Hey Pandas, Which Thing Annoys You The Most About Having Mental Illness? (Closed)

#1

Depression. It is never ending. And exhausting.

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61points

Nathaniel

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Borderline Writer 2 years ago

I can relate af. Sometimes, it feels like your head is exploding but unsure what's causing it. I hope you regain yourself soon! Take care.

3points

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#2

Lack of executive function. The self hatred that comes with not being able to escape my own head and achieve anything.

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52points

Sarah Kathrin Matsoukis

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Harold Maio 2 years ago

Having a mental illness or a physical illness is not always the easiest thing in the world. The hardest part for me of having a so called "mental illness" is the two are not treated professionally or ethically identically. Harold A Maio

9points

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#3

"what do you have to be depressed about? Your life is great"- yes, I know it's great, but depression is an a-hole that keeps you from the things and people you used to love. I feel even worse because I know nothing is really wrong, yet I feel nothing. I can't enjoy anything. Knowing other people are worse off than me just makes me feel even worse- I don't have any "reason" to be depressed, but I am.

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48points

MrsFettesVette

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cloudninejen 2 years ago

Right there with you hon. Seemingly perfect life on the outside, total shitstorm on the inside. Everyone tries to remind you how perfect your life is and how lucky you are. But... well, you know.

20points

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#4

Many folks just think depression is sadness. I wish more people understood and showed a bit of intelligent compassion.

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47points

vglw

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Borderline Writer 2 years ago

You said everything above! It is not sadness...it is not that my dog died and I feel grief, sad. It is something else...and people should understand the difference. You are not alone! I hope you get the compassion you need.

10points

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#5

how other people react when you say you have a mental illness. they think of you as lower than them sometimes and it's just not right

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41points

muffin kid

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Borderline Writer 2 years ago

It is degrading! You are not alone. I have BPD and when people do this...it instantly triggers my insecurities...sometimes those things I don't even know exist inside. Thank you for sharing...you are a star!

10points

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#6

The stigma of taking medications to keep from being suicidally depressed, and "merely" depressed instead. "Oh. You take pills..." And the sneering judgment is just like little knives in my soul. Should I commit suicide instead? I know where my PTSD goes without help. Been there. Barely got out of it alive. And yet...

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39points

Leo Domitrix

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Tamra 2 years ago

I've been there, sometimes unwillingly revisit. I've had years of therapy with MD's, PhD's, MSW's, and made two of them cry and need to take a break during my sessions. I've taken every over the counter antidepressant and combinations thereof, tried acupuncture, massage therapy, reiki, diets, exercise, meditation, and even saw a shaman once! Sometimes it gets better, sometimes worse. Tried suicide and failed (obviously), ended up in a psych ward for a week. At this point, I've decided that this is just the way I am, and try to manage one day at a time. I also live with the guilt of the pain I caused my husband and son when I was suicidal. I can't do that to them again, so every day I feel I owe it to them to keep on going. With all this, I've come to a point where I do not give a f**k what other people think of me. I have too much going on in my own head, to allow anyone else in there. Keep on going Leo.

8points

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#7

A few years ago I was diagnosed with OCD (mostly intrusive thoughts about catastrophes to happen and horrible mistakes I could have made) and also generalized anxiety and this is what annoys me the most:
To overcome my issues I have to fight, fight, fight and fight, and sometimes I‘m sick and tired of that. I can‘t just say “I am not in the mood to do this“ like everyone else who sometimes just doesn’t feel like doing something and then just doesn‘t do it. I always have to do everything to face my fears and conquer my OCD. So even things that are supposed to be nothing but fun (like parties, festivals, weekend trips, etc) feel like an obligation, because I have to use them as a means to work on my issues. I am still able to enjoy these activities when I‘m actually there, but I can never look forward to them, because I have to deal with tons of awful intrusive thoughts beforehand (weeks / months in advance) and I also can never actively decide if I really want to go or not. Nothing ever feels right, everything is a constant battle. Giving myself a break by not going out to fight doesn‘t help, because my intrusive thoughts would then be all about me being a complete failure.

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31points

Birgit M

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Karen Vineyard 2 years ago

Those little green men in our heads need to take their own festival breaks. If we could figure out how to tell those voices/little gremlins to find another job or get their own life Wouldnt it be so freeing.. They may not be happy either being stuck in our heads🤔 ( this helps me to look at my thoughts differently)

7points

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#8

People jumping on the band wagon coz they had a shitty day or a crappy break up or they need attention.

Also people that say things like - pull your socks up you’ll be fine - Like really? Why didn’t I think of that, oh look I’m all better 🤬🤬🤬

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31points

Helen Roberts

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KombatBunni 2 years ago

My mother used to say that to me until one day I’d had enough of her denial and told her and my stepdad and my b***h of a sister to all f**k off. Been much better off since.

13points

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#9

Other peoples reactions. Mental illness Is surrounded by stigma and ignorance. Treat me how you would like to be treated. It’s exhausting sometimes

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29points

Ellie McGrath

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Borderline Writer 2 years ago

Completely there with you! I often take 'exhausting treat'. I shutdown my social media and just stay in my room till it passes away. Thank you for sharing...it means a lot.

7points

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#10

I have ADHD and I'm pretty sure depression and just the thought of getting out of bed. Sometimes is unbearable. And that means I'm not productive and then it's SO MUCH worse if I forget my meds

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29points

That midget Jo :)

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That nerd Zoe ️‍🇺🇦️‍ 2 years ago

literally same for me except I'm not on meds

4points

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#11

When you find yourself thinking that you're fine and shouldn't ask for help because you aren't having a complete and total mental breakdown. And then the simultaneous thought that you can't show any signs of distress because then you're exaggerating. So basically you just invalidate yourself and continue to suffer in silence.

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28points

MiaOokami

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LayDiva in the Zone 2 years ago

A lot!

2points

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#12

The chronic exhaustion.. I literally never, ever feel well or energetic.

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26points

ImdaPrincesse

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Mariah Gensmer 2 years ago

I honestly can say its been years since I had a good day where i wasnt pushing myself to put on a smile or function.

4points

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#13

How other people react. It usually swings two different ways. Either you're overreacting and should just go for a nice walk outside to cheer up, or you are suddenly made of porcelain and they are scared to even look at you wrongly.
I've had someone ask me pretty much every hour how I was and if I wasn't planning on doing anything 'stupid'. That got supper annoying super fast.

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24points

JustKate

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Borderline Writer 2 years ago

You are not alone! I often overreact when people keep asking me how I am doing, what I am doing, why the hell I am not speaking. Thank you so much for sharing such a thought.

8points

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#14

I have ASD, PTSD and depression... the worst? it cannot be seen outside.

To the doctors, to society, to gov help centers you are absolutely healthy person: two legs, two arms, a head, capable of doing everything "like normal people do it" but you choose not to and it is YOUR fault so you don't deserve as much assistance as let's say a person without a leg.

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23points

Isabella

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Leo Domitrix 2 years ago

I can walk. Doesn't mean I ain't hurting.

7points

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#15

Being okay and then being suicidal. Hospital staff just laughed because I was "too young".

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22points

LimonadeDaWolf

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Borderline Writer 2 years ago

Judgements!!!! I hate these people...

5points

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#16

When my depression comes on, its the numbness. Hugging my kids and not feeling anything, feeling nothing 24/7.

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22points

James D

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JASH80 2 years ago

I feel the same, but I find it hard to accept and I freak out whenever I start feeling numb towards my kids, my new dating partner, whomever.. actually it's worse when it's a dating partner as there should be butterflies, fluttering in my stomach, but instead I just feel nothing or panic and wish he'd just go away. With the kids I know that I love them, that it's a temporary relapse, but with a romantic partner it hits worse when those feelings are turned off or even turned around into loathing from one moment to the other

7points

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#17

I'm so tired 85% of the time. SO so tired, like to the bone, like I'm a magnet and so is the floor, like I haven't slept in days, knowing I have things to do, a job, home, husband, garden pets and a life to immerse myself in and love. And I just can't. And then 15% of the time, I'm so up and manic the I 'accomplish' a lot at the expense of my health and sometimes my relationships.

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21points

MH<3

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Borderline Writer 2 years ago

High functioning is exhausting...I can relate.

3points

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#18

The constant fear of failure.

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18points

PCW10101

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KombatBunni 2 years ago

OMGS so much this. It takes everything out of you and leaves you feeling flat. You can’t have a happy thought for more than a few minutes some days and it drives you nuts :( My heart goes out to you xx

8points

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#19

How everyone else seems to be unable to comprehend the real horror of CPTSD, that we aren’t being dramatic; that in fact, we underplay it if anything. But it’s tough living in constant terror, and it’s tough knowing that the legacy of the nightmarish traumas that caused this continues, unrelenting. This is pain that isn’t correctable with an RX, it’s real and debilitating. And It’s compounded by additional trauma. I’m glad that many people never have to know how this feels, but I just wish that they’d realize that NOBODY chooses to feel this way. Nobody WANTS to live in constant pain.

