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10 throw pillows on the couch and 15 on the bed. A dozen healthy plants scattered around the living room and trinkets and knick-knacks lining every shelf. The scent of a fresh, lemon candle burning in the entryway and banana bread baking in the oven. Does this sound like a bachelor pad to you?
Men and women are not monoliths, and there are plenty of guys who have cozy, welcoming homes. But there are also some men out there whose living spaces benefited greatly from “a woman’s touch,” so they've recently been sharing their experiences on Reddit. Below, you’ll find a variety of the ways having a woman move in transformed these guys’ homes, so enjoy reading these amusing responses and upvoting any you can relate to. And keep reading to find a conversation with home design expert Melanie Boyden of Melanie Jade Design!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I came home once from work. She’d made an awesome dinner. Put cut up strawberries in the salad.
Strawberries guys. It was game over.
Been married nine years now and she’s still doing everything on a strawberries-in-the-salad level.
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#2
Water glasses everywhere, bathrooms are now a disaster, lost my race tire storage room, and there's a cat, dog, and 4yr old running around now. (The last one is half my fault). Totally worth it, she's the best thing that's ever happened to me.
#3
She changed the sheets. Like, what is this? Buckingham Palace?
To learn more about the impact a woman's touch can have on a bachelor pad, we reached out to Melanie Boyden, creator of Melanie Jade Design. We were curious what differences the expert has observed between spaces that are occupied by single men and single women. "I am constantly looking at homes, reading about them in magazines, and helping people design their own spaces," Melanie shared.
"The main differences I have observed are en tend to gravitate towards neutral colours like blacks, greys, and browns with maybe a bold accent thrown in. They also prefer low-maintenance, durable and straightforward materials like leather, metal and dark wood," the design expert explained. "Women lean more towards a broader and sometimes more colorful palette, incorporating pastels, earth tones, or jewel tones more frequently. They might opt for a mix of textures like velvets, faux furs, and soft linens and go for a layered look. They also seem to be more open to adding plants and artwork into their homes."
#4
She always gets vanilla candles and now this house always smells like a bakery and GOD DAMMIT I LOVE IT
#5
She replaced my cardboard box with an end table. Unnecessarily.
#6
A friend of mine -who grew up with his dad and two brothers- told me they found out his dad had a girlfriend when suddenly a candle appeared in the livingroom out of nowhere.
While Melanie notes that bachelor pads can be very stylish, she's noticed that they tend to miss elements that would enhance the comfort and appearance of their home. "Rooms can be a bit sparse and lacking items like layered lighting (floor and table lamps), softer textures like a plush rug or a blanket on their leather sofa (which can be cold and feel steril)," she explained. "And think about the walls! Does it need more personal artwork? A mirror? Most definitely a plant or two."
#7
Worked on a ship when a female cook-steward started working there, before the crew were all male.
Within a couple of days the mess and galley were transformed. Tablecloths, curtains, coasters, it was really all new, the galley became a water-cooler kinda place where you always could go to have a chat and get a snack, the galley always smelled of cooking and she was listening to her radio. It was a real game changer from the former grumpy guy and sterile setting. Our skipper loved it.
#8
My formerly pristine white walls suddenly had art on them.
My front door grew a doormat.
My bathroom got a wicker basket with cheesy slogans on the interior lining. "Home is where the heart is" and other such remarkable sayings.
The walls in my shower now contain, what I can only assume is also decorative in intent, long strands of hair.
The drain needs regular cleaning because it, too, is full of long hairs.
The kitchen is always clean and I have 12 different glasses for all kinds of beverages. And 8 cups for variations of coffee and soups.
The fridge keeps track of all the cards we received. Since she moved in, those are many. Before her, I received none.
Astrophile 1 year ago
So glad I have fine hair 😅 It’s thick as hell but baby fine and I’ve honestly never had an issue with hair in the shower *knocks on wood*
#9
She stopped me from almost burning down my apartment when she pulled an entire stuffed animal worth of lint out of my drier. I didn't know that was a thing.
As far as how couples can work together to create a space that feels like home for both of them, Melanie says the key is communication. "Before making any design decisions, couples need to discuss what they like and don't like and compromise. They need to start by taking an inventory of their belongings and deciding what will stay and what needs to go, as no one likes living in a cluttered home (and this can lead to arguments)," the expert notes.
#10
She made a raised flower bed in my backyard and planted a nice little vegetable garden.
