Hey Pandas, Would You Choose Revenge Or Patience? (Closed)

Imagine you’re living with someone and they keep torturing you (making fun of you, scaring you, threatening you) whenever you try to get them to stop, they act up even more, and if you try to get them in trouble, you wind up getting the punishment. Would you choose to take things into your own hands and get revenge at the cost of getting in trouble, or would you just bite your tongue and wait to move out?

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20 years ago I might have gone for revenge, doing some payback. With age I became calmer and more quiet. I'd just take it on the chin, moving out the first chance possible. But also being very firm about ending the relationship and/or contact with said people. I don't need negativity in my life. It's way too short wasting it for that.

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Ban-One

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If you act, driven with emotions caused by your abusers, it's the shortest way to become their victim. True revenge requires patience. What is your goal, to get free of them, or to be haunted by their weak, thus wicked personality?
That's the usual chain of thoughts I always have. My friend has a more flexible point of view here. He would say what I said, but while dealing with a random bully on the street, he would not think twice before shutting him down, or even punch him. But he is a man, where he was raised, you can't live otherwise. I noticed that there are different ways that suit different people. But then more mind one put into his actions, then wider and more interesting his ability to perceive the world.

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DarkGlassSphere

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depends, but ususally patience.

i am willing to make some exceptions tho >:]

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shanila.pheonix_

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revenge, I'd do the same thing back to them

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caillou

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Patience. Revenge may feel good in the moment, but it isn’t right. I’d have to pray a lotttt for patience though.

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Abby Huff

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Both!

I patiently plan my revenge.

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Donkey boi

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Patience.
They will f**k up in time, and that's a certain. Don't interrupt 'em while they're making a mistake.
But, if it's actively violent, tell people who can affect them- their principal or teachers, their boss, their family.

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Amus Oxeffe

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River wolf (she/her) 9 months ago

Haha, yeah that doesn’t work for me

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Patience.
Let them f**k up on their own- camera optional.

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Amus Oxeffe

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I am a very patient person, like an atheist version of Ned Flanders. When I become vindictive, I'm sneaky and cunning and the other person doesn't know that I'm even behind it all. I torture people like a fart in an elevator. I start with light gaslightning and I'm happy to continue with other psychological methods, all the time I'm a nice happy person. It takes a lot to p**s me off, I take a lot, but my way is patient well-planned revenge.

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LillieMean

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LillieMean (Submission author) 9 months ago

As an example, I will tell you how I got revenge on the man who beat my friend when they were dating. (He also abused animals). Of course my friend left him. Back then, Facebook was still a thing, so I stalked him and always informed his dating partner when he met/dated a woman via private message what he had done in the past. It was satisfying until he realized it was me and I got blogged.

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#10

Patience until you can leave. Revenge will only justify their behavior in their eyes. If you're in fear for your safety, please seek out a shelter or other services for getting out.

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By Deleted User

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#11

I would do little things around the house that I know annoys the other person but can be explained away as coincidence. Like replacing their working light bulbs with burnt ones (a different light bulb every day), replacing their batteries with dead batteries, leaving a tiny bit of toilet paper on the roll in the bathroom and hide the rest in another room, leave a little bit of milk or juice or water in a jug in the fridge (just enough for a couple sips but not enough for a full glass), put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher and don't start it right away. I would find little things around the house like that to manipulate somewhat so that they're annoyed but it's not necessarily something to start an argument over. I am a passive aggressive person and I don't like confrontation so that is what I would do until I am able to get out of that situation. Try and make a game of it so that way you can think back on it and laugh when that person is trying to make you feel bad about yourself.

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Green Shoe Laces

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Green Shoe Laces (Submission author) 9 months ago

I agree that if there is physical violence involved please seek help from someone outside the home so that you can escape to a shelter or somewhere else. There are also services available to help cope with mental abuse.

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