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17points

Ladyboneyard

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Leo Domitrix 2 years ago

THis times a thousand. For more on this, check out a guy online named Pete Walker. He gives a pretty good overview of complex PTSD (CPTSD).

3points

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#20

People don't want to talk about it with you. There's still a massive stigma around mental health, it's a disease like any other and if I'd had someone to talk to when it started, I wouldn't have ended up where I am now. I thankfully have found a great therapist and with their help and medication, I'm in a good place.

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16points

oldandexhausted79

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Leeca Aldrich 2 years ago

I am happy to hear that you are now in a good place. Your therapist must be a perfect match with you. God bless.

3points

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#21

Hitting the point of not even knowing how to move forward in life.

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16points

angelic_asshole (he/xen/daem)

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Borderline Writer 2 years ago

You are not alone!

4points

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#22

suddenly feeling nothing for your partner whenever a depressive episode starts. One day you make plans, you feel good, you are looking forward to seeing them again, the next you could shoot them to Mars and hate the idea of them wanting to see you as any kind of contact means stress and loss of energy. And you feel bad that you feel that way and this makes it even worse. Depression truly is a b*tch.

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Final score:

16points

JASH80

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Borderline Writer 2 years ago

A b*tch that's not gonna stand down! You are not alone!

2points

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#23

EVERYTHING MUST BE ON MY LEFT SIDE.

Okay, well, not everything. But eventually I think about it and then it comes back again. I often hate things being on my right side. Just knowing that they are there gives me this feeling and it sucks.

Also, people don’t understand autistic or ADHD people. ‘But you don’t look autistic’ well you don’t look ableist but here we f*****g are! ‘But it’s only a few people, you should be fine’ well maybe if I wasn’t stressed right now I might not have a meltdown.

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16points

Jon Scott

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Leeca Aldrich 2 years ago

"But you don't look autistic", sorry, but lol (I'm on the spectrum). Gee - and you don't look like a moron! Go figure!.

11points

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#24

people assuming that i'm faking it when i say i have anxiety/depression (even when i explain both were professionally diagnosed)

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16points

chordioid

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Keller Worthen 2 years ago

Yes! I have depression, anxiety, adhd, and issues with memory and hand-eye coordination. I'm just barely not autistic, and people always think I'm faking it because of how many mental illnesses I have.

4points

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#25

Recently started therapy for the first time in my life. I finally got brave enough and strong enough to get help. And my therapist immediately told me that she could not help me. WTAF? You ever laughcried? Yeah that was me. Looking for another therapist though. Not gonna give up.

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15points

cloudninejen

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jkenby 2 years ago

I'm so sorry. It can be very difficult to find the "right" therapist. People may think that *their* therapist is wonderful, but he or she may not be appropriate for you. (Any therapist who says that they can't help but gives no other option shouldn't be in the profession.)

18points

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#26

The fact that people act like they are walking on eggshells because they don't know what will set me off. I have depression, but it is shown mostly through angry outbursts. Another thing that is awful is the guilt that I feel. I feel guilty for being depressed. I know I shouldn't be and my family says the same thing, but sometimes I just feel that way.

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15points

deanna woods

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Mary Rose Kent 2 years ago

Nobody should tell you that you’re not doing mental illnesses correctly…that’s just fluffed up!

4points

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#27

Despite places of work stating they support people with mental health issues, do not believe them.

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15points

Jods

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

Um yep, they do not. So true.

3points

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#28

Personally, the thing that annoys me most is that a lot of people don't understand Anxiety. They think its more of a personality then a mental illness...like your just super shy or loner. When in reality most of want friends and relationships but our imbalanced brain chemicals make it very difficult to let your guard down, meanings it very difficult to connect with or trust people for that matter.

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15points

Breezy

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Scotira 2 years ago (edited)

I feel you! A dear friend (and coworker) of mine has an anxiety disorder. Lately it's been worse than usual bc she had some irregularities in her heart rhythm. It's a b*itch. So we do breathing exercises and meditation together. Usually my phone is on mute, but bc she's not in a good place right now and lives alone, my phone is always on. Knowing someone is right there helps a lot to keep it managable...

6points

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#29

What annoys me the most is just because it's not a seen disability it often isn't taken seriously. That includes by those approving coverage for short term disability. Sure, I can drive a car to get myself to an appointment but was I able to motivate myself enough to get out of bed and shower the five days before? Did I remember to eat? Do I answer the phone or door when others check on me?
....sorry, went down my pet peeve rabbit hole.
Bottom line, lack of taking my issue seriously.😡

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15points

Lara Akins

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Borderline Writer 2 years ago

Hard! You are not alone!

2points

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#30

The time and opportunities lost. I’m a talented musician and a smart, educated person, but I’ve spent so much of my life fending off generalized anxiety, social anxiety and crushing depression that I’ve made nothing of myself in 50 years. I’m locked in a permanent battle with myself, and it leaves little energy for a more productive and fulfilled life.

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15points

UpQuarkDownQuark (he/him)

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Tamra 2 years ago

I completely relate to everything you just said, I really do.

3points

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#31

Inability to get a job/sense of purpose.

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14points

Ryan Burns

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KombatBunni 2 years ago

This!!

6points

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#32

Having to cope with it. It's hard work.

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13points

Steve Barnett

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Tamra 2 years ago

It really, really is. It's f*****g exhausting. Hang in there, man.

6points

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#33

When you are depress and someone just brushed it off and says “Hey, could be worse!” Yeah, that’s true. But I have a chemical imbalance. You telling me that doesn’t fix those chemicals or how I feel.

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13points

Aubrie Allen

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Mary Rose Kent 2 years ago

“This is plenty hard enough, thank you very much!”

2points

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#34

Ignorance. Stigma. Denial.

I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder when I was 14 years old following episodes of panic attacks. Due to the stigma surrounding mental illness in the Philippines, my parents dismissed it, and I sincerely wished it stopped there.

My dad mocked me for "acting" and got so annoyed that I was hospitalised for the panic attacks, which was not covered by health insurance. I can't forget that one time he cruelly made fun of me and asked me to "do it again". When my mom talks about it in public, to justify my behaviour, my dad would ask her to stop--they have a prominent standing in our local church, and if people were to think that I have a mental disorder, it would taint our "perfect family" image.

While living with them, I have thought of taking my life too many times. It is hard to live with a debilitating disorder, but having to live with it AND with people like my parents is just pure hell.

Needless to say, I never received proper medication until I was in my mid 20's, when I left to work in New Zealand and completely freed myself from my parents. The damage has been done, but I am trying to fix whatever's left of me. Fortunately, fate took pity on me and blessed me with a husband who does not only support and understand what's broken in me but also reminds me every day that I am loved for everything that I am.

This is the very first time I've spoken about this, and I apologise for the long post. I am just grateful that after 10 years, I am finally able to let it out without being afraid.

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13points

Tin Kerbell

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Tamra 2 years ago

I'm so glad you shared. I guarantee there are lots of people here who can relate to what you've shared. Keep taking care of yourself - you are SO worth it.

5points

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#35

How I struggle to do the simplest of things and barely get through day to day life. Also random anxiety is annoying

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12points

Aroace tiger (she/they/he)

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Ericka Hokkanen 2 years ago

I hate how sometimes when they comment on what I did (good or bad) it makes me angry. UGH

1point

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#36

There are two things for me:
1) Having my entire life disrupted or essentially on hold at all times. When you're constantly so depressed that you have trouble even taking care of your hygiene and have panic attacks just going into the grocery store alone, it's more than just being miserable, even though it's EXTREMELY miserable and hopeless. I'm in my early 20s and yet I can't even FUNCTION in the world. It makes you feel so desperately worthless and useless, and suddenly you realize the thing you want most in the ENTIRE WORLD is something you think you will never have: just being able to be normal.

2) The majority of people (usually including your own family) don't understand and often don't want to try to understand. No matter how much explaining you do of how it works and what the effects are or even research you show people, a lot of them are just going to believe it's not that bad and you can "just get over it," or even that you're lazy, and they'll tell you all of those things straight to your face with no compassion or empathy at all. You can have your own family member telling you to stop feeling sorry for yourself or if you tried hard enough you could get over this thing that in reality is killing you (and I have.) Having your own family, the people who are supposed to love you and care about you and support you, call you out for struggling and frame it as if it's your fault while you're already struggling just to survive is one of the worst feelings in the entire world.

