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#1
In the chamber, dim and dreary,
Lay N. alone, weak and weary.
'Neath the lamplight's flickering gleam,
Haunted by a fearful dream.
Outside, the tempest raged and roared,
Echoing the cries of those ignored.
Yet within, a tapping, soft and low,
Sent shivers down his spine aglow.
With every beat, his heart did race,
In the dark, a spectral face.
Whispers in the shadows deep,
Promised horrors, none could keep.
A message came, from realms unknown,
"I see you," it did intone.
N. trembled in the pallid light,
Trapped in dread, devoid of sight.
Oh, the terror, ever nigh,
As the tapping drew him nigh.
In the darkness, death did loom,
Sealing N.'s dreadful doom.
And thus, in Poe's macabre vein,
N. met his fate, bound by chain.
A tale of horror, dark and dire,
Echoes still, in haunted mire.
Final score:
15points
The Troll (Legion) (Submission author) 7 months ago
The screen's reflection isn't the user's alone; it holds the gaze of something sinister, peeping back with hunger in its eyes.
#2
Rock a bye baby on the tree top
When the wind blows the cradle will rock.
I was that baby and what bothers me.
Is why my dear mum shoved me up a tree.
Final score:
14points
#3
Mary had a little lamb...the doctors were surprised ...but when Old Macdonald had a farm ...they couldn't believe their eyes.
Final score:
8points
#4
A wonderful bird is the pelican,
His bill holds more than his belican.
He can take in his beak,
Enough food for a week,
But I’m damned if I see how the helican.
Final score:
8points
#5
Mary had a little lamb, she tied it to a pylon, 50,000 volts shot up its bum, we turned its wool to nylon.
Final score:
7points
#6
Roses are red
I have a slug named Dave
This poem makes no sense
Microwave
Final score:
7points
#7
A funny young fellow named Perkins, was terribly fond of small gherkins, one day after tea, He ate ninety-three and picked his internal workings.
Final score:
6points
#8
Tinkle tinkle little kid
Potty training´s what I did
Up and down you go to pee
18 years and I´ll be free
tinkle tinkle little kid
Now we have a yellow lid.
Final score:
5points
#9
Here I sit, broken hearted.
Came to s**t, only farted
Final score:
5points
#10
I found this in an old google slide me and some friends worked on:
"Semi-Trucks
Running Over
Your Dead
Delicious
Body
:>"
I am a bit concerned by my past self
Final score:
5points
#11
Not mine, but let me share this one by Bob Wiley (Bill Murray):
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic and so am I.
Final score:
5points
Alley Childress 7 months ago
https://www.boredpanda.com/hey-pandas-what-was-your-scariest-middle-school-experience/
#12
As the Illuminati played dodgeball with the earth,
A walking coffee came on the hearth,
Of the fireplace in the land where the Freemasons lay,
And discovered that all were g@y.
Final score:
5points
#14
Have two. First is non-original
Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair
Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy, was he?
~annnnd~
I turned your daughter to soup.
Lifted her up,
and slurped her down,
and then she turned to poop!
Final score:
4points
Pigeonvonbirb 7 months ago
Lord that was unexpected damn. Its really creative, well done and funny though:)
#15
A B C D E F G
GUMMY BEARS ARE CHASING ME
ONE IS RED
ONE IS BLUE
ONE IS CHEWING UP MY SHOE
NOW I'M RUNNING FOR MY LIFE
CUZ THE RED ONE'S GOT A KNIFE
Final score:
4points
Mike_the_nike 1 month ago
ABCDEFG, small giraffes with leprosy. One is green and one is black, one is tryna steal my hat, now I feel the need to flee CAUSE THE GREEN ONE’S CHASING ME!!!
#16
Roses are red, violets are blue, can you come here, and take a whiff of my shoe.
Final score:
3points
#17
Cows go moo,
Ducks go quack,
Geese go on the sidewalk,
Filthy animals.
Final score:
3points
#18
When COVID hit
We all went 'sh*t'
The world went to hell
Many good people fell
And now we're left to recover
Final score:
3points
#19
I couldn't catch an oystercatcher catching oysters.
I caught them catching clams. I caught them catching snails.
But oystercatchers ought to catch oysters, by gosh
So I went out catching oysters, and brought them home in pails.
When the oystercatchers next were out catching
I brought out my oyster pails. "Here! Oystercatchers! I cried;
Here are oysters to catch! Oystercatchers, Oh, oystercatchers;
You see how hard I've tried." The oystercatchers glanced my way, busy catching clams.
"We cannot catch caught oysters, you really ought to know.
Only oysters in the ocean will ever suit our plans."
So oyster stew was all I could do; watching oystercatchers wade away. and still-
I've never caught the sight I've sought so long;
An oystercatcher catching oysters. Is my longing then so wrong?
Final score:
3points
#20
To encourage the budding poets here- a non-original -
You're a Poet!
And don't know it!
But- your toes show it.
They're long fellows.
now go WRITE a poem..
Final score:
2points
#21
The wolves are howling
Your stomachs growling
the sky is red it's the end
you wake up screaming
You were only dreaming
Final score:
2points
Magic poodle (Submission author) 7 months ago (edited)
Not really funny but it's a poem I guess
#22
There was a young man from Peru / Who was always playing with glue / Then one week / The glue suffered a leak / Now stuck to his head is a shoe.
Final score:
2points
#23
This one a competition for a short poem that would appeal to a lot of people:
PAY
DAY
Final score:
2points
#24
no, not an original. heard this decades ago, recited by redd foxx.
the dog's meeting
Oh, the dogs once held a meeting,
They came from near and far.
Oh, some they came by greyhound bus
while others came by car.
Before into the concert hall
They were allowed to look,
Each dog had to take his rear end off
And hang it on a hook.
hardly were they seated there,
Each mother, son and sire,
When some dirty doberman pincher
Began to holler 'Fire!'
Out they rushed, all in a bunch
they had no time to look
Each dog just grabbed a rear end
From off the nearest hook.
And that's the reason why you see,
On walking down the street,
Each dog will stop and swap a smell
With every dog he meets.
And that's the reason why a dog
Will leave a good fat bone
To stop and smell a rear
In hopes to find his own.
and, because i am a twisted individual, i used this poem for a test when i was learning american sign language. i figured if i got most of it correctly then the class would be laughing. it worked.
Final score:
1point
#25
Roses are red, violets are blue.
If you don't like my poem,
you can kiss my a$$ too.
Final score:
0points
#26
There once was very bored Panda
who sat on his lovely veranda.
He went really mad,
'cause the 'facts' that he read,
were all just right-wing propaganda.
OK, not funny ... but true. ;)
Final score:
0points