Astrophile 1 year ago
Aww everyone should have a veggie garden! I don’t have the room or yard but I regrow my green onions/lettuces/herbs/celery on my apartment window sill in lil reused pasta sauce jars with a lil water :)
#11
My bed was a mattress in the floor for like 5 years, she bought a bed frame. Married her
Raumpfleger 1 year ago
That's the ONLY thing I still miss after 17 years: sleeping on a mattress on the floor. While I agree that a bed looks much better, don't ask me why, I just sleep so much better on the floor.
#12
I work in a male dominated industry, and in a smaller office the women were the reason for the kitchen being clean, there being cake and cookies on birthdays or just for fun, for team picnics and fun activities being had.
And finally bring on a team with a 50/50 gender ratio, the men even picked up on some of it, especially in terms of emotional ques. Compliments on a haircut, checking in when someone seemed down, a little 5-7 or gift when someone achieved something or like, had a baby.
My own little women team were so close, none if us wirk together anymore, but we still talk all the time, we'd vompliment each other, tell each other we love them, always help one out.
Emotional labour of women in companies is HUGE
"The couple will probably have their own unique style, so it is important to find a way to blend these styles together, such as mid-century modern or transitional design. Also, if room allows, it is important for each person to have a little personal space, even if it's a corner or a nook," Melanie says.
"Finally, consider neutral colours as this can act as a blank canvas, allowing both people to accessorise with their own items. If they do need to shop for the person moving in, make sure they shop together," the expert added. "That way, they can both voice opinions and find items that resonate with both."
#13
For myself, it is scented hand soaps. As a bachelor, I got whatever orange-looking cheapo bottle I could get. My girlfriend/wife moves in and loads up on bakery-scented hand soaps in the bathrooms. One day, when I got home, I told her we had to have a serious adult discussion. 'What scent to pick out next?' To this day, 'serious adult discussion' is code for 'Out of soap. What should we use next?'
#14
You ever play a game you think you're doing pretty well with. I fought the minions. I explored the castle. I beat the boss. I saved the princess. I did all the stuff. I succeeded. I beat the game. In this analogy, I cooked, I vacuumed, I did laundry, I dusted here and there, and overall took good care of my home. I own my own little place, and I did what I could to make an old place look at least lived in and comfortable and clean. I organized it to the best of my own ability, taking time to map out the rooms and layout and all that. I really felt like I'd done a decent job. Friends often told me "I feel at home in your home." A girl I'd never met was the +1 of a dear friend for a New Year's party I hosted coming into 2020 (ah, innocent times) who told me she felt safe enough to have someone else make her drink for her at my party. That was an incredible compliment. I did the thing, ya know?
Then I met my fiance. She's finishing a degree in interior design, and when she moved in, worked with me (fully cooperative and communicated) to change the decor and layout of the house. Literally no issue whatsoever. Bachelor pad and "home we will share together" are dramatically different looks. Keep that in mind, fellas. It isn't YOUR way anymore. You blend and compromise and grow.
Anyway, wow.
My house looks so much nicer. Like, I thought I knew how to play this game. I beat the boss, lol. But man. She came in with the up up down down combo breaker b******t and turned my house into a home. We repainted the living room, kitchen, bathroom, bedroom. We've changed decor. We've added pictures and rugs and lights. I dunno, man. My house doesn't look like "MY" house anymore because of her... It looks so much better. We work really well together because we're both understanding that this is a home we SHARE, and so there are influences of my style, her style, all that. The office where I work was basically 100% my design because I'm the one primarily there. She wanted to do a room for herself, and we decided on the bedroom. We both felt fulfilled, respected, and heard. I know some guys don't like the idea of the lady's touch. Those guys either have ladies who don't listen to them or they don't listen to their ladies, because this whole mutual respect thing really worked out well for me, at least.
10/10, I advise getting yourself one of them there "lady's touch" designer gals. Mine is top notch :)
Legen ( wait for it ) dary 1 year ago
She's a keeper and the thankfully and respectfully way you speak about her, you are a keeper too.
#15
A warmth and happiness I didn’t know I was missing and CERTAINLY didn’t know how to cultivate. Art, glassware style unity, refrigerator organization, multiple sets of sheets…
The list goes on. A million little touches that compile a happy home
"The best thing to do is to try and be respectful of each other's design choices," Melanie told Bored Panda. "It is really not worth fighting over an additional cushion on the sofa, or the boyfriend keeping his favorite painting of his childhood pet on the wall. And above all, communicate."
If you'd like to hear more words of wisdom and design tips from the expert, be sure to visit her website Melanie Jade Design!
#16
I couldn’t keep my motorcycle in the living room or my tools and parts in the kitchen cabinets anymore
#17
Apparently I am supposed to have pictures of my loved ones in my house. Who knew?