Honorary number 3 would be people who insist they completely understand how it feels to have a chemical imbalance in your brain causing deep depression/anxiety etc when they DON'T HAVE that problem. Being really sad or anxious a few times in your life is not, and will not ever be, the same thing as having to live with crippling depression and panic attacks CONSTANTLY, coming from a problem IN YOUR OWN HEAD that you can't control.

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12points

Jenna Cottington

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Nemo 2 years ago

The grocery store panic attack combined with the guilt of it. Hate it

3points

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#37

Actually having to say I have a mental illness. I normally get away with just saying I am depressed. Never actually acknowledging the fact that I have a mental illness.

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11points

Melinda Riley

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Borderline Writer 2 years ago

Poor you. I hope you are doing well. You are not alone. I have lied about my mental illness for years...I still do in some places.

4points

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#38

I have ADHD. the thing that annoys me most is not being able to pay attention. In writing class, I’ll be reading a paragraph, about 60 times. (Ok that was kinda exaggerated maybe 6 times XD) it’s super annoying. 😡

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11points

Sakura

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Mia Seth 2 years ago

Or shiny key syndrome, where you get distracted by something else. (Me rn with bp and not doing hw)

6points

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#39

That anything can set off my BPD (borderline personality disorder) and ruin my day. Or ruin the mood with my partner. Or I can get depressed over the simplest thing, or something will trigger my PTSD. I hate it and wish that I had a normal freakin brain that didn’t do this c**p.

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11points

KombatBunni

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Mariah Gensmer 2 years ago

My husband asks what he can do to help. I bounce between "rewire my brain for me" and "if i knew the answer, I'd tell you, promise."

5points

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#40

Everyone assuming that OCD means cleaning

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11points

Paul Harris

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Isaac Smith 2 years ago

YES! I constantly have to hide having OCD from practically everyone because I get the same two responses: "oh my gosh I HATE it when things aren't really organized, I know exactly how you feel!" And "You don't REALLY have OCD, you just have anxiety over some stuff." It flipping sucks to have to explain OCD too because so many people are adamant that OCD is just wanting to clean things

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#41

Is it the fact that popular media likes to use mental illness to motivate fictional characters? That people are afraid of me if I tell them what it’s like having DID?

Maybe it’s the fact that with C-PTSD, there is so MUCH trauma, that you’re youth will be consumed with trying to fix yourself, rather than having fun in the moment. There’s always more work to do, and it’s frustrating.

Perhaps it’s the fact that instead of the perpetrators getting life in prison for their cruelty, YOU can be institutionalized for life, and lose everything. Basically an unfair punishment for already being a captive your whole life.

Maybe it’s that depression makes it so hard to get out of your head and do something useful for yourself.

Maybe it’s arguments with my alters that never end, and constantly being criticized by them.

Maybe it’s that I’m really good at smiling when I want to take brutal revenge on my enemies, and yet hate myself for it and want to just die where I stand.

Maybe it’s being the black sheep of the family, because you’re the only one who will admit your family is a pack of feral dogs towards each other, and are a visual reminder of their own wrongdoing.

Or maybe it’s the isolation. Feeling like you can’t burden anyone or they’ll lash out at you.

Maybe it’s the fact I still feel obligated to love a species that hates me. OBLIGATED.

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11points

Raccoon panda

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

That is a tough gig, for sure. You are right, C-PTSD has not been portrayed well or accurately in the media, and as a result, people are fearful, and it makes it so hard to then speak out or be yourself as someone with C-PTSD. Toxic family relationships are hard to keep coming back to, and I guess a lot of people cut those people out of their life altogether. None of this was your fault, and you don't deserve all the pain you've gone through as a result, and it properly sucks that it's still so hard. Standing beside you. You are so deserving of happiness, worth and hope.

1point

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#42

How you're always screwing up your relationship.

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10points

Ashley Purandare

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Ericka Hokkanen 2 years ago

Its a fight not to just go live in a hut in the woods all alone with the pets

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#43

At my first doc visit I was assured by the provider that she would refill all my current medications which we reviewed. Than when I called my new PCP didn't want to refill the antidepressant I've been on for years since she did realize I had psych meds and that makes her "uncomfortable." I had started having withdrawal symptoms after waiting two weeks but have it now. We get to discuss it again next visit.

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10points

Nicki Violet

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Ericka Hokkanen 2 years ago

Doctors should not be able to do this- the withdrawal of meds and the possibility of extreme changes in a person when this happens causes more problems. Please do not let this happen to you. If that doc won't write the script then she needs to find one that will within the office. Demand it & discuss what happens when you miss your meds & pray they are willing to even write a couple of weeks of pills script so that you can find another to write the script. Also, key** remind them that depression and suicidal ideation are very real side effects; does she want to put her patient at risk for her being uncomfortable. Use bold terms and be bold-faced honest with your symptoms during withdrawal and then having to build up the drug in your body for it to be effective. Tell doc not to be a hack, just write it so you don't experience those symptoms. Don't let a doc be the hack- you are the reasons she is making money just then. Be satisfied and have YOUR NEEDS met, not the docs.

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#44

When people smile and nod and pretend to understand.
& try to diagnose you.

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10points

SPARKIZE

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Sally Smith 2 years ago

Try being psychotic.

4points

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#45

Having it

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10points

Jill

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Keller Worthen 2 years ago

Fair.

0points

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#46

This might already be on here, but when people as a joke label themselves as a mental disorder or joke about suicide when it is something hard to live with.

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10points

Kevinඞ

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Rylee Evergreen🦋 2 years ago

YES!!!! I HATE when people joke about suicide, which is unfortunately all too common where I am. It's really not a joke!!!

5points

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#47

Being given advice by people who have NO idea what they're talking about. "Have you tried exercise?" Are you seriously asking me that? OF COURSE I've tried exercise, you dolt! And sometimes I CAN'T exercise because I can barely walk downstairs to check the mail & get back up the stairs. I literally - no joke - had a woman tell me that if I'd just use her "aromatherapy sauna" I wouldn't need medication anymore. The number of idiots in alternative medicine who think they can "cure" me is astounding. (Don't get me wrong, meditation & yoga help me, but first I need the right meds.)

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10points

sh30joy

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Borderline Writer 2 years ago

You are not alone!

1point

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#48

I have adhd and soooo many people don’t think I do because I have become pretty good at masking.

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9points

Wise beauty

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Mia Seth 2 years ago

I can kinda mask it. I'm a girl that has adhd as well. People think I'm just hyper 99% of the time like it's my personality. So I feel you.

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#49

Poverty, because I'm too exhausted to work full-time at any job, let alone my actual profession

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9points

Pandaroo

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Mariah Gensmer 2 years ago

I hate that too. I haven't worked full time in years because it takes me a good day or 2 to recop from a few days at work.

2points

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#50

Trying again and again with meds and diagnoses. Bipolar? Maybe, but no real history of mania… try these drugs! Oops, tardive dyskinesia. Well, maybe it’s just depression, let’s switch antidepressants! Oops, extreme withdrawal symptoms, need to titrate more carefully…nope, still withdrawal symptoms…still depressed… well, there’s always ECT! That’s gotta work, right? And, the thing no one seems to understand is that you’ve been drowning the whole time, just trying to keep your head above water.

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9points

Jacob Morehead

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Tamra 2 years ago

Yeah, finding the right meds and dosages can be exhausting, frustrating, and just...too much sometimes. All the while you're still struggling, hoping for some little break, just... something to get better. I understand, I really do.

3points

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#51

I have CPTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), and what annoys me is when someone sees something that may slightly annoy them and they say “Oh my God, it’s giving me PTSD”. I had a friend who once lost her vape in her car, and was getting annoyed because she couldn’t find it. She knows I gave PTSD and my struggles with it. After 5 minutes of trying to find her vape, she said “I’m getting PTSD here”. It may sound silly, but to me it made me feel like people with PTSD/CPTSD were being written off with flippant comments because they were annoyed just in that moment

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9points

Mrs Spencer

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Hope Cows&Chickens 2 years ago

True. People say that also say they have ocd just cuz theyre organized. They dont know what tf they're actually talking about and seem to be clueless that they're being offensive and acting ignorantly.

1point

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#52

People saying that they know a lot about ADHD and Anxiety have it and people think they know more about MY mental illness. I hate it.

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9points

Mia Seth

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lazy_panda_jory 2 years ago

I hear "I'm a little ADHD too haha 🤪" or "don't we all have a little ADHD lol?" sooo often and it's so frustrating! I hate it when people say they have ADHD just because they can't focus. It's so much more than that

6points

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#53

Having to think about it every. single. day. There is no vacation from it.

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9points

ThisIsMe

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Borderline Writer 2 years ago

I can relate.

1point

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#54

How many people think they understand or are helping by saying things like "sometimes I am sad too, just do ____" or "I like to be organized, I am so OCD." People do not realize that organization is a very small fraction of what people with OCD might struggle with. There is so much more that people don't see or understand. It can be debilitating but no one understands.

