Even in more progressive countries, queer folks sometimes have to deal with blatant, to-your-face homophobia. Sometimes it can be in the family, at school, or in the workplace. In the US, roughly 40% of queer women and 20% of queer men do not feel comfortable being out among their coworkers. But sometimes, an enterprising person can make a homophobe’s bigotry backfire.

An internet user shared the time they were harassed by a homophobic coworker at a nursery. Under the veil of ‘protecting the children,’ the coworker ordered OP to not touch them during the course of their work. So he maliciously complied, leaving her to do basically everything all day while perfectly honoring her wishes.

More info: Reddit

Workplace homophobia is still an unfortunate reality among the LGBTI+ community

Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk (not the actual photo)

A queer man shared his experience with a coworker that detested him over his sexuality

Image credits: ccullinansmith (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Engin Akyurt (not the actual photo)

After a practically offensive tirade, he decided to maliciously comply with her demands

Image credits: DC_Studio (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Low-Anteater9171

Discrimination isn’t always as blatantly visible as in OP’s story

We got in touch with Low-Anteater9171 to learn a bit more about how they felt during the course of the story. We wanted to know if they expected the sort of reaction they got from Dina. “I was pretty surprised to encounter it, yeah. You don’t expect a place like a nursery to have such a hostile environment, especially to kids.” Fortunately, Low-Anteater9171 expressed that he still had a good experience at this job. “I was placed with the kids that were a little older, and they were the sweetest, even with that woman there. If I had the choice to go back to that exact place, I would definitely accept, cause it was a great time with great kids, and the other adults there were really lovely and kind.”

On the surface, one can’t always tell if a coworker will end up being homophobic and bigoted. As a result, many queer workers tend to hide their sexuality just to be on the safe side. Women and junior employees tend to be the most private about it, as only 58% of women have reported feeling safe to publicly come out. The number among junior workers is even lower, at 32%, as these people prefer to get a feel for their coworkers. This creates an environment of threat, as queer employees feel on edge even around coworkers that might not be homophobic. The only demographic that tends to feel secure coming out are senior managers, likely due to the safety they have from discrimination. A homophobe that harasses their boss probably won’t hold a job too much longer.

Even in workplaces where most people don’t care about a person’s sexuality, queer employees report feeling like their coworkers ‘forget’ their orientation. They will be constantly asked about their wife even if they are married to a man and people will mistake their partners for siblings. This leaves them feeling excluded and ignored, akin to a coworker regularly mixing up your name. Around 37% queer employees feel workplace discomfort over their orientation even in cases where there isn’t blatant discrimination or abuse. It’s hard to feel part of a team when your ‘teammates’ can’t even take a second to internalize an important aspect of your life.

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Image credits: Barış Keskin (not the actual photo)

Companies need to find ways to help queer employees not feel at risk

While OP’s story was a clear and blatant example of homophobia, it no doubt is driven by insufficient oversight and the age gap between OP and ‘Dina,’ many queer workers report discrimination that is masked in some way. Many countries do have strong anti-discrimination laws, but it can at times be hard to pinpoint exactly why a coworker is acting nasty or why a boss denies a promotion. Homophobes often present their discrimination through the lens of “it’s not personal,” deflecting from the impact it has on the individual. This can protect them from retaliation, as they can argue that they weren’t being discriminatory, they just express themselves this way. More than likely, they knew exactly what they were doing.

Sometimes discrimination isn’t actually personal, rather, it’s the result of organizational oversight. Some queer workers report not getting the same spousal benefits since their workplace doesn’t see a non-hetero partnership as equal. Queer employees might be denied child leave if they have a kid through surrogacy or other methods, many companies don’t offer trans-inclusive healthcare coverage, and customer-facing employees often aren’t adequately protected from homophobic clients. As a result, queer workers feel more pressure and stress just doing their jobs due to non-inclusive policies. The bottom line is that companies, even in relatively progressive nations, still have a lot they need to do.

Image credits: Manuel Stingl (not the actual photo)

Commenters expressed their shock at the bigoted coworker and admiration for OP’s handling of the situation

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Others shared and commiserated with their own experiences with discrimination

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