#18
My wife still tells the story. We've been together for 6 yrs. She said that when she first saw my place she immediately had fratboy/treehouse vibe to it. Bare room, Non-matching furniture. Nothing on the wall. She added pictures on the wall, made the balcony nicer and organized my kitchen so everything is easily accessible. When we moved into our house, she organized everything. Things did change a little after living in it for a year. She did realize how I wanted my kitchen (primary cook). I ended up putting stuff where I wanted it, so she made changes. I absolutely love our house now. We have friends come and hang out atleast twice a month. We've cooked and entertained for as many as 15 people, and it turned out great. Highly recommend a woman's touch to your treehouse/prison cell decor.
#19
Pictures, curtains, cushions. Little tables to put your drinks on. Coasters! So much stuff, bless her.
Mike Fitzpatrick 1 year ago
When I rented a house with my brother, my mom came over and told me "honey (which is the word that prefaced each time you were supposed to pay close attention) you got to have curtains in your house!". In each successive house I've made sure there's curtains, lol! RIP, mom.
#20
My house is plain as f**k. My ex had it looking like a home. Decor/rugs/wall hangings etc etc. It was 10x better. She took it all when she left and I never got around to trying it out myself. I should tho. It really looked so much better.
#21
Towels.
We have shower towels, hair drying towels, bathroom hand towels, kitchen hand towels and certain towels for wiping your mouth and then different towels to clean with
Never try to wipe your hands on the wrong kind of kitchen towel or to wipe up a spill with the wrong towel
#22
Lots of plushies moved in with her, some of them now sleep on the bed.
Firstname Lastname 1 year ago
I admittedly have a lot of plushies, but anyone who I have shared a bed with has always made sure I'm tucked in with one, and then proceeds to steal it to cuddle with themselves when they go to bed.
#24
It was bare, terrible feng shui, random clutter, no decorations, no plants, dusty, bed mostly unmade. I had a massive wrap around couch in my bedroom that I salvaged from the street, which was quickly relocated.
Endless candles. New cooking utensils I’d never seen before in my life and didn’t know how to use. Toilet roll that used to last me years now lasts months. I eat more healthily, drink less, go on nice trips more. Generally massive improvements with minor drawbacks.
9/10 recommend.
#25
Different sizes of tea cups. I used to just make tea in a ceramic 1L beer stein.
#27
my messy fridge turned into a very clean and organized *refrigeratohr*
#28
We now have, without exaggeration, 15 end tables in the house. 4 more in the attic just in case.
Astrophile 1 year ago
To be fair, you can use end tables for so many activities. Can never have enough.
#29
Lotions. For different seasons. She has a method to which ones she uses when. And they’re not cheap either.
Tiny Dynamine 1 year ago
Isn't it weird that men don't have to use any, but women have to use lots? It's almost as if they beauty industry has its hands around around women's throats.
#30
I think for me the biggest difference is having a more well-stuffed fridge, and just in general having more fresh food and a more varied and healthy diet compared to when single. When living alone I just mostly stocked up on the bare minimum when it came to food, and could have the same type of meal for several days in a row.
I have actually always been very much into decorating and flowers and such - perhaps more so than my partner - so that part didn't really change much.
What do you think ?
Tracy Wallick 1 year ago (edited)
I'm in the military, which is a very male-dominated profession. My workplace is a gray cubicle farm, but you can tell even from a distance which desk is mine; I have no less than 8 live plants, pictures of my dogs, cute magnets on my metal cabinets, a Van Gogh desk mat and hand rest.... on the daily I get compliments for having turned my cubicle into a little green oasis. EDIT: I keep telling people when they come by, that if I'm gonna spend 40+ hours a week here, it doesn't have to be depressing!
Legen ( wait for it ) dary 1 year ago
Me too. I got the conclusion that my decoration skills are 0. I thing I should get myself a wife.
Load More Replies...
mandy the capibara 1 year ago
I'm not sure if there are any men (or anyone) who need to hear this, but you are worthy of buying nice things for yourself. Investing in making a nice home for yourself is a bit like sporting or investing in social relationships, you may sometimes not like it, or feel like it is unnecessary, but it will make you feel better in the long run.
Appalachian Panda 1 year ago
Strangely enough, I'm a man and am capable of decorating, buying nice things, and cleaning up after myself. Am I the weird one?
Potato 1 year ago
No. Anyone can have a taste for decorating, regardless of gender. Women tend to decorate more because of nurture, not nature.
Load More Replies...
David A Paterson 1 year ago
For me the real shocker was beds. I had a good quality queen size bed. She moves in and suddenly we have six more beds. Only two people in the house, two bedrooms, beds for eight. "Just in case someone wants to come and sleep over".