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9points

Ashley Johnson

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LadyPiehole 2 years ago

I have diagnosed OCD. I am NOT an organized person by any stretch of the imagination. I will however, have a meltdown if the volume on the tv is on the "wrong" number.

4points

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#55

One thing that I struggle with is that every time I feel really really crappy, I scold myself for how I am because I never went through any severe trauma. The reason for my disorder comes from genetics mixed with really bad gifted kid burnout, so I hate myself for having really extreme and disturbing thoughts about myself. How ironic.

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8points

MiaOokami

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Borderline Writer 2 years ago

You are not alone!

1point

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#56

ADHD - I can't pay attention if I'm not interesting. I can't focus on cleaning. I just can't. POSSIBLY depression: (I'm not diagnosed but I've had the symptoms for a year or 2) I feel numb a lot. I can't focus on many things (including stuff I enjoy nowadays), I constantly feel tired mentally and physically and kinda just wish I didn't have to do anything.

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8points

notreallyraine (they/them)

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That nerd Zoe ️‍🇺🇦️‍ (Submission author) 2 years ago

If it's not interesting to my brain is what I meant

9points

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#57

Me typing out comments to others is helping me see my own struggles with different ways of responding to my negative GrEmLiN self talkers.
I havent realized how much power I've given them on a daily even hourly basis truly till just now!!! Why would I do that all these years. Why did I give them all my power. I want to so be in control of me but look what I've done. 30+ years so many Dr's, meds that didnt help, counsling, broken relationships, missed work ....being judged labeled..
Huge emotional physical financial cost. The gremlins /voices gave way to how i interacted with everyone anyone i came in contact with.... How ironic ...& to see it here ....the self slowly drains down like a battery it gets harder to charge it back till it can't. I always believed was made with all u need at birth but kept getting lost now i see we let others influence us from the very 1st interaction at birth. Im screen shotting this for my gremlins

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Final score:

8points

Karen Vineyard

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Borderline Writer 2 years ago

You are not alone! Let's party with your gremilns soon.

3points

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#58

Bring up at 1am when I’m exhausted because my depression is bad that going to sleep seams too hard. When my anxiety makes me feel like the world is about to end you know that cold stomach feeling from nowhere. Trying to balance both these extreme feelings while still being a mum to 2 teen girls 1 autistic nonverbal 10 year old and a wife of a first responder.

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8points

CwtchyMama

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Ericka Hokkanen 2 years ago

Virtual hug! That is stressful stuff- go easy on yourself. Tell yourself how well you are doing- cornball I know. I swear It works

1point

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#59

I get tired of the brain fog and I either can't stay awake or cant fall a sleep. I don't have the "hamster wheel" I have an ant hill. Each ant is a different thought and it's complete madness when I can't keep track of one. I don't like when I have physical pain and i can't tell if its from fibromyalgia or a physical manifestation brought on from the depression, anxiety, ADHD and/or BPD.

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8points

Belladonna.dreams

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Ericka Hokkanen 2 years ago

I 100% agree!! I take a med I buy at Dollar Tree that is herbal and is wonderful!! every night I need this to shut down the mess in my head Nature's Sleep BTW

1point

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#60

I'm sure this has been mentioned, but the way that society and current culture romanticize depression and other mental illness. I don't have it to be "quirky". I don't have it to be "cute" or because I "want attention". I don't have it for fun, I don't have it because my friends do, I don't have it because it's a "good excuse". I have it because there is a chemical imbalance in my brain I can't control. While the fact that we're talking about mental illness more is great, we need to talk about it in the right way so that people have the right information and know it's really NOT a choice OR something fun that makes your life easier.

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8points

Rylee Evergreen (bye loves!)

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Ericka Hokkanen 2 years ago

that stick figure mask- I'd like to shred that thing some days!

-1point

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#61

Depression and anxiety are bad enough, but the number of people who tell me to "just be happy" or "just not think about it" makes me want to punch a tree. That. Is. Not. How. Any. Of. This. Works. My mind and body are literally conspiring against me, there is no amount of Dr. Phil saying "just get over it" that fixes that.

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8points

Zack Podany

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

It is definitely not how this works, you're right. Anxiety and depression are real and valid, and I wish people acknowledged them the same way they would a broken leg. I hear you and acknowledge your struggle <3

2points

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#62

the fact that I can be okay, and then depression hits and I just shatter. I can be having a good day too. it makes me exhausted.

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8points

rawr.

POST

Borderline Writer 2 years ago

Exhausted, yes. You are not alone!

1point

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#63

I want to feel satisfied and content. I am grateful for the things I have but for some reason I feel empty. Nothing. If not for my kids I would prefer not to exist anymore.

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7points

May light defeat the darkness

POST

May light defeat the darkness (Submission author) 2 years ago

General anxiety and depression.

3points

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#64

Losing independence. My PTSD has left me with such bad anxiety I'm unable to drive.

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7points

Michele Wintzloff

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

That sucks. What a big blow to your independence and confidence. Standing with you, and sending strength and hope <3

0points

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#65

Not knowing which me I will be today. Will I be fine? Happy? Depressed?
Will i get anything done? Will I be good for my family?
Will i be able to handle any sensory input? What will my limit on things be today?
Yeah medication helps but it's still not a fix.
Bipolar isn't something I'd wish on anyone.

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7points

TrickQuestion

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Borderline Writer 2 years ago

You are not alone!

0points

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#66

Having depression and anxiety.
I know what I need to do, but I'm too anxious to deal with my depression and too depressed to deal with my anxiety.
And I'm not technically suicidal cause I don't actively try to kill myself, nevermind the fact that if the opportunity to die was presented I would take it without hesitation.

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7points

Cassandra Rayner

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ORSOrama 2 years ago

You described exactly how I feel

0points

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#67

Everyone says you can talk to them, but they all eventually get tired of you not getting better

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7points

Emily D

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

Keep reaching out. The people who mind don't matter, and the people who matter don't mind. And sharing your story and struggle may help others do the same. Hope you find your tribe.

1point

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#68

i have bpd and i think it's hospitilization. techs think that we arent really ill if we laugh but we laugh to escape the pain.

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6points

i'm in therapy for a reason

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

Laughing is such an amazing coping stragey, and it's not always understood by the professionals as such. Standing, and laughing, with you <3

1point

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#69

Feeling cheated that although I was at last diagnosed with bipolar and successfully medicated by a fantastic NHS ppsychiatrist, this wasn't until I was aged 50 and he believed I'd had the disorder from childhood.

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6points

Sonia Ward

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Borderline Writer 2 years ago

Sounds promising!!!!!!!

1point

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#70

Being "High Functioning". I can often "do things", so that means it's just MiNd oVeR MaTtEr.

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Final score:

6points

Black Cats and Corgis

POST

Borderline Writer 2 years ago

I can relate. It means in spite of having a full-blown storm coming you way...you are refusing to leave your stand.

0points

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#71

When you think you’ve conquered your anxiety and panic attacks and they sneakily come around the corner and slap you in the face when you least expect it.

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6points

TheDivineMsM

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

Yup, there it be, right when you're standing in a line lol. Hope the next one is a long way off

1point

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#72

I have bipolar and clinical depression. I love when I'm told that I don't understand what real depression is like. I've also been told to pray more because there must be a sin in my life and that's why I'm depressed. To read certain books because the information in it will take away my depression by helping me set boundaries and think in a new way. "Think happy thoughts and you'll be happy!" If only it was as easy as those wonderful suggestions.

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6points

Terri Williams

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

Bipolar and depression are real and more about brain chemicals than anything else, like simply not thinking enough happy thoughts. Sorry you haven't been validated for your lived experience. I hear you, and send strength <3

0points

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#73

ADHD
It kind of sucks sometimes. I can’t focus. Boredom leads to emotional distress and I am a leading cause of physical distress in other people. I try my best but sometimes I loose control and hurt people.
People are scared of me. I have one group of friends (mostly neuro divergent folks too. They tend to stick together like a pack of weird wolves) and most other people don’t want to talk to me.

Once, I got called a “weird, r******d Antichrist”. I was pretty smug about this (cuz good omens) but it was still hurtful.

Also, get me onto one of my “special interests” and I won’t shut up. These include; mythology, my pets, goldfish and nature.

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5points

Viola Yarrow

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Valentino (they/it/he/xe) 2 years ago

I wish I was called a weird, (r slur) antichrist

2points

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#74

The most annoying is having a damned mental illness. Official diagnosis was given in 1982. After years of various medications and doctors, about 10 years ago, I found a psychiatrist who truly knows his stuff. Unfortunately (or fortunately), it's a cocktail of different medicines that really keep me level, focused, and doesn't remove all emotion or compassion.
He taught me to recognize when that dark void of uselessness and helplessness begins to creep towards me. I still fall prey to it now and then, but the days of retreating under the covers and completely isolating myself from loved ones seems to be in the past.

