it way back when (and the only time) I worked in an office. I used to walk around saying “I like books! I like “Chapters” or “Indigo”.” And always got what I wanted (a simple freaking gift card for that store) and used to ask people close to the person I got and did my best. Wasn’t hard. But! My partner always, and I mean always, gets clothing that are way too small for him or just don’t make sense. He did not participate this year.
BossyHossy1 3 weeks ago
My co-woker, no class at all, got our soon-to-be-divorced boss edible underwear to get her back out on the dating scene. My boss was late 50's lady and a born again Christian. She didn't know what it was and when told went into her office for a while.
AtMostAFabulist 3 weeks ago (edited)
I always seem to get the presents no one gave thought to. A scented candle when everyone knows i am allergic. An unwrapped container of sea salt coco mix, which was nowhere on my suggestion list. We had a white elephant gift this year and I was the last one to choose. I stole a box of chocolates from someone else and they got the last gift. Which was a company branded pen, pad of sticky notes and notebook. That person was pissed and I was so glad it wasn't me for once.
Miriam Insidecor 3 weeks ago
Any Secret Santa we've arranged at work has had a wishlist rule. Everyone participating would list a top 3 of the type of presents they'd like to receive and their Santa would gift them one. What way it helps to focus buying the presents and it's something the recipient would actually like. I usually ask for plants.
Jessica SpeLangm 3 weeks ago
I agree with altonaerjunge above....OP should take the gift and garland back and give those things to her mother who would appreciate them. Call me a Grinch. That's what the boss is and deserves all the hate coming to her, hopefully from the other employees.
Joanne Hudson 2 weeks ago
I think my reaction to a s****y gift would be to hand it back, saying "I know it was a sacrifice for you to part with something that is obviously important to you, so you keep it."
Lisa Watson 2 weeks ago
I had 2 years in a row where I gave a thoughtful gift and received nothing at all from the person who had pulled me. I no longer participate in these when invited.
Michael Largey 3 weeks ago
Secret Santa is a Santa that should stay a complete secret - never to be heard of or from again.
Damned_Cat 3 weeks ago
We had to change our Secret Santa rules from "a limit" of $25 to "A suggested value of about $25" in an attempt to prevent people from cheaping out. We also let staff know that they are not required to sign up, but if they do, it's a commitment to follow the rules. We had two employees who happened to draw each other's names. One employee went all out to get the best gift from the recipient's list and wrapped it beautifully in a theme they would appreciate. The other employee ran down to the dollar store on the morning of the exchange and bought two cheap, ugly plastic bracelets (not on the recipient's list) and stuffed them into a tiny bag that she made by stapling a piece of copy paper into a rectangle. We secretly referred to the change in guidelines as "The Annie Rule". Annie told her co-workers that she forgot that she signed up for Secret Santa and then didn't have the money for it that day.
PoAngielsku 2 weeks ago
Another fake story that the Bored Panda "editors" regurgitated without any thought. "Secret Santa" that's not secret. Depriving mother of gift to give something to the boss. HR "got involved" but nothing happened. Seriously, how many clues do the editors need before they figure out that something is fake?
ANGEL M 2 weeks ago
I argue every year that the secret santa stay at £5.00, and I get push every year that you can't get anything for £5.00. I tell them it's possible because I manage it, it's about the thinking behind it and it's only supposed to be a little fun nothing life changing. I just remember years ago i was on hard times and i actually looked in my house for a gift i had got years ago from my family that I thought that the person I drew would like.
Ruth Watry 2 weeks ago
Employees should never be guilted (by boss of coworkers) into spending on gifts or parties. I don't want to be in a position where I may have to buy a gift for a toxic coworker. I don't want to contribute to the birthday party for somebody who I do not like. Often, even if a person has the right to not participate, other coworkers look down on them, and sometimes bully or insult them. I remember when I was young and could barely buy groceries, but I was afraid that if I said no, it might result in problems at work.
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