lmaoooooo

Me: Did you look *a place*? Kids/Husband: Yes, it's not there!! Me *goes to look at the place*: Oh, here it is!

correction: she's buying a Ford Explorer.

I am going to do that. And after 6 months, I will buy my own private island. No visitors allowed.

My son says “nothing is really lost until mom can’t find it” wise words

My husband. The man is intelligent, well read, highly educated, BUT - still can't grasp the idea of moving a jar in the pantry to find the new bottle of ketchup. Despite me telling him - second shelf on the right, in the back.

Wife's and mom's gaslighting everyone outta spite 🤣

Ah, is mum hiding things?

But is a Ford…so the next 13-months of saving will be for repairs, tows and emergency breakdowns…

I swear moms have a sixth sense or smthn

Janelle Collard

Janelle Collard

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You have a smart wife. :)

I am definitely instituting and find jar now.

I’m just consulting a subject matter expert when I do this.

She's a genius!

My mom always says if you don't know where something is, you don't know where it isn't.

I need to implement this. I remembered where my fiancé left his phone after he moved it. I was not in the room when he moved the phone I could just hear what part if the house he was in.

That's a gr8 idea!

I should do that! Don’t have kids but my husband…

Hahahaha

That's a funny ine

Hahaha this should be way higher

Yesterday I got pulled out of a work meeting (in front of ~80 colleagues) by the police, with my kid... He didn't really do anything, just poking around where he shouldn't be, but still. He Here's hoping this is the first and only time the cops want to talk to me about something my kid has done.

And planting gardens, and cooking "15 minute" meals...

that actually happened to me as a kid...

Whatever you do, *don't* tell them to walk faster...

But y-y-you pinkie promised 😭

It's very assuring that many people do actually still know this and use it. Sometimes it seems that this got out if fashion.

Even I feel this. I take care of my special need brother (he's 38) and we don't tell him we're doing something until the day of and at the earliest an hour before.

Instructions unclear, microwaved kids.

When you ask them to do any chore

Can't think how that could've happened

It's not on fire.....

Is this how you explain the scene to your friends? 😂 Edit: oh wow! I made a funny!

The apple will be the best seller! /s

Haha 🤣 this is so frogging true

If it makes you feel better i wouldn’t fit in it too

God, I don't fold laundry - all those tiny little clothes that sometimes don't even get worn for a whole day before getting dirty. Don't iron either. Child protection services haven't come a-knocking yet. The only judgement I get (openly) is from my mother and luckily I'm pretty immune to that after years of training!

I dunno, it's been handy when driving by cows and yelling "Mooooooo!!" out the window instead of something embarrassing like "ribbit"

...and then none of the toys get played with, but the kid rolls on top of them with his favorite blanky, then drags half of them to the living room.

DOGGY! :)

Sorry to be the downer. But need to note that this isnt true. Quokkas have pouches they hold their young in (think kangaroo) and when fleeing occasionally they young one will fall out. So this myth spread. Just a small public service note.

My wife: "For fu*ck's sake! I'm burning! Go ask your father!" My son: "Dad, mom said I can eat 4 Twinkies for a snack." My wife (covered in bandages): "Why are there Twinkie wrappers all over the pantry?" My son: "Mom, dad let me eat 8 Twinkies and now I'm sick..." Me: "Why is Jr. sick, why is there trash in the pantry, why do you look like a mummy, and why is everyone so cross with me all the time?"

Yeah, and to all those people who said I would become a "morning person" when I had kids, they were wrong. I still hate mornings but now I have people I have to look after while hating the mornings! However, once I've actually had a moment to land and straighten my head out, I love being with them!

It's an interesting one. My daughter is so like me and it is therapeutic for me because I am helping her to have the childhood I couldn't by guiding her and using appropriate discipline. I frigging adore her, and I try to see that as a way for me to show myself the love I should have had. (Of course I know she is her own person and I would never want her to become just like me!)

"But Dad, I heard you call Mom dirty last night and still did the same thing to her!"