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5points

pjs782

POST

Argle Bargle 2 years ago

Sounds like a long and tough journey to get to where you're at now. Sending strength and hoping those level days you;ve worked so hard for continue <3

0points

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#75

I have bipolar. When I am depressed my husband can not understand that it is a brain chemistry thing. He keeps insisting that there must be a reason for the depression and asks me to tell him what I am depressed about. He also does not recognize my manic highs unless I am really over the top.

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5points

Julie Klein

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Terri Williams 2 years ago

My diagnosis and the fun of finding the correct medications started in the late 1980's. My husband has finally realized that it's nothing he has done, nothing anyone has done, and nothing anyone can do to "fix" this. I wish there was something I could tell you that would help you talk to your husband. Sadly, I think it's a process they have to go through and to come to terms with our illness. Be safe and Big Squishy Hugs from a Big Squishy Grandma!

1point

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#76

Being diagnosed with bipolar.
I went for years rapid cycling, and not knowing what it was. No one told me you could go from extreme depression, to almost terrifying manic behaviour in one day. I work for Behavioural Healthcare Services, and it took a therapist in my office to explain what was going on in my head.

Another thing that makes me want to scream is how society (I.e., family, friends, the news, social media, the entertainment industry, etc…) define, and portray people who have bipolar.
They say either the person is unhinged, depressed, etc… or manic, and violent beyond compare.
Yes, SOME people are like that, but society sees it as if anyone who has been diagnosed with bipolar is exactly like that.
It took 7 hospital stays in 3 different psych wards, years of therapy to help me to stop cutting myself, the undying love & support of family & friends to help me get clean & sober, and the inner strength to continually push myself to be where I am now -
Holding down a full time job (been in the same Dept since 2004), and realizing that life is too short to ruin it. I do everything I can to help anyone in need. I pay it forward, because how can I not?
Much love to all of you.

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5points

Janina Prado

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

Bipolar definitely has stigma and judgment attached to it, but not many people actually understand unless they've had it. And you're right, it's so hard to put it into words, and then to get a diagnosis. You sound like you've worked so long and so hard to get to where you are right now. I'm so grateful to you for paying it forward, you're definitely making a difference.

0points

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#77

My anxiety keeps me from doing a lot of things that would be good or fun. f**k agoraphobia.

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5points

Virtually Fabulous

POST

Argle Bargle 2 years ago

yep, f**k it right up. It's so frustrating.

2points

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#78

I look "normal" and work so I feel normal about my appearance & thoughts, I have 31 invisible disorders/diagnoses. I have had brain surgery 12 times- aneurysms!; chronic Kidney Disease, and the list goes on.
They laugh and say you are too young. I get frustrated that they think I would make this up or something.... My body inside is a 90-year-old HOT MESS while outside a normal 47-year-old.
I m good with makeup & wear it so I feel good.
People have no idea what roads we all have wandered along. Thanks for sharing

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5points

Ericka Hokkanen

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Paris Lammers 1 year ago

I think you are beautiful

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#79

Being gaslit by family members who use my diagnosis against me. I couldn't possibly have seen what I said I saw because Im mentally ill, so apparently I am, by default, always wrong!

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5points

Hnope Cows&Chickens

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

That is so hard. What you say is as relevant and important as anything anybody else says. I hear you, and I believe you. Keep being strong enough to believe in yourself.

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#80

What I personally find annoying (since a lot of the other things have already been covered) is the way people's reaction is affected by the media, when a famous person that has whatever disorder does something, or when something becomes the talk of the month. People can then become very superficial and downgrade my issues to whatever the flavor of the month is.

For instance, I've been a cutter and I have Borderline Personality Disorder (currently in remission), but when I was in high school, when my classmates saw my scars, kept asking me if I'm emo (I was never emo). Or now, with the whole Amber Heard thing has people talking about her possible BPD (they say she's also histrionic, but her mental health is none of my business), I keep seeing articles and comments everywhere, demonizing BPD (and whatever else), which is insulting to all people with BPD, and it's just unfair trash talking everyone with BPD just because ONE person is stupid.

Please know that what one person has done does NOT reflect the traits and behaviors of all the other people that might have the same or similar mental health issues. We're not all the same.

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5points

Lonely Tentacle

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

We are all individuals and deserve to be validated for our own experiences with mental health.

3points

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#81

The self-doubt that I even have a mental illness/trauma in the first place. I tell myself my trauma isn’t valid because it happened a while ago, it didn’t turn into PTSD and I know people who have been through a lot worse. I invalidate my anxiety because it’s different than what other people’s anxiety looks like. I ignore my trauma from the pandemic because “everyone else experienced it, so does it really count as trauma?” I tell myself my depression wasn’t valid because I was able to overcome it. On good days when I have my meds, I feel bad for saying I have ADHD, even if I don’t say it, and even when I know it’s true. I think that partly comes from the fact that one, I don’t fit the little white boy template for a lot of mental illnesses, and two, I’m at the less severe end of the spectrum. I feel guilty getting help because I think I can handle my mental health in my own, and I’m taking opportunities for help away from someone who has it “worse” than me. I don’t count my extreme overthinking or intrusive thoughts as problems because I don’t have a name or diagnosis for them, even though they’re impacting my mental health. I’m grateful that I can notice these things, because I know that’s the first step in overcoming this. Honestly, writing this has been really helpful. I appreciate this post a lot, thank you. 💙

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5points

LibraryGhost

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

Trauma doesn't have a neat and predictable timeline of when its aftereffects are going to show up in your life. Your experiences and struggle are as real and as valid as anybody else, unique to you and your situation. I stand with you and know you are deserving of hope, worth and happiness.

1point

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#82

with depression, it’s the fact that it can be almost invisible to other people, and when it is they just pass it off as being lazy or having mood swings

there’s also a lot of harmful stereotypes, most commonly with OCD, autism, and tourette syndrome because people just don’t go through the effort of trying to understand them and realizing how much it can really affect a person’s life.

it also really p*sses me off when people fake mental disorders in order to try to act quirky or just to get attention :/

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5points

Calvin Suzuki

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

Just because it can't be seen, doesn't mean it isn't real and isn't having huge consequences. I hear you and stand with you

2points

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#83

How you're always screwing up your relationship.

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4points

Ashley Purandare

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Borderline Writer 2 years ago

You are not alone! It happens with us...relationship requires trust...it is hard to do with an illness.

0points

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#84

The voices in my head annoy me. So then don't listen to us!

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4points

Daniel Yamada

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Ericka Hokkanen 2 years ago

Delete delete delete is a good chant for those voices, damn them!

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#85

Besides being exhausted to the point of feeling sick all the time despite being on meds - how weird people treat me when they find out I hallucinate. I'm not fragile because of it, and I'm not a zoo exhibit to ogle at all the time. I'm grateful that people don't try to say they understand, but part of me feels so... looked down upon.

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4points

Bailey Nelson

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Ericka Hokkanen 2 years ago

Tell them to stop & why you want them to stop. People, in general, are ignorant (do not know-never been told) that what they are doing is irritating and cruel. Education is a great tool - give it a whirl

0points

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#86

I have depression, anxiety and absent dad syndrome, it's f****n' terrible. My mom doesn't understand the things I am going through. She is a strict Christian woman who says she will spank me for doing something "on purpose". I think my entire family is the reason why I am depressed. It's because of this that I never want children, I don't want to pass down this generational trauma.

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4points

A.J Milne

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Tamra 2 years ago

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I hope you are able to find someone to talk these things through with.

3points

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#87

When you suffer from C.R.S. like me it makes things Very difficult because you have to double check things constantly. Did i bring this? Did i say this already? What is your name, again? C**p i was just there i forgot to get that. For those that do not know what C.R.S. is (Can't Remember S**t) Billions suffer this every day, it is nothing to laugh at.

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4points

Bruce Augustine

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Mariah Gensmer 2 years ago

I flat out tell people I'm bad with names and i won't waste the energy remembering names to faces until they've been around long enough to make it worth it.

4points

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#88

Tbh I think it's probably the stigma that comes with it. It's really annoying. Like I can't just tell someone that yeah I go to therapy bc they look at you different and you can see the judgment in their eyes.

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4points

Nikova Solace

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Hope Cows&Chickens 2 years ago

Personally, I think everybody (and society as a whole) would be better if everyone had therapy!

2points

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#89

People do not understand
I think i have anxiety and depression n people just dont understand how hard it can be some times and it makes it so much worse
Especially teachers

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4points

dot dot dot.