Legen ( wait for it ) dary 1 year ago
Sleep over in David A Paterson this weekend everyone!! They have space for 8. Who's with me? 😅😅
Load More Replies...
Magazine 1 year ago
This was so sweet, it almost brought me to tears. Oh who am I kidding, I am crying
Lisa Myers 1 year ago
I agree! I love reading things like this, and it has brought tears to my eyes.
Load More Replies...
Celtic Pirate Queen 1 year ago
My husband loves our home, and tells me so constantly. I love interior design & have made every effort to create a warm, inviting & peaceful space for us. Vanilla candles are one of my "go-to's" for giving it that homey vibe. Oh - and the books. I collect hardbacks. When we moved from San Diego to Springfield, OR I donated about 600 to the library, but we still had 38 boxes (about 800). I just think books really make a home.
kath morgan 1 year ago
We don’t necessarily enjoy having to take responsibility for all this, you know.
ZGutr 1 year ago
I emigrated a few months ahead of my wife. Threw a mattress in the corner, dog bed close by and done. (I'm either working or out with the dog). During a visit the 2nd week she took us to Ikea for a dinner table + chairs, a comfy chair and some small stuff. Not much but made a *big* difference and added comfort and 'warmth' until she arrived with all our stuff.
DennyS (denzoren) 1 year ago
When I was at uni I lived in an apartment building where two people shared a living space ...with all guys but due to an emergency mid semester the guy sharing with me left and a girl moved it. It was an instant transformation. You'd wake up and walk out and it smelled like vanilla and scented stuff...that was the moment I was like damn...girls can make a place feel 100% different. lol
Lisa Myers 1 year ago
That's so nice! We women appreciate the nice things you fellas do, too! You make us feel appreciated and safe, and some of you are such wonderful companions and friends.
Load More Replies...
Satirecatsaysno 1 year ago
My now partner always says he didn't realise how bare rhe house was until I moved in! And I'm pretty much a minimalist! He claims previously he never saw the need for lighting the gorgeous stove. We live in ireland so it's not like it's not needed! But he now would never go back to before and will light it for himself if I'm ever away for the night for work. Such a small thing that he now can't live without come autumn! I don't think it's exactly a woman's touch though as my male friend introduced his now wife to the glory of an open fire! I think it's more about what people can introduce to each other that they never knew they needed. I never understood the need for a teapot and never owned one!!!! Since living together a pot of tea has been a game changer it tastes so much better!!! Such simple things but ya I feel its more about learning a new appreciation for something with someone when you start sharing space as opposed to the "woman's touch"
Natalie 1 year ago
This post is hilarious… reminds me of when my husband and I were dating; he had an apartment he shared with another male roommate, and one night I told them both straight up if they ever wanted to be laid they needed to make their place feel like a soft place - pictures, candles or scented oils, and a full length mirror!! By the next weekend all those things plus a bathroom accessory set was all set up.
Mike Fitzpatrick 1 year ago
@Justinas, you're rocking that new look! Hope everything is good, man.
Gustav Gallifrey 1 year ago
Lots of good things in all the posts, but the mentions of 'candles appeared in the house'... She is doing no-one any favours there, not him not her, no-one. Candles are FIRE HAZARDS. Cute, nice smelling, romantic, softly-illuminating FIRE HAZARDS.
LuckyTanuki 1 year ago
Did I misunderstand this? I thought it was supposed to be "a woman's touch". That doesn't include only good things, it can also mean the negatives as well. Was hoping for a mix of each to compare experiences. This seems incredibly cherry picked to only ones that make the ladies look good. Even the more neutral ones lean more positive than negative.
madbakes 1 year ago
It's the truth TO YOU. Many of the men who posted clearly appreciate what the women have done for their home and still felt heard and respected. Just because their are parts of traditional gender roles doesn't mean it's all forced or negative.
Load More Replies...
Tracy Wallick 1 year ago (edited)
I'm in the military, which is a very male-dominated profession. My workplace is a gray cubicle farm, but you can tell even from a distance which desk is mine; I have no less than 8 live plants, pictures of my dogs, cute magnets on my metal cabinets, a Van Gogh desk mat and hand rest.... on the daily I get compliments for having turned my cubicle into a little green oasis. EDIT: I keep telling people when they come by, that if I'm gonna spend 40+ hours a week here, it doesn't have to be depressing!
Legen ( wait for it ) dary 1 year ago
Me too. I got the conclusion that my decoration skills are 0. I thing I should get myself a wife.