POST

Argle Bargle 2 years ago

Anxiety an depression are real, and they can be big and overwhelming. And they're silent and invisible, and it sure is hard when others don't understand you or make space for it. And it's twice as hard when you're going through school.

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#90

I hate that people think OCD is just being organized or something. It's really annoying and not true. I have to check the knobs on the stove every night before I go to bed just to make sure they are off. Every night. And I have an order for most things that I have to do every time. Logically I don't think anything bad will happen if I don't do things in my order but it just feels like I have to. It's not a choice. I will go out of my way to do it a certain way. Example: When I was little I was really small and when I put my seat belt on in the car I would bend to look at it and the part across your chest would slip over my head. It just happened like that and I grew up with that being associated with putting my seat belt on. So now when I get in the car I put the part that goes over your chest over my head and behind me, click the seat belt in place and put the chest part back over my head. Honestly I don't even know why I just do it. I didn't even really notice until my friend teased me abt it in their car. Why am I the way that I am? Idfk anymore.

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4points

Nikova Solace

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Vorknkx 2 years ago

I can't leave for work i nthe morning, if I haven't touched the stove several times, to make sure it's off. And I have to hold my hands on it for at least 5 seconds, just to make sure, otherwise I feel like I am missing something.

3points

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#91

The fact that you are trapped and unable to escape

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4points

Jeff‍

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

It's a bugger. No days' off, no holiday pay. Standing with you <3

0points

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#92

1) exhaustion. Having anxiety dissorder is extremley exhausting, and drive lot of us towards fatigue dissorders.
2) never being able to plan since I have no idea if I will be able to sleep ok. And the plans you make often need to be scraped or at the very least adjusted.
3) that feeling of... nope. I will not tell you. Because then you will think I am stupid and hate me. That feeling. Times a million.
4) ever heard of people being afraid that they are not good enough for their work. We have that times 1000. All the time. About almost everything.

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4points

Erik Ivan

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Borderline Writer 2 years ago

I can relate. You are not alone!

1point

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#93

I'm autistic, I have very bad social disability to the poin I "look autistic" (don't talk, don't look at people), but then people assume I'm also mentally disabled and treat me either like a child or like I'm insane (meanwhile I have 128 IQ and am very proud of my mental capabilities). Which in turn infuriates me and that makes then think even more so that I'm insane. Also constantly being treated like I should be devoid of gender and sexual feelings because I'm supposed to be insane.

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4points

Himory TheDreamer

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Keller Worthen 2 years ago

My school social worker in 9th grade, who is supposed to be the main person in charge of dealing with students with mental illness. And then he treats me like a 4 year old, saying good job to little things. I've just got adhd and stuff yeah I can function.

5points

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#94

Suicidal depression. People saying I’ll be fine and that I’ll live when I almost didn’t. When I tell them the story of the cutting myself and getting a infection they shrug it of and think nothing of it. They don’t understand what I want through and what people are going through. Please think before you speak.

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4points

Weirdest Bi You’ll Ever Meet

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Borderline Writer 2 years ago

It hits hard in the back! You are not alone! Hugs.

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#95

Getting distressed when I can't daydream. It affects my daily life and I want to stop or at least be able to daydream less but I guess not lol. I got Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder btw

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4points

Valentino (they/it/he/xe)

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Borderline Writer 2 years ago

It happens...give yourself time to heal a little.

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#96

At times my mental illness takes a back seat to the ignorant, not so helpful remarks and advice I get from loved ones. I know they care, and I wouldn’t want them to ever feel my pain, I just wish they’d really try to understand that my thoughts and feelings are very real.
I feel I need to justify having a mental illness, whereas I never feel the need to justify a physical illness.
If you’re reading this and know someone who is struggling, please don’t try to ‘fix’ them. You may be causing more harm than doing good.

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Claire the Devils Advocate

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

Validating someone's experience and feelings, and travelling alongside someone with mental health are often the most helpful. I hear you and send validation your way

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#97

What has been written here by different authors in describing their lives, has also described what I feel/experience with my own depression. Now I'm getting a little teary with gratitude and YES!i'vebeentakingmymedication!okay?Geeeze! It is easier for me to use metaphors than to speak straightforwardly. This ends up confusing and being too boring to lots of people since we tend to want life spoon-fed to us in sound bites. These few sentences are nowhere close to a rant, btw.

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Cynthia

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

Hey Cynthia, thanks for sharing. You made me smile :-) Glad you'vebeentakingyourmedicationokgeeze, and glad you've been able to relate to others' stories and see your own reflected. It's powerful when we speak out and share with others, as it allows a space for others to be heard themselves. And if metaphors are your thing, that's your thing. Some of us find it hard to simplify information into the most important soundbites, so starting from 'when time began' and going forward until you get to the end, that's ok too. From one rambler to another, I hear you and thank you for sharing <3

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#98

I can't turn my bad thoughts off.

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Time Lady Donna

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Terri Williams 2 years ago

Those thoughts sneak in and create more chaos in our minds. I've gotten to the place where I tell myself, "NO!" to try and stop those thoughts. Recently I've begun saying it outloud. Rarely works but at least I can feel like I'm trying to do something to stop the negative thoughts and all the c**p/mistakes I made from the time I was young from haunting me. I think that people with depression and anxiety are so emotionally sensitive that we hang onto the negative and rip ourselves to shreds to try and be "perfect" or in my case what my family and friends accepted as "normal". At about 58 years old I started the journey to discover who I am and not what what others thought I should be. Now I'm working on not allowing what other people think about me feel like I've had my heart ripped out. I wish I'd had the strength to do this when i was in my 20's. My medications and a lot of counseling has helped me a lot. I hope you can find your way to a place of comfort.

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#99

People who think they understand what you are going through-but really have no idea-make you feel even worse and more depressed than you already are when they try to say things to "help" you to "not be sad". People thinking you are "less than" and in-capable because you have to rely on medicine to keep your mind straight and your head above water.

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melissa clevenger

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

Ah, the 'fixers' are out there, for sure. I guess they try to care in their own way, but you're right, it's infuriating and not helpful. And there is certainly a stigma around taking medicine for mental health. I hear where you're at, and I'm here with you without judgment.

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#100

All of the physical symptoms that come with it, that people always seem to forget about or not realise. Things like chest and stomach pain, nausea, or constant exhaustion from not sleeping properly. And when people tell you to just take an aspirin or something even though that never makes any difference. My mental illness makes me feel physically ill all the time, even though I'm not.

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AJay

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

Sleep deprivation is such a vicious cycle. Sending sleep your way 💤

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#101

The fact that I can't even get help because I'm not old enough to do it on my own and my parents don't believe in mental illnesses.

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Shagun Srivastava

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

Please keep reaching out for help to others. Someone out there will come through for you eventually. You're worth it

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#102

There's a few things-
The imposter syndrome (why am I depressed when people have it so much worse?)
People always saying "oh you're too young to be mentally ill" or "You're just being angsty"
A never ending cycle of forgetting to take my meds
It's almost impossible to make plans because I'm never sure how I will feel when the time comes.

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GayFireTruck

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Babyoda42 (he him) 2 years ago

I hope you get help. No one is too young to have mental illness. I will pray for you

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#103

Not being able to fit in like everyone else seems to. Doing a lot of "masking" to blend in better.

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JR_4755826

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

Masking and trying to fit in is exhausting. I hope you find a space and a tribe where you can be unapologetically yourself <3

2points

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#104

I have depression. I HATE it when people tell me that it's all in my head and that I should just count my blessings and just try to smile more. I was told this one once by a doctor. Quite recently, actually. Oh, and she told me that losing weight would cure my depression too. I don't go to her anymore.

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IlovemydogShilo

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Rowan 2 years ago

F**k that doctor. Sounds like the therapist one of my friends sisters had who asked her constantly where she cut herself and why she would do that to such beautiful skin. He was such a creep from what I got told

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#105

How I treat other people sometimes. I'm either avoiding them or being a jerk because of anxiety it seems. My friends keep me around though, so maybe that's the anxiety talking?

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David Houde

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

Anxiety can be so overwhelming, and sometimes, that makes us react in the heat of the moment, rather than respond the way we'd prefer. But it's hard to pick up the mess after we've behaved like a jerk lol. Sending hope and strength <3

2points

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#106

anxiety that feeling ughh the feeling of always being worried something is going to happen.

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Cynthia Gonzales

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Mariah Gensmer 2 years ago

The "prepare for the worst but being surprised by the best" which brings on more anxiety because it didnt go how i thought it would.

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#107

i hate the fact my personalities can switch without my permission.
I can't even manage it. just try my best to calm down all my myselfs.

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Belluška Vejvodová

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Valentino (they/it/he/xe) 2 years ago

DID/OSDD? Or just, personalities for different groups of people?

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#108

ADHD It kind of sucks sometimes. I can’t focus. Boredom leads to emotional distress and I am a leading cause of physical distress in other people. I try my best but sometimes I loose control and hurt people. People are scared of me. I have one group of friends (mostly neuro divergent folks too. They tend to stick together like a pack of weird wolves) and most other people don’t want to talk to me. Once, I got called a “weird, r******d Antichrist”. I was pretty smug about this (cuz good omens) but it was still hurtful. Also, get me onto one of my “special interests” and I won’t shut up. These include; mythology, my pets, goldfish and nature.

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Viola Yarrow

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Trash (she/her) 2 years ago

As someone who also struggles with ADHD, I get where you’re coming from. Don’t feel bad for your special interests. If the people around you make you feel that way, they’re the problem, not you. If you think it would help, you could try to talk to them about it. Or you could find some communities online where you could talk to people with your same interests. Good luck! ❤️

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#109

OCD.

i get easily upset over things that don’t matter. little things like somebody sitting in my chair (a chair i have in my house that i just really like and i get stupidly upset if anyone sits in it idk why) or certain foods or thoughts make me disgusted. i have these little rules in my head which i have to follow and if i don’t i get upset and have negative thoughts.

little things help me relax like crossing my pinkie and ring finger but i hate being upset over such small things. i get angry, shout, sometimes it even resorts to something physical if i get really mad (thankfully not that often) but i really hate it.

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Miss Marmite

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Hope Cows&Chickens 2 years ago

We are creatures of habit. Some of us cling to our routines in order to stay sane. If you need to cross your pinkies to feel better, I say cross away! I hate getting out of control anger& I'm sorry you have to experience it.

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#110

The most annoying thing about my mental illness is feeling trapped all the time by something I cannot identify. I don’t know if I’m feeling sad, angry, or afraid. I just know I’m feeling bad. I’m feeling wrong. I’m feeling physically sick, and that’s just about my only indicator of what’s going on emotionally. And I can’t express myself. I can’t explain or describe anything, even to friends, family, or my therapist (therapy really does help though, and I’m glad that I have access to it, as well as friends who would be willing to support me). It also makes it difficult to deal with my other mental illnesses, like anxiety, inattentive type ADHD, and depression. It’s like they’re hiding under a blanket. They’re still there, and I’m still very aware of them, I just can’t see them, so I can’t name them. I feel like I can never get anything done. I feel like I don’t know anything about myself. It’s difficult for me to keep up with my interpersonal relationships. It’s so frustrating, being halfway between “I hate myself” and “I don’t feel anything.”

In conclusion: alexithymia is a b***h.

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saw & order

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weezer enjoyer (Submission author) 2 years ago

I think I accidentally posted this several times on accident, because I couldn’t get it to load. Not sure how to delete it. Sorry.

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#111

Having depression and anxiety.
I know what I need to do, but I'm too anxious to deal with my depression and too depressed to deal with my anxiety.
And I'm not technically suicidal cause I don't actively try to kill myself, nevermind the fact that if the opportunity to die was presented I would take it without hesitation.

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Cassandra Rayner

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Terri Williams 2 years ago

Same. I've only told my younger sister that I wouldn't commit suicide but I wouldn't be bothered if an accident happened and I died.

1point

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#112

Anxiety is really bad when I don’t have my medication for it, OCD brings random thoughts into my head, and my anxiety acts on them creating bad what of scenarios. My OCD makes me want to keep things organized, but my ADHD won’t let me.

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Artistic Cat (he him)

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Babyoda42 (he him) (Submission author) 2 years ago

There are more I have, I just don’t want to mention them

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#113

High functioning autism with depression and social phobia

I hate how I isolate myself from the rest of the world even if I know it makes everything worse. Just keep doing it. Haven't had a girlfriend since I was 14 because I decided I didn't want to drag someone else down into my problems and depression and now I'm 32 and not much has changed.

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Magnus Eklund

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

It can be so lonely and isolating, for sure. It is hard to want to bring someone else into our world, and it feels safe and comforting to be alone. I have hope that, if you want, you will find the right people who get you and travel the journey beside you. You are worthy of respect, hope and happiness.

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#114

I think mostly for me it hard to control my emotions and sometimes it hard to make the terrible thoughts go away. With lots of practice I've been Abel to do it but it is not easy. I have to watch the way I think about stuff.

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Fluffy mommy panda

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

Stinking thinking is tough, and takes so much effort to keep on top of.

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#115

The amount of medications I need to take every day in the AM and PM. just want to stop

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AffenpinscherMom

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

Yep, hard to keep taking those. The struggle is real.

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#116

That I mask so well, people don't believe me when I speak up when I'm struggling, because I don't look _______ (insert just about everything with an acronym).

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Argle Bargle

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Birgit M 2 years ago (edited)

Yeah, same! I look (and seem to be) quite tough, and when I talk about anxiety, people think I‘m joking.

2points

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#117

ADHD is annoying cause your really energetic sometimes or just really tired the next day plus alot of people are annoyed at me because im just insanely energetic whenever they are near me lol although it doesn't affect me, im truly sorry for the people that have to listen to my c**p lol

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DonutWrath >:)

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

I'm truly glad you've shared here, thank you for being you. Yep, ADHD can make you have such a racing mind and pressured speech, and it often doesn't match the people's energy around you. So tricky, sending strength <3

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#118

Symptoms of severe mental illness can be very similar to symptoms of dementia, but the people who have these disorders are treated completely differently by authorities. If your 75 year old mother with dementia drives off in her car and cannot be found, they issue a "Silver Alert". If your 24 year old daughter with bipolar does the same thing, the cops say "She is an adult and is allowed to go wherever she wants."

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yellowphantom

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

It is so hard to make new memories when you have a mental illness, as all your systems are overwhelmed and not capable of storing new information. I get the brain drain, and you're right, it does mimic dementia. Hard to get taken seriously on this.

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#119

It’s the constant fatigue that comes with depression. It’s so emotionally draining. I went on mirtazipine a few weeks back and yesterday was the first time in months I didn’t wake up with crippling sadness.
I went to the gym, and had friends over. It’s amazing what we take for granted when our brains aren’t sabotaging us.
I promise there is a light at the end of it. It’s very, very dim; it’s there though.

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elsieairhead

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

It must be such a relief for you to have found a medication that suits you and has helped restore function. You are so right, depression is super fatiguing.

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#120

I have been diagnosed with high functioning depression, as well as anxiety and panic attacks. I work full time, some days I can be on top of the world and feel great and other days, I can't even get out of bed. My husband tries to be understanding, he has suffered from depression as a teenager himself and still has anxiety and panic attacks but, doesn't understand that each person's experience of poor mental health is unique. What works for one person, may not work for another, I wish people understood that. From the outside, I appear as a confident and outspoken person but inside I am a writhing mass of anxiety and constant stress, it's easy to see why some people take their lives.

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J

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

That sounds like a hard place to be, and I acknowledge your struggle. Masking makes it hard for people to take you seriously, and it is another layer of effort added on top. I can't fix anything for you, but know I am here with you <3

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#121

Yesterday (6/11) I had a bad mental health day and I needed to be left alone and needed rest. My parents? FUCKEN YELLED AT ME, for "making excuses when work needs done." WTF like excuse me for having depression, anxiety, and ADHD. Like sorry I was crying on the couch for a reason I don't know

Please let your friends or family have the time to themselves that they need

PS I'm 16

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MelodyHope666

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Rowan 2 years ago

❤️

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#122

The pity. That's the worst bit for me. I don't have a diagnosis for anything (I'm not brave enough to approach anyone for help– but I am pretty sure I have anxiety + mild social anxiety, alongside a bunch of asd traits of varying strength) but I like to confide how I'm feeling sometimes in others so they can like understand why I don't like to do certain things/be in certain situations. And the worst thing they can possibly say is "I feel so sorry for you". And my friends at school always say that exact thing. I don't want their pity. Sympathy, empathy, that's what I'm looking for. Not their damn pity. Even a joke response would be better. I don't know why, it just feels so belittling and dismissive. So yeah, that's the worst bit for me. Imo, it's almost worst than the actual anxious feelings

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Rowan [He/They]

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Borderline Writer 2 years ago

Go out! You are safe!

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#123

I feel that something is wrong with me and for several years I have not been able to convince my parents to see a doctor and have a diagnosis. Ignorance makes me feel even more lost. Fortunately, this year I won't have to ask for permission anymore

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CreativeNickname

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A. 2 years ago

Good for you. I hope you get the help you need.

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#124

Friend at work thinks I have Tourette’s. Maybe right…..