Load More Replies... mandy the capibara 1 year ago
I'm not sure if there are any men (or anyone) who need to hear this, but you are worthy of buying nice things for yourself. Investing in making a nice home for yourself is a bit like sporting or investing in social relationships, you may sometimes not like it, or feel like it is unnecessary, but it will make you feel better in the long run.
Appalachian Panda 1 year ago
Strangely enough, I'm a man and am capable of decorating, buying nice things, and cleaning up after myself. Am I the weird one?
Potato 1 year ago
No. Anyone can have a taste for decorating, regardless of gender. Women tend to decorate more because of nurture, not nature.
Load More Replies... David A Paterson 1 year ago
For me the real shocker was beds. I had a good quality queen size bed. She moves in and suddenly we have six more beds. Only two people in the house, two bedrooms, beds for eight. "Just in case someone wants to come and sleep over".
Legen ( wait for it ) dary 1 year ago
Sleep over in David A Paterson this weekend everyone!! They have space for 8. Who's with me? 😅😅
Load More Replies... Magazine 1 year ago
This was so sweet, it almost brought me to tears. Oh who am I kidding, I am crying
Lisa Myers 1 year ago
I agree! I love reading things like this, and it has brought tears to my eyes.
Load More Replies... Celtic Pirate Queen 1 year ago
My husband loves our home, and tells me so constantly. I love interior design & have made every effort to create a warm, inviting & peaceful space for us. Vanilla candles are one of my "go-to's" for giving it that homey vibe. Oh - and the books. I collect hardbacks. When we moved from San Diego to Springfield, OR I donated about 600 to the library, but we still had 38 boxes (about 800). I just think books really make a home.
kath morgan 1 year ago
We don’t necessarily enjoy having to take responsibility for all this, you know.
ZGutr 1 year ago
I emigrated a few months ahead of my wife. Threw a mattress in the corner, dog bed close by and done. (I'm either working or out with the dog). During a visit the 2nd week she took us to Ikea for a dinner table + chairs, a comfy chair and some small stuff. Not much but made a *big* difference and added comfort and 'warmth' until she arrived with all our stuff.
DennyS (denzoren) 1 year ago
When I was at uni I lived in an apartment building where two people shared a living space ...with all guys but due to an emergency mid semester the guy sharing with me left and a girl moved it. It was an instant transformation. You'd wake up and walk out and it smelled like vanilla and scented stuff...that was the moment I was like damn...girls can make a place feel 100% different. lol
Lisa Myers 1 year ago
That's so nice! We women appreciate the nice things you fellas do, too! You make us feel appreciated and safe, and some of you are such wonderful companions and friends.
Load More Replies... Satirecatsaysno 1 year ago
My now partner always says he didn't realise how bare rhe house was until I moved in! And I'm pretty much a minimalist! He claims previously he never saw the need for lighting the gorgeous stove. We live in ireland so it's not like it's not needed! But he now would never go back to before and will light it for himself if I'm ever away for the night for work. Such a small thing that he now can't live without come autumn! I don't think it's exactly a woman's touch though as my male friend introduced his now wife to the glory of an open fire! I think it's more about what people can introduce to each other that they never knew they needed. I never understood the need for a teapot and never owned one!!!! Since living together a pot of tea has been a game changer it tastes so much better!!! Such simple things but ya I feel its more about learning a new appreciation for something with someone when you start sharing space as opposed to the "woman's touch"
Natalie 1 year ago
This post is hilarious… reminds me of when my husband and I were dating; he had an apartment he shared with another male roommate, and one night I told them both straight up if they ever wanted to be laid they needed to make their place feel like a soft place - pictures, candles or scented oils, and a full length mirror!! By the next weekend all those things plus a bathroom accessory set was all set up.
Mike Fitzpatrick 1 year ago
@Justinas, you're rocking that new look! Hope everything is good, man.
Gustav Gallifrey 1 year ago
Lots of good things in all the posts, but the mentions of 'candles appeared in the house'... She is doing no-one any favours there, not him not her, no-one. Candles are FIRE HAZARDS. Cute, nice smelling, romantic, softly-illuminating FIRE HAZARDS.
LuckyTanuki 1 year ago
Did I misunderstand this? I thought it was supposed to be "a woman's touch". That doesn't include only good things, it can also mean the negatives as well. Was hoping for a mix of each to compare experiences. This seems incredibly cherry picked to only ones that make the ladies look good. Even the more neutral ones lean more positive than negative.
madbakes 1 year ago
It's the truth TO YOU. Many of the men who posted clearly appreciate what the women have done for their home and still felt heard and respected. Just because their are parts of traditional gender roles doesn't mean it's all forced or negative.
Load More Replies...
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