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Gary Sansom

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Valentino (they/it/he/xe) 2 years ago

You could, or you could have another mental disability that causes tics as well. I mean, I have ADHD and I get hella bad tics when I'm stressed, cold, tired, or when I hear certain sounds ^^

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#125

Having Depression and Anxiety.
I know what I need to do, but I'm too anxious to deal with my depression and too depressed to deal with my anxiety.
And I'm technically not suicidal cause I'm not actively trying to kill myself, nevermind the fact that if the opportunity to die was presented I would take it without hesitation.

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Cassandra Rayner

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Borderline Writer 2 years ago

I hope you find your comfort object or person today...and stay safe...

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#126

Person: *breaks phone*
Also person: "OMG I'm SO depressed, I'm gonna cut my wrists and end this agonizing pain forever unless somebody runs to stop me! I don't want to live anymore, so I'll post a bunch of suicidal quotes saying goodbye and tell everyone on social media how hard my life is until someone gives me attention. Ooh, better post a picture with a single tear running down my cheek too - still gonna have a full face of makeup on though."
Me with Bipolar Disorder: *suffers silently in the corner*

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The_Nicest_Misanthrope

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

Bipolar is a roller coaster. Hang in there, you're worth it

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#127

Paralysing Shame. I mean it literally. Depression and Anxiety are beasts of their own but I find myself at times frozen, still, in silence ashamed and afraid of my body's reaction if I let myself feel things.

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Blue

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

Shame is a hard thing to sit with. I'll sit here with you if you like

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#128

Im autistic and this is one of the many things that annoys me
I have lots of triggers and it’s really hard to live a day to day life sometimes if things have changed, it’s to loud or bright etc
But I still have to and sometimes it really sucks

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Autistic apricot

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

I hear you, and it totally sucks. Can the world turn down the lights and volumes on everything please?

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#129

Been struggling with depression since the age of 13. After years of therapy, I was able to manage it, but then life happened and now I'm left with severe anxiety that is probably due to ptsd.

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Polina Dimentbarg

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

That's a tough gig. Anxiety is a hard one to sit with, and it is so physical and debilitating. I have hope that there are some better days in there, and send you strength <3

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#130

Depression sucks but sucks worse when someone tells you to snap out of it.

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Kelli

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

Yep, it sure does. Do people not think that if that was all it took, we would have done that first up? Sending strength and hope <3

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#131

I want some respite care from myself. It would be great some time away from Major Depressive Disorder with Anxiety and CPTSD and PTSD. To not have to worry about my other health problems. To not have to carefully take my medication. To not have to be confronted by my flashbacks would truly be outstanding. I’ve had depression since I can remember as a small child. It would be so good to have a time out but in reality it’s not possible. I understand drug addiction, alcoholism and fitness obsessions in trying to be healthy. I’m tired of being the elephant in the room that everyone sees but no one talks about it or to me. Yes, I have that label. I don’t want to be this way and try as I might it doesn’t go away. I feel as if I’m one of those kids toy punching bags. They are a blow up in the size of an average child’s height with a clown picture on the side with sand in the bottom of it. You kick it, punch it down and it comes back up again with that scary inane clowns smile. Thats how I’ve seen myself through the years with my mental illnesses.
I’ve been told to ‘just get over it’ ‘and it’s all in your head is what wrong with you.’ Yeah, that one’s always given me a laugh however it bites hard and as much as I try to advocate for people worse off than me I would like some respite. If only.

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Louisa Spoke

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

Omg, I wish there was a day off - where do I apply? I can tell how strong you are as a person, because it takes all your strength and courage to keep getting up, day after day, and do it all again. I acknowledge your struggle, and respect you for hanging in there. You are deserving of worth, happiness and hope <3

2points

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#132

I know this is never going to get seen but I'll say it anyways. Not knowing if what you're going through is normal. Being told that your coping mechanism is inherently wrong, broken, that you can't do that, you have to do this thing that you can't handle right now, no you can't do that this is how it has to be, that's unacceptable, and not knowing if they're right or not. It messes with your head, digs into every little crevice and squeezes the life from your soul. Confusion, doubt, pain, all stemming with one question that just won't shut the f*ck up: "What if I'm wrong? What if I'm just a soft little crybaby? What if they're right to shame me? What if I deserve this?"

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Charlotte Richards

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Birgit M 2 years ago

I feel you and I wish I could say something to make you feel better! You deserve to be happy! 🧡

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#133

People treating you like you are a defective person or have a personality flaw vs. Having a medical condition

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Beth Ellis

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

It's hard when other people can't emphasise with where you're at, and when they look down on you for struggling with mental health. Not your fault <3

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#134

People telling you to “just do this!” For example I have a few mental illnesses and once somebody told me “just eat! It’s not that hard! You make life worse for everyone when you starve yourself! God you are so annoying! You aren’t even skinny enough to have an0rexia! You just want attention”
That broke me, I don’t think I’ve ever felt worse in my life

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️‍sHeS rEaLLy gOoD️‍ (They/Them)

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

That's gotta hurt. Eating disorders affect everyone in a different way, and the internal battle is real. I hear you, and send strength

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#135

Ok so I think this might get some people angry and I want to say here and now that that was not the goal
I hate it when other people say I’m “wrong” and I’m being “disrespectful” or something like that because I said I have a mental illness and I’m untested, not everyone has the resources, I am a minor living with my family, I can’t tell them I have my issues because it’s a pandemic and I have had issues with my family in the past and I don’t wanna live through that again
Some people and more privaliged than others, while you might have the resources, money and time to get tested for mental illness, I do not and there is nothing I can do about it and therefore am forced to self diagnose
Don’t get me wrong I don’t support all self diagnosed people, i think you should look into what you think you have before saying you have it as an example of this I would be kind of mad if someone just said they have something without doing any research on the thing, if they say they think they have it and that they are looking into it then I support and will help them but if they say a TikTok and just decided that they now have a mental illness I wouldn’t agree with them but overall to each their own
The point of this rant is that we don’t all have the same resources to get tested for illness and therefore never say someone is incorrect if they are self diagnosed cause you don’t know the whole situation

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️‍sHeS rEaLLy gOoD️‍ (They/Them)

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

It is really really expensive to get tested to get a diagnosis, for sure. It is out of reach for a lot of people, and it makes it that much harder to get the support you need. Self-diagnosis is valid and important.

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#136

Final score:

1point

Sabs

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Sabs (Submission author) 2 years ago

Sorry admins, can you delete this, it totally crashed when I uploaded it and won’t show.

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#137

Alexithymia. I cannot identify or describe the emotions happening inside me. I can’t tell if I’m sad, angry, or afraid, for example. I only know that I’m feeling bad. I’m feeling wrong. But I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can’t explain what I’m feeling, not to my friends, family, my therapist (although therapy does help and I’m super grateful that I have access to it.), or even to myself. I also have depression, anxiety, and inattentive type ADHD, but no way to describe them. I have no words. I cannot breathe. I’m trapped inside my personality, inside of a cloud of emotions that do not feel like my own. I don’t know anything about myself. I’m constantly stuck between totally numb and everything happening all at once. I wish I could just turn my emotions off completely, or all the way on. But I can’t. It’s so frustrating.

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saw & order

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Borderline Writer 2 years ago

You are not alone! You are doing better!

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#138

DID - Never properly knowing if and when the altar will front
Skitsophrenia - Not always being able to tell between the real voices and the ones inside my head.

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Atchaco-Leigh

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Babyoda42 (he him) 2 years ago

I wish you luck. It sounds terrible.

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#139

Final score:

1point

Maren Villadsen

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

I hear you.

1point

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#140

ADHD is like you seeing a dumb horror movie character, but that's you. And you can't control it

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Wilder Bourdaghs

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

Yup, I hear you. Control-alt-delete would come in so handy irl :-)

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#141

The most annoying thing about my mental illness is feeling trapped all the time by something I cannot identify. I don’t know if I’m feeling sad, angry, or afraid. I just know I’m feeling bad. I’m feeling wrong. I’m feeling physically sick, and that’s just about my only indicator of what’s going on emotionally. And I can’t express myself. I can’t explain or describe anything, even to friends, family, or my therapist (therapy really does help though, and I’m glad that I have access to it, as well as friends who would be willing to support me). It also makes it difficult to deal with my other mental illnesses, like anxiety, inattentive type ADHD, and depression. It’s like they’re hiding under a blanket. They’re still there, and I’m still very aware of them, I just can’t see them, so I can’t name them. I feel like I can never get anything done. I feel like I don’t know anything about myself. It’s difficult for me to keep up with my interpersonal relationships. It’s so frustrating, being halfway between “I hate myself” and “I don’t feel anything.”

In conclusion: alexithymia is a b***h.

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saw & order

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Argle Bargle 2 years ago

I hear you, alexithymia is a badass b***h for sure.

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#142

The most annoying thing in this woke-snowflake-cancel-culture nowadays, is having common sense. Common sense is now seen as mental illness. Just look at my downvotes! :P

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Fintch

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